Full moon
by Wolfpire94
Summary: When Renesmee Cullen was just 3 years old, her brother-like best friend Jacob disappeared. She is now 17 and still hasn't seen him. However, when he DOES return - everything has changes for Renesmee in ways that she never expected...
1. Prologue

**Okay, so this is a new addition to Full Moon - I just had an idea to give the story an prologue... I may also add an epilogue to lead it onto it's sequel Last Quarter :)**

**Anyway! Hope you enjoy the story!**

**Prologue**

To be brave, you must have been a coward.

To be predator, you must have been the prey.

To be smart, you must have been stupid.

To be the best, you must have been the worst.

To be loved, you must have been hated...

If someone had told me a year ago, everything that would happen during the course of the next year - I would have had them locked up in an asylum. I have faced many things; life, death, hate, revenge, but the one thing that helped demolish the bad - I've faced pure, powerful, undying love. It was the power of this love that I never thought I'd feel in my eternal life and it is a love that I can never let go... Even if I tried.

Time changes a lot of things and sometimes things turn out in ways you could never expect. You gain things, you learn things, you lose things, you earn things and so on.

However, learning my lesson is something that rarely occurs with me. I rarely ever learn from my mistakes, I just tend to attack the problem again and hope for the best. As I lie in darkness, miles away from home, I realise how, no matter how stupid the decisions I've made in the past few months have been - I can't bring myself to regret everything. Although I may have completely screwed everything up... I may even be speaking as a deceased narrator now. But I know that everything I did helped to make me a stronger, wiser and thicker skinned person.

I'm still fighting, though. I'm fighting to wake up, I'm fighting to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Sure, I may have had some pretty rough things happen to me over the past year - but there's no doubting it's been the best year of my life, so far. And it's those good memories that I'm fighting to keep alive and to hold onto them, hold on to him. Jacob...

**Hope this encouraged you to read on!**

**:)**


	2. Memories

Okay, it's taken over a year for me to convince myself that it would be a good idea for me to publish this story onto here. I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE TWILIGHT SAGA!  
>If you likereally like it then please PLEASE comment/ rate it - if i get enough then i'll put the second chapter up as well. I hope you do like it, it's taken me ages to write it!

Enjoy!

PS. Sorry the beginning drags a bit, but I just wanted to try an emphasise Renesmee's feelings at the time.

**MEMORIES**

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER AGONISING TWENTY-FOUR HOURS ADDED TO MY never ending life. Everyday, I wake up with the same questions flowing through my head.

Why did he leave?

Where did he go?

Who is he with?

Until now.

Now I only wonder, is he okay?

Admittedly, it had been fifteen years since he left. I should have been over it by now, right? – Wrong. Over the years it had become easier to hide my true feelings from my family. However my father, Edward Cullen, could easily notice a small slip in my poker face of thoughts. Recently, it had become easier to relax and be relatively normal. However it still wasn't easy.

I didn't know that it was even possible to miss someone so much, to need someone. Had I been in a coma for the first three years of my life or something? Had he been a dream? Then snatched away from me when I woke one morning to find he was no longer here.

Losing your best friend from school is one thing. But, losing your best friend who had been there since the day you were born, who visited _everyday _and who promised to always be there. _That_ is something else. He was my best friend. He was like an older brother to me. He, was _my_ Jacob.

I was suffering from depression, I _had_ to be, was it even possible for me to suffer from depression?

In case you're thinking that I'm being high and mighty about myself when I say 'is it even possible for _me_ to suffer from depression' – let me stop you right there. I don't think I'm better than other people, I'm just not _like_ other people.

I am classed as a hybrid. I'm two things. And, it's not my personality. It's more or less _what_ I am that are two things, I'm two species in one.

Predator and prey. Life and death. Strong and weak. Fast and slow. Mortal and immortal.

Human and vampire.

Yes, that's me. I'm a half human and half vampire seventeen year old girl. _Go me_.

My parents, Bella and Edward Cullen, got married whilst my mother was still human and my father a vampire. She conceived me, _still_ a human and refused to have me removed. At the time, she was most probably _the_ definition of moron. And it's not the fact that she was eighteen years old that made her an idiot for keeping me. It was because I was quickly killing her because I needed blood to survive, I was breaking many of her bones, she was dying and yet she insisted on keeping me. I'm not saying that I wished she had killed me, but, I still have that memory in my head. The guilt burns me like acid.

She's dead now. Well, _un-dead_, she's a vampire, just like my father and the rest of my family. So she is technically dead.

So, my life has never been normal, and never will be. _Great_. Most humans say that they don't want their lives to be normal, but on the odd occasion I wish I _was_ normal. All normal, not just half. If I had been a human child, then my growth rate wouldn't have been obscure. And if that hadn't happened then I would have gone to school and been in _every_ grade and made friends and enemies. But because I was growing up too fast, I had to stay at home. Which after the age of three, where I physically looked about eight years old and was mentally about eleven, made my life miserable.

Which brings me back to Jacob. Being at home reminded me of him too much. I didn't exactly have a social life with friends who could take my mind of it. Jacob knew about our family's secret, so did his friends or his _pack_. And we knew theirs.

You see, Jacob is a shape-shifter. He and his friends can shape-shift into huge wolves. They're horse size wolves. In some sense they are quiet frightening, but they're nice in themselves.

Every day I become haunted by my memories with Jacob. As I end up spending all my time at home because I have nothing else to do, I stay in the places Jake and I used to play, laugh, have _fun_. The first day he didn't show, felt different, but not entirely a shock. I just thought that he was going to come by tomorrow or later that evening. It wasn't until the next day where everything turned to rubble...

My head turned away from my reading book to look over to the front door as it burst open. Seth Clearwater walked in with Quil Ateara, Embry Call and his sister Leah Clearwater. Jacob's pack. He had a worrying look on his face. Seth had always been the more relaxed, happy and carefree member of the pack. However, today, that was not the case.

"Seth!" I cheered happily at the sight of a wolf in the house.

"Hey kiddo, where's your mommy and daddy?" he asked, trying to put on a happy smile. Before I could tell him a place where they most probably weren't, my mother, Bella Cullen walked into the room with my father following her from behind.

"Bella! Hey!" he said frantically.

"Hi Seth, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Have you guys seen Jake anywhere?" he asked. I gulped – a lot louder than what I expected. We hadn't seen Jacob in two days, it was clear they hadn't either. Where had he gone?

"No, we haven't seen him since Tuesday. We kinda thought he was with you, patrolling across borders and taking your time or something." She said, crouching down next to me and holding me close to her. I could sense something was wrong.

"No, we've been here the whole time. I'm mean, Jakes our alpha, I know he doesn't like to be called it, but he's not here to tell us otherwise, so.."

"When did you last see him?" Dad asked.

"A couple a' nights ago. Well, mornings really. It was before he came here to see Ness-"

"Seth.." growled my mother. She _still_ despised the nickname Jake had given me. Personally, I didn't mind it. And I didn't think that anyone else did, except from my mom.

"Sorry-" Seth apologised "- before he came to see _Renesmee_. Billy told us that when Jake got home, Sam had come to talk to him. They spoke and then they went. He has no idea where they went or what Sam wanted to talk about, Sam's disappeared. And Jake, he's gone too"...

My body jumped as it began to feel as if I had been stabbed with millions of pins and I was broken out of that horrific and vivid nightmare, _again_. I lay helplessly between my sweat covered mattress and my screwed up duvet. My heart pounding as if I had just seen a ghost. Of course, in _my_ world, there are _a lot_ scarier things than a light of a spirit.

My cheeks felt dry and stiff where a combination of tears and sweat had dried up on it. My fingers were grasping onto my t-shirt.

Almost every night, I re-lived that day in a nightmare. And every time I would wake up either on the floor crying, my teeth biting through a pillow to release my pain or like this – panting, dripping in sweat and tears and feeling more disappointed and sick than humanly possible. Imagine that, every morning, waking up in some traumatic state, for _fifteen_ years.

There had been a lot of occasions where I was afraid of sleeping, and I tried my hardest not to sleep. Only twice had I succeeded in having sleepless nights.

When I was younger, and Jacob had recently left, my dreams seemed worse, causing my reactions to be worse. I would scream and cry in my sleep. I _still_ cried, but quietly. My parents were worried sick. Apparently it sounded like I was being murdered. The worst part of it they found was when they couldn't wake me up. I was _actually_ quite a deep sleeper back then. However, over the years I had taught myself to sleep lightly so that I could break out of the nightmares on my own.

Admittedly, I _did_ have a small period of time where it wasn't bothering me too much. That was during the first time my parents attempted for me to go to school. There were a few distractions whilst I was attending school that managed to keep my mind on other things. My life wasn't too bad then, up until I got expelled. But I suppose, _because_ I got expelled I eliminated the whole period of time I was there as 'going to school' – to me it didn't count.

As my mind left the thoughts, I noticed that the usual grey blanket covered the sky that morning, and no doubt it would for the rest of the day.

Forks, Washington – The rainiest place in western America, or probably the whole of America.

This is my home town. Well, we didn't really live in Forks. We lived just outside of Forks, in no man's land. Our house is located in the heart of a deciduous forest. I didn't live with my parents anymore. When I was seven I was asked if I wanted to live in the big house with the rest of my family, and I said yes.

My parents lived in a cosy yet constantly renewed cottage in the middle of the forest. I used to live in that cottage, but now I had my own room in my adopted grandparent's home. Here live, myself, my grandparents Carlisle and Esme, my aunts Alice and Rosalie and my annoying yet lovable uncles Jasper and Emmett.

As a child, Rosalie had always seemed like a second mother to me. Over the years, I slowly gathered Rosalie's desperation to have her own children. But being a vampire has its consequences and one of them is being frozen in time. For the men it may not make much difference. However, for the women it's not the same. Sure they may not have the drama of wrinkles and midlife crisis, but they are incapable of having children. For vampires that is set in stone, but for a hybrid vampire it remains unknown.

There has only ever been one other of me, his name is Nahuel. He shares similar abilities to me and other vampires. Except, Nahuel is venomous and I'm not. Also I possess a power, this is a power almost opposite my father's. I can project my own thoughts into the mind of others, just by touching them. When I was younger and just learning, it used to be uncontrollable, but I have taught myself to control it and only used it when necessary.

Lying in bed was quickly boring me. I guess that was another thing which made me different from other teenagers; I couldn't stay in bed until the afternoon, as soon as I was bored, I would get up.

Slowly, I pushed my damp back up from my mattress. I slid out of the bed and made my way to the bathroom to have a shower and rinse the sweat off my body.

The water was pretty cold, not ice cold, but below lukewarm. It made a difference from feeling warm and clammy. I slowly felt refreshed, like I had been standing naked in the rain or something.

Once I had dried my body, I took the hair clip out my hair, releasing my long, bronzy-brown curls.

In my room the air felt muggy. I headed for my large window that covered one of the walls. It was cut into sections; the window _actually_ looked quite artistic. Any section of the window that opened was above the waist.

As I approached the right corner, small spots of rain were beginning to hit the glass.

Typical Forks weather, like I said.

I flicked the switch on the window and pushed it gently. The window's system was used to my light touch an immediately pushed out slightly, then letting me slide it to the left and letting in as much fresh air as needed. For the meantime, the window needed to be wide open.

Officially, the greatest feeling in the world – fresh air that has soared through the forest floods your room. The smell is great too- damp, fresh and a strong scent of wet grass.

One of the things I enjoyed doing the most here was going on long walks in the forest. It was my safe zone, my home.

I was thankful at this moment that we didn't have any neighbours; I was standing at my window in nothing by a white towel.

Reluctantly, I tore myself away from the open window and walked towards my room-like wardrobe. This wardrobe had a rule in a way: _Nothing is to be worn more than once_. Okay, that wasn't really a rule of the wardrobe, but it was the rule of Alice. There was even a light switch next to the door that lit the inside of the wardrobe. My parents had one very similar, except theirs is obviously bigger.

Today I didn't feel like dressing up in anything too pretty. My plan for the day was to go for a walk. There wasn't much casual wear in here, Alice wouldn't allow it. Bella had told me in the past how she used to dress as casual as you could get. Evidently, Alice didn't agree with it. So once my mom and dad were married, Alice was thrilled to know that my mother's outfit were now under her jurisdiction.

After an adventure and a half of trying to find a relatively normal outfit that wasn't something found on the catwalk. I found something that wouldn't make me look like a brunette Barbie trying to connect with nature for the first time in her nearly eighteen years of life. Flared jeans, weren't an option, they were unknown in this wardrobe. Skinny jeans were the only type of denim that I had, and denim was the only thing I could relate to casual.

As I sat at my dresser, I began to realise that washing my hair would have been a good idea whilst in the shower. My fingers kept getting caught as I gently ran them through my slightly knotty hair. By this time, I really couldn't be bothered to go back to the shower and wash my hair; drying it took roughly an hour and a bit. Out the corner of my eye, I saw a hair scrunchie lying on the desk. Due to my laziness, I decided to just tie my hair up. It wasn't as if I was really going anywhere special.

I plodded down the stairs that lead into the front room. Alice skipped in through the front door with Jasper holding a large bunch of tulips in her hand.

"Morning Alice." I called in a reasonably happy tone.

"Good morning Miss I-Can't-Be-Bothered-To-Dress-Nicely." She frowned, her voice was a mixture of annoyance and tease, I wasn't sure which one to go with.

"Oh c'mon Alice," I moaned "I'm only going out for a walk in the forest, not the catwalk." Alice shook her head in disappointment.

"Okay, I'll let you off this time. You're just like your mother." She smiled at me and lead Jasper away with her like a prisoner. It was actually quiet funny. Jasper nodded and smiled at me as we passed and I nudged him playfully in the arm.

If I didn't have the gory and vivid memory of my mother in labour with me then I would have thought that I was born out of a tree. Being in this forest made me feel at home, it was my happy place. And not only that, but these were my family's hunting grounds too.

As I walked, I would feel the odd drop of rain fall onto my head. The forest was all the same, all the trees were on the same level which meant that you could see trees for miles. The roots of trees were a little harder to see however, a lot of bushes and other greenery covered the tree roots making it easier to trip over them.

The air was quite cold and wet almost.

As I walked I swung my arms absentmindedly from side to side like a child and stared up around the trees as if it was a completely new place. At the time, I had very little concentration and was almost in a daze when a sudden call alerted me.

But it wasn't the call of a person, it was an animal, a dog, a howl, a wolf- more than one.

However, I still recognised that call – it was Seth.

I often ran into Seth, sometimes accidently, sometimes on purpose. He was the only thing I had left of Jacob. Before I lost them, I bolted into their direction.

One of the abilities that I gained from my father's vampire side, was speed. Like a lot of the things I can do now, has built up over time.

For example my skin's reaction to sunlight. Unlike the most expected, I don't burn. My skin's sparkle has become stronger. We think it's something to do with the diet of blood that I have.

If I had chosen a more _human_ diet from a younger age then my skin would glisten very little, if at all.

But as I try as hard as I can to blend in with the rest of my vampire family, I end up hunting with them and only consume blood. Human food would probably have a bad reaction with my stomach by now.

Of course, I'm not as fast as the rest of my family, but I'm faster than the average human. I suppose a lot of the vampire abilities that I gained are weaker than my family, but still make me stronger than a human. It's the weaker side of me that makes me human-_ish_.

Finally, the howls got louder when I reached a clearing. It was a large circular field fenced by trees. I stopped suddenly at the edge of the border and almost fell flat on my face. The howls had stopped and the clearing was empty. Maybe it was my imagination? Darn my imagination!

I watched carefully around the clearing, suddenly, there was movement just on the other side. As I took a step forward and squinted my eyes, I could see something immerge from the trees, it was a wolf.

Seth.

His dark sandy fur was something that I hadn't seen in ages and something I missed.

I gently waved to him and he just stared at me. It was times like now when I wished I had my father's ability to read minds, or had him with me.

Before I could call to him, Seth began to back into the trees.

"Seth!" I called, but he didn't immerge again. I started to move forward and eventually I made my way into a jogged and then into a sprint across the clearing.

"Seth!" I called again as I neared the place where he had stood. Just when I was about to call his name again, he appeared from the trees, except this time in human form.

I ended up throwing myself into his hard chest. Once I realised that I was against him, I wrapped my arms around his back and hugged him tightly.

"You didn't think I was just gonna take off, did you?" he laughed.

I smiled lightly at him before stepping away. I looked up at him and he smiled at me, I smiled back.

"Geez, I haven't seen you in ages. How are you?" he asked me. I shrugged and slid my hands into my pockets.

"I've been better, but I've been worse," I admitted "what about you?"

"I'm good." He answered.

There was a moment of silence, but the silence wasn't quite awkward. I hadn't seen Seth in so long that I couldn't think of what to say to him.

"So how's it going at the Cullen clan?" he asked "Mom and Dad okay?" I nodded.

"Yeah, things are going good. My parents recently got the cottage redecorated and Carlisle moved to a different hospital."

"Really? How come?" he asked, surprised.

"Well, y'know, the usual. He's beginning to look a lot younger than he's meant to. So, he thought it was time to move on. This time I think he's gonna claim that he's twenty four or something should keep him there for quite a few years." I told him. "But, I dunno how much longer he's gonna keep this stuff up for. Eventually, there aren't gonna be anymore hospitals for him to go to. Meaning that, we have to move."

My voice became quiet and thoughtful before Seth spoke again.

"Naaa, I bet you've got a good decade or so ahead of you before you've gotta go," he assured me "besides, even if you _do_ have to go you don't need to be off right away. Come hang down at La Push for a couple of weeks, I'm sure mom won't mind keeping you for a bit. Or if not, there's always Billy. He gets pretty lonely from time to time, what with Rebecca still away, Rachel living with Paul and Jake-" he stopped.

I didn't push him to continue, in fact, I immediately tried my hardest to move on.

"But, what about you? How's your mom and Leah and everyone over in La Push?" I asked with a bit more enthusiasm than required.

"Yeah, we're all good. Sam actually appeared a couple of weeks ago." He said. I looked at him quite amazed. Sam had disappeared at the same time that Jacob had.

"Oh, great." I said quite happily "do you know if Jake was with him? Or if he knows anything about him?" I asked hopefully. Seth's small grin faded and he sighed, almost sympathetically.

"Renesmee, look. Sam came back, which is great. But he didn't mention anything about Jake. And truth be told, if Jake was gonna come back, then he would be back by now." He said.

So that was it. Now I was just meant to give up hope and move on.

"So, that's it?" I said, my voice starting to tremble slightly. "I just have to move on now?"

I could tell that Seth regretted his words straight away. Never had Seth tried to upset me, never had he hurt me and that was one of the reasons why I loved him.

I loved him like a best friend or like a brother, not like _that_ before anyone gets any ideas.

"No, no c'mon Renesmee, please don't cry on me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound so harsh. You know I didn't-" I interrupted him.

"I know you didn't mean for it to come out like that, you're just trying to be a good friend. Sorta."

Seth knew that my presence was sometimes really difficult. With me, he had to choose his words very carefully. Usually he avoided the topic of 'Jacob' like it was a plague and he would briefly participate in the conversation if I ever brought him up. Again, something I was grateful for. My family were the same, well, except from my parents. On the odd occasion they would bring him up if I was going through one of my 'phases'.

Now, I know that maybe I'm over reacting about Jacob's absence. And all I can say to that is: I can't help it. Sometimes in the darker 'phases' I have I would be almost rolling my eyes at myself. Unfortunately I can't actually bring myself to roll them physically.

But at times, I do think about how it's affecting me with great thought. Admittedly, if when I was three my parents disappeared instead of Jacob, I would be very upset and probably feel unloved and unwanted, as would any child. And that's where I compare how I would react to that with how I react to this. It's so, so strange. From the very pit of my heart, I feel that my reaction to my parents' disappearance would be the exact same.

Should I be concerned about that?

Probably.

I mean, my parents went through so much, especially my mother. I practically killed her and she sacrificed herself for me. My dad went through hell during the pregnancy. Whereas Jacob, well, I suppose he didn't really go through any of that. Sure, he has been there from day one and stuff, but still.

And that's when I usually got confused. How could someone who has had so little to do with my creation, someone who isn't _really_ family have such an effect on me?

At the end of the day he was my best friend, but that still didn't feel like an excuse.

"Listen, I had better go. I told mom that I would only be gone an hour." Said Seth.

"You have a curfew? Kinda early don' you think?" I asked, running my hand through my falling hair.

"No," he chuckled "moms' _finally_ cleaning out the attic and she wants my help. I don't understand why she can't wait til' next weekend and ask Charlie to help." He moaned. I playfully punched him in the arm.

"C'mon, there's nothing wrong with a little mother-son bonding time-" I began.

"Oh, just like there's nothing wrong with a little father-daughter bonding time?" he smirked. Recently I hadn't been spending much time with my parents, I'd like to say that my parents won't spend any time with _me_. But then I'd be lying. Emmett informed me a couple of days ago that he thought I was morphing into another 'phase', that's why I had been a bit distant lately.

Maybe I should explain what these 'phases' are. I used to get them quite often when I was younger but I still get them from time to time. Basically, from now and again I will feel depressed and want to be alone. I practically isolate myself from not only my family but the world around me. It makes me feel more comfortable if I drown in my own misery than make others suffer it too. But sometimes, just out of nowhere I'll slip into these phases. They could last only a few hours, or it could last weeks and maybe months. I suppose that seeing as I have nothing much to do with my life now, I can't help but fall into a phase. And of course, it's all because of Jacob. Sometimes I think "if only he knew what he was putting me through". Not that it matters now, Seth was right. I _should_ suck it up and move on, I mean it _has_ been fifteen years.

"You know I can't help it Seth, it's weird. _I'm_ weird. I don't want to have to keep suffering like this, I shouldn't have to. I should be hanging out with friends and have a boyfriend and going out partying every Friday night, that's what eighteen year olds do!" I moaned.

"Hey, you're still seventeen. You're not quite there yet kiddo." He reminded me. I rolled my eyes and let out a long sigh whilst staring behind him at the trees.

"So? Does a couple of days before my birthday _really_ matter?" I said, slumping my shoulders in a child-like way. Seth grinned.

"Sorta, and speaking of birthdays, what is it that you want for yours?" he asked. Birthdays had become less and less interesting as the years had gone by. Sure, I appreciated all my gifts but I never had the full satisfaction with the day itself. For a long few seconds, I stared at Seth and at the air that surrounded his thick black hair.

Before I could reply, I moved forward and threw my arms around him. As I nuzzled my face into his chest, I felt the tears as they leaked from my eyes. Within a second, his arms were wrapped around me.

"I want my life to be happy. I don't want to feel this way anymore and I just- I just want him ba-ack." I began to choke on my tears and Seth raised his hand to stroke my hair.

"It's okay," he hushed me "c'mon Ness-" and immediately his body stiffened. This was a perfect example of Seth not being careful with what he says. Since Jacob, no one dared to call me 'Ness' or 'Nessie'. Not because I didn't like the name, but because that was my name from _him_.

Seth pulled me out of his chest and gripped my shoulders.

"Renesmee I am so, _so_ sorry. I didn't mean it, I wasn't thinking-"

"Shh," I ordered him "It's okay." Of course I was lying, it _wasn't_ okay.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, now go on. You should get going, you've got to clean out the attic, remember?" I was trying to smile through the tears, but it was making my eyes sting. Seth released me and rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. Before he could slap himself round his face, I grabbed his hands.

"Seth, look it doesn't matter. Just go home and tell your mom I said hi." I ordered him. There were a few seconds of silence before he gave up and pulled me into him again.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly "feel free to punch me in the face."

I lifted my hand and slowly punched him in the face, effortlessly.

"There. Now you can stop killing yourself over it." I insisted.

"Okay, I'll see you around Renesmee. Be good." He patted my arm twice and turned to run away from me.

"You too." I said quietly, even though I knew he could still hear me. When I knew he was too far away to hear me, my restraint on holding back my tears loosened and they fell in buckets from my eyes.

Poor Seth, I knew he didn't mean it. I just wished that I wasn't such a pain in the butt over everything. He wasn't the only one who felt awkward around me; my whole family felt the same. Sometimes even _I_ felt awkward in my own presence. There had been times in the past where I had absent-mindedly upset myself through just reminiscing.

For the Christmas of the December when Jacob left, I had made him a little scrap book during the small amounts of time he wasn't there. But he didn't make it to Christmas, so I kept the book, using it for my own reasons.

As rain clouds grew darker overhead, I turned back and slowly walked back to my house. This forest always put a smile on my face, especially when it rained. The refreshing scent that softly skimmed the air and the rustling of leaves and twigs beneath my feet were like a sweet lullaby. Birds still sang loud below the storm clouds and above the forest floor where a two legged predator walked with her hands firmly in her pockets and her mind away engrossed in thought.

I changed my direction; instead of going to my second home I decided to go to my first, which was my parents' cottage. As a child I had lived there, but as I grew up I began to feel as if I was living too close to my parents. Closer than what I should, so I was offered a bedroom in the main house.

The cosy cottage wasn't far from where I had changed my direction and soon enough I could see smoke softly lurk near the tops of trees. By now, my father would've known I was coming, he would be able to hear my thoughts becoming louder the closer I got.

I gently opened the front door of the small cottage. Even though I once lived here and this was my parent's home, I still felt slightly awkward about just walking in.

"Mom?" I called as I closed the door behind me. Instantly, my mother, Bella was stood in front of me.

"Renesmee, what are you doing here?" she asked, staring at me wide-eyed. I laughed quietly as I walked towards her.

"I'm your daughter; I _am_ allowed in here, aren't I?" I asked. "I wasn't _interrupting_ anything was I?"

Bella laughed and almost mirrored my stance with her hands in her pockets.

"No, of course you're allowed here. It's just, you _don't_ usually come here." She explained. I suppose I should hate how alike my mom and I were, but I didn't, I actually liked it. We understood each other. Sometimes I thought that maybe she knew _more_ about me than Edward did, and _he_ could read my thoughts.

"I know, and I'm sorry." I said, lowering my head to look at my feet.

"Why are you apologising? You have nothing to be sorry for." She insisted. I knew that, but I still felt I needed to apologise for the way I frequently behaved.

"Yes I do, mom. Look at the way I was last week, I barely spoke to you and dad, or _anyone_." I could feel myself wanted to get angry and walk away. Before I could, Bella came towards me and held my face.

"Hey, listen to me, _everything_ that has upset you and the way you behave is _not_ your fault Renesmee, remember that." She insisted and kissed my head "I don't care how you behave because I _know_ my little girl is in there and she is crying her heart out behind the anger and tantrums." I smiled softly at her and the lump in my throat formed.

"Thanks mom, and I wanna say sorry for, y'know, _future references_." I said as she took her hands from my face.

"Renesmee, to what do we owe this honour?" Edward asked as he joined Bella from behind.

"I think she might be ill, she never comes and visits us." Bella joked. I laughed quietly and rolled my eyes,

"Oh please, no, stop before the guilt crushes me." I said sarcastically "I'm just coming to see my parents, is that so strange? – well, as long as we exclude last week and various other weeks of my life."

"You know you're _always_ welcome here." Edward said.

I went forward and hugged Edward, knowing that he was expecting a greeting at some point. Generally it wasn't until I hugged my parents where I realised how different our body temperatures were. However, the icy embraces were something I had grown used to. As I stepped away from my dad I walked forward to the living room.

The fire was burning brightly inside the stone fireplace and one big, cushiony couch sitting in front of it.

"I just saw Seth." I told them as I leaned against the back of the couch.

"Yes, I heard," Edward smirked. Bella rolled her eyes and looked at him.

"Well _I_ didn't," she snapped and then turned back to me "how is he?"

"Oh he's fine, same old same old. But he did say something that particularly caught my attention," I said as I pushed myself up to sit on the back of the couch. Bella still stared at me in wonder and Edward looked almost sympathetic. Of course _he_ knew what the interesting thing was.

"What did he say?" asked Bella.

"Apparently, Sam came back a couple of weeks ago." I said with a small hopeful smile on my face.

I think I was still on my own, Bella, Edward _and_ Seth had had equal reactions to _my_ reaction. I suddenly have hope that Jacob will jump out from behind a bush now after all these years. And everyone else seems to have completely different views.

"Er, Renesmee. Look, I can understand _why_ you're thinking what you are. But-" Bella started, but Edward could tell it was hard for her too so he stepped in.

"_But_ as great and surprising it is that Sam has returned, we think it would better if you didn't hold your breath for Jacob. Just because Sam came back _doesn't_ mean that Jacob will. We have no proof that Jacob left with Sam-"

"Of _course_ we have proof," I snapped "they both disappeared on the same night and have been gone ever since; there's no way that can just be a coincidence."

"Renesmee we know that the past fifteen years have been difficult for you, it's been difficult for all of us," said Bella as she gracefully strode towards me "but you _need_ to move on. Look at it this way, what if Jacob _never_ comes back? Are you just going to live your life like this, in hope?" she asked, standing right in front of me.

I stared at her in silence for a couple of seconds and then jumped off the couch.

"So _you_ two think that I should just erase him from my mind too?" I demanded.

"We don't- wait, _too_? Who else thought it?"

"Seth did." I mumbled. The three of us stood in silence for about a minute or so. Then Bella turned to Edward,

"Edward, do you think we should tell her, about Jacob?" she said quietly, but not so quiet that I couldn't hear it.

"What about Jacob? What's happened?" I interrupted. Both of them ignore me and started their own conversation.

"No, I don't think it will be necessary." He said walking towards us.

"But she has the right to know."

"Yes, but she may not _need_ to know, in fact I think it will be better for her if she doesn't. It's been difficult enough for her already; this would just make things, _complicated_."

"But Edward-"

"Yes, love, I _know _why you want to tell her but I'm afraid that by opening one door you're closing many others. Remember, by doing what we've done, we're trying to _help_ her move on." He insisted.

I watched them both and listened as my mind tried to figure out what this conversation was _actually_ about.

"What have you done?" I asked, not expecting an answer. However, it turned out that to them I had returned in the room.

"I suppose, we're kinda _glad_ that you stopped by Renesmee," said Bella "there's something that we need to tell you and it's going to change quite a lot of things for you."

Her words were starting to scare me.

"Are we moving?" I asked, and in my mind I was crossing my fingers that we weren't.

"No," Edward chuckled "We're not moving. We've enrolled you actually, to attend the senior year of Forks High School."

I couldn't really gather what he had just told me. Their 'Jacob Rehab' for me, was going to be _sending me to school_.

"W-what?" I stuttered.

"It's not because we doubt your intelligence Renesmee, or _anything_ like that as you know. We're doing it more or less for you to start socialising again, make friends." Said Bella. I couldn't help but feel physically sick, they were sending me to school to _socialise_. Wasn't socialising one of the few things people were expelled for? – I suppose _my_ excuse wasn't exactly 'socialising'.

I had been to school once before and was expelled about a semester in. I shouldn't have been expelled seeing as the teacher _accused_ me of using inappropriate behaviour on school site. I was the victim in that battle, the teachers just couldn't be bothered to question us thoroughly, so they kicked us out instead. I usually excluded that from my life story, it wasn't something that I was particularly proud of, or something that has had a large effect on my life. This would still be new to me though. Last time I was a sophomore, this time I would be senior, meaning more work and more responsibility. Oh the joys of being Renesmee Cullen.


	3. New Leaf

**NEW LEAF**

IT WAS A DULL TUESDAY MORNING. I WOKE TO THE SOUND OF THE RAIN hitting the window as usual. So this was it, the day I'd been dreading since last week. There were odd spots of sun yesterday, so I wasn't sent into school. For the past week I had nagged my parents to reconsider, but obviously – I had wasted my time.

There were many things that I found difficult at school, one of them being gym. It was hard to constantly make up excuses as to why I couldn't do it.

Maybe this time I could make up a permanent excuse. I have weak knees?

Last time I played these sports I ended up killing various pet cats I had? I'm crap at sports? – Of course, none of those pathetic excuses were actually true. I suppose I was pretty good at sports, I just wasn't used to playing them with normal people. I hadn't quite grasped how to play sport non-competitively.

To play sports with my family I had to up my game, _a lot_, I could be non-competitive with my family if I wanted to but I was screwed if I did.

Last time I went to school, I mainly pretended to be ill, it was something I could do convincingly.

Maybe I should explain my past schooling with a bit more detail. I try to ignore those months of my life where I had been to school because I was sort of ashamed. My parents weren't very happy with me at all, until they realised that in the situation I was actually the victim.

At the time, I was eleven and I looked not much different from what I do now, if at all. Because my parents had planned for me to stay there longer than what I actually did, they enrolled me as a sophomore. Whereas this time, I was enrolling as a senior, I could no longer fool someone into thinking I was younger than I looked.

Admittedly, those months were sort of fun. I was sent to a private school that time, never again will I step foot into a private school. The only thing that was fun about that place was the times I was with Will (my first boyfriend). His real name was Wilfred but he hated that name and insisted that I called him Will, so I did. The first couple of months I dated him were kinda fun. He thought similarly to me and so we used to sneak out of our strictest lessons. Math was the worst one and English was pretty bad too. On the odd occasion, we would get caught so as the weeks went on we devised safer hide outs.

But there was one time, the _last_ time, where everything went too far.

Bearing in mind that at the time, I was eleven and Will had recently turned seventeen. But of course as far as Will was concerned, I was sixteen and soon to be seventeen. From now and again as well as messing around like friends in these hide outs, we also did some stuff that couples are meant to do. Sometimes we would sit there and make out, other times we would just lie holding each other.

I suppose in some way, it's all very sweet but it quickly got ugly (to me it did anyway).

At this private school, we had to wear uniform. The girls would have to wear skirts and the boys would wear pants.

In the past, whenever Will and I had made out before, he _had_ touched me, but not inappropriately. He had only ever touched my hand, my face or my calves, until that day. As we made out in a humid, overcast summer afternoon his hand fell onto my leg. At first I didn't mind because it was his usual spot, until his hand began to move slowly up my leg. I started to become a bit hesitant with my kisses as his hand was half way up my thighs. It wasn't until he hooked one of his fingers around my panties where I finally backed away.

The worst part was that even though I was backing away from him, his hand still had a grasp of my underwear. As I started kicking up a fuss, a teacher found us but didn't frown upon him like I had hoped.

We were _both_ expelled from school that afternoon. Traditionally speaking, Will should have been accused of rape, _I_ accused him of rape, sort of – in my mind. I always wished he had known that he was trying to rip the underwear off an eleven year old girl.

I had to restrain Edward, well, _everyone_ did. He was furious and I'm surprised that Will still walks this earth. I haven't had a boyfriend ever since and I have sympathy for whoever my next boyfriend will be. _If_ I get one with the extra layer of protection I have been covered with by my dad.

I looked over at my clock; it was five in the morning. There were still- Two hours left until I _had_ to get up, but lying in bed bores me so I chose to get up there and then. I walked over to my wardrobe. I opened the door, and inside of it in the middle of walls filled with shoes, clothes and other accessories was a chair with an outfit laid out on it. Alice had come in whilst I was sleeping and picked out my outfit for the day. How nice of her. Looks like my day won't be so bad.

I got ready and was done by seven – thirty. Record. I skipped down stairs to find Edward sitting on the white leather couch, swinging his car keys round his finger.

"Ready?" he asked as I approached him from behind.

"Yeah, I guess" I replied.

"Well, you'll need a bag to put your school books in, and you'll need your cell phone in case you feel the urge to get expelled" he smirked. I was hoping that last bit was a joke.

"Renesmee, I have a lot more faith in you than that, now come on you're going to be late otherwise" urged Edward, and within a fraction of a second he was gone, with the front door left open behind him, I quickly followed him.

The journey to school was slow and miserable, I didn't want to go to school, and Edward just had to make it a whole lot worse by driving me to school. How many students there are going to have their parents drive them to school? One – me.

We drove past the sign that welcomed us to Forks and I knew I was close to hell.

"You've been extremely quiet, is everything okay?" Edward asked. I wanted to say no and he knew it. It wasn't as if I had had good experiences with schools.

"Dad, why do you hate me?" I moaned as I sunk further into my chair. Edward quietly chuckled to himself.

"Listen, Renesmee I know that _last time_, school didn't turn out so good for you. But this time, I'm sure you will be fine. I've been to this school before and I can assure you that even though it's public, it's still safe." He reached over and stroked my hair.

"If _anything_ happens, it's on your conscience." I stated as I began to pick at my jeans.

"I think I have _enough_ of you on my conscience at the moment Renesmee Cullen." he chuckled. I was silent for a while before I threw another conversation into the car.

"Ok, so let's say that at this school I meet a boy-" I began but he interrupted me.

"Ok and let's just say that after last time, you can wait for a boy. A _long_ wait." He insisted. I threw myself back into the chair again.

"But dad, _that_ wasn't my fault. And besides, I've learnt my lesson now. Will was a perfect example of what to avoid like hell." I assured him, but he wasn't having it.

"No." he said simply.

"But-"

"No."

"Dad-"

"No."

"Oh c'mon-"

"Renesmee, I'm going to keep saying no so you might as well give up." He insisted. I glared at him from my seat. But his method worked, I didn't bother asking him again.

_I only wanted someone to play with_, I thought. Edward sighed loudly.

"Right, I think you should keep a distance from Emmet for a few weeks. You _know _I'm not comfortable with _him_ thinking things like that, let alone you." He said as I grinned quietly to myself and sat quietly for the rest of the journey.

"Now, when you get there all you need to do, is to go to the office and the lady there will tell you everything, okay?"

I could see why he'd chosen now to tell me that, the school was only a minute or so away, I began to feel a little sick.

We pulled up outside the school, Edward pointed out where the front doors were

"The front doors are right there, I'll pick you up after school."

"If I _last_ that long."

Edward just sighed and kissed the side of my head.

I got out. His car lingered behind me for a while as I walked round it and headed into the school's parking lot and I heard him drive away.

I had suddenly stepped into the unknown. My father was no longer with me and I was on my own in this place. Of course, school wasn't completely alien to me, but I was alien to this school and its students. I wasn't sure whether to stare at the ground or to watch my surroundings as they stared at me and took double-takes mid-way through their conversations.

There were a group of girls who seemed very close who stood next to the steps that led up to the school. They watched me silently as I walked, I caught their eyes once then looked away and tried not to look back. As I tried to walk the same pace as the others, they slowed down and watched me as I passed them.

Around the trees stood a couple of guys, one had mousey brown hair and had a Forks High School sports bag flung over his shoulder. His friend had dark mahogany hair and gently leaned back against a tree trunk with his hands deep in his pockets. The rhythm of his gum chewing slowed as I caught his eye. Soon the rolling white gum was visible as he smiled at me whilst chewing. I would've smiled back, but his smile didn't seem like the nice, welcoming smile. It was more along the lines of a "Hey baby…" smile.

I looked away so sharply that I nearly gave myself whiplash and made a mental note to _not_ wear a skirt to school, _ever_.

I hadn't quite decided whether or not this was a good start or a bad one. I myself wasn't a huge fan of attention, which was something I had gained from my mother. A person staring at me was almost a phobia, and there was no way of denying to myself that I was different from other students. Therefore I would have to face the stares for a few weeks to come.

Admittedly, the school hallways weren't much different. The only thing that made it bearable was the cramped space where I was able to hide behind other people, but those people were staring at me too. I looked at my reflection on a couple of glossy boards on the walls I passed, just to make sure I hadn't turned alien green or grown a beard. Just to make sure that there wasn't _actually_ anything wrong with me.

It took a long journey to get there, but I finally found the main office. I pushed out of the crowds and squeezed into the small office.

A small, middle aged woman with tight strawberry blonde curls sat at the front desk, engrossed in paper work. I straightened myself out and walked casually up to the desk. As I approached her, I noticed the sweet silver locket that clung to her chubby neck, I also noticed the heavy amount of eye shadow that weighed down her eyelids.

As I approached the desk I gently laid the tips of my fingers on the edge of the desk, and she noticed the movement straight away.

"Hello, can I help you?" she asked with a small smile.

"Hi, my name's Renesmee Cullen. My-" I began but she interrupted me.

"Ah yes, Miss Cullen. We've been expecting you, we were _actually_ expecting you yesterday but you didn't show." She lowed her tone on 'show', expecting an explanation.

"Erm, yeah, well y'see I had a horrible migraine yesterday." I lied "And I could barely get out of bed without throwing up, but I'm better today."

Great, I had been in this school for five minutes and _already_ I had starting playing my lies and excuses cards.

"I see. Not a very good way to start at a new school, Miss Cullen." She warned me, raising one eyebrow. I threw her an apologetic smile. It was only one day, it _didn't_ really matter too much. Besides, it was only going to happen on sunny days.

"But, anyway, I suppose it doesn't matter. I suppose it was only _one_ day after all." She smiled happily, as if she had never had a problem with it in the first place. For a split second I stared at her with suspicion. That was weird.

But before I could push the subject, she placed a schedule in front of me and a map of the school. She started pointing to various places on the map, but she was talking very fast. I suppose she just wanted me out of the way. When she was done, I took the papers and thanked her whilst hurrying out the office door.

As I ran through the doors I hit something, some_one_. The map flew out of my hand and we managed to rip my class schedule half way through the middle.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I said automatically as I picked up my map from the floor.

"No, no it's my fault. I should be more careful opening this door." Insisted the boy I hit. I laughed lightly

"_Or_ we can blame the school by insisting that they shouldn't have doors that open _out_ into the hallway?" I suggested. He smiled widely.

"So you must be the new comer? Fresh bait? " he said as we pinned our selves along the wall of the hallway.

I wasn't sure whether to take being referred to as 'fresh bait' as an insult or not. But then I had to remember why I was here – to make friends, not enemies. So I took it in my stride and laughed it off.

"Yeah, that would be me." I smiled, he held out his hand.

"I'm Eli by the way." I finally managed to make a hand free to shake it.

"I'm Renesmee." I said quite happily.

"_Renesmee_, wow. That's a mouthful and a half." He laughed. I smiled and the bell rang. It had only just occurred to me that I was still completely oblivious to what lesson and room I had next.

"Would you like me to be your tour guide?" asked Eli. I looked at him and noticed a couple of people glance over at me as they passed. Usually I liked to explore places at my own pace, that way I learned them easier. But right now I had a tight schedule to stick to, so I suppose Eli was my only hope.

"That would be great. But only if you really don't mind." I insisted but he brushed my words away with his hand.

"Don't worry about it, we were all new once. Let's see what you have first." He said taking the schedule from my hands. With a few attempts, he managed to just about seal the rip together with his hands.

"Okay, chemistry, room two one three. Well, I'm a pro with this route." Eli smirked.

"Really?"

He nodded.

"Yep, 'cause I'm there next."

There was a sudden flutter of relief that filled my stomach.

"Oh thank God, I'm glad I'll know _someone_ now." I sighed with relief. Eli gestured his hand forward for us to join the crowd, and we walked.

As Eli walked a little in front of me, I briefly began to evaluate his physical appearance. There was an odd look about him. His looks weren't quite manly but neither were they that boyish. He was part way. A _teenager_ I guess. His chestnut hair was short but rough, not very spiky but not very flat either. He walked straight, which seemed pretty good considering the backpack he carried looked like it weighed a tonne.

He slowed his pace and turned his head to me.

"So," he began "where you from?"

"Er, Forks?" I said with an obvious tone. He laughed quietly.

"No I mean _school_, what school are you from?"

"Oh," I said "well, I was more or less home schooled, really."

He was quiet for a couple of seconds and glanced at me a few times.

"_Seriously_? You've never been to school before?" he said as we dodged a few people who had slowed their pace to a stop.

"Well, yeah. Is that strange?" I asked with an unsure tone. Eli began to shake his head.

"No of course it's not, like I said, we were all new at one point, right?" he said.

"Right." I repeated.

The Chemistry class was only half full by the time we got there. There was an empty desk next to the window that Eli led me to.

"Oh, just so you know. Although you're lucky to have me in this class – you didn't strike lucky with the teacher." He said as I perched myself on the chair.

"What do you mean?"

"We've got Carble. She's probably the sliest teacher here – _don't_ tick her off, cos' she _will_ fail you."

"Great." I sighed. Eli smiled and sat on the spare seat next to me.

The class fell silent.

"Mr Warner, since _when_ do you sit there?" said a voice from the front. I looked round to find that the teacher had arrived. She was tall with short silver hair and rectangular glasses. So _that_ was Carble.

"Sorry." Eli mumbled and walked to a seat near the door.

Carble pursed her lips as she watched Eli return to his seat, then she looked at me.

"And who is this?" she asked. I sat up straight.

"I'm Re-"

"Ah yes, you must be Resmee?"

"It's Renes-_may_. Renesmee." I corrected her. Eli shot me a look as if I had just slapped the devil in the face. Clearly I had.

"Yes, well. _Renesmee_, you'd do well in my class to _not_ try and appear smarter than the teacher."

What was _her_ problem?

What was wrong with correcting her on the pronunciation of my _name_?

I wanted to argue back, but managed to hold my tongue. She didn't look happy –at all.

Things I have achieved today:

Be stared at by the entire school.

Being accused to having a bad start – then not?

Making my chemistry teacher hate my guts, three minutes into the class.

Yes, today is gonna be a good day.

Chemistry was slow but tense. I didn't say another word the whole lesson. Even when Carble asked questions that no one else knew the answer to except me, I stayed quiet. It irritated and worried me that maybe this was how it would be for the rest of the year. Carble made me feel like she would fail me if I spoke I word – she made me feel like she would fail me, even if I didn't speak.

I was doomed for this class.

I tried to stay optimistic as the bell rang for the end of class. I had art next and that was something that I couldn't hate. I loved art. I had loads of books full of my doodles and drawings at home. It was the one lesson that required very little thought.

As the other students quickly whooshed out the class, Eli joined me at my desk.

"See what I mean?" he said, handing me a book to put in my bag.

I sighed. "I was expecting a human being to be teaching this lesson, not Godzilla. I didn't realise that she would be _that_ bad."

"Yeah, well, Carble has a way of surprising a lot of people. But don't worry about it."

I did what he said as we left the room.

"So what've you got next?" he asked.

"Art."

"Okay – follow me."

Eli left me in the art haven he had walked me to. There were canvases everywhere, some used, some blank and I had a painful urge to fill those blank canvases. I spoke to the teacher, Miss Mary-Tate, who set me up with an easel and canvas. She was _a lot _nicer than Carble, but then again, so was anyone I guess.

She had stood me next to a girl with red curly hair. Her hair was _beautiful_. I loved it. I _wanted_ it. She was quite a pretty girl too with average posture.

As I set my things up, she noticed me.

"Oh, hi. You must be this 'new girl' I keep hearing about." She smiled.

"Yeah, that would be me. I'm Renesmee." I held out my hand.

"Hi, I'm Abi." She shook it. She smiled a friendly smile and suddenly, I had a good feeling about her.

Miss Mary-Tate had assigned us a personal task of painting from memory our most desired place – whether that be real or made up. My favourite place was the forest, but I knew it would be pretty boring to paint. So I chose my second favourite- the river. It had been my favourite place to be when Jake was still here. I used to swim in there a lot. But since he disappeared, I never went back. It had a wonderful view of the forest and mountains. It always looked particularly nice on summer afternoons just after a rainstorm.

The class was away in talk and creativity when Abi spoke again.

"So, how do you like Forks High so far?"

"Honestly – not too good. I had Carble for chemistry, she doesn't make a too good impression." I said, with a smirk.

"Ooh, sorry about that. I had her last year, she's tough work. I swear she still glares at me when she passes me in the halls." She laughed.

"Ouch." I laughed.

"But you're getting around okay, right?"

"Yeah, another student is helping me out."

"Cool, who?"

"Eli Warner."

Her face lit up.

"_Eli_'s helping you?" I nodded and she smiled. "Oh _trust_ me, you're in good hands. Eli is great."

"So, you know him pretty well then huh?"

"Pfft, _yeah_. I've only known him since, _forever_. We've been neighbours since we were like two. He's a really good friend of mine."

I couldn't help but feel that maybe there was a little bit more to their relationship than just friendship. Abi looked at me and could see this in my face.

"Oh, but there's nothing like _that_ going on. Eli is just a really close friend of mine – you should hang with us at lunch." She smiled. My day suddenly just got better.

"OK." I smiled and turned back to my work.

Art annoyingly passed quickly, meaning that I had to leave Abi. We had really got to know each other throughout the class and she seemed like a really nice person – potential friend.

At the end of class we said goodbye and agreed to meet in the cafeteria at lunch. Unfortunately, I had a lot to go through until lunch came around, but hopefully it would pass quickly and I could see Abi and Eli again.


	4. A Cullen Present

**I'd just like to say thank you to all of those who have reviewed, added this to story alerts and added it as their favourite story - it's feedback like that that keeps me editing and posting! Keep the reviews coming, and if there's anything you'd like to see in the story - let me know, i'll see if i could squeeze them in :)**

**Thanks again! X**

**P.S. This chapter is a bit shorter than the other two - primarily because the next chapter is longer and I didn't want to squash them all together with this chapter.**

**A CULLEN PRESENT**

OKAY, SO I WAS WRONG – THE OTHER LESSONS WEREN'T TOO BAD.

Sufferable, I suppose. English had been straight forward reading, something that didn't particularly bother me. Ancient History was as interesting as history could get. But I hadn't made any new friends. I had caught a few eyes and exchanged a few friendly smiles, but that was all. History was just before lunch, so Eli was waiting for me outside to escort me to the cafeteria where –hopefully – Abi would be waiting too.

I knew well that I wouldn't be eating lunch. I also, kind of knew that I would be questioned about it. Bring on the excuses.

As expected, Eli had pinned himself against the wall outside as other students hurried to the cafeteria.

"Fun class?" he asked as we joined the stampede.

"As good as it's ever gonna get I guess."

Eli subtly put one hand on my waist, trying to guide me through the crowd.

"Well, you can have a well deserved break. Lunchtime!" he laughed.

The cafeteria was already filling up when we got there and the line for food was out the door. Down the line, I saw Abi turn around and wave to us.

"Oh, hey – it's Abi. You know her?" he asked.

"Yes, she's in my art class."

"Awesome." He nodded, pulling me over there.

"Hey you two, I was worried you wouldn't see me."

"Trust me, with hair as nice as yours – you're difficult to miss." I smiled at her.

"Aw, you're too sweet. But out of the two of us – I think we know who has nicer hair." She twirled one of curls around her finger.

Eli shoved a hand in his pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill. "Hey, Ab – could you get me a ham sandwich, I'll go and get us a table." He said, handing her the money.

"Sure, what can I get for you Renesmee? –it's on the house, seeing as it's your first day."

Crap… excuses… excuses…excuses?

"No that's okay, thanks – I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure, I seriously don't mind-"

"No, no I'm fine. Thank you. We'll see you in a bit."

Abi was silent for a moment. "Okay then."

Eli and I walked around the full tables trying to find a free one. Eventually, Eli stopped.

"Well, it doesn't look like there's any free."

Just as he said that. I noticed an empty table in the far corner of the cafeteria.

"What about that one?" I said, pointing to the table. Eli followed my finger to the empty table and his face fell.

"Erm, no. Not that one. Don't worry – look, they look like they're about to leave."

I laughed nervously. "Eli, they just got here. C'mon."

I pulled him over to the table. As we got closer, he began to pull back. I stopped at the nearest chair.

"Eli, what is your problem?" I asked, crossing my arms. A few people at the closer tables took a few glances at us.

"_Nothing_." He argued. "I just think there are better places for us to sit."

I glanced behind him to the rest of the cafeteria. Now, _this_ was the only free table and I was starting to find it a little strange.

"Eli-" I said, quietly. "is there something _wrong_ with this table?"

He blinked. "Pfft, _no_."

"Eli." I shot him a stern look. I knew when people were lying to me, and it _didn't_ impress me when they did.

"Ok _maybe _there's just a little tale or two that goes around in the school about-"

"-About _this_ table?" I asked.

He nodded. I wanted to laugh but people seemed to genuinely dislike that table.

"Why? – What is it?"

"That's where _they_ sat." he said quickly.

"Who?"

"The-" he paused. "_Cullens_."

What the-

Without even thinking, I started laughing – louder than what I expected.

"Are you _serious_?" I laughed.

"Trust me, if you knew the story – you wouldn't be laughing."

"Oh now _this_ should be entertaining. What is this _urban legend_ then?"

Eli took a deep breath.

"Okay, but it's just a story-"

"Then why are you taking it so seriously?"

"I'm _not_. I suppose that maybe the people who told the story first were just – very convincing." He paused "Basically, there used to be a family that sat there- the Cullen family. They kept to themselves, which was fair enough. But wouldn't _you_ find it suspicious that a group who keep to themselves suddenly take a liking to a new girl? – then they graduate and after a few months, she's never seen again."

So – he was talking about my _mom_?

I just stared at him.

"I'm just saying _new girl_, don't be too jumpy to sit there."

"Okay, so you're telling me that _if_ I sit here – I will be haunted by the Cullen clan for the rest of my life but in a few months I'll go missing because I'm that _new girl_?"

Eli shrugged.

"Some stories are believable."

I scoffed, "Yeah, and some stories are a load of bull."

I pulled a chair out from the 'forbidden Cullen table' and sat down. People and turned around and stared at me for a while.

"Renesmee, I wouldn't-"

"Eli, do you even _know_ who I am?" I asked. He was silent for a moment – probably trying to decided whether it was a trick question or not.

"Er, Renesmee?" he said.

"Okay- I'm gonna let you in on a little secret of mine." I fingered him to come closer and he did. As he bent down for me to whisper in his ear, I grabbed him shirt and sat him down in front of me.

"I _am_ a Cullen. Renesmee Carlie Cullen – pleasure to meet you." I smirked and sat back in my chair.

"_What_? You're a Cullen, seriously?" he asked.

I nodded. "Oh and that _new girl_ you're on about – that's my mom and I can assure you that she is alive and well." Technically.

Abi swerved between the tables with a blue tray, staring in horror at the two of us.

"_Eli,_ why did you bring Renesmee over here?" she snapped. Eli turned in his chair.

"Abs, cool it. She's a Cullen, we have a pass to sit here." He smirked. Abi looked at me, then looked back at Eli.

"You never _told_ me that you were a _Cullen_." She said warily, placing the tray on the table. I shrugged.

"You never asked."

Cautiously, Abi sat down at the table, watching the others nearby watch her sit down.

"Are you _really_ a Cullen, or did you just want to sit down here?" questioned Eli. I reached in my bag and pulled out my purse, showing him my driver's licence.

"Yep – she's a Cullen alright." Eli slumped back in his chair. "Wow."

"What morons came up with _that_ ghost tale?" I snorted.

"Dunno, maybe it was just some scary story told to freshmans that carried on over the years." Suggested Abi. It made sense, as pointless and immature as it was – it made sense.

After the news of the day, Eli and Abi settled down and ate their lunch. The looks and glares from other students died down pretty quickly – they must have felt like such idiots for believing that story. As Abi and Eli had their own little conversation, I noticed someone heading our way. A light haired girl in a short white dress and pale pink shoes was approaching our table. I was expecting to ask us what the hell we were sitting here for.

"Abi – how far have you got on our Math project?" she asked lingering just behind Abi's seat.

"Y'know I'm starting to feel like it's more _my_ project right now, considering that you don't even attempt to do any work on it."

"Hmm, let me see – would doing work for it require effort?"

"Duh?"

"Well then, I'm obviously not gonna do any work, _duh_?"

She shot a glare at Abi and then looked over to me.

"Oh, _new girl_. So _you're_ the one I keep hearing about?" she looked me up and down almost in disgust.

"Oh, you. So _you're_ the one the boys have to get check out about?" I smiled innocently as Eli started to chock on his drink.

She pursed her lips and looked me over again. The she leant across the table to me.

"Listen, people who piss me off, don't last long here."

I laughed, coldly. "And _you_ listen, people who piss _me_ off, don't last long – full stop."

Whatever she threw at me, I was pretty confident I could throw back better. She narrowed her eyes at me as she slid off the table like a snake.

"So, project Abi – get it done." She demanded, taking one last glare at me and then walking away. I suddenly felt like she was going to make my life a little more interesting.

"Who _was_ that?" I asked.

"Jacey." Abi said blankly. "Everyone hates her, but only a few have the balls to admit it. And only _one_ has the balls to threaten her."

"Who?"

"_You_."

"_Me_?"

"No one has _ever_ threatened her before, maybe you could be the start of a new era?"

"Or maybe she just needs to be put in her designated place." I insisted.

For the rest of lunch I couldn't help but think about Jacey and her rudeness. It irritated me how she thought she was the queen bee, even of the people who definitely thought that she wasn't.

Things I had achieved today:

Be stared at by the entire school.

Being accused to having a bad start – then not?

Making my chemistry teacher hate my guts, three minutes into the class.

Made two new friends

Cleared my family's name – sort of.

Made a potential enemy.

When will today end?

**Thanks for reading this chapter - review! :) hope you enjoyed it, i'll be updating soon x**


	5. Long Time, No See

**Sorry this chapter took a while, I was in London with my birthday and with friends around my birthday so I've kind of been a bit stumped for updating. Sorry about that, but I'm back now. Again, thanks to those who are commenting, please keep them coming :D**

**LONG TIME, NO SEE **

AFTERNOON CLASSES HAD BEEN PRETTY DULL. MY LAST CLASS OF THE DAY was physics but luckily I had Abi to join me in that one. Also, unlike Chemistry, our teacher wasn't a demon..

"So, got much planned for this evening?" asked Abi after class ended and we filled our bags with books.

"Not really, just sit around and wait for tomorrow."

"I hear that." She laughed, zipping her bag. "I have to do this damn project for Jacey."

"Why do you let her boss you around?" I asked as we left the classroom.

Abi sighed, "I try not to – she's just a tough piece of work. You'll come to learn that soon enough, trust me."

"I think I'm already part way there."

She smiled, "Yeah, but here's a word of advice – don't let her get to you. If you let her get to you or _show_ her that she's getting to you then you make her stronger and give her more power that she doesn't need. But you seem like a pretty tough girl, Renesmee – don't let yourself down. Don't do what so many of us _have_ done." She insisted.

Outside, the parking lot was emptying except those few who lingered around their cars with friends. I envied them. I wish I could just hang out with friends, lounging on my car after school. The only car I could lounge on here was my dad's and I don't think he was too keen on that. Eli was leant against the back of his Ford, talking to a couple of guys.

Abi looked over at him too and laughed. "Look at mister 'trying to play it cool' over there."

I saw him making various gestures to sport and something profound that I didn't want to go into.

Just outside the lot was a sleek, black Maserati – Edward. I couldn't keep him waiting much longer seeing as his car was rather out of place here.

"Well, it looks like my ride is here – so I'll see you tomorrow?" I said, backing away from Abi.

"Oh sure, I'll see you soon." She smiled and waved as I walked away and she headed over to Eli. He too saw me walk away and yelled.

"See ya tomorrow, Cullen!" he yelled. Yes, _obviously_ trying to play it cool.

I got in the car. "Well, you weren't expelled, you're still alive and there's not a police car or fire truck in sight – overall I'd say that was a successful day?" said Edward as we drove away. I laughed and shook my head as the school faded away in the distance.

"So how was your first day? – I see you made a new friend?"

"That's Abi and I became friends with a guy called Eli too. They're really nice."

"Mm-hm, what about this _Jacey_ girl?"

"Damn it Dad! Couldn't you spare me just _one day_ without reading my thoughts?"

He laughed, "For your information, Renesmee, I was _actually_ intruding on your friend's mind – not your's."

"Oh, that makes me feel _so_ much better." I moaned, leaning my head against the cool window.

After a sometime of silence, we crossed into the forest.

"Did anything else happen today?" he asked.

I thought back to lunch and the Cullen table and grinned.

"Well, you managed to curse a lunch table during your time at Forks High." I grinned. Edward pulled the exact same grin.

"How so?" he asked.

"Well, we think it was maybe just some rumour told to first years that carried on throughout the years – you guys definitely made an impression."

"Go on." He laughed.

"Well, apparently you used to keep to yourselves a lot – which didn't surprise me. And then they started talking about when mom started there and suddenly you started taking a liking to her-" his face changed, but not in a way I expected. It was suddenly like he wasn't listening anymore. His face was stern and his brow creased, like he was concentrating on something pretty hard. I stopped the story. "Dad, is everything okay?"

"Shh." He put his hand up for me to stop talking and I did. He slowed the car down, but didn't quite stop it.

I couldn't tell what he was doing, except from possibly listening to someone's thoughts other than my own.

Then he sharply stopped the car, right in the middle of the road.

"Dad?-"

"Renesmee, quite." He snapped. I knew that when he said that, he didn't just mean for me to stop talking, he meant my thoughts too. I shut out my thoughts – or tried to anyway, but it was hard to do when he was starting to worry me.

Edward unplugged his seatbelt and got out of the car.

"Dad?" I called, but he slammed the door shut. He stood in the middle of the road, facing the forest on my side of the car. I watched him whilst checking both ways for any oncoming cars.

"What is he _doing_?" I whispered to myself.

He stood there for several more minutes, then turned back to the car. As he got in, I bit my tongue. I wanted to ask – but was afraid to.

We carried on down the road at an easy pace.

When he had first got back in the car the tension was insufferable – I was practically chocking on it. But now it had eased, even though neither of us had spoken a word. Once again I was resting my head on the window and watching the tress fly by like time. Then something moved behind the trees. Something big. Then something in my heart fluttered a bit.

"Dad, stop the car!" I yelled. I didn't mean for my demand to sound so pained and desperate, because I knew I had scared him when I did. As the tires screeched to a halt, I threw my door open and stepped out.

"Renesmee, come-" but I slammed the door. There was something in those trees and it was what had made my dad stop the car and get out before, now it was my turn to investigate. I couldn't say that I did much more than he did – all I did was walk closer to the trees and stare into them. Whatever was there before was gone now and it irritated me deeply.

I stood there cautiously for a few minutes, then gave up. I turned around and headed back to the car.

"Hey stranger." Said a voice behind me. I paused as I reached for the door and turned.

It was him.

It was _actually_ him.

Jacob.

I had missed his thick dark hair, his dark muscular body and that perfect smile. I must have been dreaming. He couldn't _truly_ be here.

"J-Jake?" I stuttered, feeling my eyes fill with tears.

"Ness." He said. I wanted him to move because I couldn't. I wanted him to hug me because I couldn't. And deep down, I wanted to punch him for leaving me.

I needed to touch him, to make sure he wasn't an illusion this time. I staggered forward, trying to hold myself together whilst he glided perfectly towards me. When I was face to face with him (or more like face to chest) my body completely gave way as I threw myself into him and wrapped my arms around him. My tears stained his grey t-shirt as I cried uncontrollably like I did so often in the early days of his disappearance. I never wanted to let him go. I wanted to chain him to me so that if he had to leave home, I could go with him.

"I missed you so much." I sobbed.

"I know, I missed you too – I'm so sorry." He said and cupped my wet face in his hands. "I promise, I'll _never_ leave you again. Ness – I am so, so sorry and I won't blame you if you never forgive me."

"As much as I want to hit you for what I've been through, I can't bring myself to do it." I admitted. He smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"Long time no see, Jacob." Edward said behind us.

"I'm sorry I left like that." Said Jacob. "Things have been – _difficult_."

A new question sparked in my head then – _why did he leave_?

I heard Edward's footsteps come closer behind us.

"I wish to have a word with you about this at some point, Jacob. But right now, I think my daughter wants to be with you more." I caught his eye and smiled at him with a smile that I hadn't shown in fifteen years. Then I mouthed 'Thank you' to him.

He nodded. "Have her back safely wont you Jacob." He said, turning back to the Maserati.

"Will do, don't you worry."

We watched as my father continued down the road home, then I turned back to Jake.

It had been so long that I was speechless now. For so long I had wished and dreamed for the day when Jake came back – now it had happened. He too looked lost for words

"You haven't changed at all."I finally said, starting to look him over. He laughed.

"I wish I could say the same about you." He grinned and stepped back, twirling me under his arm as he said "Look at you – all grown up. Not the little Nessie I'm used to."

"Nope, all grown up now. High school, driver's licence, bras and everything." I giggled. I then realised that we were still standing in the middle of the road. "As much as I love the middle of the road, I don't think it's the safest place for a reunion."

"True, c'mon lets go." Jake took my hand and guided me into the forest.

Okay, so I'd most probably fell asleep in one of my classes and was dreaming all this right now – but I was _still_ dreaming. I'd had dreams like this before, except not quite this vivid.

"OK, I'll be the first to ask – what the hell was _so_ important that you had to leave without saying goodbye? – leaving me,_ us_, thinking that you were dead or kidnapped?" I asked as we strolled leisurely through the trees.

"I was hoping you weren't gonna ask that – obviously I was an idiot for hoping that." He said and took a deep breath. "Strictly speaking, I shouldn't tell anyone this – particularly someone who isn't wolf and _particularly_ someone who is a vampire." He grinned at me. "But I suppose I do owe it to you seeing as I left without notice."

The two of us settled down at the foot of a tree and I rested my chin on my knees.

"You mustn't repeat this, okay?" he said.

"Not even to my parents."

"Not even to your parents."

"But what about my dad? – he's gonna dig through my mind anyway."

"Okay, when it comes to the unavoidable, just make sure he keeps it to himself."

"Alright."

"Good. Now, you _know_ that there's different types of werewolves, don't you?" I nodded. "Well, the traditional wolves – the full moon changers - were finally wiped to extinction about fifteen years ago, by your kind. The thing is that the whole 'existence' of werewolves can _never_ go extinct, the leading breed can only be renewed."

"The _leading breed_?"

"It's the top breed, _kind, type_. People who changed at the full moon were what people associated with werewolves. Now they've gone extinct, so the next best have to step up and be classed as werewolves now." I had sort of figured where this was going.

"So _you're_ the next best thing?"

He nodded. "Pretty much."

"But why did it take so long?"

"There's only so much I can tell you Ness before it's like spilling the entire contents of the CIA's Top Secret draws." He warned me.

"Okay, well – I'm just so happy that you're finally back." I threw myself at him for another hug.

In the distance there was a low rumble of thunder – but I didn't care that there was a storm coming. I would happily sit here in the rain, no matter how hard it poured. As long as I was with Jake, nothing else would faze me.

"Jake!"Came a distant call which sounded a lot like Seth. Far through the trees, dark figures were coming towards us.

"Jake! Where were you, man?" Embry came into view first, then Leah, then Seth and finally Quil. "We thought you'd died, _seriously_."

"Okay, you can calm down now – I'm here and I'm not dead." He smirked. I caught Seth's eye and felt slight pride as I grinned at him in triumph. After all the years I had nagged him, Seth could see that I had been right to keep hope all along.

"Jake, honestly – we're glad you're back, but don't just take off like that again, _ever_." Said Leah.

As usual, Leah ignored me. I'd managed to get everyone over in La Push to accept me, and they liked me – except from Leah. I could never figure out why she didn't like me and nobody else seem to know either. Unless they _did_ know, they just didn't want to tell me.

"I know," said Jake. "I'm sorry."

"You were with Sam, weren't you?" asked Embry, Jake nodded.

"Sam didn't tell us, we just assumed. What actually happened that night?"

"I'd just gotten home from the Cullens' and Sam was waiting for me. He told me about the others and that we needed to go – alphas only, not a word to anyone. I didn't have time to tell anyone I was leaving and obviously couldn't tell anyone where I was going – I didn't think it would take so long. I couldn't communicate with anyone outside of the union once we were there."

It hurt me thinking that there had been times over the past fifteen years where I had been sitting there alone in my room, whilst Jake had been in another part of the world - both of us wanting to say something to the other, both wanting to hear something from the other. But neither of us could. I didn't know if he was even alive and he could communicate in anyway, no phone call, no email, no text, no letter, not even a note.

"And what about the other breeds?" Seth began. Leah shot a look me and then looked back at Seth.

"We'll talk about it _later_, Seth."

"It's alright, she knows." Jake assured her.

"_What_? Jacob, she can't _know_ about this sort of stuff." Leah snapped.

"I owe her an explanation-"

"I'm sure you owe her _a lot_ of things, but you didn't need to give her _that_. I mean really only you and Sam should be aware of what has happened, we shouldn't even know."

"Do _you_ have a better explanation for a fifteen year absence?"

"I don't know- _a journey of self-discovery_? Make it up, she'll believe you anyway."

"Y'know, I'm standing right here." I finally said.

Leah looked at me, "Don't _really_ care, Cullen." Then she looked back at Jake. "Fine, but it's gonna be _your_ ass on the line for this – not ours."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take."

Leah looked back at me with a hard scowl. I was distracted when I heard something in the distance.

"Jake!" called a new voice. This one I'd recognise from anywhere – Bella. He turned round and I was right, she was standing right behind us.

"Hey B-" but before he could his sentence, she flung her arms around him with great force. Mom and I had been the worst when Jacob left. She couldn't cry – so I beat her in that sense. But for a long time she became very quiet, like me and found it hard to concentrate whilst hunting. Sometimes she found it hard to be around Seth, but I saw him as the closest thing I had to Jacob.

"You're okay!" there was a very obvious tone of surprise in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?" he asked as she released him.

She nodded.

"I can't believe that you're actually here. You've been gone for so long-"

"I know, people were on the brink of giving up on me, if they hadn't already." Bella looked at me and then out the corner of my eye I saw Seth look at me too.

"Not _everyone_ was giving up on you." She said, Jake followed her eyes to me and I smiled at him.

Finally, everything was right and complete – sort of. Something _did_ feel weird and different about him. Whatever it was, it was small but whatever it was, it was there to me. He looked the exact same and he seemed himself. The hole that he had left started to fill again, but had felt like it had stopped, leaving a smaller hole remaining. There was still something about Jacob missing or something about me – or potentially, something about **_us_**.

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter - let me know what you think, and I'll be updating soon :) x**


	6. Enemies, Projects and Homeruns

**Sorry that this one has taken so long come update - I really hated what I originally had for this chapter - so I had to re-write it :S anyway, there it is. Enjoy! I'll try and update soon!**

**ENEMIES, PROJECTS AND HOME-RUNS **

"WOW, SOMEONE'S IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY." ABI SMILED AS I JOINED HER IN THE hallway before first period.

"Why not? It's a wonderful wet Wednesday, I'm with a nice friend and we're half way through the week – why shouldn't I be in a good mood?" I smiled, leaning against the next locker to hers. She gave me a puzzled look and tried not to laugh.

"Are you high?" she asked, eventually starting to giggle. I rolled my eyes and pushed myself off the locker.

"No, I'm just happy – that's all. Plus we've got Art now, and that's a good enough reason to be happy." I think I was starting to worry her, but it didn't matter, I knew I'd calm down by lunchtime. Of course, there was a long story as to why I was happy. Telling Abi one thing would mean telling her _everything_ and I couldn't tell her everything. Jacob was back! HE WAS BACK! And even the next day I still couldn't believe it. I'd spent a long time with him yesterday. After my mom left and eventually Seth, Leah, Quil and Embry dispersed home – it was just the two of us again. We had walked through parts of the forest that I had never been through before, but I'd been so absorbed in our conversations to care.

I knew that I wasn't allowed to know too much about what he'd been doing in the union place where he was, but I asked some general questions that didn't seem too top secret. Like: what he had to eat – was the food good? Where did he sleep? And did he make any new friends?

But according to Jacob it wasn't exactly a resort. It was near Norway (that was the only information I got about its location). It was very ancient, it had been there since the existence of werewolves began thousands and thousands of years ago. There were thousands of people there, other wolves. There were about three hundred other shape-shifters, wolves that triggered due to their environment and ones who changed through emotions. He had also mentioned the 'period wolves' – they were named that because when they changed they would stay wolves for certain periods of time, usually a week. But behind their backs they were called the period wolves because it was usually a week a month – he got a punch in the arm for that one. Even though it was sort of funny.

After a long conversation about his past fifteen years, he kept asking questions about me. But I was trying to avoid them like the plague, I didn't want him to know how little I'd done – because I knew he'd question it. What was I meant to say?: "I haven't done much because I've been sitting in my shell waiting for you to come home"? – I didn't want him to feel guilty for leaving me – especially seeing as it wasn't his fault.

He didn't get me home until late and my dad wasn't too happy about it, but he let it slide. But then again, I was going to be eighteen tomorrow! – What's wrong with getting me back at eleven?

School night.

Damn.

Art was sort of fun. Miss Mary-Tate had us draw someone in the room. Because she was sitting right next to me, Abi and I drew each other – look how adventurous we are!

"Don't make my nose look big." Abi warned me. "Actually, you see this bit on my nose here – can you change that to-"

"Oh no, I'm not changing anything. I'm drawing you the way you are and what are you talking about with your nose? – your nose is fine. It's cute." I assured her. She rolled her eyes and continued drawing.

"My nose is _not_ cute." She muttered under her breath.

We finished drawing each other with a few minutes to spare before the bell. After class, we went our separate ways until lunchtime.

We've made my family's old table _our_ lunch table. The other students still seem reluctant to steal it, so we've called it.

Eli and I sat alone at first, talking about his English assignment due next period. When I saw Abi walking into the cafeteria, I noticed that she wasn't alone she was with Jacey.

Alarm bells were ringing in my head, I really didn't want to see Jacey – I had been in such a good mood all day, she was sure to ruin it.

Unfortunately, Abi didn't stop on her way over to tell Jacey to take a hike, she lead her straight to us. I felt myself sink slightly into my chair. I heard Eli quietly humming the Jaws theme song under his breath as Jacey approached.

"Hey!" Abi let out an exasperated sigh as she threw herself down. Jacey pursed her lips behind Abi and crossed her arms impatiently.

"_Abi_!" she snapped, making both Eli and me jump.

"What!" Abi shot back.

"The project is due tomorrow-"

"You think I don't know that? I am well aware it's due tomorrow" Abi tensed in her chair. "If you're so worried about it, then why don't you stop looking in mirrors for once and maybe give a little attention to your education and _our project_?"

"Look Abi, we are a brains and beauty pair. _You _have the brains and _I_ have the beauty-"

"Sorry to interrupt, but career-wise nowadays beauty isn't going to get you much beyond prostitution. So, if I were you I'd get that brain working. Otherwise you're not gonna get very far." I told her, feeling a warmth of pride and satisfaction.

"Shut it, Résumé-"

"_Renesmee_." I corrected her.

"Gasundheit." She grinned. "I wasn't talking to you."

"I know, but you're trying and failing to insult my friend – so stop wasting our time. Lift a manicured finger and do some work." I told her.

Jacey still hadn't moved, and she was obviously getting on Abi's last nerve.

"I think what Renesmee is trying to say Jacey is _piss off_. You're annoying all of us, now _please_ just go!" Abi crossed her arms tightly and slumped back in her chair. She hovered for a moment and then Jacey stormed away from our table, _finally_.

Abi checked behind her to make sure she was gone before leaning forward to high five me.

"Looks like she won't be bothering us anymore." I grinned.

Eli snorted. "Oh no – the storm has just begun."

I thought Jacey was the spoiler of my day – but I was wrong. At the time I still hadn't encountered last period - gym. Coach Radley didn't allow me to skip gym; apparently we were playing baseball – _against the guys_! And because of people off sick, the girl's numbers were down and obviously sport was such an important thing that _every_ match was a matter of life and death. God I love sarcasm.

This was something where I was with both Abi and Eli. Outside the girl's locker room, the air was damp and humid. Darn the summer air.

I hadn't noticed until we were outside that Jacey was in my class too. Great. She had a follower, who I recognised from my History class. She was very petite and had long mousy brown hair. I think her name was Phoebe. Phoebe something.

Abi and I had met up with Eli and were trying to move around behind everyone else – hoping to become invisible.

I never had a problem with baseball, it was one of my favourite sports. But I'd always played it with vampires who could run around a hundred mile per hour, so I was used to playing it to the extremes. I couldn't play it like that with humans – I was screwed.

The Coach split us up into mixed sides. The three of us had stuck close to each other and so we were on the right side of the Coach's splitting arm. We had to bat. Great, just great.

I noticed that Jacey was on the other team; she was the one throwing the ball. And for someone who had never lifted a finger in her life – she had a pretty good throw.

"Cullen! You're up!" screamed the Coach – my stomach dropped to an all time low.

"Go on, Renesmee!" Abi whispered in my ear, shoving me forward. I stumbled up to bat.

_That's it Renesmee – act clumsy. Good job!_

_Just stay calm, hit it lightly, don't hit it too hard_.

As Jacey prepared to throw, she shot me a look so snake like, so sharp, so snide that I wanted to spit.

_Don't let her provoke you Renesmee._

_You can do it._

_C'mon, you can do it, Ness._

_Wait-what?_

The ball flew towards me. I panicked. I swung. It flew. It vanished. I cursed.

_I said – don't hit it too hard! GOD!_

Everyone was either looking at me or at the ball's vanishing point. I could hear gasps and mutters all around. Behind me, Eli let out a low whistle.

"H-home run?" said the Coach. Now everyone was looking at me. Oh no, what have I _done_? I dropped the bat and they all fell silent as I ran back to the locker rooms. At a normal pace.

"Damn it!" I growled as I punched a fist into the locker, leaving a deep dent. If they weren't suspicious of anything before they sure as hell were now.

After I'd sat with my head in my hands for about ten minutes, the girls returned to the locker room. Abi got dressed without saying anything and I didn't move as comments about me floated around the room. Things like:

"Freak."

"Ohmigod – did you see that ball?"

And

"She's just like the rest of them; I heard all the Cullens were strange."

That one stuck with me. My family said that they always managed to get out of gym. Except from my mom, but she wasn't a vampire and gym wasn't exactly one of her strengths. Hopefully, Coach Radley wouldn't call my parents saying that they had to pay for more baseballs. As long as I could avoid it, I wouldn't mention it.

As more girls emptied the locker room, I began to get changed. Once they were all gone, Abi turned to face me.

"I just want you to know that what you just did I thought was _really_ cool." She insisted with a smile.

"_Really_?" I asked, she nodded eagerly.

"Duh! That was _amazing_. How did you do that?"

I shrugged, "I dunno, I guess I just have a good swing."

"Hell you do!"

Outside, the word of my hit hadn't really spread – which I was grateful for. No one was pointing and whispering like they had been 'oh-so-subtly' doing in the locker rooms. I told Abi on our way out about my practicing baseball with my family, that it was a somewhat tradition. Then I told about Bella's stepfather, Phil, being into minor league baseball. She seemed impressed and not very suspicious anymore, which was good.

In the parking lot, Abi and I caught Jacey's eye. She was standing with that Phoebe girl. Abi nudged me.

"Don't let her get to you, remember?"

"Sure, of course. I won't let her get to me."

"But I thought that might have been what happen with the whole baseball thing- who is _that_ with the bike?" she was staring behind me, with wide eyes. I turned around and scanned the parking lot and was about to look around when I noticed him.

What was Jacob doing here? And why did he have that old bike? – Surely that wasn't safe to ride on anymore. I looked around for my dad, but couldn't see him.

"I think- that's my ride." I said, turning back to Abi.

"Oh." She said, raising a suggestive eyebrow at me.

"No!" I snapped, "No, it's not like that. Jake's my friend and he's great and all – but it's not like that."

"Of _course_ it isn't." she smirked.

"Oh c'mon – me and Jake are like. . . you and Eli. You said so yourself that there was nothing going on there."

"Okay, Renesmee. Whatever you say. I'll catch you later." She smiled and waved as she skipped down the steps and headed to her car. As I watched her, Jacob caught my eye. I smiled at him and walked over there.

"Hey!" he greeted me with a smile and a tight hug.

"Hi," I smiled. "What are you doing here?"

He pointed to the motorbike. "Thought you might prefer a different ride home. Plus I thought we could head over to the Reservation, maybe. That's if you don't have tonnes of homework to do."

I grinned.

"_Me_, on the bike?" I said, studying it a little more.

"Oh c'mon – you're trying to tell me that the girl who will climb up tree tops is afraid of riding a motorbike?"

"I am _not_ afraid of the bike- how did you know I climb trees?"

"I've been catching up on you – I have my resources."

"Is that so?" I smiled, feeling the seat of the bike. "Are you _sure_ it's safe to ride?"

"Ness, think about it. If it _wasn't_ safe to ride – would I ask you to ride with me?" he smiled and swung his leg over the bike. He sat there ready and I hesitated for a moment. But then three words appeared in my mind that made me get on the bike:

'_What the hell!'_

"So where are were going on the Reservation?" I asked.

"Sam and Emily's. Might be good idea to drop in and say 'hi'"

"Why?"

"Because Emily's pregnant." Just then we kicked off out the parking lot and down the road.

Next stop- La Push.

**Thanks for reading - I hope you enjoyed it - please review! :D x x**


	7. It's Really Not Like That

**Here's the latest update - thank you to those of you who have reviewed! I really appreciate it :)**

**Hope you enjoy the latest instalment! **

**IT'S **_**REALLY**_** NOT LIKE THAT.**

OKAY, SO I WASN'T THE MOST COMFORTABLE OF PEOPLE ON THE BIKE. MY FACE was practically glued to Jake's back because I was afraid of falling off somehow. I had spent most the journey with my eyes shut tight and only opened them when we slowed down at red lights.

I knew when we were close to Sam's house, because I could hear the waves under the roar of the motorbike.

Jacob slowed down again and this time, he cut the engine.

"Ness, we're here now – you can let go." He laughed, getting off the bike. He helped me off and I put the helmet on the seat, along with my bag.

I hadn't seen Emily in a few years. I met her when I was young, of course – Jacob brought me over to meet them when I was two, and I hadn't seen Sam ever since. When I'd seen Emily a couple of years ago I was with Seth at the time. My family had gone out hunting and I didn't want to go – so Seth opted to 'hang out' with me that day (which in other words meant 'babysit'). Emily had seemed quiet. She wasn't rude or anything, she was just really quiet. She reminded me of. . . _me_.

Later on, Seth explained how Emily had been like that ever since Sam's absence had grown beyond a couple of months. I felt incredibly bad for her. I mean, _I_ was upset that Jacob left too, but I guess he was only my best friend. Sam was Emily's _husband_ – that was different. I could only have imagined seeing as I don't have a husband. But I could imagine how my mom would feel if it were my dad who left without notice or how Esme would feel if it were Carlisle.

But that didn't matter now. Both of them were back and everything was the way it should be. And Emily had even got a kick or two in the first two weeks since Sam had been back. She must have, because she was pregnant. It was strange to think that Emily was pregnant, even though she had always struck me as being a 'motherly' type. She would be a great mom, I think.

We walked through the front door to the strong smell of baking. It smelt amazing – it was just a shame that I couldn't eat any of it and keep it down. Emily was standing with her back to us with puffs of flour coming from in front of her. Even from here she seemed healthier, she had a happy vibe that filled the entire room.

She heard one of our footsteps and turned.

"Jake!" she smiled and then looked and me. "And Renesmee _Cullen_, I was wondering when I was going to see you again." She came over and hugged me, tightly.

"Yeah, I managed to crawl out from under my little rock." I giggled. Emily laughed as she released me and turned her attention to Jacob.

"Sam's out the back, Jake – he wanted to have a word with you." She told him. Then she lightly touched my cheek and returned to the kitchen, this time moving her dough of some sort to the opposite counter, facing us.

I peeked out the back to see Sam building something – a barbeque? A bench? A back porch? I didn't know.

Jake nodded. "Okay." Then he looked at me. "I'll be right back." He said and walked over to and out the back door. I had been left alone with Emily who was looking at me with that same look Abi gave me when I told her that Jacob was there to pick me up. Maybe if I hadn't let my eyes follow him out, Emily wouldn't look at me like that.

I tilted my head, "_What_?"

A smirk broke out onto her face as she continued to beat the dough.

"Nothing!" she snapped, then glanced back at me. "It's just you and Jake-"

"No! There's nothing going on." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and immediately looked away. My cheeks always turned red either when I was lying, I was embarrassed or I wanted to cry – lying was the last thing I wanted my red cheeks to suggest.

"Renesmee-" she lowered her voice. "There's nothing wrong with it. In fact, it's perfectly normal."

"Wait, did I just hear 'Renesmee' and 'perfectly normal' in the same sentence?" said a voice from the front door, I knew straight away who it was.

Claire. I hadn't seen her since before I was told I would be starting school and now I was going to see her even less _because _of school.

"No Quil today?" I asked, leaning on the counter. "I thought you two were some kind of package deal?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop it Renesmee- you're just jealous" she retorted.

I snorted, "Yep, you got me. I'm jealous. I'm jealous that I don't get to crawl into bed with Quil every night."

Claire took a grape from the fruit ball and clawed her finger at me.

"You're disgusting." I shook my head at her and watched the dough in Emily's hands.

"So – why is Renesmee perfectly normal?" she asked, mirroring my stance. I shot Emily a look but missed.

"I was just telling Renesmee that her feelings for-"

"A person who I go to school with is perfectly normal." I finished her sentence and she smirked. I would have given anything to have my head under a car right now, be anywhere but where I was being cornered.

"Oh _really_?" she grinned. "So what's this person's name?" I was thinking of telling her about Jacey. She was the only one I'd met who I didn't have a neutral friendship with, maybe Claire would help me devise a plan to sabotage her. Unfortunately, Emily beat me to the answer.

"His name's Jacob, he's actually in the back yard right now with Sam."

"Ah yes, the return of Jacob. I heard. So _how's_ it going?"

"Oh Claire, stop it-"

"Renesmee _think_ about it. You may think that now Jacob is back – _everything_ is back to normal. But things are different now and things _are_ going to be different between you and Jake. You're not the little three-year-old Nessie anymore. Do me a favour, next time you're alone with him just look at him. Is he still the brother-like best friend you're used to? Or is there something different – if so, what is it?"

I stared at her, wanting to argue back but lost for words. I _did_ feel that there was something different yesterday – but I couldn't tell what it was. Claire and Emily exchanged a look, like their minds were parallel to each other. When Abi suggested something going on, she was just suggesting it out of fun. But it was different with Emily and Claire; they suggested it as if there _should_ be something there. I wasn't sure of many things right now, but one thing I was sure of: there was something they weren't telling me and they weren't the only ones.

We changed the topic to Emily's baby. As we talked – our previous conversation went straight out the window and was history, which I was really grateful for. It wasn't long until Jacob returned with Sam.

"Renesmee - long time, no see." Said Sam as he joined Emily's side.

"Same to you." I smiled. Jacob leaned on the counter next to me, I looked at him and immediately felt Claire's stare in at the back of my head.

Well, this was going to be fun.

Eventually, we left Sam and Emily's. It was almost dark now. I'd opted to bake with Emily for God knows how many hours, Claire had done some stuff too. The topic of Jacob and I never returned. But whilst we were baking, I would occasionally catch his eye and I knew that he had heard parts of our conversation. I didn't need to be a mind-reader to know it.

"So-" said Jake, sitting on the bike. "Home time?"

I shook my head. "Na- it's only eight. The night's still young and I have flour in my hair."

"Okay, so home time _then_ shower time?" he grinned.

"No – why not go to the beach? C'mon it'll be fun! I haven't been there in ages." I told him. He crossed his arms and studied me. I smiled widely at him.

"_Please_?" I squeaked.

"Ness, it's getting late-"

"Not nearly as late as I got back last night-"

He sighed, "One hour. Maybe two – if you're good." He grinned. "Hop on."

"I'm not a child." I reminded him whilst putting my helmet on.

"Yet you're as persistent as one. Hold on."

I wrapped my arms round his stomach and my face was once again hidden in his back.

The beach was silent. It was actually very relaxing just standing there with the soft howl of the wind and the low whoosh of the waves. The sand was illuminated by the waxing gibbous moon and the calmer water rippled its reflection. I walked down to the shore with Jacob in tow

I stopped a few feet from where the tide stopped. It made me sleepy, just watching the waves. The wind was warm and made the water look inviting.

"Nice, huh?" I heard Jacob behind me.

"It's beautiful." I said. Then I kicked off my shoes.

"Last one in is a dirty, rotten bloodsucker!" I screamed, stripping down to my underwear in the blink of an eye. I ran and dived into the water.

The unbearably cold water.

At first my head was underwater and the coldness made me want to gasp, but I managed to get my head above water before taking anything in. Jacob had dived into the water shortly after me. Of course, he didn't feel the cold water.

I was shaking when he reached me.

"Y'alright?" he asked.

"I-it's-s f-f-fre-e-ezing." I told him. He laughed at my idiocy, and I laughed too.

"Come here." He swam a little closer and wrapped both arms around me. The coldness melted away from me and I was warm. Well, the upper part of me was anyway. My legs had gone so numb I couldn't really feel the cold anymore.

I soon realised how weird I must have looked. Jacob had both his arms round me whilst I floated there with my arms at my sides. I pulled my arms up out of his grasp and put one arm round his neck placing the other on his shoulder and my head resting on his collar bone.

This was actually, sort of, in a way, _nice_. And better yet – it felt right too, like we belonged that way. What the hell was I saying? Stop it Renesmee, this is Jacob you're talking about!

Admittedly, everything about that moment was _romantic_. It just felt weird sharing it with Jacob, or at least _that's_ what I kept telling myself. There was a part of me that actually liked it, that part I despised.

Oh, if only Claire could see us now – she'd be screaming her lungs out with 'I told you so! I told you so!" and of course I would have flipped her off.

The silence spoke for us. I would gently close my eyes and drift in and out of sleep. When I was awake, I always wished I knew what Jacob was thinking right then. Was he thinking about when I was younger and how different I looked? Was he thinking about something he watched on TV last night? Was he thinking about something that happened during his absence – did he meet a girl there? Did they have a thing and then had to go their separate ways? – did he not really want to come home?

"Ness-" he lifted my chin to him with his finger. "I wanted to come home the very second I left, you don't need to worry about that." Then I noticed my hand on his neck.

"Damn thoughts gift!" I snatched my hand away from his neck and he laughed.

"So what _were_ you thinking about?" I asked. He looked at me thoughtfully and then looked back to the shore.

"I was thinking that it's about time I got you home." He told me. But deep down – I knew that wasn't what he was thinking.

I sighed. "Okay." Jacob released me from his arms and I began to swim away. Then the temperature of the water hit me and I was back in his arms again.

"On second thought, _you_ swim and I'll hold onto you." I said, wrapping myself round his back.

"If you insist-" he mumbled something that I couldn't make out, but I ignored it. Jake swam back to shore with me on his back and a strange sense of bliss warmed my body.

What was _wrong_ with me?

**Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. I'll update very soon! :) x**


	8. Eighteen

**Okay this is quite a big chapter, but it's also quite an important one. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! :)**

**EIGHTEEN**

I AWOKE ON MY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY, STARING UP AT MY CEILING AND I lingered there for some time. My ceiling wasn't any Sistine Chapel, but it was a plain white, a blank canvas and it was the best thing to look at when thinking. What was up with me last night? Last night I was jumping in and out of sleep. When I was awake I found myself thinking about Jacob in ways that I shouldn't, and I especially didn't want Edward overhearing those thoughts. I was confused enough as it was; I didn't need my dad starting to question it too. But even if he did – what exactly could I say to him when I knew so little myself.

I rested my hands over my eyes and rubbed them in continuous circles to remove the sleep. It had been a long night for me, being in and out of sleep really takes its toll. I removed my hands from my eyes and stared out the window. Unfortunately, it was a cloudy day so it looked like it was going to be a school day on my birthday. Great. I considered falling asleep again, but there was a knock at my door.

I made a groaning noise to signify that I was still alive and awake. My parents stepped in and were at my bedside in a second. Bella bent down and kissed my forehead.

"Happy birthday, Renesmee." She smiled, I smiled at her and slowly pushed myself up. Bella sat on the edge of my bed whilst Edward crouched next to us.

"Wow, _eighteen_ – you're older than me." He grinned.

"Thanks dad, now I feel ancient. Way to boost my self-esteem." I moaned at him with an ever-lasting smile on my face.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart." He held my hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Thanks dad."

Bella lightly touched my arm and caught my attention.

"Now, I hate to tell you this – but y'know how Alice is. You haven't let her throw you a party in years, but now it's your eighteenth – she's not gonna care."

"So Alice is throwing me a party?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful."

Edward chuckled. "Okay, you can have _our_ present now. But the others will have to wait until later."

"Alright." I said. He handed me a small square box, which at first I thought would be a necklace. It was nicely wrapped with a lilac bow. Maybe it was a necklace?

I untied the bow, carefully trying not to ruin the material. I opened the box, expecting a chain and pendant – but instead was a key of some sort. It was a pretty odd looking key – unless it was a lock. I took the object out and studied it. On the back it had 'Mustang' engraved in silver.

"No way." I whispered, and then looked back at my parents. "Are you serious?"

"Is it good or bad?" asked Bella.

"It's- it's _perfect_. Thank you!" I threw my arms around her because she was closest. They bought me a car – my very own car!

When I was done with Bella I threw my arms around my dad.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I squealed.

"You're very welcome, love." He said.

"Is it here? Like _here_-here?" I asked, they both nodded.

"It's on the driveway."

I didn't need to think for an extra second- I was out of bed, out the door and on the driveway before either of them could open their mouths.

There is was, just like they had said. A brand new, sparkling Mustang was sitting on our drive. It was red with a thick black stripe than ran down the center. I walked towards it and unlocked the car with the strange key it had. It beeped twice and I ran round to the driver's seat.

In the driver's seat it had that amazing new car smell. The seats were leather and incredibly smooth. It had a push to start button which needed to be verified with the key by the looks of things. The key had a red button on it that started flashing when I pressed the button in the car. I wasn't until I pushed the key's button when the engine purred.

It. Was. Amazing.

As I felt the wheel I was dazzled by a sudden flash right next to my door.

"Smile!" squeaked Alice, she reviewed the photo and smiled at me "Perfect- Happy birthday, Renesmee."

"Thanks." I said whilst trying to get the flash out of my sight. Alice was then replaced by my parents.

"What do you think? Do you like it?" asked Bella.

"I _love_ it." I grinned.

I drove to school with the windows down. The car filled with my two favourite scents- new car and newly wet grass. My dad had insisted that I didn't exceed twenty-five whilst drive around the forest – the roads were too curvy to drive fast round. Seeing as I loved my car too much to damage it, I obliged.

Driving into the school parking lot was like my first day all over again. A Mustang of this new kind was very rare and was especially not something you saw in a school lot. People stared at me as I slowed down for them to get out the way. There was a space next to Eli's Ford that I took. Abi stood with him.

"Nice ride." Said Eli, staring in awe.

"Thanks – it was a birthday present from my parents."

"It's your _birthday_? Why didn't you say anything?" snapped Abi. I locked the car and went to join them.

"Because it's only a birthday, it's no big deal."

"It's a _huge_ deal Renesmee." She sighed. "Well, happy birthday." She managed to force a smile and I thanked her for it.

The three of us wandered down the hallway before the bell.

"So, what else did you get for your birthday?" asked Eli.

I shrugged, "I dunno. I only got my car – everything else will have to wait until my party-" then an idea clicked. "Are you two doing anything tonight?"

"Nope, that damn project is due today so I'll be free as of tonight."

"My only plan was to rot in front of the TV."

"Would you like to come to my party?- my aunt did it so it might be a little OTT."

Abi lit up and Eli grew cautious, "I dunno, first the table now their house. Aren't we pushing boundary lines a little?"

"Eli don't be silly – the table was a myth and these 'boundary lines' are a complete load of crap too." I assured him. "_Please_ come, it'll be great."

"Well, I'm in." smiled Abi and eventually Eli agreed to come too, whilst insisting that he didn't believe in the myth of the Cullen table.

It was my first quiet school day. Jacey hadn't become a problem, seeing as the project was over – she didn't need to nag Abi constantly. But she did shoot me looks in the hallways and in the cafeteria. I didn't know if she was suspicious of the baseball accident or not. Did she realise how tempted I had been to throwing the bat at her head?

Over lunchtime I told Abi and Eli the stories of Alice's party obsession and how she always threw amazing parties. We also devised a plan for them coming to the party, seeing as they'd never been to my house before – they were going to have a rough time finding it. I told them to meet me at the school parking lot at four, that way they had time to get changed, I could lead them to my house and I could take my new car for a longer drive whilst I waited.

English had been my last class – it had also been the slowest of the day. Eli was in my English class and we sat at the back, passing notes about the terrible haircut the teacher had. We would keep redrawing it to look worse and end up in silent fits of laughter. But we couldn't have been the only ones in the class to notice.

After the bell, I left with Eli and said goodbye at the entrance. Apparently Abi's car had a flat tyre so he'd given her a ride to school, when he left me he went to find her.

I often thought their relationship was kind of sweet. They were almost like brother and sister, I could understand why Abi had said that their relationship would never take a 'romantic' turn. They were too 'looking out' for each other to become romantically involved.

My car still had the attention of the parking lot. I unlocked the car and tossed my bag into the passenger seat.

"Nice car." Jacob's voice made me jump with how close it was. I turned round and he was smiling down at me.

"Thanks – it's my present from my parents." I smiled, shutting the car door. He leaned his hand against the hood of the car, and surprisingly I didn't mind.

"Of course, and by the way-" he pulled something out of his pocket. "-Happy birthday." He held a beautiful charm bracelet in his hand.

"Jake-"I said breathlessly, taking the bracelet from his hands. It was beautiful. I held it up and gently fingered the charms.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

"I-it's perfect."

He took the bracelet from my hands and gently tied it round my wrist. I awed at the little charms as he clipped it together, then I looked at him. "Thank you." I smiled. Then, as I stared at him I began to remember yesterday with Claire – '_Next time you're alone with him just look at him. Is he still the brother-like best friend you're used to? Or is there something different_' – After my obscure sleeping patterns last night, I found that a good enough reason to consider what Claire told me. When would this strange conflict inside of me stop? When would things be normal or at least feel normal? When would I be able to hang out with Jacob and not have to stop and think of certain feelings that were changing? –Tomorrow? Next week? Next year?

So many questions, such a bad time.

But the strange thing was that he was looking at me too, with deeper thought, with deeper meaning. Maybe it wasn't just me who was losing my mind – he was too, a little, maybe.

"Hey, Renesmee!" Abi's voice scared more than Jacob's had. She was stood behind Jacob, leant against Eli's car.

"Oh, hi!" I said, still startled.

"So – here at four, yeah?" she asked, slipping by me and Jacob to get to the passenger door.

"Yeah, I'll be here – four on the dot." I smiled, leaning against my car. "Oh, Jake this is my friend Abi, Abi this is Jacob."

"Hi." They said in sync and shook hands.

"Oh and that's Eli." Abi pointed through the Ford's windows to Eli who was just unlocking the car.

"Okay, well we'll see you in a while. Bye!" and she shut the door. As Eli reversed out of the parking space, they waved as they drove off.

"They seem, _nice_." Jacob said, turning back to me.

I nodded. "They're coming to the party later – you're coming too, aren't you?"

"Wouldn't miss it." He smiled, "But I've gotta go. I'll be at your house later – save me food and a dance." He pulled me into his arms and gave me one of his great bear hugs. Oh, how I'd missed them.

"I will," I promised. "And thank you for the bracelet, it's really beautiful."

"No problem!" he called as he headed away into the trees on the edge of the lot. I watched the back of his head as he ran, and then absent-mindedly my gaze dropped lower on him. My cheeks flushed red and I looked away, then he was gone.

Wherever they were expecting my house to be, Abi and Eli had definitely not expected the forest. Abi had given me her number and insisted that we had each other on speaker just in case they got lost.

"Holy hell." Eli murmured from my phone as we crossed into the forest. "You wouldn't happen to have a tree house would you?"

I laughed, "Actually I have a tree city that surrounds my house, you're driving straight through it. Welcome to New Branch City."

"Oh you're hilarious." He laughed sarcastically. As we drove through the forest roads, I would often get reminders from Abi that I was going too fast and that they wanted me to slow down. They were both trying to take in their surroundings so they knew their way out – which was fair enough.

Outside my house was a dark grey Land Rover I didn't recognise. I turned onto the drive – parking it where I had left it and got out. Eli parked just in front of the Land Rover. As I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat, I studied it as I went to greet my friends.

"Cool car – who's is it?"

I shrugged, "No idea." Then I led them up into the house.

"Wow – nice place." Said Eli as he walked through the front door. I smiled at his compliment and threw my bag over my shoulder. Just then, Alice appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Renesmee, you were supposed to be home an _hour_ ago. Where were yo- and who is this?" her tone changed for annoyance to perfectly innocent.

"These are my friends, Abi and Eli. I invited them to my par-"

"Renesmee! Look at you!" someone squealed in front of me. I looked down from Alice and saw- _Tanya_ and _Kate_?

Tanya came forward first and threw her arms around me.

"Oh my goodness – look how beautiful you are. You've just shot up."

"Tanya, Kate – it's good to see you. What are you doing here?"

Kate lightly stroked my cheek as Tanya let go. "We were in the Seattle area and we thought my might visit. And then when we got here Alice was like a decoration whirlwind and she told us that it was your eighteenth, so we decided to stay for your party. If that's okay?"

"No, its fine!" I smiled. "I haven't seen you in _ages_." Tanya smiled and then looked behind me at my friends.

"Oh, these are my friends Abi and Eli. Abi and Eli this is Tanya and Kate. They're family friends."

It had been years since we'd had a visit from any of the Denali clan or visited them. Last time I saw them, I hadn't completely developed – so this was the first time they'd seen me _grown up_.

"Bella, Edward – I wondered where you two were." Tanya moved round me and hugged my mom, who hadn't been expecting such a sudden embrace.

The four of them quickly reunited and then my mother's gaze fell on me and my friends.

"These are my friends Abi and Eli," then I turned to my friends. "These are my parents – Edward and Bella."

Edward's face seemed relatively happy, which was a good sign. He tended to greet and listen to determine his impression of someone. Unless he wasn't doing that this time – I'd say that whatever my friends were thinking hadn't bothered him.

Alice was behind me, I felt her icy hands grab my shoulders.

"Well, I'm sure your parents can entertain your friends whilst _I_ have some time with you." She insisted, leading me away from them towards the stairs. I didn't bother arguing, because I knew as well as anyone that it was hopeless against Alice. I must _not_ ruin her party plan – because I'd be the one bitten on the butt for it.

The stairs were decorated with a single purple or white set of tea lights, whilst having white petals scattered around them. A variety of different sized white ball lights hung from the ceiling – the bigger the distance from the ceiling to the ground, the bigger the ball. The banisters were draped with purple fabric. On my father's piano sat a wide fish bowl with purple dyed water, floating white rose buds and floating white and purple tea lights in rose shaped holders.

It looked beautiful. As always.

I'd sat in front of my dresser mirror for nearly two hours. I'd requested that Alice didn't do anything too fancy or obscure with my hair because it would take me twice as long to undo it. She kept it simple and kept my outfit matching the theme. A year or so ago there had been a dress that I'd fallen in love with, Alice bought it for me but I always felt it was too nice to be casual. The shade of purple matched the party's purple perfectly. It was a very simple silk dress that cut off just above my knees, it was so pretty.

Just before she declared me done, Alice slid a small white rose into my hair. Roses were my favourite flower. I was sort of ashamed that I picked a very general flower and didn't go for something more exotic, but I mostly didn't care.

"Perfect." She smiled, stroking a few ends of my hair. I did like it. As soon as Bella had told me this morning that Alice was throwing me a party, I had dreaded how over the top she would be with my outfit. But Alice had proven me wrong, _this_ time.

Alice left my room, leaving me to adjust myself for a few minutes. I sat on my bed for a while, staring at my toe nails. I decided it would be best not to wear anything with an open toe, my dark red nails would clash with the theme colour. They were a nice warm red or a 'sexy' red as Claire had called them when she painted them. Not that I really had a reason to try and be sexy.

I slipped on a pair of flats and headed downstairs.

As I walked down the stairs, I noticed more eyes turning to face me. It was when _all_ eyes were on me that I started to feel nauseous. This had been one of the main reasons for me wanting Alice to not be over the top – but I could have been wearing a top hat with fireworks shooting out the top and still had the same amount of attention.

I forced myself to see past the staring eyes and identify who my guests were. Obviously my family were there – they were the most inevitable guests. I was already aware that Jacob, Abi, Eli, Tanya and Kate were going to be there. But there were more: Seth, Embry, Emily and Sam, Quil and Claire, Paul and Jacob's sister Rachel. Wow.

Over the past hour, Alice had been directing me to the people _she_ wanted me to talk to. And I knew exactly why she was doing it, because at no point had she directed me in Jacob's direction. She knew that once I was with him, it would be a long while before I left him.

I'd been stood with Claire for quite some time, whilst we gossiped and she played with my hair. We talked about my car quiet a lot, she was determined to steal it from me whilst I slept. Eli had become pretty friendly with Edward and he didn't seem to mind it at all, even though I sometimes caught Bella glancing over and looking frustrated every time Eli was still there. And Abi had become pretty friendly with Embry, who she'd barely left the side of since I'd seen her. Nonetheless, I was happy that Abi and Eli were making friends and not stuck with each other the whole night. I'd been talking to Tanya about school when Alice reminded me that there were some presents which I hadn't opened. She pulled me over to the couch and placed two boxes on my lap. One was quite large, the other one was the same size as the box my car keys came in. Untraditionally, I opened the biggest one first. This one was from Alice and Jasper. As I removed the lid of the box, I recognised its black frills. Only a few months ago, Alice had taken me shopping and there was a new boutique in town at unbelievably high prices. There had been a black dress I tried on and was almost physically unable to part with it. I had nagged Alice about letting me have it, but the dress was nine and a half grand. Although she wouldn't have a problem with spending that kind of money, I would very rarely wear it.

"It's _the_ dress." I gasped, lifting the straps out the box.

"Yes, it's _the_ dress that became the love of your life as soon as you saw it. The one you were almost in tears over because I wouldn't let you have it." She reminded me. Okay, maybe I had been a _little_ OTT about the dress, but it was so beautiful.

"But Renesmee, this dress is for special, special, _special_ occasions." She warned me as I put the lid back on.

"How about my funeral? Is that special enough?" I asked.

"God no! I will not let you be buried in a ten grand dress. It would have to be at least three grand." She smiled.

"Well, ten grand or not – I love it. Thank you Alice, and Jasper." I stood up and hugged her tightly.

"You _should_ love it. I didn't resist your tears of persuasion for nothing."

Next was the little box, which I was told was from Rosalie and Emmett. I opened it to find a bracelet with the Cullen crest on it. I'd wanted one just like this for years and Rosalie knew that better than anyone. I always loved to try on her crest necklace and every time I always went on about how I desperately wanted one.

"Oh my gosh-" I lifted the bracelet out of the box and put it on next to Jacob's bracelet.

"I told you that I would get you a special one when you were old enough. I think eighteen is good enough." I could vaguely remember when she told me that, but it hadn't stuck to my mind.

Esme and Carlisle's present was slightly different, as in it couldn't be wrapped up. At first it sounded like a terrible excuse for not remembering someone's birthday and insisting that their gift is 'love' or 'care'.

"We've put your gift in the first room upstairs on the left." Esme told me. I looked past the stairs and saw the door they were talking about. When I was at the top of the stairs, I had a feeling that everyone knew what it was. A part of me was worried that someone was in there to jump out at me. I opened the door to darkness. Flicking on the light switch I saw a room full of used and new canvases. There were tables with stacks of different paints and paint brushes, an easel, an overcoat hanging on the wall and various other art essentials. They built me an art studio. And it was just across from my room.

"An _art_ studio?" I gasped in the doorway.

"We thought you'd like it." I heard Esme say downstairs. It was amazing. I finally didn't have to worry about dropping paint all over my bedroom carpet, or a wet canvas falling onto the floor. It was like they'd given me a room for my birthday that I could trash up to my heart's content.

After a couple of hours, there were very few people left. And honestly – I was grateful, because I was exhausted. Abi and Eli had been some of the last to leave, along with Embry and Seth. Abi said goodbye to me first, but as I stood with Claire I watched her say farewell to the others. Her goodbye to Embry seemed to take a lot longer than necessary – what was up with that? Besides Jacob, Tanya and Kate, Claire and Quil were the last to leave.

"Happy birthday, Ness." Claire said as we hugged goodbye. "I'll see you soon."

"Thanks for coming." I said and they were gone. Tanya and Kate wouldn't leave for a while seeing as they didn't need to sleep and were in no hurry to get anywhere. That left me with Jacob, _finally_.

"Is it just me, or I have I barely seen you tonight?" he said, joining me by the front door.

"I know, I'm _really_ sorry. It's Alice has-"

"I know, I know." He grinned at his attempt to make me feel bad. "But what about now? – Wanna take a _leisurely_ walk through the woods?"

"I would love to." I smiled. I caught Edward's eye just past Jacob's shoulder.

"Have my daughter back safely, won't you Jacob?" he called. Jacob looked over his shoulder to Edward.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He assured him and I led the way out the door.

I loved walking through the forest at night, especially when the moon was bright enough to light patches of ground through the trees. It made the forest floor look like it was sparkling. We walked in silence until my house was far out of view. I asked if we could sit down somewhere, seeing as my legs were turning to jelly through exhaustion. We found a larger spot of moonlight and sat in it. Looking up, the moon looked so pretty eclipsed by the tree branches.

I knew that Alice wouldn't appreciate me sitting in the dirt in this dress, but at least I wasn't in my new dress.

We sat together for quite some time, still in silence. Jacob was away in thought whilst I sat there playing with a random curl.

"Ness-" he finally said. "Do you believe in love at first sight, made for someone, soul mates kind of stuff?"

"Well, I suppose so – I haven't really thought about it. Why?"

"It's time you know the truth, I've been avoiding it only because I wasn't sure how to say it. If my brain had it it's way then I may have explained to you a couple of days ago."

I crossed my legs and straightened up – things just got interesting.

He turned to face me. "I overheard your conversation with Claire and Emily yesterday-"

"You _did_? Oh my g- I'm really sorry, they just jumped on me with it and-"

"No it's fine, really. I'm glad that they did, unless it made you feel uncomfortable?"

"Mainly because I didn't really know what was going on myself – it was like they knew something that I didn't and that's what made it even worse."

"Well – they _do_ know something you don't. Something that I need to explain to you, or _try_ to." He took a deep breath. "You know about most my abilities, Ness. I've never made much of a secret of them. But there is one thing – one thing that used to irritate the hell outta me. It's called imprinting."

"_Imprinting_?" I repeated.

"Yeah. It's like love at first sight, but it's in that first glance where you connect with your soul mate, your other half, the one – call it what you will. You feel the desperate need to protect them and to be anything for them. You would be anything from a shoulder to cry on to a lover for them, it usually turns into love. A relationship made from an imprint doesn't have as much freedom to choose or as much flexibility as a normal relationship. But it is much more powerful and definite, you become magnets, almost. It's a relationship built on protection, trust and the willingness to do anything for the other."

Goosebumps ran down my arms.

"It isn't a common thing that is meant to happen for all of us, but the amount of imprints in this area _is_ abnormal. Take Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, Paul and my sister, Quil and Claire. . . me and you." He said the last part quietly, but I heard it clearer than anything else. My head shot up. 'Me and you'? He had imprinted on _me_?

Wow.

I was thankful for how many things it explained. Over the past few days I _hadn't_ been losing my mind, I had just been realising that I was in love with Jacob. And loads of people seemed to know about it. Did my parents know? – surely they must have known. Dad would have read his thoughts if Jacob hadn't said it openly. But he said the first glance is when you imprinted; he hadn't had his first glance at me just a couple of days ago. He imprinted on me minutes after I was born. It was gross, sweet and disappointing at the same time.

I was never going to have a choice with who I fell in love with. I could date a hundred guys and I would be led straight back to Jacob. That should be depressing, right? – Then why was I the least bit unhappy? Why was I ecstatic?

I'd been silent for quite some time now as was probably starting to worry him.

"Ness?" he said, trying to catch my eye. I looked in his dark, _dark_ brown eyes – everything there felt like home and _now_ it felt normal. I wasn't sure what made me do what I did next, but I lifted my hand to bring his face to me and crushed my lips against his.

At first I felt hesitant. I wasn't sure if I was doing this as a thing of the moment or I genuinely wanted to kiss him. Maybe it was a bit of both?

But after a few seconds, any questions I had of my motives dissolved. Now I knew that this was exactly what I wanted, I wanted to stay here with him in this spot with our lips locked together.

Finally I broke away.

"So, you're not mad at me for not telling you?" he asked, getting his breath back.

"Why should I be mad? – Jake, I'm relieved that you told me, I'm finally out of the dark."

"I'm glad that you're okay with it. And as far as 'being anything for you' goes, I think I like to road you're taking-"he brought my lips to his again and my heart was its own rollercoaster. I kissed him back with a smile.

Finally, things felt _relatively_ normal. It was the first time when I'd really asked myself: Am I in love with Jacob? And it was the first of many times when I replied with: Yes.

**Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it. Please review! :) x**


	9. The Opportunity Was There, So I Took It

**Okay, here's the latest update. I think some people thought that the last chapter was the end, trust me - it's no way near the end! ;) plenty more to come!**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy the newest edition to Full moon.**

**THE OPPORTUNITY WAS THERE, SO I TOOK IT.**

A MONTH AGO I HAD BEEN WORRYING OVER TELLING MY PARENTS ABOUT ME DATING Jacob, but I hadn't been sure why. Maybe it was because my dad had warned me only a few days before that I wasn't allowed a boyfriend after how the first one went down. I still haven't told Jacob about that and I don't plan to.

It was a cold October morning when I mentally celebrated my first month being eighteen and dating Jacob. Overall I had considered it a pretty successful month. I was now practically best friends with Abi and Eli. They sometimes came over after school and the rest of my family seemed to welcome them like we'd known them for years. Speaking of Abi, only a few days after my birthday I had found out why Abi was with Embry all the time at my party – apparently he'd imprinted on her. That making me feel even closer Abi, seeing as we were pretty much in the same boat with being new to imprinting. Abi now knew about the wolves, but her knowledge of me and my family still remained as the things I told her – one of them _not_ being that we were vampires and part-vampire.

Claire and Abi were _gradually_ becoming friends. Claire had always been quite a reserved person, so it would be a while until they were really good friends. On the subject of gradual things, my parents were becoming very accepting of the relationship I now had with Jake. Over the weeks, they became more inclined to let me spending nearly all of my free time with him.

Friday. The last hurdle of the week before you can rest until the next hurdle on Monday. But I had time to enjoy before Monday sadly arrived. I'd told Claire that I would dedicated my Saturday to her – seeing as she'd felt neglected by me for the past month. Sunday would be a 'take it as it comes' day, as usual.

I sat in the cafeteria with Abi who was talking about something then Embry, something then Embry again – meanwhile, I found myself watching Jacey hover around table close by. She was annoyingly massaging some poor guy's shoulders whilst laughing nonchalantly with a few others. Her pet, Phoebe, was sitting close to where Jacey was standing – picking at the little food she had. I felt really sorry for her. Jacey never once glanced down at Phoebe, who was being ignored by the rest of them.

". . .but it's alright now, he understood – Renesmee, are you even listening to me?" I heard Abi complain. I looked at her almost instantly, trying to recover from my daze. I gave her a reassuring nod and she continued with a new story almost instantly. Time to tune out, _again_. I wasn't deliberately staring at Jacey as distraction from Abi's relationship stories, there was just something off about Jacey today that I couldn't pin-point. And then something happened that helped me prove it.

Jacey had her back directly to me, but I think she knew I was looking at her. She turned to look at me over her shoulder and after a few seconds of holding each other's gaze, she smiled at me. Her smile was mean and devious coated with a shiny malevolence that I think she called 'lip gloss'. Just then her gaze followed her hand as she slipped it into her back pocket, withdrawing her car keys and putting them in her bag. Then she looked back at me for a couple of seconds and rejoined her group.

My eyes absent-mindedly narrowed at her. What was she up to?

I had my reasons to be suspicious. Even after handing in her project with Abi, she always found some stupid reason to come over and nag her. Eventually, we declared that she was coming over not to bother Abi, but to bother me. She would slip in a few snared remarks whilst she gossiped to us about stuff we pretended to show interest in. Gym had recently become one of my favourite lessons (Bella was surprised). It had been the only class where Jacey and I could hit each other with whatever equipment they'd given us and it could always look like a completely innocent accident. Coach Radley hadn't been too convinced on occasions that it was an accident, but she let it slide because at least we were putting physical effort into something – which was more than what the rest of the class where doing.

So like I said, I had my reason to be suspicious.

Abi's voice drifted back. ". . . my dad wants me to stay at home, or close to anyway. What about you? What are you gonna do?"

"Huh?"

"Coll-" but she stopped and stared at me. She could see the vacancy in my eyes; my mind was on other things. Then she let out the most exasperated sigh I had ever heard. "_Renesmee_, have you listened to a single word I've said?"

"Pfft – of _course_ I have."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"Alright – what does my dad what, then?" she sat up straight and raised an eye-brow. Geez, it was like talking to a teacher who hates you or parents who like to emphasise the authority they have over you.

"He wants you to. . . _stay close_ – to something? – to _home_!" I gave her an 'I told you so' grin. She wasn't convinced and she knew that I had been watching Jacey.

"You can't let her keep intimidating you." She insisted.

"I'm _not_. I'm just waiting for her to provoke me to the limits."

"And then what?"

"That's the beauty of waiting and not knowing." I assured her. She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her water.

"Are you still coming over after school?" I asked, trying to keep my attention on her this time. She nodded and risked a glance at Jacey who was now sitting on some blond haired guy's knee.

"Ugh." We said in unison and both smiled.

When the bell rang at the end of chemistry, I let out a louder than intended sigh of relief. Eli hovered around me whilst I scooped my books into my bag.

"I can't come over by the way, not tonight. I need to use the library, so I'll be staying back." He said as we began to head for the door. I nodded and was about to say something when Carble perked up.

"Hold on just a minute, Miss Cullen." She said from behind her desk.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Eli said quickly and shut the door behind him. It was just me and Miss Carble.

I stood opposite her desk and looked down at her. God I despised that woman.

"Is there a problem?" I asked, quite innocently.

"I've been keeping record of your test results, Miss Cullen and it appears that you may have slipped – just a little."

"Well, how little?"

"Well, in your first test you achieved an A and you kept that going throughout your work. But recently your work has rapidly slipped down to an F."

"_What_? An _F_? How is that possible?" I caught a glimpse of my test papers under a load of papers. I couldn't be failing – how could I be failing? Every test was as easy as pie! – well, it was for me anyway.

"It's _possible_ that you find yourself thinking about other things besides chemistry when in test conditions – may I be correct?" there was a hint of a smile on her face. She loved this. She loved that I was failing because I correct her when she makes mistakes. I only corrected her so she didn't continue looking like a moron in front of the class.

"I can assure you that during tests, I only think about what the answers to my questions are."

"That may be. But what about homework? Is your _brilliant_ head all there when you're doing work at home?" she asked.

"Of cour-" but then I held my tongue. No. I _wasn't _all there. Recently, whenever I've done my homework, Jacob had been there.

Carble could tell that she'd gotten through and held out my past test paper with the large 'F' circled in the corner.

"Have your parents check this over, I think they should know that you're currently failing my class." I took the papers from her hand and walked out without another word.

Abi was waiting for me outside.

"What took you so long?" she asked, but I said nothing and just held the papers out to her.

"What is this- an _F_?" she exclaimed. "Since when do _you_ get Fs? This is Carble, right? Is has her written all over it."

"Well of course it does, it's her handwriting that wrote that giant F."

"Smart-ass." She grinned, then she shot her hand out in front of me. "Hold up. That's _right_, and so's that and that is too. I took this same test too and my teacher told me those were correct."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Renesmee, she's _deliberately_ failing you. What a b-"

"Well, c'mon then. Let's go back!" I pulled her but she stiffened.

"She's gone. She left whilst we were walking. Tell her Monday or Tuesday." She insisted and we carried on walking through the front doors.

I was just about to slide into the driver's seat of the Mustang when Abi let out a gasp from the other side.

"Ohmigod." She said in an almost whisper.

"What?" I asked halfway through standing and sitting motion.

"Er, Renesmee , someone scratched your car – bad." I didn't say anything, I only moved round to her side of the car. And she was right, damn right. On the side of the car, from the bonnet to the rear was a long, jagged white line – impossible to miss against the red paint. I bent down to closely examine the damage.

"Who would've done this?" said Abi, pacing the line with her eyes. I gently pressed my finger to feel it. It was deep and thin. Too deep to be an accident and too thin to be from a bag. It was almost, _key_-like. Then the memory hit me as if someone had just touched me and projected it to me.

_Jacey's car keys_.

So _that_ was why she looked at me like that.

I stood up straight and looked behind Abi. The car next to us unlocked and Jacey lingered behind it. She acknowledged us and then 'just noticed' the scratch.

"Ooo, Renesmee – your car is scratched." She said playing innocently dumb.

"Well observed." I muttered.

"D'you know who done it?"

"Hmm, well, your car is right next to it and let's not forget that it's _your_ car – I dunno, the possibilities are endless."

She smiled sweetly but bitterly.

"Ok then, well, bye!" she waved and was about to walk off.

"Oh no you don't!" I said and she stopped. It wasn't as if I held her back, she just stopped and looked back.

"Why did you scratch my car, Jacey?" I asked, forcing myself to be civilised.

She shrugged. "I dunno, the opportunity was there so I took it."

"Oh really? Well, two can play at that game." Just as I said it, I launched my fist through her driver's window.

"What the-!" she screeched.

I shrugged. "The opportunity was there so I took it." I sprinkled the little bits of glass onto the ground. "I hope you've got enough money – cos' whatever that dent is going to cost _me_, it's going to cost _you_."

"Pfft – hell no. I'm not paying for that! You just broke my window." She snapped.

"That's fair enough." I kept an even tone. "I'll subtract a little from the full amount for the window. But you're still paying for it." I moved passed Abi to get closer to Jacey.

"I don't care how close you get to me – I'm _not_ paying." She insisted. A little fly made her flinch almost a foot away, she flapped her hands around like she was trying to fly.

"Stop it." I snapped and she froze. "I don't want to break anything else – just do us both a favour."

"Nope." She said proudly. I'd had enough.

"Hold on," I told her. "You've got an eyelash – it's really bugging me." I gently reached forward and got my thumb and index finger on either side of her nose and snapped it to one side. I felt the crunch under her skin and it sounded even worse. I took my head away in an instant and she clasped her hands round her nose.

"Oh my God!" she screamed. "You broke my freakin' nose!"

"Trust me a new window and a new nose will cost you less than-" blood started seeping through her fingers and gushed down her arm. Now, I couldn't smell anything else. I could only smell the sweet irony smell of the red liquid that was re-colouring her hands. The smell was so overpowering it was making me feel sick. I had never smelt that much human blood so fresh before. I could understand why others fed on humans, the smell was sensational. It tasted like a liquidised heaven! – what was I _saying_?

I had to get away from her.

"Abi, get in the car." I ordered as I stormed away from Jacey. As I put the car in reverse, Jacey stood back but started screaming at me as she removed her hands to reveal her bloodstained face.

"I'll get you Renesmee Cullen!" she screamed and we were out of the parking lot.

_Yeah, yeah. Join the club._ I thought.

Abi didn't say much on the way to my house except from a few 'Ohmigod's and couple of attempts at 'How did you-' and a _lot_ of scoffs in disbelief. I didn't speak at all, I only thought. And my one and only thought was: What have I done?

At my house, Claire's car was parked just out front. When she saw my car arrive, she got out.

"What the hell happened to your car?" she yelled, meeting us on the porch.

"Ohmigosh, Claire it was _amazing_! You should have been there!" Abi was so excited by it all, she looked like a child on Christmas morning. Claire shot me a look of concern, but I tried to avoid it.

"Oh really? What happened? Did she fly?" she asked her as I let them inside. I threw myself onto the couch, relieved that I could smell everything else again.

I sat there wordlessly whilst Abi harped on to Claire about what had happened with Jacey. She emphasised how I punched through her window without cutting myself, how I broke Jacey's nose effortlessly then that I ran almost immediately when her nose started to gush out blood. Every time Abi got excited about a bit of the story, Claire glanced at me with a vicious look. When Abi was done, Claire pretended to think it was amazing too, even though she knew damn well it wasn't.

"Renesmee, is it okay if I use your bathroom?" Abi asked.

"Sure, you know where it is." Those were my first words since the incident. When Abi was gone and out of earshot, Claire turned on me.

"Renesmee!" she snapped in a hushed yell. "Are you crazy! Why did you do that?"

"Because I was angry-"

"I don't care, control yourself. It's not the fact that you damaged another person or their property, it's _how_. _Effortlessly. Unscratched._ These all raise suspicion! I mean, look at Abi-"

"She thinks it's awesome!"

"She _would_. But if she knew the truth. If she knew the truth she would run five miles to get away from you. And another stupid thing you did that you add to your list – you _still_ brought her with you. You were recovering from the strong smell of human blood and you trap yourself in a car _with_ a human. You can't do that Renesmee, what if you couldn't control yourself? What if you had killed her?"

"But I _did_ control myself, Claire and I _didn't_ harm her. Besides, I think you seriously underestimate my blood management."

"One day I worry I'll _overestimate_ it."

Abi came downstairs minutes later and we spent the next hour or so doing various homework. Abi had to write an essay for a book they were studying in her class. Luckily for her, Claire had read that when she was at school, Claire graduated two years ago. I on the other hand had my nose in a chemistry book, finding the correct answers to the ones I supposedly got wrong on my test. I told Claire about Carble trying to fail me and she let slip a few curse words.

"Perfect timing." Said Claire. I peeked over my book to see them finish up the essay just as Jacob walked through the front door, along with Quil and Embry. I couldn't help but feel like a six year old with her friends round and now their parents had come to collect them. Weird.

"I thought you'd be here." Quil said to Claire as he shut the door behind him. "The Cullens' is usually the second place I look for you." She smiled at him, stood up and stretched like she'd had the longest sleep in history.

As the other two sorted themselves out, I scooted up on the couch just as Jake dropped his entire weight on the couch and put an arm round me.

"Okay, well – I've got you all day tomorrow, Cullen." Said Claire. "My lectures are not done, yet."

"Should I go and hang myself now?" I grinned.

"Geez, it won't be that bad. Fine, I'll just keep letting you know that what you did was wrong."

"What did you do?" Jacob asked. Damn it! Now I was going to get another lecture.

I sighed. "I'll tell you in a minute. Thank you, Claire!" I called to her as she walked out the door.

"Mine at nine?" she called.

"Fine!" I called and the door was shut. Now it was just me, Jacob and this empty house – where was everyone anyway? The question had only just dawned on me.

Regrettably, I told him about what happened with Jacey. He wasn't too impressed, but he didn't give me a lecture because Claire already had, but I knew she wouldn't be the only one.

"How much do you think the car is gonna cost?" I asked him.

"Around a grand." He said. "It's a brand new Mustang. Only Mustang will be able to fix it up."

I let out an exasperated sigh as I threw my head back and stared at the ceiling.

"I hate that girl." I muttered. He stroked my shoulder and rested his head against mine.

"Ness, don't worry about it. We'll get it fixed, and she'll pay."

I smiled and turned my head so that my lips found his. It was quiet, it was just the two of us. Perfect. I kissed him harder and eventually hooked one leg over so that I was sat on top of him. I ran my fingers through his hair and he pressed me close to him. I could have stayed like that forever. Minutes later I was lying underneath him on the couch.

Pure bliss.

If I have learned anything in my eighteen years, it's this: never declare pure bliss, because when you do, it comes crashing down. Now wasn't an exception, Emmett and Rosalie walked through the front door. Our lips instantly broke away and I looked straight at Emmett who was hiding muffled laughter behind his hand.

"Sorry Jacob. New couch, it means new rules. No dogs allowed on the couch." Said Rosalie

"And what's your excuse?" he shot back. Both Emmett and I sniggered and snorted. Rose snarled at him and headed upstairs, Emmett paused just behind her and said:

"Try not to make a mess on the couch." His words made my face flare a new shade of red.

"_Emmett_!" I snapped. He laughed and carried on up the stairs. I slid out from underneath Jake and sat up straight.

He rested against the arm of the couch on the other end and I scooted down to lie on his chest. When he kissed the top of my head, I felt myself slip off into sweet bliss again. And this time, nothing ruined it.

_**Hope you enjoyed it! I'll update again soon :) please review! and let me know if there is anything you want to see in this story! (if there is anything) x x**_


	10. The Truth

**Sorry I've taken so long to update - I went back to college. Just so you know, if I stop updating for a while, it's only because of college, not because I've given up on the story.**

**Hope you enjoy the latest addition! :)**

**THE TRUTH**

CLAIRE AND I SAT PEACEFULLY ON A PIECE OF DRIFT WOOD ON THE BEACH. WE HAD decided to hang out on the beach today. The place was deserted. Not that the weather was particularly beach type weather. Claire sat there, cross-legged, staring at the sea whilst I sat with a stick and drew in the sand.

"Are you still angry with me about yesterday?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I'm not angry with you, Ness. I just wish that you would think before you act. What if something were to happen to Jacey? – people will know that you two didn't get on so well. All fingers will point to you if they don't know who did. They would bring detectives into it and I'm pretty sure that the detectives would be able to sniff out the truth on you."

"Geez, you've really over thought this. Claire, it's gonna be fine. She's just gonna come into school on Monday with a larger than life white bandage on her nose. It'll be funny. And maybe she'll think twice before trying to harm my car again."

"It's only a car, Renesmee."

"But it's a pretty car."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Just be thankful that she didn't do anything to _you_."

We sat in silence for a little longer before decided to walk further up the beach. The further we walked, the windier it was. Luckily we were walking against the wind, so our hair wasn't blinding us as it flapped around everywhere.

"So what did you and Jake get up to after we left last night?" she asked, hugging her arms.

"Not much." I said blankly.

"_Not much_?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Claire, stop making everything sound so suggestive. Nothing happened. Same as nothing happened last week, or the week before that or before that."

"Alright – no need to get all defensive!" she sniggered. I rolled my eyes and looked at the annoying smirk on her face.

"Okay – how about I make you a deal. _You_ stop asking about '_how things are going_' and I'll tell you when something happens, deal?"

"Renesmee, you won't tell me. I know you won't." she paused for a moment. "Do you ever think about it?"

"No, not really. Not yet anyway."

She looked at me and grinned.

"Liar."

"I'm _not_ lying. Would I lie to you?"

"Yes!" she laughed. "Of course you would."

"Minor lies Claire, minor."

"Lying to me about your virginity is _not_ minor."

"I'm still a virgin, Claire. And honestly, I don't think anything is gonna happen anytime soon." The smiled faded from her face and she frowned for a second.

"What do you mean?"

I sighed. "I just want to wait until everything is in the clear with my parents."

"Huh?"

"I want to wait until everything isn't new anymore. I want everyone to be used to the idea of us"

"You mean, you want your _parents_ to be accepting?"

"Completely." I muttered. "And I don't know how long that will take."

She shrugged. "It might not take as long as you think."

"I hope so."

I changed the topic then. I didn't want to talk about this anymore; it generally frustrated me when I tried to just think about it on my own.

We walked up the beach and eventually settled at the edge of the woods. We hadn't been sitting there for too long before Seth found us, followed by his sister, Leah. Great.

"Hey you two!" he smiled, sitting next to Claire.

"Hi." We said in unison. Leah just lingered behind us and said nothing.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Just went to visit Emily. Mom had a few things she'd done for her and so we opted to take things over."

"You _opted_?"

"Okay, so we were _told_ to go." He admitted with a grin. "What're you two doing?"

Claire threw an arm round my shoulder. "We're having a girl day!" she said happily. "Seeing as Renesmee pretty much left me for Jake, she owes me a Saturday."

"I see." He laughed. "Speaking of which – where is he?"

"He's with my mom." I told him. "Just hangin'."

Leah scoffed behind us. I wasn't sure if it was meant to be subtle or not – I'm guessing not.

"What?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "Nothing."

I caught a glimpse of Seth and Claire who were also looking at Leah, but more in a threatening way.

"Leah-" Seth warned under his breath.

"What is it?" I asked, a bit more demanding this time.

"It's nothing." Seth assured me.

"No it _is_ something." I snapped.

"Does it not bother you when Jacob hangs out with your mom?" Leah asked.

I eyed her carefully and slowly shook my head.

"Why should it?"

She scoffed. "Oh my- she doesn't know." I didn't know if she was talking to Seth and Claire or just speaking her mind.

"What don't I know?" I asked.

Seth stood up. "Leah, c'mon – stop it." He grabbed her arm but she shrugged him off.

"But Seth, I just started having fun." She grinned at me.

"Leah – there's no need for this." Claire stood up too. Now I stood.

"Okay, something is _definitely_ going on here. What is it?" Seth had given up trying to reason with her, now he was just trying to drag her away.

"Leah-" he said.

"Jacob used to be in love with your mom." She said. Seth froze and so did Claire. Both their eyes turned to me to see my reaction. But I didn't have one. It took several attempts for my brain to register what Leah had just told me. _Jacob used to love my mother?_

"W-what?"

"I just thought you should know about your boyfriend's past relationships. I'm surprised he didn't tell you."

"Leah – be fair." Said Seth. "It never turned into anything."

"Only because her dad was there. Trust me, if he'd stayed a few more months in Italy – I don't think Edward Cullen would've been your father."

"That's sick, Leah. Just stop it!" Claire snapped. "C'mon Renesmee." She grabbed my arm to pull me away but I yanked it back.

Unfortunately, Leah continued.

"So I suppose no one told you about what your father asked of Jacob whilst your mom was pregnant? Or how Jacob tried to get your mom to love him and to confess it?" she asked, walking closer to me.

"What favour?"

"Because you were killing Bella more and more by the day – your dad asked Jacob to get your mom pregnant if the she agreed to have you aborted. But seeing as your mother is one of the most stubborn – she still refused the abortion. Luckily for you."

"Renesmee-" Claire came forward again. "Let's go-"

"You knew didn't you?" I turned my attention to her. "You knew about my mom and Jacob and my dad and everything – _didn't you_?" my eyes were filled to the brim with tears.

"A lot of people know, Renesmee. No one wanted to tell you –why would we?"

"I don't know – maybe because I'm _your friend_?" I snapped. "You were complaining to me a while ago about not telling you things and me telling you minor lies – _you_ didn't tell me about Jake and my mom!"

"Because you're so happy! Why would I want to destroy your happiness when you were without if for fifteen years?"

"In case the wrong person told me. Obviously that is exactly what happened. Leah – the _worst_ person possible to tell me."

"I'm standing right _here_." Leah moaned.

"I really don't care, Leah."

I couldn't look at Claire anymore, or Leah or Seth. I began pacing. Thoughts going crazy in my head. It seemed so obvious now. I could remember how close Jacob and Bella had been before he left. I didn't think he had only been there to see me – he wanted to see my mom too. He had wanted to be with my mom the way he is with me. He wanted her to want him like she wanted and still wants my dad. So because he couldn't have Bella, he settled for her daughter. I'm the closest thing he could have to Bella.

My stomach was swinging side to side. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to crawl into a ball and die. I wanted to find my little shell and become a hermit crab again.

Leah's voice faded into my hearing "… but it wasn't all bad – he managed to steal a kiss or two from her."

I didn't know what happened next, but the hurt and rage that was bubbling inside me roared up through my arms and my right fist charged at the sound of the voice. My fist collided with something rock hard and I knew then that I had hit Leah.

Oh crap!

I'd hit Leah!

I was so gonna get it in the neck now.

I wiggled my fingers to make sure I hadn't broken anything. My knuckles felt soar but it was nothing compared to the anger building up on Leah's face. My automatic reaction was to apologize – but she didn't deserve an apology. She brought it on herself. Seth was trying the shield Claire away from a raging Leah who was on the brink of phasing.

"Renesmee, _run_!" Seth yelled as a thunderous rip came from where Leah stood. I was completely paralyzed for a few seconds as a giant snarling wolf stood in front of me.

"Renesmee!" Seth yelled again. This time, I ran.

I ran through the trees to I didn't know where. Leah was close behind me; I could hear the crunches of fallen branches and twigs and leaves.

_C'mon Renesmee – you have to beat her!_

Where could I lose her?

If I ran to my house, with a rabid Leah chasing after me – my family would protect me. But they're all liars. They lied to me!

I went with my gut and ran towards my home.

When I started to recognise the area of forest I was in. I jumped into the closest tree. Leah wouldn't be able to get me. I climbed the tree like my life depended on it – my life _did_ depend on it. My leg slipped on a branch. I grabbed another branch but my leg lowered slightly, enough for Leah to bite it. I screamed as I tried to push myself further up the tree.

When I was well out of Leah's reach, I clung onto a branch for dear life and waited her out.

It didn't take her long to calm down. After pacing around the tree, constantly looking up at me and snarling – she finally backed off. I waited a little longer, just in case this was a trap.

It took me a long time to get down from the tree. I limped home. Constantly on guard.

Because I was injured, I knew I had to go home.

At the Cullen house, I saw Claire and Seth stood in the doorway, talking to Bella and Jacob who were standing by the couch. Then Edward entered the room. If I wasn't so badly hurt – I would just walk away. But I needed to rest my leg. I limped up the front porch steps, Seth and Claire turned.

Edward was at the door in an instant.

"Renesmee – what happened?" he came out the door to try and help me, but I refused any help. I felt the sudden urge to cry.

"Leah bit me." I muttered and headed for the stairs, walking straight past Bella and Jacob, ignoring them both.

"Renesmee, you need to go to the hospital-" Claire started.

"I'm _fine_ Claire." I snapped "I've got bigger problems than a damn wound."

"Renesmee, Seth told us what happened with Leah." Said Bella. "Can we _please_ talk about this?"

I was part way up the stairs when I stopped and turned to her. "You want to talk?" I said. "You've had eighteen years to talk, so don't act as if you haven't had time to do it. The only one who hasn't had eighteen years is Jacob-" I turned my attention to him. "But you've had a month. It doesn't take long."

We held each other's gaze for a few seconds. The look on his face was so pained that I cried. I stood there on the stairs and started crying.

Jacob joined me on the stairs. He reached for my hand and held it to his chest.

"Renesmee – I'm really sorry. I _was_ going to tell you, when the time was right-"

"And w-when was the time going to be right?" I choked on my tears.

"When I knew that I wouldn't lose you." He said.

"Look, Jacob – I appreciate that it wouldn't be the most comfortable of conversations, but if you had just told me. Of course I would be upset, I would be upset if you told me tomorrow or if you told me fifty years from now. I would be upset – but at least I'd know that you were being honest with me." I took my hand out of his and continued walking upstairs. Annoyingly, it was harder to turn my back on Jacob than anyone else. But he needed to see that I wouldn't let everything slip just because he imprinted on me. He needed to understand that when I was upset – I was _upset_. My parents weren't going to get off too light either. They'd had plenty of time to tell me about this – but they chose not to. And they chose wrong.

I never moved from my bed. I laid there as the morning stretched into the afternoon, into twilight and eventually into night. My head hurt from all the reasoning I had tried to do with myself. By now, I was willing to reason with Claire and the others, I was prepared to hear my parents out and I was desperate to forgive Jacob. A couple of hours ago, I heard my parents leave the house for their cottage. Carlisle had returned home from his shift and Rosalie had hovered a few times outside my room. But things had quietened down now, not that anyone was sleeping.

According to my alarm clock – it was nearly midnight. The moon was high in the sky and my room was lit by nothing but moon rays. The cool night air drifted through my open window and often brushed the tip of my nose and skimmed my blotched cheeks. There were roughly a dozen scrunched up tissues scattered around me like a dotted white line.

After returning home, Carlisle had spent some time with me – fixing my leg and trying to reason with me. At that time, I was still annoyed and didn't want to think about anything rationally. But he had given me things to think about. Things like "If no one had told you about your mother and Jacob – would you have ever suspected anything?" – which at the time I said probably, eventually. However, now I think – maybe not.

I felt myself start to drift off into sleep when I heard a noise outside. At first I just suspected a bird and ignored it, but when it sounded again and louder – I looked.

Jacob.

He was stood on a thick branch just outside my window, leant against the trunk with his arms folded. I didn't know if he could see the small smile that fluttered onto my face. I pushed myself of my bed and headed towards my slightly open window. Now was the time he would know if I was still angry. If I shut my window – he'd be better off to just leave me alone. But if I opened it more...which I did.

I didn't smile at him; I just opened it further and walked back to my bed. Seconds later, I heard his feet as they dropped to my floor.

"You let me in?" he said walking behind me.

"I did." I replied, nestling on my bed again.

"Ness, you need to understand how sorry I am." He begged as he sat on the edge of the bed. "I never wanted you to be upset, that's why I didn't tell you. But you were right – what you said earlier, about me just being honest with you. I owe you that much."

"You do owe me. And I forgive you." I said, moving slightly closer to him. "Let's just have honesty time now – you have now to tell me anything that I should know."

He looked at me for a few seconds.

"There is nothing else. You already know what you need to know." Then he smiled. "Your turn."

I sighed and moved so close that we were almost nose to nose.

"I do have one little thing that I should tell you. Something you may not know."

"What is it?"

"That I love you." I smiled and pushed my lips against his in a desperate attempt to forgive and forget.

That was the first night Jacob slept at my house, with me, in my bed. It was so weird. I found myself constantly waking up during the night just to make sure that he was still there and hadn't left. It was when I woke up around five thirty that I found him awake too – watching me.

"Were you watching me sleep?" I asked, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Maybe." He smiled. I giggled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "I couldn't resist." He admitted.

"Neither can I." I said kissing him again. We lay there in silence with my head resting on Jacob's shoulder and his chin resting on my head. The sun had started to rise before either of us spoke.

"Y'know, whilst I watched you sleep – I realised something." he said, brushing my arm with his thumb.

"Mm?" I said.

"Last night was the first time you've told me that you love me. Like you _really_ love me."

"Trust me-" I sighed. "I could tell you every second for the rest of my life that I love you and that still wouldn't be enough."

He kissed my head and squeezed me tightly.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?" he asked.

I smiled. "One or two times, and even at times yesterday – I still believed you."

**I quite liked this chapter - let me know what you think! Please Review! :) x**


	11. Impulses

**Okay, here's another update (just whilst college is quite) Hope you like it! :)**

**IMPULSES**

I'D FORGIVEN MY PARENTS FOR THE PAST, I WAS STILL A LITTLE IRRATATED THAT THEY hadn't told me, but then again I was still irritated with a few people for not telling me. I'd spent Sunday morning and early afternoon with Jacob, then I went over to Claire's to end up hearing more of her apology vomit. Eventually I got round to forgiving her after she tried to explain herself for the sixth time.

Abi and Eli didn't know about me finding out, but what did it matter to them? – they didn't even know about the whole thing. I parked my car in between Eli and Abi's in the school parking lot on Monday morning. They both lingered behind Eli's car and waved to me as I parked. As I got out of the car, I caught a glimpse of the white line on the other side of my car reflected on the side of Abi's car.

_I'm gonna get her back for that_. I thought. _She _will_ pay_.

"Good morning." Abi smiled.

"Hi." I smiled as I joined them, my mind still on my car.

"Good weekend?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Alright, had worse, had better. How was yours?"

"Good, very good." Her smile widened and the bell rang. Time for the torture to start up again.

We lingered by Eli's locker for a while whilst we waited for the crowds to die down. Eli was asking Abi about her mom's new living room furniture, whilst I gazed into space.

"You're gonna pay for what you did to my nose, Cullen." A voice spat right next to my ear. I didn't need to look to know who it was. Jacey. After all, how many people's noses had I broken in my life?

"And _you_ still haven't paid for my car. Gonna cost you eight hundred-" I held out my hand. "Cough up."

She smacked my hand away and walked closer to me, we were practically nose to nose. If anyone pushed her from behind, she'd probably end up kissing me.

"Surely a month is long enough for you to realise – _don't_ piss me off. When I get mad enough, the person who caused it will regret the day they were born." I think she smiled slightly, but I couldn't see much beyond the thick white bandage. "And guess what?- you're one of those people who are pushing it."

I laughed and gently pushed her back with the tips of my fingers.

"Look – you're messing with the wrong girl Jacey. Seriously. Just give me the money and all balance will be restored." Asking for her money had made me feel like being a part of a mafia, it sent little chills down my spine.

"You're not getting anything from me – the only thing you're gonna get is my fist in your face." She spat. Well, this could turn out interesting.

Before I could say anything, Abi came and stepped between us.

"Okay- let's break this up now, before things get too far shall we?" she said, pushing me away from Jacey.

"This isn't over!" she snapped at me and stormed away. I lingered by the lockers for a while, watching her until she was completely out of sight.

"Are you _trying_ to get yourself expelled?" snapped Abi as she pushed me in the opposite direction, urging me to walk.

I had been on guard all day, and with gym in last period, I could finally let off some steam. When Abi asked me earlier if I was trying to get myself expelled, I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn't get expelled, not again. If I was expelled from this school – then I would never go to school again. Ever.

Abi and Eli had made constant remarks on my quiet mood all day. At lunch they kept reminding me that I was being very quiet and asked what was wrong. By the end of it, Abi had the idea that I'd had a rough weekend – which I'd had, but it wasn't the reason for my silence. I now felt as if I was walking on egg shells. Maybe I had been before, but I just hadn't noticed until someone told me.

Maybe I had been destined to be expelled from the start.

After gym, I felt a little better – but not completely. In the locker rooms, I quickly dressed myself whilst Abi took her time changing her clothes.

"Okay- I have a theory." She said, pulling up her jeans.

"A theory?" I asked. "For what?"

"For why you're being like you are." She paused for a moment. "Is it because of what Jacey said to you earlier? Y'know the whole this isn't over and you'll regret the day you were born thing?"

I froze and stared at my locker. Something I'd learnt from my family whilst growing up was sensing threat and danger. I could sense it now – bad. I managed to drown out the voices of the other girls and Abi. Now I could only hear footsteps, echoing slowly.

I could sense her.

I could smell her.

Jacey was standing right behind me, and she was mad.

I dodged to the side to face her, but as my face turned, her fist skimmed my nose and collided with the locker. You didn't need immense hearing skills to hear the crunch of her knuckles as they became practically imbedded in the locker.

The whole of the room went silent and all eyes turned to Jacey as she pulled back her now broken hand and fell to the ground, clinging the hand to her chest. Her friend Phoebe came over to help her up, but Jacey wanted anything but. She fought off any helping hands with her unbroken one.

She was gonna be popular at the hospital.

A few minutes passed and no one moved. Coach Radley was in her office and no one dared to help Jacey at the moment.

Finally, she looked up at me. Tears threatened to spill over her eyes and her breathing was slow but stuttering as she tried not to cry.

She opened her mouth to speak "Look at what you're doing to me-"

"_Me_?" I gasped. "You're the one who punched my locker."

"I was aiming for _you_!" she screeched. "But no – you moved. Of _course_ you moved. Nothing _I_ do can harm a single hair on your pretty little head." I swallowed, louder than anticipated.

"Jacey I-"

"I _don't_ want to hear it." She muttered.

"But-"

"Shut _up_!" she stood up, slower than she wanted but as fast as she could in her condition. "_Everything_ was fine before you came here. Before _you_ came here, no one had heard of Renesmee Cullen. No one suspected anyone, everything was normal. I was me, and no one ever tried to change that. Sure – its normal for people to whisper about the new girl for the first couple of days, but not months. Most guys just flirt with the new girl for a few days to make her feel welcome, but they don't label her as the hottest thing about this school." Her eyes were red with tears and fury. She paused for a moment and started backing me into the dented locker. "Yeah, back then was good. Back then _you_ didn't exist. Back then things were normal." She paused again. "But I know something that hasn't changed – no matter how much you try to redeem them; we still think your family are _freaks_."

For me, that was the last straw. My hand flew up and grabbed her tightly round the neck. Everyone around flinched away and anxious whispers jumped from everyone.

"Don't you _dare_ say a word against my family. _I'm_ your problem, not them." I snarled through gritted teeth. Jacey now looked generally terrified with her face gradually going a deep red. This time, Abi didn't try to calm me down – I think I may have scared her too. But for the moment, I was too angry to care. My fingers were tightening around her neck on impulse – but I had to stop.

_Stop it, Renesmee! You'll kill her!_

I suddenly released her throat and she bent over taking in deep breaths.

"Alright – what's going on in here?" boomed Coach Radley's voice from the door. My heart was pounding in my chest – I had very nearly killed her. A few more seconds and I would have crushed her throat.

I felt the tears that started to threaten to spill. Coach Radley rushed to Jacey's side, who still looked like she was recovering from an asthma attack. Some others began to join her side as Coach helped her up. This time, she didn't refuse help.

I was pretty sure the bell had rang long ago to signal the end of classes, but we hadn't heard it.

After Coach had helped Jacey out and taken her to the nurse's office, the others had piled out too. Some followed Jacey, but most just went home or met up with friends. That left me and Abi, alone.

I was surprised she stayed, after what she had just seen I would have taken the first opportunity to leave if I were her. But she stayed. Maybe she was going to lecture me. Maybe she was going to tell me how much I scare her sometimes or all the time. But she just stood there.

My mind thought back to the terror in Jacey's eyes and the girls around us when my hand was tightening round her neck. I had seen fear like that in people's eyes before, I could remember a lot of it from when I was younger and my family were just getting used to me. As well as when we all once stood in that clearing, preparing for the Volturi and their army. Some thought I was going to die that day and all of them would let themselves die first before anything happened to me.

I suppose, technically speaking, my family wasn't just my parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents. All those who came from other parts of the world to stand as witnesses to my innocence, who stood there to protect me, whether they were a human drinker or a 'vegetarian', a full vampire or a hybrid, a vampire or a wolf. To me, they were all my family.

Of course, _they_ weren't the family Jacey was referring to. The Cullen family was who she was referring to and that was a part of my family that she did _not_ want to say a word against, if she knew what was good for her.

My family aren't freaks – they're not _human_, but that doesn't make them freaks. To be honest, they're superior. Unlike Jacey and every other person in this place, my family have defeated mortality. They have forever, whereas everyone else has about eighty years on them.

As I left my thoughts, I looked over at a still slightly stunned Abi. I wanted to say sorry, but I couldn't form the words. I had scared myself. When Abi didn't say anything, I slid down the locker and put my head in my hands as the tears spilled from my eyes.

The more I cried, the more it hurt. Maybe I was over reacting, but recently my emotions had been running high. What with being a raging monster on Friday, a hurt and upset child on Saturday and now an unpredictable potential killer on Monday. Geez, no wonder I was crying.

I sat there crying for a few more minutes before I felt an arm slip round my shoulder and a chin rest on my head.

"It's okay." Abi said softly, hushing me at the same time. "Don't cry."

But that only made me cry harder.

It took another five minutes for me to calm down, Abi started to talk to me more – trying to take my mind of things, trying to make me laugh and to smile.

"Feeling better?" she asked, squeezing my shoulders.

"Yeah." I sniffed. "Thank you and I'm really sorry if I scared you."

"I'll admit you _did_ scare me at first – but hey, she had it coming. What she said about your family was completely uncalled for. I love your family, they're great – and they are definitely not freaks. And you, well, if you hadn't started at this school a lot of great things wouldn't have happened."

"Of course, you wouldn't have met Embry. Or you might have – just later in life, maybe."

"That, and I wouldn't have met you, or Claire or your family or Jacob-"

"Jacob!" I gasped, standing up in a flash. "He's waiting for me outside! I completely forgot."

I threw my bag over my shoulder as Abi pulled on her sweater.

"Hold on, you can't let him see you like this." She was obviously talking about my blotchy cheeks. Darn my cheeks!

Abi opened her bag and started to shove some kind of foundation on my cheeks to even out the colour.

"Okay- that is _definitely_ not your color, but neither is blotchy red." She smiled and put it back in her bag.

Outside, the parking lot was practically empty. Except from mine, Abi's, Eli's and a few other's cars. Eli was talking to Jacob, who was stood against the back of mine.

"Before we graduate would be nice." Called Eli as we reached them.

"Sorry." I half smiled at him as I went to see Jacob.

"Hi." He smiled.

"Hey."

"You missed the ambulance! It took someone away, didn't see who though." said Eli. Abi caught my eye, and I showed her a concerned looked.

"Don't worry." She mouthed to me. "Anyway! I'd better get going. Y'know me, little miss leave things til' the last minute. I've got three assignments to do fro tomorrow and I haven't done a single one of em'. Better make some coffee. I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

"See ya!" Eli called as he got in his car too. I moved behind my car with Jacob to make sure we didn't get hit by either of the reversing cars. I waved to them as they drove past and they were out of the lot.

"Alright, I guess I'll be the first to ask what the hell happened to your face?" Jacob held my chin and examined my lightly 'tanned' cheeks.

"Nothing." I wriggled my head of his grasp.

"Are you wearing make up?"

"Maybe."

"Why? You don't wear make up." He insisted,

"It's not mine, it's Abi's. Which is clearly too dark for me." I said, wiping some of it off with my hand.

"Orange isn't your color."

I started to laugh. "It's _not _orange." I insisted.

I unlocked the car and got in.

"Are you kidding?" he laughed as he got in. "If I put your head next to a fruit bowl I would have thought one of my oranges were floating in midair."

Once we were at my house, I immediately washed the makeup off my face. The blotches had gone so I had no use for any make up now.

"That's better." Jacob grinned. When I left my bathroom, I found him lying on my bed, reading one of my English essays he's found in my book. I sat on his stomach as I pinched the paper out of his hand.

"That's pretty good stuff."

"Don't sound so surprised." I scoffed, throwing the paper off my bed. As it floated to the floor, I leant forward and started to kiss Jacob.

"It's not finished."

_Kiss_.

"Are you going to finish it?"

_Kiss_.

"Duh? It's homework."

_Kiss_.

"It'll be good when it's done."

_Kiss_.

"Is my English paper really the sexiest thing we can talk about?" I sat up again, moving my hair behind my ears. Jacob sat up too with me now on his lap.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked, running his hand down my back.

"Not school. Anything but school. I don't want to even think about it. All I want to think and talk about is here and now. That's it."

He smiled "That can be arranged." And he pulled my lips in for another kiss.

The next few hours went on like that, without any disturbance which was something new for this house. Normally, my parents would come over from their cottage or Emmett would just happen to be innocently walking by my room.

It was around ten before Jacob went home, which was pretty earlier than usual.

"I'll be over when you get home tomorrow." He said, standing between steps on the front porch.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." I smiled at him as I pulled at his shirt for a kiss.

"I love you." He said between kisses.

"I love you too." I smiled.

I woke on Tuesday morning with my face buried in my pillow. The darkness made me think it was still night, but the heat made me realise it was day. And as I turned over I realised it wasn't only morning, but it was a _sunny_ morning.

Sun day!

No school!

After yesterday's events, I _needed_ today off. I needed my mind to refocus and be fresh ready for Wednesday or Thursday or whenever the sun disappeared again. For a while I laid in bed, letting my skin gently glisten in the sunrays. It had been ages since I'd felt the sun rest on my skin, and it felt heavenly.

Around eight thirty, I got out of bed and had a shower. As I washed my face with a sponge, there were still faint orange blotches appearing on it. Christ, that stuff is resistant.

After drying my hair, I decided to head over to Jacob's. I could give him a little surprise, well, it wouldn't be a surprise when he saw the sun was out.

"Hi mom, hi dad." I said at the top of the stairs. In an instant I was at the front door with my keys. My parents were still sitting on the couch. "Bye mom, bye dad!" I called out the front door. I'd always wanted to do that, but I was usually stopped for something. Normally by Edward. But this time they didn't say a word, except from "Morning" and "Bye!"

The sun was still shining when I got to La Push, there weren't many clouds in the sky. But the wind was still nippy. Although it was bearable without a coat, the wind still had a sharp chill to it.

Bring on winter!

I parked the Mustang outside the house and knocked gently on the front door. It was only just nine thirty, I wasn't sure if anyone was awake. However, seconds later, Billy opened the door.

"Renesmee." he smiled. "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

"Hi Billy, sorry to turn up unexpectedly-"

"Don't worry about it – this is your home too. I was actually just on my way out. . . to see your grandpa, actually. So don't worry – I'll be out of your hair."

"Oh! Tell him I said 'Hi', won't you?"

"Sure thing." He quickly looked behind him. "Jake's still asleep – he wasn't expecting to see you until later."

"It's alright, I'll wait for him to wake up."

After Billy had left, I took a peek in Jacob's room and, as expected, he was far away in dreamland. Before I shut the door, I noticed something on his night stand, something I hadn't noticed before. A photograph. It was an average sized photograph leant against a box stood on top of a much bigger box.

I quietly walked over to the photo, desperate not to wake Jacob. As I picked the photo up, I saw that it was a family. But not just any family, it was Jacob's. He was very young in the picture, with his two sisters Rebecca and Rachel, Billy and a woman who I didn't recognise. His mother. This must have been taken not long before she died.

"We don't have many pictures of my mom." Said Jacob. His voice startled me and I almost gave myself whiplash looking in his direction.

"Why not?"

He sat up on his bed. "Because she didn't like having her photo taken, generally."

I looked back at the photo again. "That's a shame," I sighed. "She was a very pretty woman." I placed the photo on the box again and turn to Jacob,

"I wasn't expecting to see you here." He said, leaning back on his elbows. I pointed to the window.

"It's sunny, which means it's pretty much a snow day for me."

"Great! What do you wanna do today?"

I shrugged and sat on the bed. "I don't mind." I said, leaning in to kiss him. After a few seconds, I pulled away slightly, but our noses where still touching.

"What?" he asked quietly. I hesitated to answer.

"Sorry, I'm just used to interruptions. But I suppose we won't get any." I reassured him, and then I pushed my lips forward so that they were practically inseparable from Jacob's. I was so used to something stopping us from kissing, that I had somehow learned to control the sensation I felt whenever our lips touched. I then realised, this was it. This was the moment I had wanted for ages. The moment where Jacob and I were finally able to kiss and embrace passionately to our heart's content. As there was nothing to stop us. No parents, no Emmett, no public places, nothing!

Jacob's hands were wrapped round me. They slowly slid down to embrace my lower back. His body gently pushed against mine, causing my body to fall backwards and lie down on the bed. A sensational energy ran through my veins like blood. It was like an extreme adrenaline rush, which caused my heart to race as fast as the speed of sound. I could even hear my heart pounding in my ears, and I was pretty sure Jacob could too. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering, bouncing and trying to break free within me.

I had to stop this, I couldn't do it. Not now, not yet. Even though I wanted to, so, so badly, there was still a part of me which was telling me to stop. Unfortunately, I went with that part. I broke my lips away from Jacob's, but he moved down from my lips to my neck.

"Jake... _no_." I pleaded as I sat up. My change in position broke his lips away from my body. Jacob looked at me for a few seconds, slightly surprised, slightly sympathetic.

"What's wrong?" he asked. My hands dropped to my lap, and I stared at them as I began to shake my head.

"I can't, I'm sorry." I apologised. Jacob was silent for what felt like ages, and this didn't make me feel any better.

"What are you talking about? I thought – I thought you _wanted_ this?" he questioned.

"I do, I _do_. It's just..." I trailed off. I finally looked up at Jacob, into his calm but concerned eyes.

"You're worried about what Bella will think?" he said blankly.

"More Edward than Bella, to be honest." I admitted.

"Why?" he asked. The fact that I was eighteen was making me look pretty stupid, I was legal and yet I was _still_ worrying about my parents.

"Well, Jacob, you _know_ what he's like. I kissed you and I was afraid of being in the same room as my dad after that. God knows what I'll be like if I've _slept_ with you. I'll probably flee the state and change my identity." I laughed quietly, Jacob laughed with me.

"I dunno what _you're_ worried about. _I'm_ the one who big daddy bloodsucker will get castrated." he laughed, he soon turned serious again "But listen, it's up to you. I'm not gonna force you to do anything you don't wanna do."

_What did I do?_- I thought to myself, _What did I do to deserve someone like him? Did I save the president's life? Did I create a simple tablet that could kill cancer with just one dosage?_-This was considered a pretty big step in a relationship (not as big as marriage, but still big), and most guys would be all for it and wouldn't take no for an answer. It made me feel quite guilty in some way. Of course, _I_ was only eighteen. But Jacob was a lot older than that, technically he was in his thirties. He was nearly a forty-year old virgin (I hoped).

"Thank you." I said quietly "But I promise, I will steal your purity someday soon."

"I look forward to that." He laughed.

I leaned closer to him and was about to kiss him when there was sudden laughter in the distance outside. Both our heads turned to look out the window.

**Hope you enjoyed the latest addition! :) I'll update soon! Please review! x**


	12. The Vision

**Here's the latest addition to Full moon! :)**

**THE VISION**

COMING OUT OF THE WOODS, SETH WAS THE FIRST ONE I SAW – FOLLOWED BY EMBRY, then Quil and Claire and finally a seriously irritable Leah. I hadn't seen Leah since Saturday, and our last meeting wasn't exactly the most civil. When I saw Claire with Quil, I spent a split second wondering why Abi wasn't with Embry – _then_ it hit me.

"Jake!" Seth called, cupping his hands round his mouth. Jacob sighed and rested his forehead against mine.

"I forgot they were coming. But I wasn't expecting Claire." He told me. I smiled and kissed his lips.

"Well, better not keep them waiting." I said, pushing myself off the bed. "C'mon… and put some clothes on." Jacob looked around himself, a little embarrassed. I grinned and left the room.

I met up with Claire and the wolves outside. I caught Leah giving me a cold stare but I dismissed it.

"Careful you don't get expelled again, Cullen." smiled Claire. "The school don't like it when you miss days to spend time with your boyfriend."

"I think my skin condition is a good enough excuse to say that I'm incapable of attending classes, _actually_." As I said that, I crossed over the line from shadow to sunlight and the diamonds shimmered from my pours.

"Yeah, the walking disco ball thing may cause a distraction for the other students." Embry sniggered. "Maybe it _is_ better that you don't go in."

"At least I _can_ actually come outside. I'd rather burst into a million diamonds than burst into flames."

"Technically, you _could_ go in-" said Quil, "Just say you had a bad experience with glue and glitter."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Okay – are we done joking about my _inherited _reaction to sunlight now?"

"I hope you're all not trying to wind up my Renesmee?" said Jacob, coming up behind me. I stepped back a little to be at his side.

"Why would we do that?" grinned Quil. I rolled my eyes at him and pretended he never said anything.

"Wasn't expecting to see you, Claire." Said Jacob, putting a hand round my waist.

She shrugged. "It was a sunny day, Quil said he was coming over here and Renesmee being Renesmee I knew that she wouldn't be at school and I guessed this could be a good place to find her. And here she is." Claire and I smiled at each other.

"You know me too well." I told her.

"No – I think _anyone_ could've guessed you were here."

I found myself looking at Leah again, still looking unimpressed. Why was she even here? Considering it was a sunny day, surely she would've guessed that I would be here too? I guess my punching her in the face gave her the first _real_ reason to hate me. The rest of the hate was just unnecessary prejudice if you ask me. Was she here to apologise? But I knew straight away that I was stupid for even thinking it. Of course she wouldn't apologise.

Jake and the others had been talking whilst I dazed out.

"… it could work-" continued Seth. "Renesmee could have her team and then we could-"

"Oh no, no, no – I'm not having whatever this is turn into some kind of vampire verses wolves thing." I insisted, not actually knowing entirely what they were talking about. Then the memory clicked. When I was younger - before Jacob left, Jake and I used to play a game in the clearing near my house. It started out as just a one on one battle game. But over time, we renamed it 'Vamp vs Wolf'. Obviously, because I was so young Jacob let me win – he couldn't bear to see the disappointment on my face if I lost.

"Okay – _if_ we want to make it so you're against me alone. Then why not be upfront about it?"

"What d'you mean?" asked Seth. I looked at Jacob and smiled.

"Are you thinking what _I'm_ thinking?" I asked him.

After a couple of silent seconds, he smirked. "You're kidding, right?"

"_What_?" I whined. "It'll be fun."

"Ness, it's different now-"

"Of course it is." I grinned. "_I_ can beat you now, without you letting me."

The faint smirk disappeared from his face and was replaced with an unimpressed stare.

"That's not what I meant." He insisted. "Before – it was just you and me. Now it would be five against one-"

"Four." Leah corrected, obviously declining her invite.

"Fine, _four_ then. Either way, that's three more than you're used to."

"Jake, don't worry. Emmett taught me a thing or two, now it's my time to experiment."

He was going to argue again, but rethought his likelihood of winning. He knew that I didn't want this to be anymore than a game, I never had wanted to be anymore and never would. It was only meant to be fun. The winner was meant to be the last one to get tired, not the last one standing in the middle of a blood bath. I suppose the title of the game could sound a little sinister – but it was harmless really.

"So are we gonna play this Vamp verses Wolf game, or what?" urged Quil.

"Okay – well the title clearly states that humans shouldn't be involved in this. So I'll just be a spectator in the trees." She pointed tentatively at the woods behind her. But before she left, she looked at me.

"Just so you know Renesmee – if you end up hurting Quil in anyway-"

"I know, I know – I'll get in the neck later. Don't worry Claire, no one will get hurt. If anyone will get hurt it'll be me."

"Now _this_ I gotta see." Grinned Leah.

"Ness- I'm not sure we should do this-"

"_Jacob_. It. Will. Be. _Fine_. I promise – I was just reassuring Claire. But I don't think Leah should play, though – she'll probably eat me."

Leah had taken the hint, and she didn't play. Claire sat on the edge of the woods with Leah, whilst everyone else – except me – stripped down and phased. My mind started buzzing over the things Emmett had taught me years ago…

Whilst I had been sat in the house, waiting desperately for Jacob's return, Emmett decided one day to get me outside. At first it was just messing around, but eventually, it turned into something a bit more. He was teaching me ways to avoid attackers, and they weren't just your average duck and dodge moves. These moves were unlike anything I had ever seen. No karate required, just have vampire in you. Of course whilst Emmett had been demonstrating, he was able to do it better.

"Okay, Renesmee, run at me!" he instructed.

"_What_? No! You'll kill me!" I protested from the other side of the clearing. After being the teacher, Emmett roared into his usual booming laughter.

"Yeah, that's a good one kid, c'mon, I won't hurtcha." He insisted.

It wasn't easy to do but I did what he asked and bolted towards him. Although it was happening too fast for me to fully register, I neared Emmett and he disappeared. His sudden disappearance made me stop and skid to the floor. Emmett then casually walked over to me, staring down at me with his wide childish grin.

"Whatcha doin' on the floor?" he laughed, holding out his hand to help me.

"Where'd you go?" I demanded, taking his hand.

"I jumped Renesmee, trust me, when there's more than one person coming at you, it looks so much cooler!" he insisted.

I automatically rolled my eyes at the memory, not realising that the four wolves were waiting for me. The sun went behind a cloud and my skin's radiance died down – maybe they could take me a little more seriously now. The four of them were stood in a semi-circle, around me. I walked a little deeper into the circle and stood with my feet firmly on the ground.

Silence.

The beginning of the game was supposed to be the tensest part. It was about who made the first move – The Vampire or the Wolf?

I never liked to make the first move; I preferred to save up my energy.

Silence.

Now I felt like I _needed_ someone to move.

And as if on cue, Seth's front paws were the first to lash out. As he lunged for me, I jumped high into the now tense free air, just hitting my foot on his nose. That was the call for everyone to join in. As I gracefully landed on the ground, I saw a darker grey wolf bound towards me and leapt for me. I bent backwards so far, eventually forming my back into an arch with my hands gently touching the ground behind me. Embry's paws just skimmed my bare stomach. I pushed my body up into a stand again, giving me head rush doing so. After a sudden recovery, I turned my body at the sound of more heavy paws coming towards me. This time, it was Seth again. As Seth came towards me, his head lowered, focusing his vision on me like a hawk. I stupidly enough, ran towards him. When he was finally within distance, I jumped, but not too high. Instead my jump was just enough to twist over his body. My landing wasn't as graceful that time; in fact, I hit the ground, kicking up dirt as I skidded across. It was moments like that that I was extremely grateful I was a girl, otherwise that would have brought tears to my eyes.

I hurried to my feet before one of them could take advantage of this and attack me.

As I stood, I saw Quil in front of me, quite a distance away. It was his turn to face me. He began to pound towards me. However, the increasing volume of his paws as he came closer was not the only ones, I turned my head to look behind me and saw Embry coming at me from behind. My first instinct was to jump, but, they were probably expecting me to do that. Instead of going high, I went low. Once they were within a close distance, I threw myself to the ground and virtually flattened myself. Quil jumped over me, the same time Embry did. I heard a thunderous boom as the two wolves smashed into one another, neither of them had been expecting _that_ one.

The wolves began to move around, circling me almost. As if there was some sort of force field that stopped them from getting me. It then hit me; there was only one wolf (besides Leah) who I had not yet faced. Jacob. I couldn't see him, until I turned in the direction of the house. He was standing close behind me, not ready, not prepared, just standing. I casually walked towards the big russet-brown wolf, eyeing him cautiously, yet with a hint of seduction. I couldn't help but let a smug grin slip my lips. My gaze locked with Jacob's, I didn't know whether to be more alert or relaxed. Jake knew me better than any of the others, maybe whatever he decided to throw at me, he would also know what I would do to avoid physical contact with him. I heard a sudden snap of a small twig that was trapped under one of Jacob's paws. My mind immediately recognised the sudden alert that he was about to make his move. I slowed my pace as I circled him, waiting for his body to lunge.

Eventually, the wolf turned to me. I was waiting for him to run at me, but I decided that I would make the next move instead. I raced away from Jacob, trying to think as to where I should go. Within a second of me running, I could hear Jacob's paws as they bounded against the grass behind me. I raised my eyes and looked ahead; the trees immediately sparked an idea. I increased my speed towards the trees. Eventually I was within jumping distance of the trees, I had to act now, otherwise I would end up going smack into one.

As I jumped, I managed to land in the middle of two thick branches, making me feel slightly more stable. Jacob wasn't far below me at the bottom of the tree. I looked over my shoulder into the distance and saw the rest of the wolves casually approaching the tree. This was going to become quite difficult. Slowly, I lifted one of my legs and swung it over the branch. Once I had one leg on either side of the branch, I gently placed one leg on the branch and began to push myself up into a stand. I looked down again, to see all the wolves at the bottom of the tree. This was my perfect opportunity. Quickly, I flew off the branch, landing in the middle of the field. It had taken them a couple of seconds to realise that I was no longer on the branch.

I landed in a crouch. As I returned to me feet, I caught Claire's eye who mouthed 'Show off' to me before I turned to the wolves again. Jacob stood directly in front of me. If he was in human form right now, I knew he would've been smirking at me. I grinned at him.

Before I made my next move – I noticed a drop of water on my nose. I looked up at the blackening sky. I hadn't noticed how dark it had become. I definitely wasn't sparkling anymore. This was unbelievable. I couldn't play this in the rain! I wouldn't be allowed in my house if I arrived practically black in mud. Alice would murder me for ruining perfectly nice clothes, which I would never have to wear again. Esme would hate for my muddy shoes to even hover over the white carpet. But, then again, what else was I going to do to pass the time?

The rain poured in buckets from the thick, black clouds. The once dry field was now a mud bath, literally. I couldn't tell which wolf from which; they were all the same colour of mud. Unfortunately, I was the same. My hair was wet with drips of mud on the ends. The back of my jeans were covered in grass stains and mud. The back of my sweater was covered in mud, as well as hand marks on my front where I had absentmindedly wiped my muddy hands on it like a child. My face was pretty mucked up too, but not terribly.

As I leapt over Seth's back for a final time, my cell stared vibrating in my pocket whilst I was in midair. My change in concentration screwed up my landing – badly. As I landed, I twisted my ankle and collapsed into the mud. I yelped as the pain shot down my foot.

My foot went limp as I tried to fish my phone out of my pocket.

It was 'Home' – that could be anyone!

"Hello?" I said with a more pained voice than I expected.

"Renesmee? Are you alright?" It was Bella, and she sounded genuinely worried.

"Yeah mom, I'm fine – what's wrong?"

Jacob joined my side and crouched down next to me.

"We need to talk, can you come home?"

"Why? – what's wrong?"

"Just come home now, alright?" she paused. "Alice had a vision. It's important."

And she hung up. Well, she didn't need to tell me twice.

"Are you alright?" Jacob asked.

"I'm fine, just a twisted ankle. I'll survive. But I've got to go home." I told him as he tried to help me up.

"Why? What's wrong?"

I hesitated to answer. Telling him that Alice had a vision and that I _need_ to go home in the same sentence was no way to keep him calm.

"Alice." Was all I said, and judging by his face – I didn't need to say anymore.

Jacob parked my car on the drive way and got out in the pouring rain first. As he opened my door I yanked my hood over my head, not that it would make much difference. My hair was already dripping and muddy. I didn't notice until I got out, Jacob was equally muddy; I had to laugh a bit. As I shut my door, I looked up at my house and saw Esme peek round the corner of the now open front door.

"Renesmee Cullen and Jacob Black, _what_ have you two been _doing_?" she demanded. I looked at Esme, then at myself. She was right to be shocked. The contrast between her clean clothes and my mud-made clothing was phenomenal.

No doubt Emmett was sniggering inside, with what Esme was saying, and him not _actually_ having seen us, there was a small innuendo behind that.

"Sorry Esme, we were just playing-"

"-in the _mud_?" she demanded. I nodded. I wasn't really acting my age by playing in the mud. And Jacob was definitely not showing his maturity by encouraging me _and_ joining in.

We walked up the front porch steps to find my family standing around in the living room. I didn't want to go much further, the agonising feeling of tension and anxiety was pouring out of the room and almost strangling me.

"Wait, don't worry Esme, I'll deal with this." Emmett insisted as he passed Esme and came outside. I watched him closely as he opened the garage door and walked just inside. When he returned, he was carrying a long green hosepipe in his hands. I stumbled back slightly, knowing Emmett, he would put that thing on full blast and I would go soaring back into the forest. We were sent back to stand in the middle of the road.

"Okay, lift your arms." He ordered. I closed my eyes, and reluctantly I lifted them. Within that second of me lifting my arms, I was hit with a force a lot stronger and a lot _colder_ than rain. Emmett started the hose on my arms then moved it down my legs and eventually raised it to my stomach.

It was too cold to bear, but eventually both Jacob and I were clean – dripping wet – but clean. Jacob wrapped me in the towel as if I was a caterpillar in a cocoon as we sat down on one of the couches. I was absolutely freezing, and being in a room full of ice cold vampires wasn't any help. However, being cradled by a hundred and eight degrees Fahrenheit werewolf was very welcoming. Darn Emmett and his stupid hose!

Jacob was the first to ask: "So, what's going on?"

I had been thinking the exact same question. At first I looked over at Alice, who was sat with Jasper on the staircase, but when they didn't respond – I wasn't sure who would.

"We can't say that this surprises us –"Carlisle began. "We were expecting it to happen someday. The only surprise is - we never knew when."

"What is it?" I asked.

"The Volturi are coming to pay us a visit." He announced. My stomach dropped. My heart sank. But my heart pounded.

"W-why?"

"We shouldn't need to worry. I am sure they're just here to check up on you – to make sure you're still as innocent as what you were before."

"And if they're not?"

Edward cut in. "If they're not, then you run. Run when we tell you to and do nothing but."

"We can't just let her run." Jacob insisted. "If she runs, they'll notice she's gone. One or two of them will leave, then they'll be on her trail until they find her. Then what do we do when they do find her? We can't do anything because we don't know where she is. Someone needs to be with her, to protect her." He paused. "I'll go with her."

"Jacob, we'll need you to fight-"

"No," I snapped. "Dad, don't just go and put Jacob's life at risk-"

"Renesmee, _your_ life is more important."

"Thanks." Jacob muttered.

"Sorry Jake." Said Bella.

"But he's right." Jacob insisted. "You're more important."

I was about to protest again but he held a finger to my lips.

"_If_ you have to run, _if_ you have to – run to La Push. I'll set the pack up so they're ready for you. Once you're with them, you'll be safe."

"Are we all happy to just pick out innocent people and put their lives at risk here?"

Edward sighed, "Renesmee, it's for _your_ protection-"

"And what about theirs? And Jacob's and yours?" I asked. "Surely, _if_ anything goes wrong, it will be my battle – not yours."

"_Renesmee_!" Bella snapped. "This isn't a choice and isn't up for negotiating. It's official. Yes, we have to risk some people, but it's to keep you safe. So if we tell you to run – you _run_. You don't need to go far – the wolves protecting you in La Push sounds fine."

I started to accept that no matter how much I argued with Bella, she wouldn't change.

"We should probably go hunting-"suggested Alice. "We'll need energy if we need to fight."

"Alice is right." Said Carlisle. "Jacob, will you go and confront your pack now – let them know what's happening."

"Done." He said, standing from the couch.

"Well, I'll come hunting too." I insisted.

"Renesmee, you're _not_ fighting." Edward warned me.

"I _know_ – but if I'm the one who's got all this running to do, I'm gonna need energy too."

"Name the time and place?" asked Jacob.

Alice joined the group with Jasper. "The clearing, noon, tomorrow."

"_Tomorrow_?" I gasped.

"Got it." Said Jacob, leaving through the front door.

"Jake, wait!" I called, running out after him. "Please, can't we rearrange something?"

"Ness- what are you talking about?"

I was too panicked to notice how heavy the rain was out here.

"Can't you _not_ come tomorrow and wait for me in La Push?" I asked. "That way, if things don't go to plan – I'll run to _you_."

He held my shoulders tightly.

"Listen-" he began, I looked up into his deep, dark eyes. "I love you. You are the centre of my life, and I will fight _those _bloodsuckers to the end of the earth to keep you safe."

My heart melted in that second. However that didn't change the way I thought – much.

"No, Jacob. I'm not gonna let you-" but I was broken off by his strong hands pinning mine to my side and crushing his lips against mine. This kiss wasn't like the others. I didn't even feel a part of it, he was doing it all. It was more pushed and rougher. This kiss felt deliberate, _desperate_ even, unlike every other absentminded kiss we had shared.

And surprisingly... I _liked_ it.

I liked how now it wasn't emotions or desires or Jacob that kept our lips locks. Now, it was like a force of nature. The sensation was unexplainable. The last thing I felt was his hot breath collide with mine, then his soft yet strong lips let go of mine. However, our lips still moved aimlessly, close to each other.

"See, if I ever lost you, I would miss _that_." I whispered, still wanting to convince him to stay, but too overwhelmed to seem persuasive.

Jacob's lips grew into a small smile.

"I promise you – you won't lose me tomorrow, if you promise me to do this so that I don't lose you."

I stared at him for even longer. A tear left my eye as I whispered: "I promise."

**Hope you enjoyed it :) I'll update again soon! Please, _please_ review! x**


	13. I Must Run Away, But I Will Run Back

**Okay - here's the latest addition to Full moon with the Volturi! :O**

**Enjoy!**

**I MUST RUN AWAY, BUT I _WILL_ RUN BACK**

THE SUN WAS GONE BY WEDNESDAY MORNING. IT WAS ALMOST AS IF IT HAD NEVER BEEN here. Right now, I had never wanted for it to be a normal school day so badly in my life. Abi had called me the night before, wondering where I was. I told her I was ill and wasn't likely to be in today either. When talking to her my mood was depressant, my being ill was very convincing through that. I didn't like to say to her that I would be in on Thursday, because honestly – I didn't know.

I didn't know what I would do if so much went wrong today. What if by this time tomorrow I had lost my parents? My family?... My Jacob?

This week really hadn't been one of my best – but surely it could only get better.

As time ran ahead of me, I finally dragged myself out of bed. My eyes looked tired and wide in the mirror of my dresser as I ran my fingers through my barely knotted hair.

"Come on Renesmee-" I whispered to my reflection. "You can get through this – it'll be fine." of course my lying wasn't even convincing to myself – I blamed Bella for that.

On my night stand, my cell phone buzzed for a text message. I slowly walked over there and threw myself back onto my bed as I picked up the phone. It was from Abi.

'_Guess ur still pretty ill. Art is as boring as hell – please get better soon! Jacey asked about you this morning btw, she's wondering where you are. But not in a good way :S get better soon – I'll call u later _'

I gave her a small reply, not sure what to say about Jacey. I didn't think 'Jacey can burn in Hell' was the best reply to give, so I was civil. As hard as it was.

I turned my cell off after that. If I was going to receive calls and texts from anyone – I wanted it be _after_ we got back and I wasn't so tense. As I continued to mentally and unsuccessfully reassure myself that today wouldn't be so bad – there was light tap at my door.

I sighed, louder than intended. "Come in."

The door slowly opened ajar and Bella's head appeared from behind.

"Morning." She said, shutting the door behind her.

"Hi." I replied. Bella walked over to me and perched herself on the edge of my bed. I sat up.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Horrible. Miserable. Wish _people_ would let me think of another way."

She scooted closer to me and gently put a hand to my cheek.

"Renesmee-" she began, "I _know_ you're scared and I _know_ that you don't agree with our plan B, but you have to understand that it's for your own good. If things take a drastic turn – we don't want you stuck in the middle of it. We want to be able to fight knowing that you'll be safe somewhere far away."

"But _mom -" _my voice shook as tears formed in my eyes. "I don't want to lose any of you. You told me once about the newborn army and that you won, but this is different. Unlike the newborns, the Volturi will have tactics and plans. They won't go for the obvious moves; they've had hundreds of years to learn how to win battles."

The tears started to gently fall from my eyes and Bella put her arms around me.

"I promise you it'll be fine and that's a promise I will _never_ break." She said as she kissed my head. We were silent for a while, then she said: "You're scared for Jacob, aren't you?"

"Terrified." I sniffed and pulled back. "Mom, can't you say something to him to make him reconsider? Make him stay in La Push-"

"What can I say to him that you can't?" she said. "Renesmee, you know as well as I do that no matter how much you try to convince him, Jake will _always_ put your safety first. Let's face it – he wants to be there throughout so that he knows how much danger you're actually in. He wants to be there to know exactly when you're safe to stay and when you _need_ to run."

I slowly nodded understandingly, wanting to argue but not knowing what to say.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"What if things go _reall_y bad?" I asked.

"We were talking about that last night after you went to sleep. They're talking to Jake about it now." She paused. "You'll be happy to know, _if_ things start turning _really_ bad then we'll make Jacob leave too. Without an argument he has to leave and find you. From then on he'll have to do whatever it takes to keep you safe. But _if_ things turn out like that, you have to promise me something Renesmee…"

"I promise."

"You do exactly what Jacob tells you. No negotiation, no compromises – you just do what he says."

"Okay."

"And…" she paused thoughtfully, "take care of him. He's meant to keep you safe, but his heart isn't made of stone. I know that he once loved me, but it was nothing compared to how much he loves you. And you love him in a way that – I never did-" I stopped her from talking when I threw my arms around her.

"Mom - in case it doesn't turn out like we hope… I love you, and I forgive you for not telling me things and I'm sorry for ever being mad at you. But I will always love you, mom."

"I know – and I love you too. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and always will be. _Never_ forget that,"

"I won't."

We sat together in silence for a while before realising that it was time to leave. My heart was pounding the whole time we left my room and went down stairs. Everyone was ready and I caught Jacob's eye. He was stood near the front door.

"We're ready." Said Carlisle as we reached the bottom step. "Jacob, are your pack ready?"

"Yeah- Quil and Embry are at the border of La Push, Seth and Leah are waiting further in. It's all set."

"Good." Then Carlisle looked at me. "Renesmee, you know where to run?"

Reluctantly, I nodded. I didn't actually know specifically where I was running, all I knew was to run towards the reservation, I should find Quil or Embry on the way.

"The Volturi will be there soon." Alice announced.

"Then we'd best not keep them waiting." said Carlisle. "Let's go."

Jacob and I were the last to leave. We trekked through the woods, mainly in silence. Although I doubted it was a silent journey for my dad, everyone's thoughts were probably so loud that he wouldn't be able to hear anyone speak. My mind would occasionally fill with images of a blood bath; the rest of time was spent trying to think about something else. Every time my mind turned horrific, I loosened my grip on Jacob's hand. I was sure that my thoughts weren't reassuring him.

When the clearing was becoming visible through the trees – I wanted to run, and I wanted to take them all with me.

"Jacob- we'll take Renesmee into the clearing." said Edward. "Stay hidden in the trees until you're needed. You may pose as a threat and that's the last idea we want to give. As long as we don't show threat, then the Volturi won't either."

That made me feel a fraction better and my heart rate slowed a little, but it was still hurting my chest with its pounding. Jacob looked at me, he wasn't keen. I knew _that_ much.

"_Please_…" I mouthed to him.

He sighed. "Alright. But as soon as it looks-"

"As soon as anything goes wrong, we'll want you to join."Edward assured him.

Jacob stopped at the border of the forest. Carlisle cautiously stepped into the clearing, he moved like a deer – careful and alert. Everyone else slowly followed after him, except from me and Jacob. When we were alone in the trees, we turned to each other.

"Thank you for waiting here." I said, taking his other hand.

"You know I don't want to-"

"I know. But you can at _least_ stay hidden unless you're needed."

He sighed as he wrapped his hands round my back and pulled me close.

"Ness- in case things don't turn out so good-"

"_No_." I snapped. "Jake it'll be _fine_. That's what I'm trying to convince not only myself, but everyone too. I've already said goodbye to one person today and that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do – I don't want to do it again and _especially_ not with you-"

He cupped my face in his hands. "I want you know that I love you. And if, _if_ things don't turn out well, I want you to promise me that you won't stop living because of it. You have so much potential that you mustn't waste it." He went to kiss me but stopped just before he kissed my lips. "It hurts me to imagine you spending the rest of your life without me , but it _kills_ me for you to not live your life at all." Then he kissed me. I was trying not to cry, I was trying so hard and the lump in my throat was becoming unbearable.

"They're coming." said Alice from the clearing. Her words punched me in the stomach as I broke away from Jacob.

"I have to go." I whispered to him. I went to leave for the clearing, but Jacob grabbed my arm.

"Remember you're promise – _run_." He told me. He released me and went back to phase. Before he was gone and the wolf appeared, I joined my family in the middle of the clearing.

It was quiet. Silent. Deadly silent.

All our eyes were on the other side of the clearing where Alice said they would appear. Carlisle stood in front, him being the closest to the Volturi. I stood just behind him with my parents.

Just then – figures appeared from the trees.

First, three pale figures, dressed in black. As they walked into the clearing, three more appeared behind them. I knew the first three were Aro, Marcus and Caius. The other three were two men and a girl who looked not much older than me – but she wasn't Jane. I didn't recognise her. One thing I did notice was her platinum blond hair that fell in frizzy curls.

Aro stopped a few feet in front of us, as did the others.

Now I was sure my heart was close to an attack.

Edward could sense how scared I was – but there was nothing he could say to reassure me now. We were in the presence of the Volturi and we needed to act normal for this to run smoothly.

"Carlisle, how wonderful to see you. Seems like only yesterday we were here." Aro greeted Carlisle with a pleasant smile.

"Indeed it does." Carlisle looked slight beyond Aro. "I see you have a new member."

"Ah yes, this is Lauren. She is one of our latest joiners – and she possesses quite a promising talent, might I add." I looked over at the blond girl. She was looking from me to Carlisle and Aro with a small devious smile.

"And what is that?"

"It's quite a peculiar gift – but she can shift into the form of any other vampire. Only the ones who are alive of course, technically."

"I see." nodded Carlisle. "That is very impressive, and to what do we owe this pleasure, Aro?"

_Pleasure_? Pleasure my ass – more like torture or punishment.

"We're not here to cause any trouble – we just wanted to pay young Renesmee a visit-" he looked round Carlisle at me. "Not that she's so young anymore –please, come forward my dear."

I risked a glance at Edward; he caught my eye and nodded once.

After a deep breath, I stepped past Carlisle to stand in front of Aro. He smiled charmingly at me as I stood before him.

"My, how _beautifully_ you have grown Renesmee. You look exactly how I imagined you would – taller, more graceful, and less afraid. You're not _afraid_, are you Renesmee?"

"No." I said, quicker than required. "Of _course_ not."

"Very good. Then I trust you won't mind if I – take a look?" he eyed my hands. My palms began to sweat. Reluctantly, I shook my head and lifted one of my gently shaking hands to his. As he took my hand, he stared at it in awe. It was like he craved it. His more pleasant smile faded into a smile of satisfaction.

I was running low on things to convince myself that the situation was normal and there was no threat. Aro's sudden change in behaviour was wearing it down even more.

"Would you like me to do the honours?" I asked with a flicker of a smile. His smile vaguely returned.

"Thank you – but that won't be necessary." He assured me and focused on my hand again.

As he read my thoughts and watched my memories, I felt him pull them out, twist them, turn them and then throw them back before looking at another set.

…' _Sam's disappeared. And Jake, he's gone too'… 'Oh the joys of being Renesmee Cullen'…_

…_"Hi, I'm Abi."… '__Who__was__that?...Jacey.'…_

…'_It was him. It was__actually__him. Jacob.'…_

…' _The ball flew towards me. I panicked. I swung. It flew. It vanished. I cursed.'…_

…' _'Me and you'? He had imprinted on__me__?... Wow.'…_

…'_I promise I'll steal your purity someday.'…_

…' _It wasn't as if I held her back, she just stopped and looked back.'…' "I dunno, the opportunity was there so I took it."'…_

…' _Stop it, Renesmee! You'll kill her!'…_

Aro looked at me sharply and released his tight grip on my hand. I was dead, _so_ dead. There was something that had caught his eye, but I wasn't sure which or why. Was he alright with me being with Jacob? – Or didn't he really care? Did he know about the leading breeds?

Maybe my hatred towards a human had caught his interest. Maybe he was interested to see how far Jacey could push me before I _did_ kill her – I hoped that it wouldn't come to that.

I listened for Edward's voice and for him to whisper the dreaded 'run'. But when it didn't come, I relaxed slightly.

"Although your behaviour isn't quite what I expected." He said quietly. I didn't say anything. What _could _I say to make this better? Nothing. I was sure to say the wrong thing. "From what I see, you seem to sometimes – _lose_ yourself. Am I correct?"

"Sometimes I let people provoke me to my limits, yes."

"I see. Then I trust that you realise how close you have come to suggesting that you are something greater than human to other humans?"

"But-"

"But no such suspicion has been raised, Aro." said Carlisle, now standing level with me. "I can assure you of that."

"Can you?" Aro tilted his head gently to the side. "It appears to me that young Renesmee has caused quite some damage to a particular human. Every incident has ended her in hospital. Are you going to stand there and tell me that _that_ couldn't cause suspicion?"

"Any witnesses and the victim, have no idea what they really saw. They were harmless. Every time this student was taken to hospital, I checked up on her records and no extravagant damage was done- trust me when I say this."

"Oh I _do_ trust you, Carlisle. It is your granddaughter who I am beginning to lack faith in." he turned to me again. "However, I did notice some happenings that you couldn't seem to understand yourself. Sometimes, in certain situations – things happened so easily for you-" I started to back away from him.

His voice was sinisterly unpleasant and his eyes never left mine. I returned to my parents, finally feeling that little bit safer, until:

"_Run_." Edward whispered. My eyes grew wide. _What?_ No – please, not now! I looked up at my father who was keeping his eyes on Aro. Then I looked back at Aro, who was still looking at me.

"Tell me Renesmee-" he continued, "are you _afraid_?"

"Renesmee _run_!" this time he yelled at me. And this time, I obeyed. The family that had stood behind me were now scattered around the clearing, fighting various members of the Volturi. My hearing had vanished so I hadn't heard Jacob come out from the trees.

I didn't want to be a distraction.

I needed to get away from here so that we could win and I needed to get away before anyone noticed me.

So, like I was told – I ran.

I ran west to the reservation. The trees flew past me in dark blurs and leaves gushed up around me. So much for convincing myself that everything would be okay. Everything we had prepared for happened. Well – almost everything. Although, being here, I didn't know how many of them were dead, close to death or winning.

I tried so hard not to think about it, but I couldn't. Imagining it before there was even a possibility of it happening was one thing, but now it was potentially happening, that was something else entirely.

I stopped, nearly falling over head first.

Ahead, I could see the wolf of Quil standing guard. Had he seen me? Could he smell me? Or hear me? This was it. Once I crossed over with them, I wouldn't be allowed back until it was safe. No – I couldn't do that.

Out there, in that clearing, was _my_ battle and I was letting other people fight it for me. I needed to find out _exactly_ what they want of me. Did they want to kill me? Punish me? Warn me or just lecture me? I didn't' know because Edward had kicked me out before I could know. But that was only my second priority. My first was my family and Jacob. I couldn't let them fight whilst I ran away when it was entirely my fault.

I didn't care about my safety or what they wanted me to do. Now – it was about what _I_ wanted to do. And what I wanted to do was _not_ to cross into La Push.

I turned around and I ran. They were gonna be pissed when they saw that I came back – especially Jacob. But he would have to deal with it. I'd rather he was angry than dead.

Back at the clearing, they were deep in separate fights. But the first ones I noticed were Jacob and Felix. They were close to the edge of the border.

Jacob was on the ground, struggling to move.

_No_. _Please – don't let this happen_.

_Get up Jake! _Please_ get up!_

As Jacob continued to lie there, trying to get back on his feet – Felix was finding this easy and entertaining. He made me sick. He stood still and watched Jacob suffer a little longer before he went for his neck.

"NO!" I screamed. Felix looked at me and grinned.

_Leave him alone! Leave him alone! Leave him alone!_

He started for me but froze, then looked down at Jacob in disgust, then looked back at me and walked away.

What the-

But I didn't have time to question him, I ran to Jacob's side.

"Jake!" I cried, dropping down next to him. "What happened?" he was still in wolf form, so I couldn't expect much of a response. As I kept him protected, my eyes scanned the rest of the clearing, checking to see who was still standing, and who _wasn't_. I managed to detect each member of my family – but that didn't make me feel any less terrified.

_Please stop. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!_

The words ran repeatedly through my head as I finally laid eyes on Aro. He was against my father and Carlisle. I looked at him and wished he could just see the desperation in my eyes for this to stop.

_Make it stop_.

Aro stopped fighting. His hands fell gracious to his side as he caught my eye. I stared at him and he stared at me. I noticed the violence around us drop considerably as the other members began to realise their leader's lack of movement.

When the clearing eventually went still, Aro spoke.

"I apologise for the unnecessary retaliation. I'm not entirely sure what came over me. We shall leave you in peace." He took his eyes off me and looked at Carlisle. "Carlisle." He nodded once and turned away.

The rest of the Volturi slowly followed after him. That Lauren girl held back longer than the others – she kept her gaze solely on me. Why was she looking at me like that? So hatefully? She barely knew me!

But after a short while, they were all gone. And that just left us in the clearing. Shaken and left to clear up the damage.

I had been so preoccupied watching the Volturi's exit that I hadn't noticed Jacob phase back.

"Jake!" I gasped, holding a hand to his face. "Are you alright?"

He clung tightly to his left arm.

"No – I think, I think he broke my arm."

Carlisle stood over us in a second. "I think you may be right Jacob." He gently pressed around Jacob's upper and lower arm. "The upper arm and shoulder blade are the most damaged. Come on-" he helped Jacob to his feet as the others joined us. "I'll get that fixed for you. Are you sure you're alright?"

"It's my arm that's broken Doc, not my legs – I'll be fine." he assured him.

It was funny how no one spoke a word to me pretty much the whole way home. They tended to talk about me like I wasn't there – _that_ irritated me the most. I walked with Jacob being his constantly alert nurse. But like the others, he didn't speak to me either – not until we were near my home again.

"You're not talking to me." I said, stating the obvious.

He didn't respond.

"Are you mad at me? Because I came back?"

"It's not just that. You _promised_ me that you would leave when things turned to trouble."

"And technically I didn't break my promise. I _did_ run-"

"But you came back. I didn't want you to come back and that _wasn't_ part of the promise. There's no 'technically' about it."

"Jacob, you do realise that if I hadn't shown up as a distraction to Felix – you would be dead."

"And do you realise that _you_ could have died?"

"So could you!"

"I don't care about that. It's _you_ that matters."

I dropped back slightly from the others. At first Jacob continued walking, but he knew that I wanted to talk to him more privately. So he stopped.

"Y'know I didn't return and ignore your conditions out of spite, Jacob."

"No. Lemme guess – you couldn't stand the idea of being away whilst we risked our lives, right?"

"Right."

"Right and _how_ many times did I tell you not to fight? Not to worry?"

"Jacob!" I snapped. "Don't you realise you were on the line of death when I got there. If I hadn't shown up-"

"Renesmee, that _isn't _important. What's important is that the Volturi aren't here anymore and you're safe. However – because you always choose the wrong moment to be the hero, you deliberately disobeyed me-"

"_Disobeyed _you?" I repeated. He nodded. "Jake- you're my _boyfriend_ not my _dad_! So don't talk to me as if you _own_ me-"

"I'm not talking to you as if I own you-"

"_Yes_ you are! You're talking down to me like I'm a child-"

"Well maybe when you stop thinking like one, I'll change my ways." He didn't bother waiting for my response, now he just turned away and carried on walking. I was left standing there, alone.

I didn't know how long this fight would last and I didn't know what the hell had happened back there with the Volturi. But one thing I was _absolutely_ sure of – Jacob was pissed.

**Hope you enjoyed it! :) Please review! x x**


	14. Suspect

**Here's the latest addition to Full moon! :)**

**SUSPECT**

JACOB HAD HIS ENTIRE LEFT ARM, FROM FINGERS TO SHOULDER IN A CAST. CARLISLE TOLD him that he wouldn't be able to phase again for at least a few days. Although it didn't seem like that long, it still put Jake in an even worse mood. When returning home from the clearing, I'd realised that my jeans were covered up to the knees in mud and dirt. I'd barely made it through the door when Esme told me to go and change. With a new pair of jeans on, I returned to the living room. Jacob had been dealt with – it was then when I saw his arm in its cast for the first time. He was talking to my parents whilst sitting on one of the couches.

As I reached them, I was about to sit next to Jacob – but then I thought better of it and sat on the couch opposite him. He didn't acknowledge my presence at all; Bella gave me one look and returned to their conversation. So _that_ was how it was gonna be?

How very mature of them.

"… So what do we do?" asked Bella.

"I'll head over to Quil's later" said Jacob." – maybe get the pack together. They'll have to patrol for the next couple of nights. We can make sure that the area is clear."

"Stay at home, Jake." She insisted. "They can deal with this for a few nights. You need to rest and fix your arm."

"I'll be fine in a few days-"

"And until then…"

He sighed. "Until then I do nothing."

Edward turned to me and walked forward.

"Renesmee-" he began, "what part of _run_ were your having trouble with?"

Here we go again.

"Dad, I did what I had to do." I insisted. "Let's face it – if I hadn't come back and ended up a distraction then you would all still be in that clearing fighting, if not dead."

"And if _you_ hadn't run back then you wouldn't have been close to death yourself."

"But I'm _not_ dead. No one is. Isn't that good enough?"

"Renesmee that's not the point-"

"Then what _is the_ point?"

"The point is that you deliberately disobeyed us-"

"Careful-" Jacob cut in. "She doesn't like it when you talk to her like she's a child."

I shot Jacob a look that could kill. He fell back on the couch and said nothing – he just stared at me. _When_ was he going to drop this?

"No." I snapped. "I just don't like it when _people_ talk to me like they're my parents when those _people_ are anything _but_ my parents." Emphasis on the people.

"Look, Renesmee-" Bella began, "We know that you didn't want to run, but it was to keep you safe. We're angry with you because you came back-"

"Okay, look – I am _sick_ of this conversation already. I'm _sorry_ that I came back. I'm _sorry_ that Volturi are gone. I'm _sorry_ that you're not hurt and I'm _sorry _Jacob isn't dead. How very stupid and selfish of me!"

Silence.

"It was stupid." Said Edward. He put a hand around Bella's waist and led her out the front door. It _was_ stupid – but it _wasn't _selfish. He obviously thought something was right along the lines. Bella and Edward's exit had left me alone with Jacob. I was feeling pretty awkward being alone with him right now. I didn't know how mad he was with me, whatever it was – I hoped it wouldn't last much longer. In the end, I didn't want to be the one apologising – because I had nothing to apologise for. I knew _that_ much.

I sat on the other couch opposite him and stared into space to pass the time.

"How long are you going to let this go one for?" I asked him, more spitefully than intended. I wasn't expecting a response, but when he drew a breath to speak my heart lifted – but then the front door opened and my hopes shattered. It was the pack.

"We figured everything turned out alrigh- what happened to your arm?" Quil was the first through the door, followed by Seth, then Embry and Leah.

"Broken." Jacob replied, standing up. "And Renesmee _did_ come to you, she just changed her mind half way."

"But it wasn't up for negotiation."

"Exactly." He gave me the first smile I'd had in ages with an obvious '_see_' ringing to it. I shot him a very unimpressed glare and looked away from them.

"Yikes-" Embry sniggered, "Trouble in paradise?"

"Just a minor disagreement." I insisted.

"_Minor_?" Jacob snapped. "Ness, what you-"

"_Jacob_ – can we not?" I looked at him whilst nudging my eyes in the pack's direction.

"Alright – so is everything cool now or what?" asked Quil.

"Or what-" said Jacob. "I'm not allowed to phase until this heals up – it'll probably be a couple of days. Until then, _patrol_. For the next few nights two of you scan the state whilst the other two keep an eye around the area. We wanna make sure they're good and gone, got it?"

"Got it, Chief."

"Don't call me that."

"Okay – so what _actually_ happened?" asked Seth, perching himself on the couch. Jake told them about what he heard from Aro in the woods, about when things got out of hand and what happened after I ran.

"They just _left_?" said Quil, confused. "Not a word?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. But they _did_ apologise for the '_unnecessary behaviour'_." I said.

"Damn straight." He retorted. "So what? – you made a few mistakes, doesn't _everyone_?"

"I think my mistakes were a little above minor, Quil." I told him. "I mean, hitting a baseball with a little more power is one thing, but hitting it so hard that it soared over the school grounds, deep into the forest…"

"I'm sure it weren't _that_ bad." He insisted.

"_You_ weren't there. Ask Abi, she was."

After I spent the next hour trying to convince them that the Volturi were right to be mad at my recklessness, they left, all of them – including Jacob. I still didn't know where I stood with him. His goodbye was chilly, but not as cold as I'm sure it would have been a couple of hours before.

That meant I was left to myself. I thought about visiting Claire or maybe Abi – but they'd probably be with Quil and Embry seeing as they were due to spend the night patrolling the state. That wasn't fair. _Their_ imprints were going to be out all night, so they spent time with theirs now. _Mine_ couldn't patrol for at least two days, why couldn't I be with him? – Oh, that's right. Because he hates me.

It was around midnight when Abi's caller ID lit up the screen of my phone. Luckily I wasn't half asleep – in fact I was far from it. I wasn't even in my pyjamas. I was sat lazily on the couch, reading a random novel from the bookshelf. Emmett was sat with Rosalie on the other couch, flicking through the late night TV channels. He was complaining on a few minutes before about how they don't consider those who don't go to bed before one in the morning or those who don't sleep at all, because all they put on night TV is crap.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my buzzing phone.

"Hey Abi – listen I'm gonna come into school tomorrow, all better." I said trying to make the conversation short.

"Renesmee-" she sounded panicked, I sat up and now she had all my attention.

"Abi, is everything alright?" I asked, drowning out the sound of the TV.

"Turn on the news." She told me.

"_What_?"

"_Turn_ over to the news, _now_."

I did as she said. First I had to wrestle the remote from Emmett, but he eventually gave in. And, like she said – I switched onto the news channel.

'_The body of a teenage girl was found in an alley, around 7 pm tonight in the city of Seattle. The girl's body has been identified as 17-year-old Jacey Crowe, who was said to have been returning to her car after spending the past hour shopping. A passerby found her in a tragic state – in a small puddle of her own blood but barely enough to match the loss of blood from her body. The incident has been declared murder with no official weapons involved. Her parents _have_ been informed_. _In other news…"_

Oh crap.

Oh crap.

Holy crap!

Kill me. If God had _any_ mercy, he would have killed me. Immediately Claire's words rang in my head – '_What if something was to happen to Jacey? – People will know that you two didn't get on so well. All fingers will point to you if they don't know who did_.' What if she was right? She most probably _was_ right. I hate my life. I was going to be suspected of murder, wasn't I?

Surely I was.

"…Renesmee? Hey, Renesmee are you still there?" Abi's voice sounded on the other end. I wished I wasn't there. I wished I was anyone else but me, or maybe that I was dead.

"Er- yeah, yeah I-I'm still here."

"I can't believe she's dead. I just _can't_. Who would do something like that?"

A vampire. "A murderer."

"God." She let out a stuttered sigh and was silent for a while.

"Abi?"

"Yeah – I'm here."

"You don't think they'll accuse me, do you?"

Silence.

"I don't know." She sighed. "I could understand why they would, if they do. But I don't believe that you would do it. Plus, it was all the way in Seattle-"

"But I've been ill for the past couple of days."

"Exactly, you've been in no state to leave the house-"

"They don't know that. I could have been lying as far as they're concerned. As far as they know, I could have very easily taken the last couple of days off to track down her and lure her into a trap."

The line when silent again, but this time the silence was more painful than ever.

"Renesmee-" she said quietly. "_Did_ you kill Jacey?"

This time, _I_ was silent. Maybe I shouldn't have been, but I couldn't believe she had _actually_ accused me of it. I thought Abi was my friend – you don't accuse your friends of murder.

"_No_, Abi. Of course I didn't. Why would you think that?"

"Well, you seem to have thought through this thoroughly. Y'know, the whole possibilities for them to think that you could've killed her?"

I wasn't listening to this. Maybe someone else would be reassuring.

"Well, this has been the most reassuring conversation I've had in my entire life-"

"Renesmee, _relax_ I'm kidding!" she giggled. "Of _course_ I don't think you killed her. You have the guts to hurt her, but you're not a blood thirsty killer – I know _that _much." If only she knew. But nonetheless, I was grateful that she didn't hate me _or_ think that I was a murderer.

Shortly after our conversation, I decided to call it a night. Being in bed felt like the only positive thing that would come from today (well, that and nobody died in the clearing). I knew that I was in for another rough day tomorrow – depending on how the school reacts to Jacey's death. But I was going to be exhausted; I hadn't prepared myself for enough sleep tonight. Maybe I could skip another day? No, unless it was sunny I had no hope-

There was a knock on my door.

I'd just slithered into bed – "Come in." I replied. Maybe my parents had heard the news and were going to reassure me. Whatever it was, I hoped it was positive, I couldn't face much more negativity today.

The door opened and let in a growing ray of light from the hallway. It was Jacob. I felt bad that the way I recognised him now was by the massive cast around his arm.

"Hi." He said, shutting the door behind him.

"Hi." I whispered. I sat up with half my body covered in bed sheets. Jacob stood by the door and let the faint glow of my lamp light him up in the corner of my room. Was he _still_ mad?

"Are you alright?" he asked, "I heard about that girl who was killed. That was her wasn't it? That girl who's been working you up at school."

I nodded and turned my head away from him.

I was worried how much her death could change things. Would I have to leave school? – I didn't know. Jacob could tell that I was worried and he knew exactly why.

"I spoke to Abi earlier," I began. "She joked about accusing me of Jacey's death." I paused. "But tomorrow, at school – it won't be like that. They'll accuse me, but they won't be joking."

"Ness-" my voice had shaken before, now Jacob was at my side. He managed to scoot over next to me so that he could wrap his right arm around me. I threw my head into his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him.

"When will it stop?" my voice was muzzled in his neck.

"When will what stop?"

"_This_. Bad things. Humans dying, vampires visiting, people lying." He kissed my head and his lips lingered there for while.

"It'll pass, I promise." I adjusted my head so that I was looking up at him.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" I finally asked.

"I came to make sure you were okay – aren't I allowed to do that?"

"Well, considering the way you've been with me today, I don't think I would be wrong to not allow you to."

He looked ahead for a few seconds. Had I just completely ruined the moment? – probably.

"Listen-" he began, "I'm sorry for how I acted. I shouldn't've been like that – especially not with you. I know that you did what you thought was right, I just-I just-"

"You just wish that I would devise plans before I run into something?"

He smiled, "Something like that."

"But you _have _to admit that you're glad I came back – otherwise I think your condition would be worse than this." I lightly touched his cast.

"My hero." He sniggered. I smiled and pulled his lips to mine. For that moment, things were looking up (a little). We laid there in silence, and eventually I drifted off to sleep in his arms – with my heart at peace with Jacob, but my mind buzzing with fear.

THE NEXT DAY at school was an uncomfortable blur. I tried to avoid contact with anyone but Abi, Eli and my teachers, but the hasty glares from other students made it difficult. The morning was the worst. The glares were fresh and new. By lunch time, I had educated myself into ignoring them. Not that it made matters much better.

However, at the 'Cullen' lunch table I couldn't help but catch a few glares. Abi and Eli were briefly talking to one another in between mouthfuls of food. I on the other hand watched people at the other tables. Alyssa Ford – a girl from my biology class, subtly looked over her shoulder at me whilst a few of her friends risked glances in my direction. On another table, Will 'someone' kept giving my direction the odd look.

For Gods sake! I didn't kill her! When will these people realise that? Okay, so I hurt her on a couple of occasions – I never tried to kill her. But then again, Monday's incident in the girls locker room probably wasn't all that convincing of my trying not to kill her.

"Renesmee, you're getting yourself into a state over nothing.-"

"Abi, they're watching me. They're all watching me and I know that I'm not being paranoid – look around…" the three of us looked around the cafeteria and caught a few stares.

"Do you believe me now?" I sighed, slumping back in my chair. "I told you this would happen. I told you that they would keep glaring at me-"

"But you didn't do anything-"

"They don't know that!" I cried, louder that intended. "They're too god damn scared to even consider another suspect!-"

"Renesmee- chill." insisted Eli. "One way to get out of this unharmed is to keep your head down – kicking up in the cafeteria isn't gonna help."

"Eli, this is really stressful for her. I'm not surprised she's on the edge of breaking down."

And then it hit me. Is this really what my life had come to? I always thought I was invincible when it came to stress- but then again, the past week hadn't exactly been my best. In fact, I'd call it my worst. First, Jacey scratched my car (which I was never going to get the money for now), then I found out about the past between my mom and Jacob, then I was the reason for Jacey breaking her wrist? Knuckles? Or whatever she broke. As if things couldn't get worse, the Volturi chose the perfect time to visit, then everything turned so bad that I had to run – Jacob nearly died. I had my first fight with Jacob since we'd been dating. Then Jacey was murdered, most probably by the Volturi. My guess was that after reading my memories, Aro had decided to specifically hunt her – I don't think it was just a coincidence.

Oh the joys of being Renesmee Cullen. Oh the joys.

But then I considered, surely things couldn't get much worse. To restore the balance, something good would have to happen – just something.

But no, God still hated me. I was in English – last period. The stares had died down and I was finally starting to feel relaxed myself. But then there was a knock on the classroom door that demolished any contentment I felt. The teacher, Mr Hule, fell silent as the door opened. The Principal walked in, along with two police officers.

Shit.

"Sorry for the interruption, Mr Hule – could we just borrow Miss Cullen please?"

My stomach dropped. I should have known this was going to happen. I just didn't expect it happen so soon.

"Of course – Renesmee-" Mr Hule indicated for me to leave with them.

I slipped my books into my bag as I stood up. Eli gave me a supportive smile and I returned it with a small one. I walked to the door, past the staring eyes and left with the Principle and the officers.

The hallways were deserted and the sick feeling in my stomach grew even more.

"We've contacted your parents," said Principal Klepps. "They're on their way, but the officers just want to ask you a few questions first."

"Okay."

This could turn out much more difficult than it should. I think I know who did it, but they'll never know and they'll never find them – so what can I say to them? All I could do was prove that I was sick and innocent. The well known saying came to my head – 'If I've got nothing to hide, then I've got nothing to worry about.' – but I _did_ have something to hide, because I knew who did it – I just could explain who did it.

I was taken to a small room near the Principal's office, with just four walls, a table and chairs in the middle and a window in the corner.

"I'll wait for your folks outside, you stay in here with the officers whilst they ask you a few questions. Alright?" - I nodded. The Principal left and I was alone with the officers.

"Right, Miss Cullen – I'm Detective Williams, this is my assistant Daniel Webb. If you'd like to just take a seat."

I did as he asked and sat on a chair on one side of the table whilst Williams sat opposite me and Daniel set up a recorder on the table.

"We're not gonna bite, we just want to ask you a few question…" he said. If he wants to talk about biting, I'm not the one who needs to be worried. _That_'s for sure.

The recorder beeped twice to signify it had begun – away we go…

"It appears that you haven't been at school for the past couple days? Mind tellin' us where you were?"

"Ill." I said blankly, "I caught a stomach bug from one of my friends. It hit hard Tuesday, but I was recovering Wednesday."

"Mm-hm." He leant back in his chair. "That friend wouldn't have been Jacey Crowe now, would it?" I was about to answer but he continued. "Well, of _course_ it wouldn't be – because you didn't get on so well with her did you?"

I shook my head.

"We need verbal response, Miss Cullen."

"No."

"_No_ – according to witnesses _and_ her parents, she ended up in hospital twice because of you, all within the last week. Friday, fifteenth of October, Jacey arrived at hospital in a bloody state with a broken nose. Monday, eighteenth of October, Jacey arrives by _ambulance_ with broken knuckles on her right hand and red marks around her neck. Both of these were results of attacks, claimed to have been committed by _you_."

"I didn't do that to her hand – she tried to punch me but missed and she hit my locker instead."

"But the red marks and broken nose?"

Silence.

"Those were me."

"Uh-hu, so what happened then?"

"Huh?"

"What provoked these attacks?" he asked.

"_She_ did." I said. "I broke her nose because she refused to pay for them damage she did to my car-"

"She damaged your property?"

"Yes."

"What about the neck marks?"

"She insulted my family, so I grabbed her by the neck – tighter than intended. I soon let her go, but clearly the marks stayed there longer."

Williams leant forward in his chair again and rested his elbows on the table.

"You seem to struggle to control your temper, don't you?" I didn't answer, "Whenever someone provokes you, you'll just lash out at them. Do you think that may ever cause you to go to rather extreme lengths?"

_I didn't do it!_

_Just please leave. Leave me alone, all of you! You want juice? Here's some juice – Jacey was a manipulator and had everything she got coming for her. She was going to be murdered by someone else if I didn't do it. _

_Just go. Go Go!_

"Harry – I think we've got everything we need." Said Daniel Webb, grabbing the recorder.

"Yes, I think you might be right, Webb." They exchanged satisfied smiles. "Well, thank for your time Miss Cullen – we'll be in touch."

And they left.

They left the door open and I could see Bella and Edward standing on the other side of it.

"Do they think I did it- the officers?" I asked Edward as the three of us entered the parking lot. School wasn't quite over yet, but the Principal had let me go a little early.

"I'm not sure." he admitted, "Detective Williams was trying to think of other possible suspects as he was leaving, same as his assistant. I think you're in the clear, for now." I felt much better now; I was glad that I wasn't the prime suspect in this investigation anymore. But was I still a suspect?

"We think you'll be okay." Bella assured me. "Just keep your head down for the time being, and we'll see you at home." The two of them left for Edward's Maserati as I slid into my Mustang.

Well, _that_ was a lucky escape. Maybe this was the start of the reformation of balance in my life – hopefully, in a few weeks we would be laughing about all this.

_Hopefully_.

**Hope you enjoyed it! **

**This is sort of the halfway point for Full moon - just so you know, the next chapter takes place around 6 months later. But if you don't remember that, i'll let you know in the next one.**

**And as far as Renesmee and Jacob's relationship is concerned - don't worry! nothing 'interesting' will happen in those 6 months ;) **

**anyway, i'll update soon! keep reading! and review! :) x x**


	15. Sighting

**The story really continues in April - I just thought I might give you a little bit of information with a few of the other months (not all of them)**

**Anyway, here's the next update! - Enjoy! :)**

_**November**_

The police never did get back in touch with me. Eventually, they called off the search for Jacey's murderer and the story wasn't publicised any further, thank god. And after that, things started looking up. Every bit of tension there was before disappeared and my mind was finally at peace by the end of November.

_**December**_

Best Christmas I've had in years. A four months pregnant Emily insisted on cooking a meal to feed a hundred for around thirty people. I didn't want to intrude whilst they ate, so I spent Christmas morning and early afternoon at home, clearing up after the opening of presents in the morning. In the late afternoon, I headed over there when everyone was too full and tired to do much. Claire threw up. She _actually_ threw up, she'd eaten so much.

Jake and I walked through the winter wonderland of the forest during twilight. It was beautiful and so silent.

_**January**_

It was a brand new year. I celebrated New Year's Day by making a new year's resolution. I then celebrated the second day of the New Year's by breaking my new year's resolution. Typical human habit. Oh! – Quil and Claire got engaged too. Claire was bouncing off the freakin' walls! She called me at three in the morning just to scream down the phone at me that she was getting married. Her voice was so loud, that it woke Jake up too. But then I realised that I'd been so tired my finger slipped over the speaker icon too as I answered. I apologised to him and turned it off, but her voice was still loud and squeaky.

"Claire, I'm really happy for you but-"

"Sorry to wake you, Ness." She quietened down. "I just can't sleep and I needed to tell someone besides my parents – so I thought of you…"

"I'm glad that you remembered to tell me, can I call you in the morning?" I asked.

"Sure thing. I'll let you sleep, sorry for waking you – I'll speak to you in the morning!" and she hung up. Finally.

The next morning, I didn't even need to call Claire. She came over whilst Jake and I were in the kitchen.

"_Renesmee_-" she stood innocently in the doorway, whilst holding up her left hand with the ring on. I stared at it for a moment. Then I couldn't help but throw myself at her for a hug. She squealed with excitement whilst I hugged her tighter and laughed.

"I can't believe you're getting married." I said, letting her go.

"I know!" she bounced. I wondered if she ever did end up sleeping last night.

Jacob stood up from the table.

"Okay, well I'll leave you two to do whatever girly things you've gotta do." He said, walking towards me. "I'll see you later."

"Bye." He kissed me lightly and left.

I watched him leave, and out the corner of my eye I saw Claire watch me watch him.

"I'm surprised you two aren't engaged yet." She said. My head snapped to her.

"_Four months_ – really? I suppose I know that I'll end up marrying him and stuff – but what's the rush?"

"_I'm_ not gonna live forever – _that's_ the rush."

"Oh c'mon Claire." I whined. "You'd been dating Quil for like four _years_ before you got engaged. Besides it would be weird for us to get engaged now consider that we haven't even-" I bit my tongue, but it was too late. Claire knew exactly what I was about to say.

"_Four months_?" I said, "Four months and you still haven't had se-"

"Shh!" I snapped. "My parents can hear you y'know."

"Bu- how- _why?_" she asked. "You can't _not_ have that level of trust with him."

"It's nothing to do with trust."

"Then what is it?"

"Look, my _entire_ life has been accelerated Claire. I can barely remember my childhood because I barely had one. I was wearing a bra by the age of four. Is it too much to ask to take _something_ slow in my life?"

"Getting married I can understand, but-" she paused and studied me for a moment. "Oh God."

"What?"

"You've let your father warp your mind haven't you? You've let him control you into being against pre-marital sex, right?"

"_No_!" I insisted. "No, no, _no_. I'm not against it, I'm just not rushing into things, because I don't need to. He understands-"

"You've _told_ Jake why you won't sleep with him?"

"He's got the right to know."

Claire sighed and hung her head. She shook it before heading to the table and pulling out a chair to sit on. What was wrong with me not wanting to have sex with him yet? Well – it wasn't that I _didn't_ want to, I just wasn't sure in my mind how I wanted things to work out.

I was just waiting for the perfect time? - seemed legit.

**_February_**

_**March**_

**_April_**

**SIGHTING**

THE TREES WERE CREEKING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WITH THE ROUGH WIND THAT RACED through them. Today, the house was silent. My parent were at the cottage, Carlisle had an unexpected shift at the hospital, Esme was out somewhere with Alice and Rosalie whilst Emmett and Japer went out onto the mountains to hunt. That leaving me alone in this massive house. I twirled a finger through my wet hair, trying to enlighten the soaking curls. I needed something to do. Anything.

Claire was having a 'serious' wedding dress hunt with her mom. Of course when her mom said '_serious_', she meant a '_Renesmee isn't allowed to come_' wedding dress hunt. She wanted it to be a mother daughter bonding thing. Seeing as she was to soon give her daughter away, I obliged. Abi was behind on tonnes of school work. Seeing as she had dedicated a lot of her time to her friends and mainly Embry, she never got the work done. When the school grew concerned with her lack of work, they called in her parents. Even _they_ said that Embry was likely to be the problem. So, after that they decided to put her on a homework timetable which was meant to balance out school work with social life – but now she's barely ever allowed to socialise unless she's at school. That's punishment for you.

Ultimately, I was waiting. Jake was meant to be over soon, or whenever he woke up. Over the past month he'd been patrolling with the pack a couple of nights a week. He never told me there was anything to be concerned about, and I rarely asked. Whenever he patrolled the whole night, I told him to take his time and only come over when he was fully recovered. It did worry me sometimes when he was out, only because I didn't know if I _should_ be worried.

As the wind outside died down again it lost my attention, I turned back to my dresser and carefully blow dried my hair. When my hair was dry, Jacob still wasn't here – so I did some homework. Homework was generally a pretty straight forward task for me – I already knew well what I was doing, so it never took up much of my time.

After about half hour, the door opened to the sound of "Ness?" calling into the house.

"I'm up here!" I called back, pushing my books back into my bag. I would finish that some other time. Jacob soon appeared at my open door in a shirt and cut off shorts.

"Good morning." I smiled at him as I walked over to the door and kissed him.

"Hey beautiful." He grinned, wrapping his arms around me.

"Feel refreshed? Or did you force yourself out of bed?" I pulled him into my room.

"Take a guess."

I stopped and turned.

"Jacob, I told you to take all the time you need." I insisted. "Don't get up on my account. Sleep is important and especially if you're gonna be doing it a few times a week, you'll need energy-"

"So I'll eat my weight in protein to keep me going. Ness, you worry too much – I'll be _fine_, I always am."

I raised an eyebrow at him and turned away again to throw myself onto my bed.

"Jesus, its hot in here-" he puffed, heading to my window.

"It's me." I grinned.

"It always is – that doesn't make it any less hot though." He opened one of my windows and I watched him.

As I scanned him from behind, I noticed something strange about his leg. There were red marks on the back of his right leg, like scratches or claws marks. I flipped myself onto my front so I could see them clearer.

"Jake?"

"Mm?"

"What happened to your leg?"

He looked behind him at the marks he _knew_ I was referring to and judging by the look on his face, he wished I hadn't asked _or_ noticed.

"Nothing." He said quickly, walking back over after the window was wide open.

"That's not _nothing_-" he sat on the edge of my bed and I grabbed his leg so I could see it closer. They were _definitely _claw marks – maybe it was a bear.

"Did you get these last night?" I asked, now looking at him. He looked me in the eyes and was desperate to lie, but he struggled to say anything but the truth after he had promised so many times to be honest with me.

"Yeah." He held my hand away from the scars, "But you don't need to worry-"

I moved away from him.

"Jacob-" I said in a low, stern voice, "what have you been looking for?"

"Ness-"

"_Please_, Jacob. You've been at this for a month now. _What_ are you looking for?" he looked at me again, still considering which would be the best response – the lie or the truth.

After a few moments, he sighed. "It's nothing you need to concern yourself with, don't worry."

Silence.

"Do you _honestly_ think I'll drop it - just like that?"

"I wish you would."

"Yeah, well wishes don't always come true - You do realise you're only making me more suspicious by not telling me" I moaned.

After I had said that, Jacob looked away from me.

"Renesmee, you don't need to know, okay? It's not essential that you know what I was doing last night or any of the other nights. The main thing is, it's in the past. Now I think it's just best if we let go of the past and move on, okay?" he insisted. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"_Because_."

"Jacob!"

"You wanna know why I won't tell you?" he snapped. I dropped my shoulders.

"_Yes_! That's what I have been asking you!" I yelled. I didn't need to yell at him, he was right in front of me. But I was just so frustrated with him.

"I won't tell you because you'll worry. You'll panic like you've been for months. I just managed to get you out of that state Ness! I don't want you going back" he insisted. I stared at him for a while, narrowing my eyes again.

"It's them isn't it?" I said. "It's the Volturi".

Jacob shook his head. "No, it isn't them" he insisted. This was killing me. I didn't know why he couldn't just be honest with me and tell me what it was.

"Then what is i-" Jacob interrupted me. _Again_.

"It's just another vampire, okay? Sam said that he had seen this bloodsucker and I said that I'd go and check it out, and I did". It annoyed me how he tried to make himself sound cool whilst saying it. I knew that the answer he had just given me, was probably the best I was going to get. It was useless, it was like talking to a brick wall.

I gave in.

"Fine. This conversation is on hold" I muttered and left him on my bed whilst I walked into the bathroom. My hands had become uncomfortably clammy – I rinsed them under a freezing cold tap that felt like water from heaven.

After a couple of minutes, Jacob was at the bathroom door, leant against its frame.

"Ness- _please_ don't be mad. I'm not telling you for your own good-"

"I thought you said that I didn't need to worry?"

"I did."

"Then _why_ were you saying that if I knew I'd panic?"

"You _don't_ need to worry because we're dealing with it. But I know that if I told you, you would instinctively panic. Happy?"

"No." I stormed out the bathroom, but as I passed him in the door way, he grabbed my shoulders and turned me to him.

"Look-" he said calmly, "I'm sorry. I don't want this to turn into fight. I need you on my side so that you can help me keep you safe."

"In other words, help you keep me in the dark?"

He titled his head. "Can you _not_ be argumentative?"

I held my tongue.

"Thank you – _please_, don't be angry. I just want this to work without having to create a fuss."

I looked in his eyes and studied him for a moment.

"Alright." I said quietly. But I _wasn't_ going to give up.

Both our bodies relaxed in the doorway.

"Listen, tomorrow night – there's a bonfire on the beach, do you wanna go?" he asked.

My lips gently grew into a smile and I nodded. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

"Good. Emily's supplying food, cooking and working herself to the bone."

"Can she still cook in her condition?"

"She's pregnant, Ness, not mentally ill." He grinned. "But yeah, she can still cook. Sam doesn't like all the work she does but she's determined to keep living her normal life until that kid is half way out." He paused. "We could go and see them, if you want – it'll give us something to do."

I nodded, "Sure, why not?"

"I'll drive!" I told Jacob as he reached the driver's door of the Mustang. Unfortunately Jacob was already half way in the driver's seat by the time I reached him.

"Sorry, you snooze you lose" he laughed "Where are the keys?" he asked. I stood in the gap between the car and the car door.

"They're in my back pocket" I told him. A large smirk grew on his face, he lifted his hand and held it out for the keys.

"Can I have them please?" he asked. I turned round so that my back was facing him.

"You want them? go and get them" I insisted. I crossed my arms as I waited. Within a few seconds I felt his hand slide into my back pocket and out again.

"Got 'em. Now. Come and get in the car" he ordered. I rolled my eyes as I walked round to the other side of the car. Just as I opened the car door, Jacob slammed his door.

"Hey!" I yelled as I got in.

"What?"

"Don't do that to my baby! It has feelings you know" I whined.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry….._car_?" he apologised, with a sarcastic tone.

He started the engine and it purred. The purr grew stronger as we set off up the road, to Sam and Emily's house.

"I haven't seen Emily in ages, how is she? And how's the baby?" I asked.

"She's alright" he sighed "She is kinda big now. A lot bigger than when you last saw her".

"Yeah, when I saw her last, she looked like she could have had a couple of socks rolled up underneath her shirt" I sniggered. Jacob chuckled.

"Uh-hu. Well, now she looks like she could have a whole duvet shoved under there" he laughed. I rolled my eyes and tut.

"You're so charming" I said, sarcastically.

"I know" he said. I looked over to him to see a large smirk forming on his face. I gave up talking to him for a while. Instead, I leant my head against the window and watched the trees fly by. As my ear leant against the window, I could hear the wind howl as it sailed past the window. As well as a howl, it also sounded like the cry of a thousand ghosts. Most probably a thousand ghosts crying at the painful iciness of the air.

I watched the trees as they seemed to slowly approach the car, then out of the corner of my eye, they zoomed past at a phenomenal speed.

The seatbelt began to rub against my shoulder, so I rolled my head back onto the head rest. The wind's howl was no longer heard, but the trees still crept up to the car slowly, then ran past it instantaneously. I watched the outside world through the windscreen from inside the car. I saw various things pass us. Speed signs – which luckily, Jacob _did_ respond to- , fences, birds, trees, other cars and so on.

I rolled my head to the left slightly, I then watched Jacob's hands clench onto the steering wheel. As I watched them, I saw the veins rise up through his russet coloured skin as he twisted his hands round the wheel.

My eyes soon began to crawl up his arm. As he turned the steering wheel, the muscles in his arm tensed up and they looked as if they expanded. Like they were breathing.

As my eyes moved further up his arm, they finally laid upon the Quileute wolves' tattoo that was still engraved on his arm. The tattoo looked worn out. Like a permanent ink that had been attempted to be scrubbed out many times. Over the top of this arm, pieces of loose thread were sticking out from the arm hole of his mocha coloured, sleeveless t-shirt. The colour then changed to a different shade of brown, as it returned to his skin and ran up his neck, to his face. Round the back of his neck, near the top, his hair line grew thicker, blacker and messier as it ran up the back of his head and spread out across his scalp. As I looked down the front of his face, I finally looked into his eyes. The dark brown colour in his eyes looked like a swirling pool of dark chocolate, they were rather mesmerising.

"What are you staring at?" he sniggered. I immediately broke out of my mesmerised state and my eyes flickered around for a while as I gained back my attention.

"Erm… I was staring at your eyes… I think?" I tried to gain focus.

"My_ eyes_? Why?" he asked.

"I have no idea, they're just.." I paused for a couple of seconds "They're just… quite _dreamy_… if you ask me".

"_Dreamy_?" he snorted "I think you're feeling rather _dreamy_ right now, if you're thinking that" he insisted. I shook my head vigorously and stared out the windscreen in silence.

Suddenly, I had a huge urge. An urge to take our little conversation we had earlier off hold.

"Who _is_ the other vampire?" I asked innocently. Jacob immediately knew what I was talking about as he dropped his head slightly and sighed frustrated.

"Geez Ness! Can't you just stop asking?" he moaned.

"I _did_ stop asking. I told you that the conversation was on hold, and now, it's been taken off".

"Look, you don't know the other one, okay? There's a _new_ bloodsucker in town and I'm…. dealing… with it" he insisted. I didn't completely believe him, but so far, that had to be the best answer he had given me. I slumped back into my chair and crossed my arms like an angry six-year-old.

"Fine" I mumbled. Jacob snorted.

"Is widdle Wenesmee gunna get mad with big bulwy Jacob?" he teased. How childish of him, and he says that _I'm_ childish.

We finally pulled up outside Sam and Emily's house. I looked to their front door, to see if anyone was in. Sam walked past the door and did a double take on the Volvo. I heard Jacob unplug his seatbelt, he then leaned over to unplug mine. I removed my body from the seatbelt and slid over to open the car door. I nudged it with my arm to open it further. Once I had stepped out of the car and shut the door, Jacob joined my side and held my hand. Sam opened the front door with a surprised expression his face.

"Jake? Renesmee? We weren't expecting to see you two" he said with a surprised tone. Jacob led me forward.

"Yeah, well, thought we might just stop by" insisted Jacob.

"Surprise!" I said nervously. Sam smiled and he gestured his hand towards the house, indicating for us to enter.

As we walked in, the first person I saw, was the back of Emily. She was working in the kitchen. She turned her head round as we walked in the door, a sweet smile appeared on her face. Emily turned round to face us, as she did, I saw the large baby bump on her stomach emerge as she turned.

"Hello, weren't expecting to see you two until tomorrow" she giggled "You are coming aren't you Renesmee?" she asked. I nodded and smiled. Emily smiled in return and turned round to continue her work in the kitchen.

Sam stepped forward to stand directly opposite Jacob.

"Jake, how did you get on last night?" he whispered "Did you find her?". I wasn't sure if he was whispering for the hell of it, or because he was trying to keep last night a secret from me, same as Jacob was. I looked up at Jacob to hear his response; he lifted up his free hand and began to gesture slicing his neck.

"Let's talk about that somewhere else" he insisted, his head twitched slightly a couple of times towards me. Sam nodded in agreement. He then grabbed Jacob's shoulder and led him back outside. I couldn't think of anything else for me to do, so I walked over to Emily. She saw me approach her from out the corner of her eye.

"Hello stranger." She grinned, covering chicken in breadcrumbs.

"Hi, sorry I haven't visited in ages." I apologised, leaning against the counter, she waved her hand.

"It's fine, besides you have school work to deal with and don't worry, I still get the four one, one on you anyway."

"How?"

She smiled. "Well, my first source is Jake – Claire is a pretty good one too." I smiled and looked around at the cooked, uncooked, prepared and unprepared food around the kitchen.

"Wow." I said. "I know that when you're pregnant you tend to eat like a pig, but geez-" Emily laughed.

"No" she smiled "This is food for tomorrow night. Which then leads me to _you_" she said, pointing the knife at me.

"_Me_?" I asked "Why?"

"Well, I'm preparing food for… a huge amount of people, and most of them are going to be wolves, a few are human, and _one_ is a vampire. But I've been thinking. You're still half human, so there isn't any reason why you couldn't eat human food really" she insisted.

"I haven't eaten human food in years, and I mean since I was like… _one_" I insisted. And it was true, I hadn't eaten any human food since I was that young. All I've ever had was blood, and that's purely because it helped me blend in better with my family and because I preferred it.

Emily had a packet of chicken slices next to her. She put her hand into the packet and picked one out. She then handed it to me.

"Try it" she insisted. I began to shake my head.

"Emily I don't-"

"Just try it! What's the worst that could happen?" I stared at the chicken for a while. After I had been staring at it for some time, the slice began to look more and more appetising.

Strange.

I took it out of her hand. I raised it up to be level with my mouth. Emily was watching me. I wouldn't blame her, this must have seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity. To see a vampire eat a human food instead of blood.

I opened my mouth slightly and slipped half the chicken in. I then bit through half of it and began chewing, then I eventually swallowed.

It wasn't too bad actually. It had a small salty taste in it, which I really liked, as that's what a good percentage of blood tasted like.

It wasn't too meaty and it wasn't too… uh-oh…

I could feel a horrible churning feeling in my stomach, and it wasn't the feeling of digestion. It was as if there was a horrible creature in my stomach that had been asleep of all those years, and the small piece of chicken had fallen on its head and woken it up. My stomach was twirling, spinning, twisting and churning.

It was then; I felt the chicken and other liquids come back up again. I couldn't seem to stop it. Suddenly, the liquid built up in my mouth and I couldn't hold it in. My mouth drapped open, and out of it poured blood red liquid with bits of chicken in it. The vomit poured all over the floor, just outside the kitchen area; luckily it didn't touch the food. The strength of the vomit made me collapse to the floor. My knees fell just millimetres away from the vomit.

"Renesmee? Renesmee? Are you alright?" she demanded. Poor Emily. I felt really bad for vomiting all over the kitchen floor. She tried to help me, but because of her condition, I waved her away.

"I'm fine. I think my stomach just isn't used to human food" I croaked. Emily was heavily breathing as she didn't know what she could do. I then heard footsteps run into the room.

"Where's Renesmee?" demanded Jacob. Of course, I was hidden behind the other kitchen desktops. Emily pointed down to me, Jacob ran round behind me. I heard him skid to a halt as he laid eyes upon the puddle of blood that laid before me. I turned my head round and looked up at him. Jacob bent down and held me tightly as I curled up into a ball in his arms.

"Are you okay? What happened?" he demanded.

"I ate some human food, and I don't think my stomach likes me anymore" I groaned.

"I'm so sorry Renesmee, if I knew that this would happen. I wouldn't have asked you to try it" insisted Emily. I looked up at her.

"Emily, it's fine. You wanted me to try something different, that's fair enough" I insisted. Sam walked up behind Jacob and he too stared down at the puddle of bloody vomit that laid on _his_ kitchen floor.

"Go and sit her on the couch" he ordered, pointing over the top over the desktops. Jacob nodded and scooped me up into his arms. Jacob carried me over to a couch near the kitchen, he then laid my body on it and sat with me.

"Do you still feel sick?" he asked, I shook my head.

"The chicken was tasted nice thought" I insisted, "It's just a shame that my stomach wasn't as willing.". I saw Emily smile at me and she laughed quietly as she turned back to preparing food.

Jacob leant towards me slightly and stroked my cheek with back of his hand.

"Maybe I should take you home" he suggested. I rolled my eyes and sighed as I sat up, carefully.

"And, what difference is being at home going to make?" I asked.

"So then you can go and rest in your own bed." he insisted.

"Look, Jacob, my bed doesn't have magical healing powers you know. Besides I'm not sick, sick. I just ate some food that my stomach didn't agree with, that's all. I haven't got a bug" I insisted.

"I think Jake is right. You should go home and rest" said Sam from behind the kitchen desktop. Unbelievable. First Jacob, Then Edward and Bella, now Sam. Why was everyone _caring_ about me so much?

Why would I need to rest? I only threw up.

"Just try to avoid food." He added. I laughed.

"I dunno, it _did_ taste good – maybe if I give my stomach some time to adjust…"

"C'mon, I'm gonna take you home" insisted Jacob. I would have argued more, but Jacob swept me off the couch into his arms before I could slip a word.

"We'll see you tomorrow Renesmee! Hopefully" said Emily. She waved to me as Jacob carried me out the front door. Jacob. Somehow. Managed to open the passenger door, he then slipped me into the seat and did up my seatbelt. I felt like a five-year-old, it was embarrassing. The door slammed shut.

Jacob walked swiftly round to the driver's side and got in.

I gently shut my eyes as the purr of the engine, sent me drifting off to sleep.

When I woke it was night. My room had been engulfed by darkness. I turned over to look out my window. It was a new moon tonight. The trees weren't luminous at all. However, the stars were clear as they glowed radiantly in the midnight sky. The beauty of the stars made me smile slightly. I then looked down from the stars onto the forests that surrounded my home. The outline of the forest was shown by where the trees hid the stars. Each tree was black, however, the closer they got to my window, the more green was shown on the branches of the trees. I looked back into the distant trees as my eyes gently began to shut again. As I looked at the more distant trees, I saw a small difference. One of the trees had a small blond yellow patch on it. I must have been seeing things as I drifted off to sleep.

After a few seconds, I briefly opened my eyes. The yellow thing had moved. It was now clung to a closer tree. This was beginning to seem a little strange. I closed my eyes again.

I opened my eyes.

My heart dropped out my body as I flinched back and began squirming violently in my bed. I was hoping that I was dreaming, because the blond haired thing was now against my window. Staring in at me, with her blood red eyes.

I recognised her.

I recognised her tight platinum blond curls

It was Lauren. The new girl from the Volturi.

I flinched away from the window, causing my bed to disappear from beneath me as I tumbled off the edge. My heart was pounding in my ears so loud that I didn't even hear the thud of my landing. I was shaking uncontrollably. In my mind I wasn't sure whether or not to check over my bed to see if she was still there.

I rolled onto my side and held my body tightly to try and stop a scream from breaking free from my lungs. By this point, I couldn't see anything, my eyes had gone blank. I was too paralysed in fear to do anything. Why was _she_ here? Were the rest of the Volturi with her?

"-smee? Renesmee? Renesmee, what is it?" demanded Bella as she knelt by my side, I didn't reply to her at first, my eyes were still fixed on the window. Edward was the next person for me to recognise, he scooped me into his arms like a baby and sat me on my bed. I was still frozen in shock.

"Ness?" I heard Jacob's voice and snapped out of my trance as my eyes searched the room for him. Jacob came and sat on my bed, in front of me. He lifted his hands up and held my face in his palms. I looked into his brown eyes, gaining my focus again. My heart's pace slowed down as I acknowledged Jacob's presence. His darkened face blocked out the window. I lifted up my hand and put them over his on my face.

He removed his hands from my face and moved them down to my waist to pull me closer. Jacob put his arms round me, and my body slowly heated up. He kissed the top of my head.

"S-s-she's here" I stuttered "Lauren's here".

"Lauren was _here_? In your room?" asked Edward. I shook my head.

"No, she was outside my window."

I rolled my head round Jacob's chest so that I was able to see the window again. She was gone. Suddenly I felt like a bit of a idiot, maybe it _was_ a dream. Maybe it was _all_ a dream. I was trying to convince myself that maybe I was imagining it. But, truth be told, I couldn't even convince others that everything was fine when it wasn't, the same went for convincing myself.

"Jake, she's closer than you thought" said Bella in a slightly shaken voice. I took in the words Bella had just said.

That was it.

Lauren was the one who Jacob was looking out for on patrol. That's why he didn't tell me, because he knew how her stare in the meadow had worried my deeply. That's also what he meant by I would panic, I would worry.

"She's the one, isn't she?" I asked "She's the _other bloodsucker_ you were looking for. She's the one Sam told you about". I began to breathe, quicker and deeper. Jacob stroked my hair.

"And see how you're reacting to it. That's what I meant by when I told you I didn't want you to know" he told me.

"You lied to me" I said blankly "You told me it had nothing to do with the Volturi".

"No, you asked me if it was the _Volturi_ and I said no. I was right, it wasn't the Volturi, it was only Lauren" he insisted. Now he was just splitting hairs. But I was too shocked, too tired to argue. I no longer felt safe. Even in the arms of Jacob and the presence of my parents I didn't feel safe.

"Jacob, what are you even doing here?" I demanded.

"I wasn't going to leave until you woke up. Just to make sure you were okay" he insisted. How sweet of him.

"I'm gonna…. Go back to sleep" I told them. Bella gave me an 'ok' smile.

"Okay then, sleep tight" she said, Bella then leaned forward and kissed the side of my head.

"Don't worry about Lauren, okay? We're not going to let her hurt you" insisted Edward, he stroked my shoulder and stood up, helping Bella up too. Edward put his arms around Bella's waist and led her towards my bedroom door. I watched the two of them as they left my room and shut the door behind them.

I collapsed into Jacob's arms and let out a huge sigh.

"I'm gonna stay with you tonight, just to make sure you're safe" he insisted.

"Jacob, no-"

"Look Ness, I can't leave you now. Knowing that that blond vamp is lurking somewhere out there." he insisted. I laid my head on his shoulder and looked up at him.

"It never seemed to bother you before" I moaned.

"Yeah, that's because I didn't realise how close she was to you then, but now I do" he replied "Besides, imagine if…" he paused and sighed "Imagine if she had gotten into your room. You wouldn't have had time to scream, you would be gone. I could never live with myself knowing that I could have been by your side then, I could have protected you. I could have-"

"Jacob stop. She _didn't_ get into my room and you _are_ by my side protecting me" I said softly. My head slid off his shoulder as it laid on one of my pillows.

Jacob moved his head down onto the pillow next to it. He watched me, and I could still feel his stare after my eyes were shut.

"Please don't stare at me whilst I'm sleeping" I insisted.

"Sorry. It's very hard not to." he sniggered. I brought my hand up from underneath the covers can squashed it against his face.

"What are you doing?" he muffled, my hand was covering his mouth too, so it was hard for him to speak. I burst out into laughter as I opened my eyes again.

"Nothing." I giggled as I watched my hands create rolls on his face. Jacob lifted his hands to remove mine from his face. I released his face and gently rested them on his chest.

Jacob exhaled deeply.

"Listen to me. I've told you once or twice, but I don't mind telling you again. I would never, ever let anything happen to you. You mean everything to me Ness, never forget that. I will _always_ love you, and as long as I do, I will fight anyone and anything away until the end of time if it means keeping you safe. I promise".

His words were like charming lyrics with his voice being a tranquil tune in the background. It felt like a bedtime song to help me slip away into unconsciousness. And it worked.

**This chapter is one of the longest since the ever dragging 1st chapter, hopefully they'll stay around this length :) anyway... I'll update again soon. Like said before, the last chapter was more or less the midway point. From now on, things slowly (and quickly) unravel... :D keep reading! and review, review, review! X x**


	16. The Bonfire

**Okay, I think it's safe to say that this is the longest chapter yet. Anyway, hope you enjoy it!**

_**THE BONFIRE**_

I COULD REMEMBER GOING INTO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY, ON FULL ALERT. BY THE TIME I woke up that morning, Jacob was gone – which was a _huge_ disappointment. I'd sat in front of my dresser forever, constantly glancing over my shoulder to see if Lauren was pinned up against the outside of my window again, or worse – on the _inside_. But she'd never show. My parents had harassed me before I left for school, trying to assure me that everything was fine and under control. Whereas, _I_ thought differently, I knew that everything wasn't fine and that everything wasn't under control. But I had insisted that I was content and the least bit fazed by last night's terrors.

At lunch, I sat with my knees sandwiched between my body and the table whilst resting my head on them. I doodled little drawings onto the table with my fingers and stared past the white table into the dreaded land of my thoughts. Abi was rushing a paper that she was meant to have finished last night, but Embry had snuck over and caused a distraction. Eli was doing everything possible to piss her off – as best friends do. Every time she tried to reason with him, he would deliberately go completely of topic and she would quietly scream at him before returning to her book.

It _was_ kind of funny – I just didn't feel like joining in the conversation at that time.

"…enesmee? _Renesmee_? Are you okay?" asked Eli, leaning over the table, staring at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I finally said.

"You sure? You've been kinda weird all day – you haven't been _this_ edgy since last October." He stated.

I moved my head from my knees and sat straight.

"_So_? – It doesn't matter Eli. I'm just going through a phase." He returned to his chair. "hopefully." I added

My phone buzzed in my pocket for the seventh time that day. I _knew_ that it was Claire. But this time it buzzed again, _and _again – was she _seriously_ calling me? She'd been texting me all day, showing me her possible wedding dresses. I didn't check each one thoroughly, I just looked them over and gave her yay or nay. Maybe she had realised that I wasn't as enthusiastic as she or I had hoped to be. I slouched further in my seat and hoped that no teachers were close by.

Abi looked at me, stunned. "_Renesmee_ – you can't just answer your phone in the middle of the cafeteria!" she hissed. I rolled my eyes and answered it anyway.

"Claire, I'm at school. What is it now?" I snapped.

"Geez, _someone's_ moody – what's up with you today? You've been really off in all your texts. Is everything okay?" she asked.

I sighed. "Yes, everything's fine – I'm sorry. I'm just a little… _tense_ – that's all."

"How come?" she asked. "What has put you in a crap mood _this_ time."

"Shut up." I grinned. "You make it sound like I'm _always_ moody."

"You generally are. It's like you're on an everlasting period-"

"You're disgusting."

"And _you're_ in a sour mood. I know you're a vampire and everything, but you don't need to act like you life is a living hell and worship the devil and stuff. "

I tried to resist a smirk but I couldn't, then I started to laugh.

"_See_." She sang. "I can cheer you up even when the world's about to end. What is wrong anyway? School stress? Jacob issues? – you name it and I'm qualified to deal with it."

"Thanks, but I don't think you can deal with one. Trust me."

Silence.

"Vampire troubles?" she asked.

"I'm surprised Quil hasn't told you."

"Well, he tends to keep vampires a secret from me – I swear he sometimes thinks that I don't know that they even exist."

I smiled. "I'm sure he's just trying to keep you safe, Claire. He doesn't want you to know anything that could worry you. There's nothing wrong with that-"

"Coming from _you_. Miss I-Can't-Stand-My-Boyfriend-Not-Telling-Me-When-There's-Trouble?"

"That's different." I insisted.

"Is it?"

"Yes – are you going to the bonfire tonight?" Abi said nothing but put her hand up as she worked.

"Don't change the subject, but yes I am. Are you?"

"Yes. Listen, I've got to go Claire. I'll see you tonight!" I called down the phone and hung up.

"I'm going." Abi informed me.

"I thought you were under house arrest or something, except from school and in the event of a fire?"

"_And_ if I'm out doing something educational. By the way I'm 'coming to your house tonight to do an art project'" she hinted her excuse.

"Oh yeah – _real_ subtle Abi. Great. But it you get found out, I will _not_ be held responsible for your eternal life imprisonment, just so you know."

She rolled her eyes and buried her face in her work again.

"So I guess you two are busy tonight?" said Eli, playing with the loose but of thread from his shirt.

"Yeah." I sighed. "Why?"

He shrugged. "I dunno, I just thought we could go and see a movie or something."

"If it's another vampire movie you can count me _out_." Snapped Abi from behind her book. A force punched my heart at her words. Abi and Eli still didn't know about me and my family – I guess they should by now, but the right time never came up. Eli was _completely_ in the dark – he didn't know about the wolves _or_ about us, however Abi knew about the packs and everything. She just didn't know the vampire side of it and after what she had just said – I was glad. I didn't know what could have directed her into disliking vampires, Embry wouldn't have turned her against them. I just didn't know.

"Why?" I asked, trying not to act offended. "What's wrong with them?"

"_Nothing_," she snapped. "Until Eli recently grew an obsession with them-"

"It's _not_ an obsession." He grew embarrassed, "Besides, this one isn't like the others – it's slightly different. You'll come, won't you Renesmee?" – no pressure.

"Sure, why not. A trip to the movies is something different – tomorrow night?"

"Cool. Tomorrow night it is."

Abi sighed and shook her head in disappointment at me. I shrugged off her stare and she continued with her work.

It was quite humid for April. The uncomfortably clammy air was making last period, Calculus even more insufferable. But, it didn't matter; the bonfire was tonight and it was going to be a break away from life that I needed. I've noticed how, just when things get better for me _something_ happens to turn it to crap again.

"So, I'll see you at six?" said Abi as we walked into the parking lot.

"I'll be there." I assured her. As we turned towards my car, I found Jacob waiting for me. Abi noticed and held back slightly.

"Okay, I'm gonna go and find Eli. I'll see you tonight." And she was gone.

"You were gone when I woke up." I announced as I approached Jacob.

"Yeah – I don't think your parents are too keen on me being there in the morning when you have to go to school."

"How come?"

"I'm a distraction. That's usually frowned upon when it's your education." He insisted.

"It doesn't matter – you can just stand outside my room whilst I get ready."

"Not sure if that'll work. Don't you remember when you were late because of me last month?"

I did remember that, actually. And what made it worse was that I had Carble first period. My alarm clock had screamed at normal time, but because Jacob was with me – I ended up getting up an _hour_ later. I was pretty late for Chemistry – like Carble needed anything _else_ to hold against me. That happening had worried me a little – I didn't want Bella and Edward to turn into Abi's parents. But then again, I still got my work done – that should have been enough, right?

"Yeah, I remember. So – what's the plan for tonight?" I asked, heading to the driver's door to throw my bag in.

"I'll come and get you just before six." He said. I had to wonder why he was here? Surely he could have called me to tell me that; by the way he was talking, he wasn't here to collect me or anything.

"So what are you-?"

"I had to make sure you were okay, after yesterday and everything that's been going on…"

"Okay. Well, I'm fine. A little edgy – but _fine_. Thanks." I faked a smile at him.

He sighed painfully. "I'm sorry for not saying anything." Then he pulled me into his arms and I wrapped myself around him as his lips pressed against mine.

"I'll be back later." He said between kisses, and not long after – he was gone.

Trying to find a good piece of clothing to keep me warm without having to wear a Parka was a nightmare. Nothing was thick enough. There were two parkers in the corner of my closet that were crying to me. 'Wear me, I'll keep you insanely warm' they cried. This was becoming ridiculous. I had – what I thought was every type of clothing possible in this wardrobe, but I was wrong. I just couldn't find a sweater.

I gave up trying to find one. I spun round and headed towards the door out of my wardrobe. Before I exited the room, I flicked the light switch and the wardrobe went dark. As I walked back into my bedroom, I was suddenly blinded. A bright light shone through my window, it was an orangey, radiant light. I looked away from it.

As my head turned I saw an almost perfect line run along the wall. The line was thick and it glowed a combination of red, orange and pink.

I moved away from the line so that I was able to see its source. I looked out of my window. The sky was covered in a dark grey cloud when I first entered my wardrobe. By this time the clouds had split horizontally, revealing a band of yellowy, orange sky. Exposing a brilliant, blazing, deep yellowy, red sun.

I looked down at my arms as my pores crystallised in the sunlight. I looked around my room as the dazzling sparkles from my skin reflected off the walls. As I walked closer to the window, I could see and I could feel the glitter of my skin become stronger and become more resplendent.

I opened a section of my window. As I did, the cool, freezing air hit my body. I inhaled slowly, taking in every bit of the chilled air I could. I could feel the air within my body, it didn't feel as if it stayed in my lungs. The air ran through every bone in my body, swam through the blood that my heart pumped and cooled the lungs it became imprisoned within. I then exhaled the converted warm, moist air. The refreshing scent of soil and wet grass replenished my room. The wind that was able to get through my window, lightly danced through the curls in my hair.

The day was rapidly approaching it's twilight.

I watched the sun as it's colour grew darker and darker. A small, radiant red semi-circle was left behind the cloud. I turned away from the window, as I did, the band of sunlight that ran across the other side of my room, became thinner. Within a few seconds, the light looked like a mere laser line. It wasn't long until the line had vanished. As I looked around my room, I saw the sparkles fade as well. Everything in my room that was once extraordinary, was now gone. The perfect yellow, orange and pink line and the millions of minuscule diamonds embedded in my skin were no longer visible. However, the chilled air still stroked the back of my neck and shoulders.

I wondered over to my bed. Once my knees were touching the edge of my bed, they gave way as I flung my body onto the bed. Everything went black as my face sunk further and further into the duvet. My face would lift off it slightly when I breathed, as my chest would expand, pushing me off covers. I was feeling sleepy. It seemed that when my eyes were closed, they were happy. Where as, when they were open, they were not.

As I slowly drifted off to sleep, I was suddenly woken by Jacob's call.

"C'mon Ness! Time to go!" he called. His voice made me jump slightly, as everythingelse in my room seemed so relaxed and quiet. I slid my hands out from underneath me and placed them on the bed, pushing my body up.

"Coming!" I sung once my face was off the duvet. I slid off my bed and stood up, straightening myself out. As I walked round my bed towards the door, my eyes laid upon the back of the door in shock. On the back, on a hook, was a grey sweater. I had spent nearly an hour trying to find one in my wardrobe, and after all that, there was one on the back of my door the whole time. I glared at the sweater as I approached it, hoping it could feel the burning anger in my stare. As I flung the door open, I snatched the sweater off the back of the door and stormed out the room.

I put my arm through one sleeve and then out the other arm through the other. Once they were both in, I zipped it up all the way to the top. When it was done up, I snuggled my face into the sweater, so that only the top of my nose, and my eyes were visible. I slipped my hands into my jeans pockets and clench my fists into balls. I walked round the corner and stood at the top of the stairs. Jacob looked up, his face lit up once he had seen me. I smiled happily at him as I skipped down the stairs.

My pace slowed down as I walked towards him. A soft, beautiful symphony sung in my ears. I turned my head. Trying to find the heart of the sweet melody. Behind me, next to the stairs. Edward was playing a soft tune on his piano. Bella was sat by his side, listening to the beautifully flowing melody he played. This tune was very familiar, it was often heard throughout the house. Bella's Lullaby, he called it. Bella was watching Edward's fingers as they glided swiftly from each key. Edward was looking down at the keys he played. As he kept his head down, I saw his eyes look up at me, and a crooked smile grew on his face. My first thoughts were 'show off', that only made his grin wider. His eyes looked back down upon the piano.

"Return my daughter safely won't you Jacob" he insisted, still watching the piano. I was about to pick up my pace again, when Jacob's hands slid around my waist like snakes.

"I always do" Jacob replied.

"I'll be back later" I waved to them as I turned towards the front door. Jacob kept one hand around my waist as we walked.

"Ok, have fun. Remember it's a school night, so don't be back too late" called Bella as we walked out the door.

"Ok!" I called back, then Jacob shut the front door behind us.

I walked down the front porch steps and headed towards the forest. Jacob pulled me back once he had realised where I was going. My body swung around and hit his chest.

"What?"

"I think we should take the car" he insisted, staring out into the forest. I was about to ask why, but , the reason soon struck me. Lauren. It panicked me slightly, when I remembered what happened last night. I looked up at Jacob and nodded in agreement. I reached one of my hands into my back pocket and pulled out the keys to the Volvo. I unwrapped my waist from Jacob's arms, slid my fingers through his and skipped towards the car. As we approached the car, Jacob pulled me back and took the keys out of my hand.

"I'll drive" he said, as he took the keys from my hand and winked at me. I blushed and rolled my eyes at him, I then walked round to the passenger's door.

"You're becoming quite attached to driving my car, aren't you?" I sniggered, opening the door and sliding into the passenger's seat. Jacob and I shut our doors at the same time.

"Well, it's smooth and easy to ride. So I _like_ the car, I don't love it as much as you do, but I don't hate it" he insisted. I began to smirk as the engine purred.

The forest roads were a dangerous place to be driving at night. I watched the headlights as small creatures of the night, such as moths flew into the light. Jacob drove carefully around the corners. It was unpredictable when a frantic deer might pounce into the road. However, if it was killed, at least I wouldn't have to hunt for it. My eyes searched around the sides of the road to look out for any deer or other animals that weren't aware of the car. As I looked over to my left, my eyes laid upon Jacob. He seemed to be doing something very similar to me. As well as driving, he was also looking around the road. However, I wasn't sure if he was looking out for the same things as me. My theory was, he was on the lookout for Lauren.

"Are you staring at my eyes again?" he asked, a smug smile was forming on his face. I smiled at him.

"Not this time, no" I said. I fixed my eyes back to the road.

"Listen, tomorrow, I'm going out, to look for that _Lauren_" he told me "So I won't be able to stay with you too late tomorrow". That then reminded me, tomorrow I was supposed to be going to the movies with Eli to see some insufferable vampire thing.

"Okay, but I'm not sure you'll see me." I told him. "I'm going to see movie tomorrow night with Eli."

He looked at me funny.

"Didn't anyone invite Abi?"

"Of _course_ she was invited, she's just not coming."

"Is it because of that weird education, social life thing her parents are forcing her to do?"

"No – it's because she doesn't like the movie that we're going to see."

"Which is?..."

I shrugged. "I dunno, something about vampires."

When I looked back at Jacob he was smiling.

"_What_?"

He shook his head. "Nothing." He insisted. "Just a bit ironic if you ask me." And he was right, I irony was almost painful to me. It was likely to be awkward sitting through a movie where suicidal vampires push themselves into sunlight to save the ones they _pretend_ to love or something.

"I know." I sighed. "But it bugs me that Abi doesn't like vampires. I mean, _one day_ I want her and Eli to know about me and my family, especially Abi. I mean, surely she wants to know what Embry is looking for when he goes out on patrol?"

He shrugged. "She doesn't consider it her business, so she doesn't ask. I don't think you need to worry about that."

"But Jake, she only knows _half_ of who I am." I insisted. "There's so much I'm hiding from her and I'm rapid running out of excuses."

As he changed gear, he slid his finger through mine and held them tightly.

"Don't worry about it. When the moment to tell them is right, you'll feel it. _Trust_ me."

We stopped not far from Jacob's house and walked to the beach.

"I hope you brought your sick bucket." Said Jacob as the sound of the waves neared.

"Why?" I asked, worryingly.

"Emily's brought you a little more food to try. When you said that you'd give your stomach time to adjust, she sort of jumped at that."

I smiled. "That was nice of her."

"But Ness, you _don't_ have to eat it, you know that right?"

"I do. But maybe yesterday was just a shock for my stomach, maybe this time it won't freak out so much."

"Always so optimistic." He grinned. I wasn't really sure if he was joking or if he meant it. I thought that over recent years, optimism hadn't exactly been my strongest trait.

After an hour of being there, all the food was gone with the wind. If you were a stranger to these people but you knew that some were wolves , some were human and one was vampire – by the way they ate, you'd know exactly who was what by the end.

Jake and I had been the last to arrive, Claire had saved us a spot on her and Quil's drift wood that she insisted could be a swing if everyone joined in. It was amazing that girl was older than me.

On the next load of wood, Abi and Embry sat nearest to the edge of me. Throughout the night there had been conversations that the entire group joined in and there had been little conversations between people. Just like the one I had with Abi:

"So are you still going to see this movie tomorrow night?" asked Abi as she picked at a chicken bone.

"Yes- why? Have you changed your mind into coming?" my voice sounded hopeful.

"No, I just wondered. Enjoy your demon movie then."

"Abi they're not- well, I'm _sure_ not _all_ of the vampires are demons. You have to have at least a few sane ones otherwise the movie won't be that interesting."

"Renesmee they're _vampires_, you can't tame a vampire anymore than you can tame a tiger to be your pet cat called fluffy."

"How do you know?"

"General knowledge."

"I'm sure they're not _all_ monsters. They'll be a few who can control themselves. They can _all_ control the amount they eat-"

"How do _you_ know?"

I shrugged. "General Knowledge."

"I wish you wouldn't use my own words against me."

"Then chose more reliable words-"

"Er – Renesmee?" I hadn't noticed Claire get off the driftwood as she stood behind me.

"Yes, mother?" I grinned. She hated it when I did that, but when my parents weren't around, Claire often pretended to be them. It used to irritate the hell out of me, but now I just play around with it.

"Look, Abi – Renesmee could very easily argue her point until she's blue in the face, so let's stop now before things get to far."

"Yes, let's. So Abi, did you get your paper in on time?" I asked.

It took a while for Abi to adjust to the new direction the conversation was going.

"Yeah – but my teacher said it looked rushed."

"Funny that considering that exactly what it was."

After another hour, it was dark. The only thing lighting the beach was our bonfire. It was then when Emily finally brought out the small box of little foods she'd prepared for me to try. Seeing as Emily wasn't in the best shaping for quickly getting up and down, I walked over to her and sat on the sand next to her. Everyone was lost in their own little conversations to notice _me_ move towards the food.

"I just thought that I would start you off light, if you'd like to try it again." She said as I opened the box. "You don't have to eat it now, if you don't want to. But if you _do_ eat it – eat in within the next few days, okay?"

I nodded. "Got it. But I could eat something now I guess, I mean yesterday was really just a shock for my stomach – but maybe it'll be alright now?"

"Only one way to find out." She smiled. "Oh! – and I bought this for you too." She handed me another box, but this one was empty. I looked at her.

"Just in case." She whispered. Jacob moved from the driftwood and came to sit with me whilst putting my hair away from my face. I was guessing he did that in case I threw up. I reached my hand into the box and pulled out the apple first. I pulled the apple close up to my mouth, and sunk my teeth into it. I pulled a section of the apple off it's core. I chewed it for a while to savour the taste, and it actually tasted really….really…..sour. I cringed at the sourness of the apple, then swallowed. Everyone sat in silence, waiting. The only sound now heard was the waves. I waited for the horrible twisting and churning feeling to return to my stomach. After a few minutes, I still felt nothing.

"Okay, I think we're clear for the apple" I breathed. I could see a happy smile appear on Emily's face out of the corner of my eye.

I reached my hand in for something new. This time, I pulled out the chocolate. I split the wrapping at the top and peeled it back to reveal a brown, rectangular-shaped chocolate bar. I took in a deep breath, and with that breath also went in the bit of the chocolate bar. I bit a piece off, the chocolate bar was a lot easier to bite through than what the apple was. The chocolate tasted quite nice, I continued to chew then swallowed. Again, we waited. Everything seemed fine, until my stomach decided the chocolate wasn't the best thing for me to eat. It began giving that horrible churning feeling again.

"Uh-oh" I mumbled, I was beginning to feel a pressure to push with my throat. Emily quickly grabbed the other box she'd given me off the floor. Emily placed it below my chin. I put my face down. Suddenly a gush of blood and other repudiated foods filled the box.

"Oh my _god_!" I heard Abi over my slightly blurred hearing. "Renesmee we need to get you to the hospital – you're vomiting _blood_."

Same as yesterday, the vomit had seemed to suck the life out of me. I held my face over the box long after the vomit had passed.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked, still holding my hair back. I shook my head.

"Are you gonna vomit again?". I shook my head. I didn't feel sick anymore, the only thing that was making me feel unwell was the burning feeling I had in my throat. However it wasn't burning due to the acids in my stomach. It was burning due to thirst.

I lifted my head away from the bowl and Emily removed it from my lap. Jacob began to rub my back as I lifted my head.

"I _need_ blood." I whispered. Jacob stopped rubbing my back. "I think I might go into the forest, up there" I said pointing to the forest just up the hill.

"Okay then, whatever will make you feel better" insisted Jacob as he began to get up. Once he was almost stood, I pulled him back down again.

"I'm gonna go alone. You stay here."

"No, I'm coming with you. You're not going out there alone." he argued. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Jacob, please, let me go. If I'm in danger in anyway. I _will_ tell you." Jacob stared out into the ocean for a couple of seconds before he replied.

"Ten minutes." he said "If you're not back then I'm coming to find you". Ten minutes? I wasn't even going to be in the forest in ten minutes, not unless I ran. My energy was so low I didn't know if I had enough to run.

"Okay, I'll be back, don't worry" I reassured him. I lifted my head up to kiss him on the cheek. I then pushed myself off the ground and staggered pass the fire, along the beach. I could hear Abi questioning why no one was worrying about my vomiting blood, but that soon faded away.

As I walked, I became colder. When I was sitting, I had had Jacob's arm around me nearly the whole time, so I didn't feel the cold. I could still feel Jacob staring at me anxiously, even when I was almost off the beach. As my feet treaded on the first patch of sandy grass, I looked up at the forest that was growing nearer and nearer. Most of the trees were almost invisible because of the darkness.

However, there was something that wasn't invisible, something familiar. It was the yellowy, blonde patch again. The same one I had seen yesterday.

Lauren.

I slowed my pace, I was going to turn round and cry to Jacob that she was there. However, I didn't. I held back the call, seeing as I was curious as well as terrified. My pace picked up as I marched up the hill. I kept my eyes on the grass, making sure that my feet didn't disappear from beneath me. Once I was at the top, I lifted my head up to search for Lauren again. She was gone. I was slightly relieved that she wasn't there, however, I was also slightly annoyed too. I tried to pick up my pace as I stormed into the forest.

I couldn't see anything; only objects close to me were slightly visible. Even though I was on the lookout for Lauren, I still felt as if I should do what I originally came in here for.

Hunting.

I would only find something small, just an animal to keep me going. Maybe a deer. I cleared my mind of Lauren, and everything else. Then let my instincts take over…

It hadn't taken me long to find a deer to drain. The change was incredible; I was feeling powerful, strong, and needless. This was good. I backed away from the deer and wiped around my mouth to remove the blood. I turned round to walk back to the beach. The question then struck me… What way did I _come_?

I was about to turn around, when the silence of the woods was broken by a sudden rustle in a few bushes nearby. Although it was hard to see them clearly, my eyes still focused on them. I began to back away slowly as my heart began to beat, fast.

"Hello Renesmee" said a low, malevolent voice. I jumped at the sound, suddenly Lauren appeared in front of me. She stood on the other side of the deer, watching me.

"What do you want?" I demanded, still backing away "Why are you here?". Lauren began to chuckle as she stepped forward and within a split second, she was in front of me.

"And why should I tell _you_?" she asked.

"Because it obviously concerns me. What are you hunting me or something?" I asked, my heart was still racing.

"I'm only here to check up on you. Same as what we did a few months back"

"_We_? Is there more?" I demanded.

"No, it's just me" she said moving closer to me.

I continued to move back until I hit a tree, I tried to move further but she stopped me. She lifted up one of her long slender fingers and rubbed it gently against my cheek. She smiled and sniggered quietly to herself.

"It would be such a shame to ruin, such a pretty face" she said, scratching her blood red nail against my skin, trying to pierce it. The curiosity I had felt was long gone now, I could now only feel fear, and I was feeling it more than I ever had. I was about to scream for Jacob, hoping that I wasn't too far away for him to hear. I took in a deep breath, as I was about to scream Lauren smacked her hand over my mouth.

"You scream, and I _kill_ the dog" she snarled. I didn't say a word. "But I could do worse than kill him" she said eyeing me angelically. "I could kill him like this.." I watched Lauren carefully, she didn't take her hand away from my mouth. I watched her, she morphed. The face slowly became familiar as she changed, once she had transformed, I recognized the face. I didn't see it as often as others, I only saw it, when I looked in the mirror. She had morphed into me. I was pinning myself against a tree.

I began to squirm in her clutch.

"If you touch him-" I continued to struggle.

"You'll what?" she asked "I can take you down easier than him, after all, you're only _half_ a vampire. You're weak".

I glared at her, even though she looked identical to me, her change in person wasn't strong enough to cover her crimson eyes.

I put all my power into my arms, they were like electoral currents building up in my muscles. As Lauren continued to glare back at me, my arms shot up and pushed her away. As she flew, she returned to herself, and I no longer saw me. She crashed against a tree, I could see that she was going to come back for me.

As she got up, I sped away.. I whipped my head round to look back at her, her body brushed against the tree as she followed my tracks. I turned my face forward again and saw a tree running towards me. I didn't have time to stop, so instead I jumped onto the tree and began to climb up it. Lauren followed me up.

I was near the top of the tree when Lauren managed to grab my ankle. I kicked her in the face to make her let me go. As soon as her hand was off my ankle, I jumped onto another nearby tree. Both of us jumped at the same time, except this time, I jumped lower and she jumped higher. As we crossed ways in midair, Lauren tried to grab my arm, but her hand slipped. As it slipped, she ripped my sleeve near the top of my arm.

Instead of climbing down from the tree, I jumped. I twisted my ankle as I landed. I limped away from the tree as fast as I could. As I ran – or tried to, I heard Lauren come up behind me. I couldn't see her, but within seconds I felt her sharp nails claw through the skin on my arm.

I screamed as I collapsed to the ground. I looked over my shoulder and saw Lauren standing over me. I scurried up against a tree as Lauren slowly approached me. I looked into her eyes, they were aflame with fury.

This was it.

She was going to kill me.

I never got to say goodbye to Jacob, the only thing I said to him was "I'll be back, don't worry". I stared up at her, shaking. I saw her eyes change focus, from me to my arm.

Then it all changed. Her expression changed from intensive rage to horrified. She stopped walking closer to me, and stumbled back. What was wrong with her? Why was she suddenly different?

Why am I still _alive_?

"I can't kill you" she whispered hastily "I can't, I mustn't". She stumbled backwards again and ran away into the darkness.

I sat, frozen against the tree, waiting to see if she came back. My right arm was beginning to sting like hell. I looked down at it. Lauren had clawed me in the same place she had ripped my sweater. She had ripped through my skin almost like paper. There were three rips in my arm, dripping in blood. Luckily, they weren't so deep that you could see the bone. However, they would need stitching. With my left arm, I pushed myself off the tree. Then I clung onto my arm to slow down the bleeding.

I still had no idea how to get back. However, I chose to run behind the tree I was leaning against seeing as that was in the complete opposite direction from where Lauren was running.

I ran, holding on to my arm tightly.

Why couldn't Lauren kill me?

Not that I wanted her to kill me, because I didn't. I just wanted to know, why?

I didn't worry about it too much, seeing as Lauren wasn't going to be around much longer once Jacob found out.

I skidded to a halt.

I couldn't tell Jacob. If Lauren found out that I told him, she would kill him, and she would pose as me and kill him. I couldn't tell him, I would have to lie and say a bear did it or something.

'A bear got the best of me', seemed legit.

I began to run again. Soon, the sounds of the waves were back. I was going the right way! I ran towards the edge of the forest, I had never been so relieved to get out of a forest before.

The grass was slowly becoming more sandy as I walked down the hill. Jacob was going to be mad, I must have been more than ten minutes. My feet finally sunk into the sand. I walked onto the beach as the cold wind began to wrap itself around my body again. I looked over to the bonfire, everyone was standing up. Chattering anxiously.

I turned my head to look down at my arm again, most of the sleeve was no longer grey, only red. My hand was covered in blood too.

I staggered up the beach towards the group around the almost burned out bonfire. I looked around for Jacob, and I finally caught his eye.

"Ness!" he called and ran towards me as fast as he could. "_Ten minutes_, you told me _ten minutes_. I was about to come look for you-" his gaze fell on my arm, then he looked back at me again. "What happened to your arm?" He gently pulled my hand away, revealing the stench of blood and clumps of wet and dried blood stuck to my hand and sweater.

"Ness, what happened?" he asked, but the tone in his voice said that he already knew what happened.

"A bear got the better of me." I said automatically.

I looked back at the bonfire to find everyone watching us.

"I'm taking her home." Jake said to them.

Yep. He was pissed.

Jacob hadn't spoken a word all the way home. I was beginning to think, he didn't believe my story about the bear. He _knew_ it was Lauren who did this to me.

We pulled into the empty parking space of the driveway back at my house. Jacob got out of the car and slammed the door, the slam made me jump. Within seconds my door was open. I unplugged my seatbelt and stepped out of the car. As soon as I was out, I gripped onto my arm again. I was beginning to get a little irritated by Jacob's silence, so as soon as I was out of the car, I began walking quickly towards the house. My ankle would pinch from time to time, but it wasn't as bad as what it had been. Jacob was walking closely behind me, still silent.

What was _wrong_ with him?

I tried to ignore it for a little while longer as I opened the front door. Carlisle was sitting on the couch talking to Edward. Emmett was sitting with Rosalie on the stairs. Edward and Carlisle looked over to me as I walked in, Edward's expression changed to horrified within a split second.

"Whoa" laughed Emmett "What was the fight about? Was he not up for it tonight Renesmee?". Emmett began roaring with laughter, I looked up at him and snarled. Edward dashed to me. As much as I appreciated Emmett trying to ease the rock hard tension, I couldn't bring myself to smile and laugh it off. My arm was burning and my aggravated mood with Jacob was only making me more annoyed with the pain.

"What happened?" snapped Edward as he stood at my side in a second. Great, someone else to tell me how stupid I am. I suppose deep down _I_ believed that I was stupid, but I was the curious kind of stupid not just an idiot.

"Bear attack" mumbled Jacob as he joined my side. Carlisle got up from the couch and walked over to me and held out his hand.

"To my office" he said. There was a look in his eyes that showed seriousness, but there was another part that hinted '_the usual_'.

I lifted my left hand and placed on his. Carlisle guided me away from Jacob towards a door on the other side of the room. Edward and Jacob walked with me, until Edward stopped. "Wait here" he told Jacob. Edward was then by my side again. It wouldn't have surprised me if Jacob wasn't there when I was all bandaged up. He seemed really annoyed at me.

Carlisle sat me down on a chair in his office and Edward knelt down by my cut arm. He looked up at my face and began to stroke my cheek gently.

"I think we should get you a bell, Renesmee. At least then we will know where you are and we'll know if you're in trouble." Carlisle said with a handsome grin. He started to get some equipment together.

"I'm not a dog."

"Of course you're not," smirked Emmett as he appeared at the door "A dog would be better behaved". There were a few curses floating round my head at his words.

"_Renesmee_." Edward warned me.

"_Got it dad, _language." Emmett began to chuckle as he made himself comfortable, leaning against the door frame. I glared over at Emmett.

"Emmett, what are you even doing here?"

"I live here." He said quite plainly, I guess I should've seen that coming. I rolled my eyes and sighed, trying not to smirk.

I suddenly thought of Jacob, I wish I knew why he was mad at me.

"He's not angry with you Renesmee." Edward assured me "He's mad with himself."

"Why? He did nothing wrong." I insisted. Carlisle walked over with a tray of various medical equipment.

"Renesmee, you and I both know that I don't appreciate Jacob bringing my daughter home with nearly an arm missing. I can understand why Jacob would be mad at himself, and I am too. No matter how much you didn't want him to join you, he shouldn't have listened. This would have been the only occasion that I would have tolerated him forcing you into something you didn't want-"

"By _risking_ his life. Gee dad, that sure is nice of you. So you would much rather that Jacob had come with me and he _would_ be missing limbs, probably even dead. You would much rather that than me having a few stitches on my arm?" I demanded. I sudden sting burst through my wounds and I hissed.

"I think _a few_ stitches is a bit of an underestimation. From what it looks like, you're going to need roughly forty." Carlisle warned me. I suddenly felt my stomach turn.

After a couple of seconds, Edward carried on.

"Jacob _isn't_ my child and he isn't _my_ responsibility." He said in a very stern tone.

"But _I_ love him." I argued with a louder voice. I looked my father carefully in the eye.

"That's strange. For the past five minutes, that's not what your thoughts have been saying."

A quick and frustrated sigh passed my lips.

"Look, yes I am mad at Jacob, because he's holding his self hatred against me. But just because I'm mad at him doesn't mean I don't love him. I'm pretty sure there are times when mom is mad at you but she doesn't love you any less." I told him. I felt I had finished my sentence with a hint of victory.

I looked away from my father and my eyes found Emmett.

"Is he still here?" I asked, trying hard not to get my hopes too high.

"Yeah, I think he's waiting here just in case we have to cut your arm off or something… he would like to know." Emmett smirked. I glared at him, but the fact Jacob was still here made me feel slightly happier.

Forty stitches were going to take a long time. I was worried that he still might give up within fifteen minutes and go home.

"You're going to have to take the sweater off Renesmee" insisted Carlisle, I nodded and gently pulled the sweater over my head.

I saw the wound in a whole new way now. It was a lot larger than what I thought it was. Carlisle poured some antiseptic onto cotton sheets and began to wipe it over the wound and around it's area.

"OW!" I yelped.

"Sorry."

"What did she want?" asked Edward. I held my breath, I wasn't sure whether or not to tell Edward. Even though, I didn't have much of a choice, if I didn't tell him verbally, then he'd only hear it in my thoughts.

"I don't know. I tried asking her, but she wouldn't tell me" I told him.

"Why didn't you tell Jacob?" asked Carlisle.

"Because she told me not to" I insisted.

"If she told you to go and jump off a cliff would you do it?" asked Edward.

"If it meant keeping Jacob alive and safe then yes" I replied. Edward let out a long, frustrated sigh.

I knew he didn't want to have this argument again and to be honest, nor did I. But he made it difficult for me by letting his problems with Jacob get in the way of how I felt.

"Well" I sighed "I don't think he'll have to be as protective now". Edward looked up at me, away from my wound that was slowly being cleaned up.

"Why?" asked Edward.

"Because, Lauren can't kill me apparently" I told him. Carlisle's hand paused on my skin and he looked up at me.

"What do you mean she _can't_ kill you?" asked Carlisle. That was the same question I was thinking. In the woods, Lauren had run away from me too soon for me to ask.

"I don't know" I told them "She ran away before I could say anything". Edward and Carlisle exchanged concerned glances.

"Wait, why are you being like that? Isn't that a good thing?" I asked. Carlisle sighed as he turned his glance away from Edward and returned to fixing my arm.

"It _is_ a good thing, but it's also a suspicious thing. _Why_ can't she kill you? _That's _the question" Carlisle said softly.

"What did she say to you?" asked Edward. I would have told him, but I was tired of explaining my memories. I could just show him.

_Dad, couldn't you just come over to this side_, I thought, nodding my head towards my left. _Then I can show you_. Edward nodded and stood up from my right and moved swiftly over to my left. As he knelt down, I lifted my left hand and placed my palm on his face…

"_Hello Renesmee"… "What are you hunting me or something?"…._

"_We're only here to check up on you, same as we were a few months back"…_

After an hour or so, Carlisle had finally stitched and bandaged up my arm. I walked back into the living room with Edward, to find Jacob still there. My heart leaped slightly at his presence. Jacob was perched against the back of one of the couches. He had his hands in his pockets and he was looking down at the ground. He didn't look up as I entered.

"Well, I'm gonna go to bed" I sighed. Jacob still didn't look up.

"Thank you for bringing me home Jacob" I said softly. He still didn't look up, nor did he say anything. I was beginning to find his behaviour rather rude.

I was too tired and too annoyed to argue with him. Instead I walked swiftly towards the stairs and began to walk up them.

"Goodnight" called Edward as I was halfway up the stairs. I looked down at him and he smiled supportively at me, I smiled back.

"Night dad".

I walked into my pitch black room and shut the door. I leant my body against the door and slowly slid down it, my head in my hands by the time I reached the floor. Tears began to fill my eyes and they poured down my face into my hands.

I did know how Jacob felt about me. He loved me, and I loved him in return. I loved him more than words could describe. However, I was still right, it was best that Jacob hadn't come with me. Otherwise he could have been dog meat by now, literally. I knew that he knew that it was Lauren, I knew it from the first moment he saw me walking back on the beach. I couldn't help but lie to him, I loved him too much, I wouldn't risk his life.

What if Jacob never spoke to me again? What if he was only there to protect me?

He was only there when I was about to be killed by a vampire or crushed by a meteor. Any other time, it was as if he never existed. The thought only made me cry more.

Suddenly a knock came from my door. I jumped at the sound and scurried up.

I wiped my face and opened the door.

Jacob was standing outside it. His hand was leant against the door frame. This time he was looking at me.

"Can I come in?" he asked. I wanted to say to him "You're always welcome in my room", but I was still a little annoyed with him. I didn't say anything, I only opened the door wider. Jacob saw that as a grant to his wish and walked in, I shut the door behind him.

He stood in front of me. I crossed my arms and stared up at him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be like this with you; it's not your fault. It's mine" he said softly.

"Yeah, Edward told me about that. Jacob it's not your fault-"

"Yes it is" he interrupted me as he walked towards my bed. "I should have come with you. If I had then, this wouldn't have happened to you".

"No, it would have happened to you instead, or maybe even worse" I said with an irritated tone, walking over to him.

"I'd much rather it was me than you" he insisted. I shook my head as I sat down on my bed. The tears on my eyes lashes shimmered in the moonlight. Jacob dropped onto my bed and moved closer to me.

"I will find her, and I will kill her" he growled. I put my hands down to reach Jacob's.

"Jacob, she can't kill me. Just leave her to linger in the trees, hopefully she'll fall out and break her neck" I giggled slightly. This time, Jacob smiled at my joke. I felt a lot happier in his presence now.

"If only it could be _that_ easy." He insisted.

I sighed "I've inherited _way_ too many danger magnets from my mother."

"Well, at least it keeps me busy when I'm not with you."

"Jacob, don't-" I didn't want to start another argument about safety with him.

"Just be careful tomorrow night when you go out. Please?" I asked, holding a firm grasp on his hands.

"I always am" he reassured me.

Jacob leant forward and his lips crushed against mine. Within a fraction of a second I was kissing back. Small electric currents buzzed through my lips, pounding like my lips had their own heart. The bed quietly groaned as Jacob's body moved closer to mine, and inside my body singed as his hands wrapped around my back. I leaned forward so our bodies were touching and I slowly slid my hands up his chest until they finally had hold of his face. For the first time in my life, I had never wanted Jacob to be with me so badly. But it wasn't the usual wanting to hang out with him and just have him by my side. It was far more than that. My other wants and fears in life were wiped out. Now I could only think of being with Jacob, having his lips against mine, our bodies linked with one another and just being together.

I was taken out of my desiring thoughts by Jacob gently laying my body on the bed. As he lay on top of me, I linked my legs round his, again, another way of keeping him as close to me as humanly possible.

Suddenly, our lips separated, and it wasn't me who did it. I had an uncontrollable urge to tell him what I wanted and what I was thinking. But a part of me was fighting against it, its weapon being – biting my bottom lip so hard that only groans would be made, no words. As Jacob raised his head away from mine, I waited for the rest of his body to raise off me. But it didn't. His eyes had been on my lips ever since he left them, however, they finally lifted to meet my gaze.

"Are you _sure_?" he asked. It was like he could read my mind. Although, after a quick thought, it occurred to me that maybe the behaviour of my body may have been a bit of a give away to what I wanted.

I had lost control of my body as my head nodded. Truth be told, I had never imagined me losing this side of my innocence just after a painful argument. I had always expected, even _dreamed_ of candles for some reason. Tacky, I know, but it seemed normal, and that was something my life lacked. However, I didn't really care. It wasn't about the environment it was about the person I was giving it to. And I was absolutely, positively sure that Jacob was the right one.

As my jeans loosened, my mind returned to the dream-like reality that I was living. I had made a habit of zoning out, because Jacob's t-shirt was nowhere to be seen and it most defiantly was not on his body. Not that it bothered me. Whilst he slowly slid my jeans off, I began to unzip his shorts. A part of me was still amazed by what the rest of the night had planned, but another part of me wanted it to happen even faster.

I lay beneath him, both bodies bare, both lost for words. The seconds ticked on and I was waiting for him to back out of this. I wouldn't have blamed him, it was kinda scary. And the fact that the rest of my family were in the same building, awake, able to hear us and my father could hear our thoughts – none of the above were reassuring.

"Do you not want to?" I asked, my voice sounding more shaky than what I expected. I tried to make my eyes seem convincing that I wouldn't be offended if he didn't want to. He stared deeper and deeper into my eyes. The more he gazed, the faster my heart raced - through the panic of him backing out and though the panic of him not. Maybe I _wasn't_ ready, still. If I was then I shouldn't be this panicked about this, right?

Jacob took in a deep breath, his hot breath was like a panic relief on my face.

"If I hurt you, you have to tell me." he insisted. I thought the first time was meant to hurt anyway. But I then realized that he was agreeing to do this, good panic covered my body.

"I will." I promised.

Jacob placed one hand on my face and held it whilst he softly stroked my cheek.

"I love you." I whispered to him. I made it sound like I was never going to see him again. Even though, if I turned out quite bad at least. It would be the last time he would have sex with me, that was for sure.

"I know, I love you too." He smiled. Jacob lowered his head to mine and kissed me. I began to kiss back to take my mind away from the pain I was beginning to feel. I had managed to hide the pain until one time I accidently winced. That small, microscopic wince was enough for Jacob's body to freeze.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?" he asked. Like I said, the first time was meant to hurt.

"No, I'm fine." I reassured him. It took him a while to seem convinced, but his body unfroze eventually and he carried on from where he left off.

And it was, undoubtedly – the best night of my life.

**Did you like it? Let me know! :) Plus, (i did this a few chapters ago) If there's anything you'd like to see happen with Renesmee or anything then lemme know and i'll see if i can twist it in somehow! **

**Keep reading and please review! :) i'll update soon!**


	17. The Confession

**Here's the next chapter - this one is a lot shorter in comparison to chapter 15, but anyway, I hope you enjoy it! ;)**

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><p><strong>THE CONFESSION<strong>

I DIDN'T THINK THAT I'D EVER WOKEN UP ON SOMETHING AS HIGH AS CLOUD NINE. Last night had been the best night of my life, so far. Even the trauma of being currently hunted didn't faze me at all – all I could feel was bliss and contentment, and it had been the first time I had felt like this in a long, _long_ time. And I'm talking when I was two kind of long ago.

I had woken up way before Jacob, but I didn't move. In fact I waited for him to wake, so I could catch him before he disappeared so that he wouldn't be a 'distraction'. Whilst I waited, I thought some more. I ended thinking about how strange it was to think that _he_ was the same Jacob that I partially grew up with. The same Jacob who was my best friend, like my brother – then I got a little freaked out so I pushed my thoughts in other directions. Then I wondered if he'd ever thought that too. Had there ever been times since he'd been back where he remembered when I was just little Nessie, without a care in the world? – I didn't know and I wasn't sure if I _did_ want to know.

Anyway, I lay there longer, my head in the clouds as I waited for Jacob to wake up.

Eventually he did, but later than I expected, _much_ later. By the time he woke I had partially dressed myself in shorts and tank top whilst sitting on the edge of my bed – watching the forest outside my window. I didn't realise he was awake until he sat up, wrapped his arms around me and started to kiss my neck.

"Good morning." I said with a grin.

"-d morning." He said between kisses.

"I thought you were supposed to leave me when I had school?"

"I am." He stopped kissing me and I turned my head to him. "But I figured if I left before you woke up after _last_ night – you might be offended or something. Plus, after what happened to you in the forest, I wanted to make sure-"

"That I'm never alone?"

"You're not creped out are you?"

I smiled. "You're just trying to protect me, there's nothing wrong with that."

He was silent for a moment and then – he started _laughing_.

"_What_?" I asked, offended.

"You've woken up today a changed person? – you hate me being over protective."

"Only when I'm not there to make sure you're okay. When you're with me then you can do whatever the hell you want – as long as I can stop you when necessary." I insisted.

We sat there in silence for quite some time, but I think we were somehow having a conversation telepathically or something, well I was with him anyway. I rested my hands on his hands and sent him thoughts as they came to my head.

We'd sat there for ages.

"Oh god-" I put my head into my hands.

"What's wrong?"

"Last night – my family were in the house. They'll've heard _everything_. This is gonna be _so_ embarrassing, and Emmett… Oh god, _Emmett_…" I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.

And again, he started to laugh.

"Jake-" I sniggered. "It's _not_ funny."

"But it _is_ and it'll be fine, don't worry. I'm sure they won't say anything."

"But Emmett won't be able to resist-"

"Let's face it, _what_ can he say that you haven't heard before?"

"This is _Emmett_, I'm sure he's got fresh material he's been saving for me." I insisted. He kissed my head again and kept his lips there, and then my worries just floated away. I turned my body around and clung to him as I moved his lips for my head to my lips. Gradually, I pushed him back onto my bed and we stayed like that for a long while – a _very_ long while.

"Crap! I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late – I'm _already_ late!" I was rushing around my room whilst trying to button my jeans, fasten my bra and chose a top at the same time – I was doing 'ultimate' multi-tasking. Jacob just sat on my bed, highly amused by my rushing around like the freakin' world was going to blow up.

"Urgh! _Why_ is it – whenever I'm late I always have Chemistry first period? I need to brush my hair!" I threw myself at my dresser but couldn't find my hair brush – typical. So I used my fingers and just ran them through.

I was already tired and yearned for nightfall – it wasn't even lunchtime yet. Jacob rested on his elbows with my bed sheets sprawled out over the lower half of his body. Whilst I pulled my fingers though my hair, I saw him smirking in the reflection of my mirror.

"Jacob stop laughing." I grinned, I wanted to laugh too – I must have looked hilarious. But this wasn't a laughing matter. I was gonna be eaten alive, _again_.

As I tried to pack my school bag, I tossed Jacob his clothes.

"Just so you know – you're probably going to have a headless girlfriend by tonight. She is gonna _kill_ me. I might start stating names – 'Sorry I'm late, my alarm clock didn't go off, my parents didn't wake me and my boyfriend forgot to remind me that it's a weekday.' – that'll work." I paused and looked at him – he was a _fast_ dresser.

He raised an eyebrow – "You done ranting?" he smirked. I opened my mouth to respond, but shut it. Then I felt a smile break out on my face and I started laughing. Why the hell was I letting that _dragon_ they call a teacher get to me? So what if she was pissed I was late? She hated me already, why should I care?

"I'm done." I grinned. He walked over to me and slid his fingers through mine as he led me out my bedroom.

Downstairs, the living room was empty – which I was extremely grateful for.

"You won't see me tonight." I told Jacob as we went down the stairs.

"Got it – you're at the movies-"

"-and _you're_ patrolling. Be careful, okay? – I don't think I did us any favours last night by fighting her. Just don't let her intimidate you."

"I won't, don't worry-"

"Well, well, well-" I heard Emmett's voice behind us as we reached the bottom. "Look who finally decided to get up?"

"Emmett-" I started. "Not now, I'm really late."

He held his hands up innocently.

"I wasn't going to say anything." He insisted. "I was just heading upstairs to see what damage you two animals did last night."

"_Emmett_!" I hissed.

"Oops, did that slip out?" he grinned, heading upstairs. Was he serious about my bed not being intact?

Finally Jacob spoke up. "Sorry to disappoint you – but you're wasting your time. No damage done."

Emmett turned and came back downstairs.

"Hold on, before you go-" he disappeared and I could soon hear him in the kitchen. What was he up to?

Seconds later, Emmett returned with a small ice pack in his hand. He held it out to me.

"Just in case you get any pain…" he smirked. My mouth dropped and I immediately looked at Jacob, hoping for him to say something. He held his hands up.

"Hey-" Jacob grinned, "that's a compliment to me."

"_Wha-_" I looked from him to Emmett. "You two are just- _argh_!" I threw my hands up as I stormed out the front door. _Without _taking Emmett's ice bag. I felt a smirk grow on my face as I headed for my car.

"You going to the movie straight after school?" Jacob called as he followed me.

"As far as I know. Eli should know the details and stuff – I'll let you know if anything's different. I _would_ like to see you later-"

"I'll try and hold it off for as long as I can. But we need to go when the sun sets."

"I know. I'll see what I can do. But in case I don't see you. _Please_, _please_ be careful." he put his hands on my shoulders and gently rubbed them.

"We'll be _fine_, we always are. Don't worry – enjoy your _vampire_ movie." He smiled as he kissed my head. I crinkled my nose as I wrapped my arms around him.

"You're late." He told me.

"Frankly, I don't care. I think I might skip Chemistry today." I pulled away and gently kissed him before rushing to my car. Although I wanted to skip Chemistry, I still had Art afterwards and wasn't too keen on missing _that_.

"Look who showed up?" Abi was already sitting in her usual spot near the back when I reached Art. Luckily, everyone was still heading to second period once I got there, so my lateness was subtle – until Abi practically shouted it out to the world.

"Sorry, over slept –no, time flew – no, alarm didn't go off." I gave her various excuses, but wasn't sure which one was realistic and which one of those were closest to the actual truth. Abi was raising an eyebrow at me.

"Jacob slept over last night, didn't he?" she grinned.

"Maybe…" my cheeks were now ablaze.

"Uh-_hu_, thought so." She smiled proudly before getting up to gather paints. "So-" she said, returning. "Are you alright now? I mean, _what_ the hell happened last night? Everything felt like such a _blur_."

Find a new excuse card, Renesmee.

"Well-" I began. "I'm a _very _picky eater, so my stomach reacted badly to the food."

"Alright, and what happened after you left?"

"Er- I-Er-I had to go back to my car to get my medication and fell on something on the way back – hence the arm."

She studied me for a moment before shrugging and getting on with her work. I wasn't sure if she was convinced, but she didn't bring it up for the rest of the day.

And the rest of the day _dragged_. Eli was harping on about this movie through lunch, whilst Abi tried to change the subject when she could. I on the other hand slipped in and out of thought, whilst participating the conversation when I needed to.

My mind was briefly on the movie when my phone got a text message. I looked at it – it was from Claire.

_I can't believe you didn't tell me!_

_You were _supposed_ to tell me!_

_:( _

"What were you meant to tell her?" I hadn't noticed Abi glancing sideways at my phone. I knew straight away what I was meant to tell her, but was embarrassed to reply with Abi peering over my shoulder.

"Nothing." I insisted, hiding the phone from her whilst preparing a reply.

_I know – I'm sorry. I was late for school because of it! Well, sort of. _

_I'm really sorry _

_I was gonna tell you, I just didn't know when. _

_We'll meet this weekend or something then we can talk about it! sorry!_

I sent the reply and put my phone in front of me, staring at it, waiting for a reply. A minute later, she replied, but Abi whisked the phone out of under my nose before I could read it.

"Abi!" I went to grab the piece of table where my phone was, but Abi had opened the text and started reading it – _aloud_.

"_Tut tut- I bet your parents are very disappointed in you Renesmee Cullen. Not to mention disappointed in Jacob by_ _putting your 'sexual activities' before your education. Ha! I can't wait to hear about it – little Nessie is finally a woman! _Smiley face." Abi passed me my phone with her mouth hung open.

"Oh, so _that's_ why you were late this morning. Wow. Y'know when I assumed this morning that you _slept_ with Jacob last night, I was implying that you slept in the same bed as him. Not _this_-"

"Okay!-" I took the phone from her. "I've got enough of Emmett and the potential reaction of my parents to deal with – I don't need you and Claire nagging me too."

"I'm not nagging, Renesmee – I'm subtly congratulating you-"

"Whilst I'm gonna try and move this conversation _away_ from Renesmee's sex life." Eli interrupted. Thank god!

"_Thank you_, Eli."

"Is this gonna be gory?" I asked Eli as we joined the back of the queue outside the movie theatre. The main entrance to the theatre was packed. Eli and I stood at the back, it didn't take long for more people to join behind us. This movie was clearly supposed to be a huge hit. The title of their newest movie was printed in bold, sliver and bloody letters on a billboard above the theatre. I did wonder if we were even going to get tickets.

"I dunno, why? You're no squeamish with blood are you?"

I snorted. "Hell no. The gorier, the better."

"Wow, everyone wants to see this movie" said Eli as the line moved a centimetre "Clearly gonna be pretty big."

"Honestly. A huge craze about some _movie_, its ridiculous" I groaned.

"Okay, _somebody's_ moody. Do you wanna go home?" he asked. I shook my head.

"No" I snapped "I mean no thank you. Sorry, it's just Jacob's gone out on- tonight, and I'm just a little worried about him, so I'm feeling kinda edgy. That's all"

Eli chuckled quietly to himself. How dare he!

I was worrying about Jacob; because I thought that he might get killed, and all Eli can do it laugh! What a pri-

"You're worrying about _him_? I think he can take care of himself, I mean come on, and he's a pretty big guy. To be honest, only an idiot would try to piss _him_ off."

I looked at him. "_Or_ someone who _is_ capable of hurting him? – possibly effortlessly?"

We walked through the entrance doors into the lobby. Everyone was crowded around the food desk, shouting out orders. They all looked like a bunch of wild animals. Eli moved forward the turned round so that he was opposite me.

"Do you want anything? Are you hungry? Or are you _thirsty_?" he asked, Eli seemed to put emphasis on the word' thirsty', and personally, didn't like it.

"No, I'm fine thank you" I said as I flashed him a quick, light smile. Eli smiled at me, again, it had a suspicious look to it.

"Okay, what's with the acting weird?" I asked as we walked past the crowd.

He shrugged. "Well, y'know – seeing as we're going to see a movie about vampires and vampires-only drink-bl-" he gathered that I was unimpressed. "-never mind."

"Right, well, let's just move on – shall we? Besides, getting food and drink looks like it could take the next decade so let's just sit down?" I pulled him towards the doors to our theatre. He resisted at first, but he soon realised that I was right about the length of time it would take, so he obliged.

I wanted to die. I _actually_ wanted to curl into a ball and die. I had felt bad enough coming to see this movie, but I thought it would be a change – _big_ mistake. Just sitting here, watching this movie made me cringe. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying it. Eli, on the other hand, well, I couldn't really tell what he was feeling. The more wrong compared to reality the movie was, the worse it was. The worst part was – I couldn't distract myself with anything! I couldn't play with my phone; we were sat in the very middle of the row so I'd be being awkward to go to the bathroom. I slouched further in my seat and watched as the rivers of fake blood poured from this terrible actress's neck.

Eli saw me slouch and leant closer to me.

"Do you want to leave?" he whispered. I sharply looked at him to find him looking sincere – he _meant _it?

I nodded quickly. "Yes please."

The lobby was so much different now. It seemed like a ghost town. Nobody was even at the food desks anymore. No one was waiting outside.

Nothing, deserted.

I headed towards the front door. I heard Eli yawn behind me.

"You tired?" I asked.

"Yeah, I was up late last night. Researching" he told me. I guessed he meant he was doing homework.

"I found out something quite interesting y'know" he continued.

"Did you really?" I said, approaching the food desks. I heard Eli's footsteps slow down behind me.

"I know about you, Renesmee." he said blankly.

My heart stopped and so did my steps.

I had to think of something, quick.

"….I know something too - I'm confused" I lied. I turned round to face Eli, he began to walk closer to me.

"I've been recording strange things about you. Like during gym – when you hit the ball and what you did to Jacey and how you never seem to eat anything-" I said nothing.

"Well, I chose to do some research. I found some other little things along the way, and a lot of those things, seem to relate to _you_"

– I stood still, staring at him. Anxiously – "The baseball, Jacey's nose, Jacey's window, you don't eat, you're never in school when the weather is nice. I finally see it now, it all ties together. You're a vampire, aren't you?".

Hearing him say the words were like daggers being shoved through my skin. I was clueless now, I didn't know what to do. Did I lie to him? Or did I tell him the truth? – Even though Eli could be a jerk, he was still my best friend.

"Is that why you brought me here – to see this movie? You wanted to see how I would react to Hollywood's interpretation of vampires?"

"No, I just thought it would be quite affective. Honestly, I'm glad Abi didn't come – I needed to talk to you about this, _alone_. I didn't want her involved-"

"_Eli_-" I started. "Can you promise me something – well, actually I need you to promise me several things – but this being the first."

"What is it?"

I took a deep breath. "If I tell you the truth, I won't lose you, will I?"

Eli stumbled back and supported himself against the nearest wall. He started to tremble, ever so slightly.

"W-wait- so it's true?" he stuttered.

I nodded. "Yes, sort of. But Eli-"

"Holy crap, my friend is a vampire." He slid down the wall to the floor.

"Okay, Eli now I need you to listen very, _very_ carefully. One, Abi can_not_ know about this, alright? _I_ need to tell her but in my own way. Two, in fact _no one_ can know and I mean not a single living soul can know, okay? It's meant to be a secret Eli and I don't want the entire world finding out because of _my_ friend's big mouth. And three," I paused and waited until I knew I _definitely_ had his full attention. "-I _promise_ that I won't hurt you, _ever_. None of us will-"

"_Us_?"

"Yes, me and my family. We don't hunt humans Eli; you have no reason to fear us."

I joined Eli's side and sat next to him on the floor. The two of us sat in silence for about ten minutes.

"So, a vampire huh?" said Eli, his voice still shaken. I nodded slowly, turning my head to face him.

"Eli, please don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you." Eli didn't look me in the eye, his head kept facing forward.

"Renesmee, you can say that all you want, but how do I know that you mean that? How do _you_ know that?" said Eli, eyes still facing forward.

"Eli, look, the first thing you need to understand is that I don't drink human blood, I_'ve already _toldthat. My family has raised me to be the same as them and drink animal blood. This way it makes us look less like monsters" I insisted.

"Ok, but another thing I don't understand. Your house is so open and light. How do you not burn up?" he asked.

"Quite easily. It's a myth" I laughed. Eli didn't laugh, or smile.

"So, why are you never in school on sunny days?" he asked.

"Because people would know that I'm different. Tell you what, next time it's a sunny day, come over to my house and I'll show you what happens" I insisted, smiling at him. Eli still didn't look at me, why?

Did he think that I had some sort of hypnotising ability?

I was beginning to feel sorry for him. I leaned in close to him to give him a hug. As my arms stretched out around Eli, he flinched back.

"No, please. Stay away. I have a wooden steak and a slice of garlic bread in my bag and I'm not afraid to use them" he insisted. Well, this was ridiculous.

"Eli-" I began, and I chuckled a little, but his face was still serious. "Are you _serious_?"

"I still don't know what you're strengths and weaknesses are-"

"Then _let_ me explain them to you. I _need_ your trust, Eli." I held out my hand. "_Please_."

Silence.

He stared at my hand at first as if I had crap on it. It took several minutes for him to cool down.

Gently, he placed his hand on mine.

"Eli?"

"Yes?"

"Do you trust me?"

At first he hesitated, but then he nodded. "Yes, I trust you."

I smiled at him, and he lightly smiled back.

"Alright – now you need to know a very important thing first that _only_ applies to me."

"Okay." Eli straightened himself up.

"I'm only half vampire."

He looked at me funny. "How is that possible? – when you were changed did only half the amount of venom or blood or whatever go in?"

"No, - my mom conceived me when she was still a human, so I got human genetics from my mom and vampire genetics from my dad-"

"But your mom's a vampire?"

"Yes. But because of my horrific birth she would have died otherwise."

"Right." He nodded and his mind registered the information. "So if you're only _half_ vampire – then what can you do that vampires can't?"

"I sleep, my vampire abilities aren't as strong as the others, I _could_ eat normal food if I chose to, but most importantly – I have a beating, functioning heart. I'm not cold, my eyes aren't a nice topaz color and I'm not as stunning as other vampires."

"Oh, I beg to differ." He smiled. I smiled at him and suddenly my cheeks burned. Darn my blood rushes!

"What else?" he was starting to look less scared and more intrigued. I was starting to feel relaxed myself.

"Well, I have a gift where I can-" my phone vibrated in my pocket. Someone was calling me. It was Bella. Then the thought hit me – I hadn't told her I was going to the movies – but surely Edward had heard me think about it?

"Hold on." I told Eli and answered my phone.

"Hi mom."

"Renesmee, where are you?" her voice sounded slightly snappy.

"Port Angeles, why?"

"Okay, come home. Now. I don't want you being alone-"

"I'm with Eli-"

"Alone without someone to protect you."

"Why?- Mom, what's _wrong_?" This conversation was starting to sound familiar. It reminded me of when my mom called me to tell me that Alice had had the vision of the Volturi coming last October.

"It's J-" she paused, but I already knew who's name she was about to say.

"What's happened to Jacob – is he okay? Is he hurt? He's not – oh mom, _please_ tell me he's not dea-"

"No, he's not dead. But he's been hurt – bad." She said.

"What condition is he in?"

"A bad one. Carlisle is fixing him up and says that he'll be fine – but for now he's in a pretty rough condition."

"Okay, I'll be right there-"

"No!" she snapped. "Renesmee, _don't_ come here, I think it would be _a lot_ better if you stayed at home. I'm leaving with Carlisle – I'll meet you at home-"

"Wait, why can't I see him? – is it _that_ bad?"

"Lauren did this to him, Renesmee. But the way the pack saw it – it was _you_ who did it. We're trying to explain to them that it wasn't you – but they're all too angry and aren't in the right frame of mind to believe it."

"But what about Jacob? Surely Jacob remembers Lauren's gift about shape shifting? Why can't he tell them?"

"Because he's unconscious Renesmee – he has been ever since they brought him home."

I was silent for a moment.

"Mom-" I said, firmly. "I _have_ to see him."

"Wait until tomorrow. First thing in the morning you can go see him, but just let the pack have their time with him and let them cool off."

"But mom-"

"I _know_ you love him Renesmee, so don't try to pull that with me, But the wolves are extremely unstable at the moment and need some space-"

"Well can't they have their space somewhere else?" I insisted. "Like the woods, maybe?"

Bella sighed on the other end.

"Just come home, end of story." And she hung up. This was entirely my fault.

Lauren warned me that she would hurt Jacob if he found out about what she did to me last night. But then again, she had said she'd _kill_ him – maybe this was just a warning?

Or maybe she _had_ tried to kill him, but he'd just managed to defy death.

Was his condition _really_ that bad? – I wouldn't be able to find out until tomorrow morning.

Stupid alpha protection thing!

**Hope you enjoyed it! :) I'll update again soon! Please review! :) x x**


	18. Accusations

**Here's the latest addition to Full moon - a bit of a long one. :)**

**ACCUSATIONS**

IT WAS THE FIRST TIME IN AGES WHERE I'D WOKEN UP WITH A START ON MY MATTRESS soaked in my own sweat. But that was only because tonight was the first night in eight months where I'd had a dream that, to me, stretched beyond nightmares.

For the most part I spent my time wondering if I was wake or if I was asleep. But even with my eyes shut, everything seemed different or at least _something_ did. My room had an eerie sensation – if I was still _in_ my room at all. I had fallen asleep on my bed, but now I was in it, the sheets up to my chin.

Something I didn't understand was how my bed felt so cold. When there's no other air being let in, surely it would be warm.

But it wasn't. It was cold, _freezing_.

I finally started to accept that I could potentially be awake, so I opened my eyes. Straight away I noticed the dark figure lying next to me in the bed, I jumped before quickly examining the person in my bed. But I would've recognised him anywhere, dark or daylight.

It was Jacob. His heavily shadowed figure was lying awake next to me, staring at me with his darkened eyes.

"J-Jacob?" I stuttered. At but he didn't answer.

However, his body lifted slightly off the bed. Once he was up, being supported by his one arm, Jacob moved his left and placed it next to my right arm so that his own body was forming an arch over mine. Jacob lowered his body slightly, it looked like he was about to do a push up.

"You're finally awake" he said in a soft and sensuous voice. His voice made the place feel all the more surreal. It was strange, he sounded like Jacob. However, it _didn't_ sound like Jacob.

"Yeah, I guess I am" I quivered. Jacob quietly chuckled, insidiously. Again, he was becoming more and more surreal.

He bent his head down so that his face was closer to mine. When he was just millimetres away from me, he inhaled deeply through his nose, and exhaled through his mouth. The rest of Jacob's body continued to lower, his chest finally touched mine. I flinched back at the iciness of his skin.

"Jacob, you're ice cold" I whispered, my voice shaking. When I could see the silhouette of his cheeks rise, it clicked. That was when I knew this was a dream – Jacob couldn't be a vampire. He just couldn't, I was dreaming, but that hardly reassured me. It wouldn't reassure me until it stopped and I was out of it – but I didn't know how to. Jacob closed his eyes as he looked up and turned his head towards the window. The moonlight was shining through in rays. I watched as his head turned towards it. He then opened his eyes as he turned his head back towards me. As his eyes moved, a small ray of moonlight shimmered across his crimson eyes.

_Wake up_

_Wake up!_

"I'm sorry, I just can't resist you anymore" his eyes became empowered by the hunter within him.

"No Jacob, _please_!" I begged him, tears streaming down my face.

They say that if you die in your dream, then you die for real. Did that apply to me now? I was going to be killed by the very person I would die _for_ – how ironic. The demon within his body seemed to have calmed slightly. As his face became less longing for blood, his body became weaker and less prepared, also, his eyes were no longer fixed on me. Jacob dropped his head in defeat.

"I can't do it" he breathed. I didn't say anything to him, my heart continued to beat at an excessive speed. Jacob lifted his head and stared at me, his face looked guilty and ashamed. He shook his head a couple of times as he leant his head down to kiss me. At first I flinched, as I did, Jacob held back his kiss to wait for me to calm down.

Once I was calm, Jacob moved his head closer, eventually, our lips met. I was afraid to kiss him, at first I couldn't, seeing as his lips were like ice. After a while, he seemed more like the Jacob I knew, so I began to kiss him back.

It was so strange. There was a feeling, some kind of force that was pulling me closer to him. My body no longer reacted to his icy skin, maybe it was because my skin was becoming number the longer and harder his body pressed against mine. My mind was becoming fuzzy and blank; I didn't even notice how Jacob's lips were no longer on mine. They were moving slowly along my jaw line and from my jaw to my neck. His lips stopped moving around and just focused on one area of my neck. I gently closed my eyes as I tried to concentrate on getting my heart rate to slow down.

Jacob had been kissing my neck in a rhythmic pattern, for a split second, that pattern changed. A screeching burn came from my neck as I felt Jacob's razor sharp teeth bite into it. I tried to scream, but nothing came out of my mouth. Nothing but dying breath passed my lips. My bewildered eyes stared up at the ceiling as my body became helpless.

Suddenly, I could hear a voice, laughing.

I could just see a figure in the corner of the room immerging from out of the darkness. At first, I could see Lauren, however once she was in the moonlight she morphed into me.

"I don't think he'll miss you" she hissed, a devilish grin was forming on one side of her face. I stared at her as she walked closer, my eyes began to fade out. However, I was just able to see her calm figure launch at me like a lion to a gazelle.

I tried to scream again, even though I knew I was pretty much dead. But this time, I heard the scream as it soared out of my throat like a spirit.

When my eyes opened, I was being cradled by my mom and my dad sat in front of me.

I was shaking. I was sweating. I think I was also crying a little.

That was the first time I'd ever dreamt about Lauren, I was just grateful that I didn't wake up to her too.

As much as I wanted to be strong, I couldn't. So, like a child, I naturally sunk into Bella's arms. We didn't say much at first, in fact, we didn't say anything at all. The three of us sat there waiting for me to calm down. Bella rested her chin on the top of my head whilst I leant against her chest and my tears stained her shirt. Edward moved closer to me, gently rubbing my back. And now everything felt empty again.

I was reminded of how it had been for fifteen years and the countless nights that consisted of my traumatic dreams. But nowadays, Jacob would usually appear out of nowhere and comfort me too. But this time – he was nowhere to be seen. I so desperately wanted him to come through my bedroom door or climb through the window from the tree outside. I just wanted him to be here.

But he wasn't.

And he wouldn't be.

"I thought you'd stopped having these dreams." Bella sighed as I pushed myself off of her.

I didn't answer, I just nodded.

"Don't worry-" said Edward, "-we won't let her get to you."

I shook my head, "Dad, it's not Lauren hurting me that I'm scared of. I'm scared of what she might do to Jacob-"

"Renesmee," Bella began, "she only cut him. It's not that bad-"

"That's not what you said to me on the phone. But anyway – what if that's just the start? She doesn't want to kill me, we know _that_ much – but we all know she couldn't care less about Jacob and the wolves."

"We know, but as long as you're safe-"

"Can we _please_ stop acting like nothing matters more than me?"

"Renesmee-" said Edward, "You're our _daughter_. To us, nothing _does_ matter more than you."

Silence.

"And what about what matters more to me?" I asked. "Jacob means everything to me and if anything happened to him-" I stopped before I choked on my own words. Bella and Edward were silent, they watched as I tried to pull myself together.

"If we lose Jacob, you'll lose your daughter as well. We're sort of a package deal."

"Trust me – we've gathered that by now." said Bella, with a hint of a smile. Then she cupped my face in her hands.

"But listen to me-" she looked me straight in the eyes. "I don't want anything to happen to Jacob any less than you do – he's my best friend and, well, I don't know what I'd do without him."

"He's family, mom. He may not be like us – but as far as family goes, he's a part of ours and he always will be. Losing him would be like losing Alice, or Emmett, or Esme, or _you_ – nothing would be the same if we lost them, same as nothing would be the same if we lost Jacob."

Bella and I exchanged small smiles, and then Edward spoke.

"She's right."

I looked at him, amazed. He _agreed_ that Jacob was important to all of us? – that was a first.

"That's oddly nice of you." Said Bella, obviously she too was surprised by Edward's reaction.

He chuckled, "I've always thought that – I just know that I have a protective father reputation that I need to keep up. But seeing as Jacob isn't here, I can let it slip for a moment or two."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.

"I _knew_ you liked him really."

He kissed my head. "I wouldn't have let my daughter anywhere near him if I didn't."

"I would've found a way around you."

"I know you would've."

As far as the school knew, I was going to be late in – I had a "dentist appointment". I'd text Abi, telling her that I was _actually_ going to see Jacob after what happened last night. Apparently, she'd seen him last night. When she found out – she immediately assumed I was there, but found it strange that I didn't turn up at all. When I asked her about what he was like, all she said was "Unconscious and bloody, _very_ bloody." – my stomach turned slightly at _that_ text, but I thanked her and didn't check my phone again. I decided to miss morning classes – I would make it to school for lunch.

I parked outside Jacob's house and sort of lingered in the car. With the engine off, I sat there, staring at the front door. Never before had I dreaded going into Jacob's house so much. I was terrified of what condition he'd be in, but he should have healed a little since last night.

Reluctantly, I went to the door and knocked, gently. My heart started pounding in my chest. What if he's still unconscious? What if it's _really_ bad?

I stared down at my feet as a distraction.

The door opened. It was Billy. Did _he_ hate me too?

"Renesmee," he smiled. "I wondered when you would show up." – I guessed not.

"Billy, I'm so sorry about Jake-"I paused. "I _wanted_ to come last night, but Bella wouldn't let me. She said that the pack we're pretty, _temperamental_."

He nodded understandingly.

"They were, I'm glad you didn't come last night – otherwise you might've been in the same state as Jake, if not worse."

I gulped.

"But anyway, he's in his room."

"How is he? Is he awake?"

"Barely, he's half and half – maybe when he sees you he'll wake up a bit."

"-And the injury?"

"It's healing. Better sight than last night, let's put it that way."

I relaxed a little this time. As Billy let me in, I headed straight for Jacob's room.

The door was open ajar. I gently pushed it open an inch to find him lying on his back with his eyes half open, staring at the ceiling. As I slithered through the gap in the door, his head turned to me.

"Morning." I half smiled, shutting the door behind me.

"Hey." He smiled, "I was wondering when you would turn up."

I smiled lightly at him, but my gaze immediately fell on the layers and layers of bandages around his stomach. I dreaded to think what the damage looked like underneath.

"What part of 'be careful' were you having difficulty with?" I asked, kneeling at his side, my eyes still on the bandage.

"I _was_ being careful-"

"-so careful that you let her lure you into a trap?"

"I thought it was _you_." He insisted.

"Do you honestly think that I would do this to you?"

He shrugged, "Well, you were pretty rough the night before." He grinned.

I looked at him and then rolled my eyes before kissing his cheek.

"I wanted to come over last night, but Bella wouldn't let me. She said the pack would likely rip me to shreds seeing as you wouldn't be able to tell them about Lauren."

"Yeah – I heard. I'm sure they were just shaken up. At first they weren't sure if I was even alive, so I can understand their reasoning-"

"So you'd be happy for your pack to hate me and want to rip me up?"

"I said I _understood_ it – that doesn't mean I agree with it." He insisted, "As far as their train of thought goes, I'm irritated that they wouldn't think of another possibility."

I sighed and rested my head on his arm.

"Well, I'm sure Leah loved everyone hating me – she must've felt in heaven."

"I thought you'd gotten over Leah and her…_behaviour issues_?"

"As long as she's alive, I won't get over her – same as she won't get over me as long as I'm alive."

He smiled and shook his head before his gaze fell back on the ceiling. I suppose his condition wasn't so bad. I didn't doubt for a second that it had been horrendous the night before. But at least he was alive and he seemed reasonably content, which was enough for me. I moved my head off his arm and just stared at him. He was definitely awake now, but his mind was somewhere else. I watched his eyes as they subtly reflected the mood of every thought he had. Then I thought about that dream I'd had – where his eyes hadn't been so limitless, they'd just been red with the eye of the hunter.

"Are you starting at my eyes again?"

"Maybe…"

"Well, two can play at that game." He turned his head and looked me straight in the eyes. At first I flinched. However, after a while, I found myself staring at him again.

It was oddly nice. At first it felt more like a staring competition, but in time it was more like we were just staring at each other because we wanted to.

A few hours passed, during which I'd managed to move from the floor to being cuddled up under Jacob's arm, with a few layers of clothes disappearing along the way. We weren't staring at each other anymore; I just laid there with my head on his shoulder and doodled patterns onto his chest with my finger. Admittedly, we had drifted in and out of sleep in between kisses, stares and talk.

"Y'know – it _just_ occurred to me-" he said, moving a few strands of hair off my face. "_You_ should be at school."

For a split second, my heart shuddered. Then I looked at the clock to see it was actually two thirty in the afternoon. Oh crap.

"Crap." I muttered. "I was meant to be at school by lunch." Then I looked at him and smiled. "Oh well, it was worth it."

But as I said that, I sat up. My parents weren't going to be too pleased. I promised them I would only be at Jacob's for the morning, and there was a slight chance that they would ground me. But it was completely innocent – right? Time just passed by.

Who was I kidding? – I'd broken _way_ too many promises to my parents now. I would have to face a punishment at some point.

I sighed as I pouted at Jacob. "I think I have to g-"

My phone got a text.

Then it started to ring.

Jacob smiled. "_Someone's_ popular today." I had a gut feeling it wouldn't be in a good way.

But I was wrong; my caller ID said Eli.

"_Eli_? Aren't you in class?"

"No, I got out early. Listen I need to see you or speak to you – more about last night. I can't stop thinking about what you told me and _you_. Please – can I come over later?"

"Er- I don't know, Eli-"

"_Please_-"

"Why _must_ it be tonight?"

"Because-"he paused, "-because, I'll be piled with homework as of tomorrow. My biology teacher made sure of that. Tonight is the only night I've got free-"

"Alright, alright. But it'll have to be _later_ later. I'm staying with Jacob, and then I'm going somewhere else before I go home."

"Sounds good to me- _eight_ give you enough time?"

"Should do. I'll see you later" and I hung up.

I stared at my phone for a while, puzzling over Eli's desperation to see me. Next to me, Jacob steadily sat up.

"Is everything okay?" he asked putting a hand on my back.

I nodded, "Yeah – I think so."

"What did he want?"

I stared at Jacob for a moment before I remembered the conversation I'd had with Eli the night before. Did my parents realise what I'd done? – I still hadn't realised what I'd done. Should I have told Eli he was crazy, that there was no such thing as vampires? – Probably.

"Eli knows what I am." I told him. I didn't think to tell him gently, it was best I just pushed it out the way.

"What?-_How_?"

"Research." I said. "He's been keeping track of what I've done since he's known me and he's been searching for an explanation."

Jacob raised an eyebrow at me. "Aren't you a little freaked out by that?" he asked. "The guy's been keeping track of you and everything you do-"

"Obviously he's not spying on me. What I mean is he's been keeping track of certain things I've done that seem, _unnatural._"

"And what about your parents? What do _they_ think about this?"

"I'm not sure they know." I admitted. "I would've thought that if Edward had heard me think it – then he would've said something by now. But he hasn't."

Jacob came and put an arm around me.

"So I guess it's time?"

"For what?"

"For Abi to know too. If it was up to me – _I_ would've told Abi before Eli-"

"I didn't have a choice, Jake. Eli was there with facts. He already _knew_ what I was – he just wanted confirmation. I've told him that he _mustn't_ tell Abi and that I want to tell her. But I don't want to."

"Why not? She _has_ to know. Eli is gonna let it slip at some point."

"Eli was scared of me – when I confessed. I thought I'd lost him." I paused, "I don't want to lose Abi-"

"Ness, if she's dating a wolf, I'm pretty sure she'll be fine with a hybrid vampire as her best friend. Claire was fine with it-"

"But Claire and I grew up together. _Of course_ she was fine with it. But for all I know, Abi _could_ freak out. She hates vampires anyway – if she's not scared of me then she'll only hate me because of what I am."

"She can't hate you because of what you are-"

"_You_ did."

Uh-oh. I didn't mean to say that. Damn my verbal vomit! – But I guess it was true. Although it didn't last long after I was born, I knew that Jacob had wanted to kill me. He didn't know that I knew that, but although I was never told it, whenever I asked about before I was born, I managed to figure out that Jacob didn't like me very much then. It was silent for a while, I didn't know what to say except from sorry, but at the same time I was curious as to how he would react.

"That was… _different_." He said, finally. "I was scared for Bella. I didn't know what would happen. But I knew that whatever happened-"

"-would happen because of me." I looked at him for a second. "Funny how things turn out, isn't it?"

"And I don't regret a single way it turned out." He assured me.

"Do you ever think about that?"

"About _what_?"

"About how strange it is to think that I'm the same thing that eighteen years ago you would've given anything to kill. Then to think that I'm that same girl you used to be like a brother to when she was younger?"

He was silent for a long while.

"Sometimes." He said. "I don't think about the first part."

"Why not?"

He looked at me, his eyes locking with mine. Then he held my chin.

"Because I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you, _that_'s why. Months ago, when Leah hurt your leg – I was furious with her and trust me, she'll _never_ do it again if she knows what's good for her. But the other night, when you came back into the beach and your sweater was covered in blood – _your_ blood – I wanted to find that vampire and rip her throat out. And last night I had every intention of that-"

"Things just didn't go to plan."

He shook his head. "No," he said "they didn't."

"But," he continued, "I will never let anything happen to you. The other night I was an idiot to let you go out there on your own. I try not to think of what else could've happened, because it would only have been worse. I can't – _lose_ you. How many times do I need to tell you that before you understand?"

"I do understand." I threw my face forward and crushed my lips against his. Seconds later his hands slid round my waist and pulled me closer to him. I gripped onto his hair to keep his lips where they were.

But eventually, I let him go.

"I have to go." I whispered whilst trying to get my breath back.

"Where?"

"To Claire's. I owe her a conversation about my _recent activities_." I smiled. It took him a few seconds but he finally understood and grinned.

"Wonderful." He sniggered, "Enjoy your girly gossiping."

"It's not enjoyable when it's just plain awkward."

"I think there are worse people you could be talking about it to."

"I know – I still haven't been asked any embarrassing questions by my parents. I think that's a good sign." He smiled at me as I stood up from the bed, gathering my clothes off the floor.

Once I was dressed, Jacob walked me to my car. It was clear he was healing well. He managed to get off his bed and walk painlessly through the house.

"You're not patrolling tonight, are you?" I asked, unlocking the Mustang.

"Would you have it any other way?"

"Probably not. No."

"I won't go tonight; I'll swing by later – just to make sure you're okay."

"Jacob – I'm going from Claire's straight home. And that's it for tonight."

"That bloodsucker is unpredictable. _Don't_ underestimate her."

"Fine. I won't." I gave him a small kiss before I got into the car and shut the door.

Claire's house was on the way out of La Push. She moved there with her parents and sister just over a year after I was born. Jacob had offered to assist Quil with them moving and I decided that I wanted to come too. And that was when I first met Claire.

I was trying to stick to a timed schedule in my head. Once I was home – everything would be fine. I felt slightly on edge from the way Jacob was talking. Not that Lauren being unpredictable was anything new, but hopefully being with Claire could ease me up a bit and I would drive home normally without sitting on the edge. But I promised myself that I had to be home before dark.

"Come in!" Claire called as I knocked on her bedroom door. From there being no delay in her response I gathered I wasn't interrupting anything. In fact, I don't think Quil was there at all – thank god. I opened the door to find her sitting at her desk with her face inches away from her laptop screen. She looked around and her eyes grew wide.

"Hey!" she smiled, shutting the lid of the laptop.

"Hi-"she slammed into me and gave me the tightest hug I'd had in ages.

"What are you doing here?" she shut her door behind me.

"I was just passin' by – thought I'd stop by and say 'hi'."

"Have you been to see Jake?" she asked on a more serious note.

I nodded.

"How is he today?" she asked, "He looked pretty rough last night. Very bloody – might I add."

"He's fine. He can sit up and walk around – so he's healing well."

"That's good." She turned and made herself comfy on her bed. "It's a good thing you didn't see him last night – the pack were, let's say, _pissed_."

"Yeah, I know." I went to join her on the bed.

I sighed, "I just wish they understood-"

"They do now. But last night they weren't so interested in other possibilities. They know what they saw and they saw _you_ attack Jacob. I tried to explain to Quil last night, but he wouldn't listen. But, today – he understood perfectly."

"Oh." I didn't really know what else to say.

"But anyway, enough of that!" said Claire, she turned her whole body to face me. "Wasn't there something you were meant to tell me? Something you _promised_ to tell me?"

I started to grin and eventually it turned into laughter.

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry." I said. "I was just a little preoccupied with school and stuff – wait, how did _you_ find out?"

"Seth heard Jacob, Seth told Quil, Quil told me – the usual Chinese whispers." She grinned, "_So_- how do you feel?"

I scoffed, "How do _I_ feel or how did _it_ feel?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Both!" she grinned. "I couldn't wait to finally have your opinion on it."

I shrugged, "I don't know. I don't think words can describe it-"

"Sure they can. They're words – it's what they do."

"I dunno…" I sighed, "_Heavenly_…_ breathtaking… pure ecstasy… amazing… '_I really want to do it again' kinda thing."

She smiled widely. "Aw, that's sweet. How long where you at it for-?"

"_Claire_!"

"_What?_ I just wondered."

"Just because you gave me every detail of your first time doesn't mean I have to."

She didn't say anything, she just watched me. Her stares were always uncomfortable. She lifted her eyebrows and I automatically shrugged.

"I dunno…. Couple of _hours_?"

"Christ. That's pretty good for a first timer. I only lasted about half hour – but I suppose the more you do it the longer until you-"

I noticed how increasingly dark it was getting outside. As much as I loved talking about my sex life with Claire, I had to go. I had promised myself that I would be home before dark, plus I needed to meet Eli."

"Okay, listen – I'm sorry, but I have to go."

"What? But you only just got here. Why've you gotta go?"

"I need to get back before dark."

"Why?"

"Claire you saw what happened to Jacob last night – he doesn't want to take any chances with me."

"Wait, so this is Jacob's doing?" she asked.

"No, I promised him I would be home before it got dark. It's at night where I become the most vulnerable and Lauren becomes strongest. As long as I'm at home, she can't hurt me."

"Okay, well, have a nice night then. I think the pack might be over at your house later, I'll come too if you'd like."

"Why?"

"_Because_ I'm your _friend_?"

"No, _why_ is the pack coming over?"

"To apologise. I know you didn't see them last night, but they know that you'd been advised to keep away. And something about guilt and imprint and stuff – I dunno, they'll explain later."

I studied her for a moment, but accepted their decision.

On the way home, I did exactly what I'd hoped my visit to Claire's would make me not do. I was completely, one hundred and ten percent on alert. Once I'd driven through Forks, the street lights were on and local stores were shut for the night - so much for making it home before dark. Today, time had flown by and I'd barely had a second to think. But now I had the company of myself and even now I couldn't think straight. Once I crossed into forest lines, I should've reduced my speed, but instead, I drove faster. I wanted to be inside with my family as soon as I could.

The forest had never been such a daunting place before. I didn't know how close or how far Lauren was from me. For all I knew and could see she could've spotted my car ages ago and was following it from behind the trees - waiting to pounce as soon as I stepped out the car.

My heart pounded the whole way home, and when I reached home – I'd never been so relieved. I could just see the outline of Eli's Ford down the road. So Eli was here already. Great.

I parked my car on the drive, right where it was before. For a moment I hovered; I checked all my mirrors, making sure I couldn't see a blond haired shadow lurking in the mists of the trees.

Everything seemed clear.

So I ran from my car to the house quicker than I ever had and didn't wait to gently shut the door. When I slammed it, I felt the glass of the front door shudder for a moment.

"Jeez-" said Emmett, as he came down the stairs. "Shut the door, will ya!"

I hadn't noticed my parents and Rosalie in the living room on the couches when I came.

"Sorry, I just wanted to be inside-" I looked around, and noticed something odd.

"Where's Eli?"

"At home?" suggested Bella, "Where else _would_ he be?"

"But his car's outsi-" my phone started to vibrate in my back pocket. It was Eli.

"Eli?"

"Hey – where d'you go?"

"Er, I'm in my house. Where are you? I saw your car outside."

"I got here and then when you told me to follow you into the forest I did, but then you disappeared, I can't find you."

My heart stopped. _Lauren_.

"Eli – come back to my house, I'll try to find you. _Hurry_-"

"But it's dark. I can't even see where the hell I am."

"Eli I'll come for you, but just come back the way you came."

"But-"

Silence.

"Eli?" I waited a couple of seconds, "_ELI_?"

The phone went dead.

"We have to find him." I said to my parents.

"We'll go," said Edward, standing up. "You stay here."

"_No_." I objected. "Dad he's my _friend_."

"Renesmee, I've been close to losing you _way_ too many times these last couple of weeks. I am _not_ letting it happen again. _Stay here_."

I didn't say anything. Yet the whole room stood still in silence.

Then I made a snap decision before Edward could hear the whole of it. "Fine. Catch up with me, then."

Before anyone could stop me, I bolted out of the front door into the forest.

"RENESMEE!" I could hear my father yell behind me.

But I didn't listen, I just ran. I tried to pick up Eli's scent, as vague as it would seem to me. When I found a direction to head in it wasn't his scent that I could smell. It was the scent of blood. _Human_ blood.

"No!" I cried when the scent was so strong it _had_ to be in front of me. I collapsed to the ground and felt around. Besides the stones, bark, dirt and twigs, I finally felt a body.

"Eli?" my voice shook and I could feel my hands shaking as I touched the body. I tried to feel for a heartbeat.

The body made a noise and I could tell by the voice that it was Eli.

The blood was so_ strong_, so _fresh_.

"Renesmee-" I heard Edward behind me. I felt tears fall down my cheeks.

"Dad? Will he be alright?" Edward helped me up and Emmett appeared to pick up Eli.

"We need to get him to Carlisle."

We met Bella along the way. She held my shaking hand as we walked back through the darkness with Emmett in front, carrying a dying Eli.

"Is he going to die?" I asked, trying to restrain some tears.

"We don't know. When we get him to the house, we'll be able to see the extent of the damage."

As we left the forest, my stomach dropped. Abi, Claire and the pack were here, just like Claire had said. And Jacob was there, just _he_ said. Considering the pack was here to apologise for accusing me of hurting Jacob when I didn't'. Following a potentially dead Eli, covered in his blood _wasn't_ doing me any favours.

Carlisle was the first to notice us appear from the trees. He was at the front door to meet us in a fraction of a second. I couldn't see Eli from behind Emmett, but as the others inside recognised the body he was carrying; horrified faces became a common look in the living room.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" asked Emmett as he walked through the doorway.

"It's hard to tell right now – take him through." Carlisle pointed in the direction of his office and Emmett continued.

"Eli?" Abi quickly joined Emmett's side as she followed him to Carlisle's office. I heard her voice repeat his name, more desperately each time.

"Edward-"said Carlisle. "Could you come and help. Bella – please try and calm Abi."

Edward nodded and left with Carlisle, whilst Bella lingered for a moment and turned to face me. She stepped forward and cupped my face in her hands.

"Are you alright?" she said as tears threatened at the brim of my eyes.

"Is he gonna die?" I asked, my voice shaking. She was silent for a moment before she let out a sigh.

"I honestly don't know. Carlisle will do absolutely everything he can – you _know_ that. But I'd hate to say the outcome." She kissed my forehead as Jacob joined us. "Stay here. Don't leave this house. I want you to stay _right_ here – understand?"

I nodded and she left me to go to Abi.

The tears still threatened, but as I looked at Jacob, I gave in and the tears poured. He pulled me in and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I could tell that if I wasn't such an emotional wreck, he would've given me a lecture on going into the forest at night. But I could lose one of my best friends tonight, so he held it back.

We stood like that for a long while and no one said anything, until Abi returned, _without_ my mother. She was panting, her cheeks were blotchy and her eyes were red with tears.

"_What did you do_?" she said, her voice low and quiet.

"_Me_?"

"Oh don't play dumb Renesmee!" she snapped. "I let Jacey slip because frankly, I couldn't be happier than to see her in a coffin, but _Eli_. _Eli_ is too far Renesmee, _too_ far!"

"Abi what are you-?"

"I find it kinda funny how considering Emmett carried Eli all the way home, he doesn't have _nearly_ as much blood on him as you do."

"What exactly are you implying, Abi?" I left Jacob and started to walk towards her. "Are you implying that _I_ did that to Eli?"

"You did it to Jacey!"

"Jacey was diff- _what_?"

Abi didn't reply. She just stared at me like she'd just punched me in the face and that's exactly how I stared at her. I froze. "_Abi_, we've been friends for nearly a year. And even after all these months you _still_ think I did it. You told me on that night in October that you were joking about thinking I killed Jacey, but you _weren't_, were you? You were serious."

"Renesmee I've seen what you're capable of. It wouldn't surprise me if you killed Jacey. But I don't actually care. What I care about is _Eli_!-"

"Abi-" Claire's voice appeared in the room as she came to my side. "Renesmee was with me. She wasn't here."

"Claire – remind me where any of this is your business?"

"Hey-" Quil started but I finished.

"Don't talk to her like that."

"You two have been best friends since you were little. You're like _sisters_. You would do anything for each other. So her standing up for you is a lot less believable, she would stand up for you in any given situation. Perhaps even murder."

"No, if I knew that Renesmee was a murderer, then I would say that she's a murderer. But I know damn well that she isn't."

Abi shot Claire a look that made my muscles shudder. Then she came towards me, faster than I expected. When she was just inches away I expected her to attack me or something. But she didn't. She just stood there – eyeing me.

"I didn't do it Abi."

"It wouldn't surprise me Renesmee. You managed to smash a car window and break someone's nose with no trouble-"

"I _didn't_ do it!"

"If you didn't then who did!"

"A vampire!"

Silence.

Abi's anger levels dropped from her face, and her stance loosened.

"Good god, the girl's delusional too." She rolled her eyes at me and began to walk away. "You spend _too_ much time with Eli. What next- psychotic murderous fairies?"

"I'm _not_ delusional." I snarled through clenched teeth.

"Of course you are-" I turned around and ran in front of her at the fastest speed I could manage in that space.

"Abi – I didn't want you to find out this way. I wanted you have you and Eli over one day to tell you both at the same time. But Eli had to ruin it by researching before hand and _you_ have to ruin by being stubborn and refusing to let me explain-"

"Then _explain_. I'm all ears now." She looked slightly terrified and slightly irritated.

"Fine." I growled, I tried to normalise my voice before continuing. "Eli was meant to come over tonight. So before it got dark, I left Claire's house to come home. Eli got here before me and saw me in the forest so he followed. But I was _actually_ in my car on my way home. Once he was in the forest he lost me, so he called me just as I walked through the front door. He told about how he had seen me in the forest and followed me, but now he couldn't find me. It was when he told me that he'd seen _me_ in the forest, bearing in mind I had been in my car, and when the phone when dead – that I started to panic and went out to find him. I could smell his blood and so I followed the scent until it was so strong that it was practically a puddle in front of me. Because it was so dark, I felt around until I touched him. Hence the covered in blood."

"Two things – how could you smell his _blood_ and how the hell could he see you in the forest if you weren't actually there. Are you accusing him of taking drugs?"

"No I'm not. Vampire is all I have to say-"

"I don't believe you-"

"Damn it Abi!" I snapped walking away from her. "_How_ can the penny not have dropped? _Think_ about it – the baseball, the window, the smelling blood, the vomiting blood, and the 'not coming to school when it's sunny'? – isn't any of this starting to make sense?"

She didn't speak. She just stared at me and the empty space around me. No one said anything to her. But after she'd been quiet for quite some time, Embry went over to try and reason with her. But she didn't respond.

I could tell by the slight vacancy in her eyes that she was trying to comprehend everything I had just told her. There was a battle in her mind between what was right and wrong, truth and a lie, real and unreal.

The anger we both had died away. We could both lose a close friend tonight and we were grieving by fighting, screaming and throwing accusations at one another. I had ended up telling Abi the biggest thing about me in the worst way possible. I slowly walked towards her, trying not to startle her.

It was like she some kind of crazy robot that finally had a battery shortage and was going into power saving mode. By not doing _anything_.

"A-Abi?" I said, quietly.

Finally, something clicked. She looked at me.

"You're a v-vampir-" but she collapsed before she could get the whole sentence out. Luckily, Embry had got her before she hit the floor.

"I think _someone's_ a little faint hearted." said Claire from behind.

"No." I said, "I think _someone's_ just tired with grief and emotions. It was all too much for her." I caught Embry's eye as he laid her body on the nearest couch. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose it with her. I just don't like people-"

"Accusing you of hurting someone when you didn't?" he finished. I nodded.

"Speaking of accusations-" Quil stepped forward. "We're sorry for blaming you for what happened to Jacob last night. And we're also sorry that because of our behaviour and … _intentions_ you couldn't come to see Jake, when he needed you the most."

Various 'sorry's floated around the room.

"And _I'm_ sorry." said a female voice. I had been so preoccupied with Abi that I hadn't noticed Leah standing quietly in the corner by the stairs. Everyone looked at her; clearly her apology was something she had kept to herself.

"_You're_ sorry?" said Embry, shocked.

"Don't act so surprised." She snapped as she stepped forward. Then her gaze fell back on me.

She sighed, "Don't make me regret this, Cullen." She stepped forward.

"I'm sorry," She repeated,"-for being a bitch to you. And for cutting you leg, and for telling you about Jake and your mom and for hating you for no real good reason."

I studied her. Was this for real?

I guessed so.

I lightly smiled at her. "And I'm sorry too. For punching you in the face and for hating you for no real good reason too."

"Christ-" said Claire. "Cutting legs open, punching each other in the face – _so_ much _violence_."

Leah smiled, "We were made to take each other's crap. You wouldn't last five minutes Claire."

"I second that." I said.

"I third that." Said Quil.

"I-" Seth started.

"Okay, I get it. I'm human therefore I'm only good at being human."

"I dunno-" said Quil. "You're good at a lot of things." When the suggestive grin appeared on his face I looked away and desperately wished I didn't know what he was suggesting.

"Ew-" I muttered.

"Don't complain. Their thoughts are _much_ worse. I get it from Quil about Claire, Embry about Abi _and_ Jake about you – so, that's mild stuff compared to their minds."

Claire and I looked at each other and shuddered.

"Don't _any_ of you try to control your thoughts?" asked Claire, pretty disgusted.

"Jake does." Embry insisted, and then he grinned. "But only when Edward's around."

I shook my head and went over to Jacob.

"Well _that_ I'm grateful for." I smiled, resting my head on his arm. "If what Leah said about your thoughts are true then I'd hate to think how Edward would react to hearing them."

"Trust me, Renesmee." Edward appeared from Carlisle's office with Bella at his side. "I heard Jacob's thoughts two nights ago whilst he was with you. I fail to see how they could _get_ much worse." Then he smirked. "And that goes for _you_ too."

My cheeks turned a burning red as everyone began to laugh and snigger.

"How's Eli?" I asked immediately, trying to change the subject.

"He'll be fine, and considering what he found out last night – I'm sure he'll understand."

"He might understand but that doesn't mean he'll be accepting."

"Maybe not, but I'm sure you can help him make up an excuse for his injuries."

I would cross that bridge when it came to it, but for now I was relieved and I couldn't wait for Abi to regain consciousness so I could tell her that he would be fine. But nonetheless, Lauren was getting closer and people I loved were starting to get hurt and put in danger. Maybe it was time for everyone to abandon ship, except from me. I needed to confront her again, but I needed to be prepared for any attack she may throw so that I could get back up again, and again, and again.

I needed to know why she was here and what she wanted. But most of all – I needed to know why she couldn't kill _me_.

**Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think - review! And i'll update soon :) x**


	19. The Hunt, The Letter, The Decision

**Okay, here's the latest addition to Full moon! :) things start to get interesting after here ...**

**THE HUNT, THE LETTER, THE DECISION**

"ELI?" I STOOD OVER THE METAL TABLE AS HIS EYES BEGAN TO FLICKER. "ELI, CAN YOU

Hear me?"

He groaned but his voice was hoarse and dry. I gently placed my hand to his cheek and stroked his face with my thumb. He had very nearly died tonight, and because of _me_. If only there was a way I could go back and have him not know the truth. If only I had told him there was no such thing as vampires and he wouldn't have had a reason to be here tonight.

Standing here with him made me feel like I was cooing a baby. I tried my hardest not to look at his bruised and stitched up skin. It was undeniable – he was lucky, _damn_ lucky. To be honest, I wasn't sure if even _I_ would have pulled through on something like this. His eyes fluttered open and a sigh of relief passed my lips.

"Oh thank god." I smiled.

"Hi." He croaked.

"Hey, how're you feeling?"

"Been better-"he paused then he gently looked down at his body. "What _happened_ to me?"

"You were attacked, by another vampire-"

"But I saw you-"

"It _wasn't_ actually me, Eli – you _need_ to understand that."

"Then who was it?"

"There was something I didn't get to tell you last night." I paused. "But I think you should heal a bit before I load you with more information – okay?"

"Alright." He laid his head on the bed again and looked up at the ceiling. "Renesmee?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I _die_ tonight?"

I shook my head. "No. _Nearly_, but no."

Not long after, he slipped away into sleep again. I was going to need to call his parents. It didn't look like Eli would make it home tonight. I left him to sleep and returned to the living room, Abi had woken whilst I'd been with Eli, but she seemed deep in a conversation with everyone else to remember Eli.

They were explaining things to her. Vampire things. Things that _I_ wanted to tell her myself – I just didn't get the chance. Embry had his arm around her, trying to support her in case she was to collapse again.

"…so, Renesmee isn't _completely_ vampire? Only half?"

"Yes. "said Carlisle. "She was born to a human mother and a vampire father, getting half human, half vampire genetics."

I lingered in the door way and listened to their conversation.

"But she seems so vampire – what part of her is _actually_ human?"

"There's more than what you think. Firstly, she isn't as strong as us or as fast. Every vampire ability she's inherited isn't as powerful as a normal vampire. However, her strength has depended on her diet."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that through a diet of blood, her vampire abilities are enhanced to their full potential – but still not as strong as a vampire's. Because Renesmee drinks blood and only blood, she can run fast, she's strong, her reaction to the sun is stronger-"

"Okay, so what about her is _human_?"

"Her digestive system could easily adjust to a diet of normal food over time. She sleeps, she can cry, she has a strong and healthy heart, so she isn't pale or cold. As far as we know, although her aging is frozen, her insides still function normally. So, unlike vampires she can potentially pro-create too."

I walked round the doorway into the living room. Carlisle looked up from Abi to me.

"Is he still stable?" he asked me. Abi turned round.

"He woke up briefly, we had a nice chat and then he went to sleep again."

Carlisle thought for a moment, then he walked towards me. "I think I should contact his parents; it's getting late – I'm sure they'll be wondering where he is-"

"Wait-" I grabbed his arm as he passed me. "What're you gonna tell them?"

"Car accident. He was driving too quickly down the roads and hit a deer-"

"But a deer could've _killed_ him."

He looked at me for a long moment. "Lauren nearly _did_ kill him." He said. Carlisle lingered for a second before I handed him my cell phone.

"Their number's on there."

"Thank you." And he headed back to his office.

I watched him walk away before I turned to face the others. Since I'd been gone, the rest of my family had united in the living room. I suppose it was important for them all to be there when telling someone about our secret. Abi stood up, leaving Embry on the couch. We stood a distance apart, watching each other. She stood there playing with her hands for a moment whilst I stood nonchalantly, watching her.

"How is he?" she asked, quietly.

"I think he's okay." I said, "He woke up for a minute and started to ask about what happened – I tried to explain as gently as I could, but it wasn't long until he was out like a light again."

She scoffed, "Typical Eli."

Silence.

Then she came forward with a gesture my arms were already prepared for. Abi hugged me, tightly.

"I'm sorry." She said, "Everything I said before, I didn't mean it I was just stupid, angry and I felt like _needed_ to blame something."

"I know; it's okay."

"Your grandfather explained everything to me. I didn't realize how rough you'd really had it recently."

"Yeah – I've had better days. But its okay, I understand-"

"And I'm sorry for passing out on you too – I know that what you were trying to tell me was really big and my passing out couldn't've been the most reassuring thing I could've done."

"I guess not – but you shouldn't have found out that way. I should've sat down with you and told you normally. Like when I told Eli-"

"_Eli_ knows?"

I nodded. "He only found out yesterday, that's why he came over here in the first place – to find out more."

"Why did you tell _him_ first?"

"It wasn't intentional – but he came to me with facts. He _already_ knew Abi, he just wanted confirmation. I regret telling him the truth."

"Wait-" she gave me a thoughtful look, "Didn't he take you to the movies to see a _vampire_ movie last night?"

"Well…_yeah_."

She began to smile, "He's such a little asshole. I guess he was trying to hint something to you before he pounced on you – huh?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, and I don't really care. At least you both know now – even though it wasn't the best way for you to find out, I'm just glad you know – I was starting to run out of excuses."

Abi grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the couch where she rejoined Embry and made me sit on the other side.

"So- do you have an evil twin or something?" she asked, "Is _that_ why Eli thought he saw _you_?"

I grinned and some others started to laugh.

"_What_?"

I shook my head, "It's nothing. And I _don't_ have a twin, I can assure you. Okay – here's something that I never got to tell Eli." I took a deep breath. "_Some_ vampires have _gifts_, _abilities, powers_ – call it what you will-"

"Can you make a double of yourself?"

"_No_. But there's a vampire who's been lurking who can shift into the form of any vampire – that includes hybrids. We don't actually know what she wants, but we're _working_ on it.

"So she morphed into _you_-?"

"She hates me, basically. We think she's the same one who killed Jacey, she's the same one who hurt Jacob last night and she's also the reason why I nearly lost an arm two nights ago."

She titled her head, "Medication my ass." It took me a few seconds to realise what she was referring to.

"Like I said – I was running out of excuses."

"Of course," she was quiet for a moment, "Do any of you have powers?"

"Yes. This is what I didn't get a chance to tell Eli." I paused, "Alice – she has visions of the future. Jasper – he can manipulate emotions. My mom – can create shields. My dad – try not to get freaked out by this, but he can read minds-"

"_What_?" she looked at Edward, "So you can read my thoughts, _right_ now?"

"_Hear_ them, and I can if I choose to or if they're persistent."

She looked back at me. "That must be the worst thing in the world."

"Sometimes. But most the time I think it's worse for my dad."

"I can understand that-"

"And I have a gift too."

"_You_? What can you do? Can you move things with your mind or control the elements or something?"

"Er- no." I held out my hand, "Give me your hand."

"Why?"

"Just give it to me – _please_."

She studied me for a moment. Gently, she gave me her hand.

I showed her a memory that I knew she wasn't a part of, but something that was small.

I thought back to a few months ago…

…"_Renesmee! Are you crazy! Why did you do that?"_

"_Because I was angry-"_

"_I don't care, control yourself. It's not the fact that you damaged another person or their property, it's how. Effortlessly. Unscratched. These all raise suspicion! I mean, look at Abi-"_

"_She thinks it's awesome!"_

"_She would. But if she knew the truth. If she knew the truth she would run five miles to get away from you. And another stupid thing you did that you add to your list – you still brought her with you. You were recovering from the strong smell of human blood and you trap yourself in a car with a human. You can't do that Renesmee, what if you couldn't control yourself? What if you had killed her?"_

"_But I did control myself, Claire and I didn't harm her. Besides, I think you seriously underestimate my blood management."_

"_One day I worry I'll overestimate it."…_

"What the-" Abi stared at her hand, then at me. "How did you-?"

"It's a gift."

Pause.

"That was _amazing_!" she squeaked, "Do it again!"

"Another time, maybe. I think you need to chill. Go to bed and get some sleep or something." I insisted as Embry helped her off the couch.

"You okay?" he asked her. She nodded excitedly.

"Wow – what a crazy day. This morning you were weird but human _now_ you're weird and weird_er_." She grinned at me.

"Thanks," I smiled. "That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a long while."

"You're welcome." But then she turned serious and turned to me. "What's going to happen with Eli?"

"I-" but Edward spoke for me.

"We'll keep him here over night and as long as nothing drastic happens tonight – we'll take him home tomorrow morning."

"Okay." She headed for the front door and I followed her, "_Please_ come in tomorrow." She whined as Embry opened the door. "Eli won't be in tomorrow, _that's_ for sure – but don't leave me on my own."

I smiled and threw an arm round her. "I'll be there, don't worry. Just go home and get some rest."

"Okay."

An hour later, everyone except Jacob and an unconscious Eli were gone. I'd sat with Eli for a half hour before finally calling it a night and heading to bed – taking Jacob with me.

"I just need to make sure you don't go patrolling behind my back." I insisted as I shut my bedroom door behind us. As I turned, Jacob ran his hands up and down my arms.

"I couldn't go even if I wanted to." He grinned, and then he kissed me. My back pressed against my door whilst his chest pushed against mine. I slid my arms round his next to bring him closer. When he finally pulled away he said,

"And you can quit pretending that banning me from patrolling was the _only_ reason you wanted me up here." And he returned his lips to mine. As I smiled through the kisses, he slid his hands down to the backs of my thighs and I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist at the same time. Now he was pinning me to the door. I squeezed my legs around him tighter and he took me over to my bed.

"Does it still hurt?" I asked, lightly feeling the bandages on his stomach. Unfortunately, tonight wasn't going to be as magical as two nights ago, even though we'd stripped every content of material on our bodies, except from the bandages Jacob still had to wear. We laid next each other on my bed with my head on his arm and my fingers gently tracing the bandages.

"Na." he said and kissed my head. "They only hurt at first _and_ when Doc was stitching it, but I was fine when I woke up this morning. I'm surprised he hasn't told me I can take it off."

"He probably hasn't told you that you can take it off because you _can't_ take it off."

"I'll be fine – I always am."

"Don't speak to soon." I told him. I stopped playing with the material and looked up at him.

"What are you _implying_, Cullen?" he asked, looking down at me.

I scoffed, "Nothing! Just don't speak too soon." I then rested my head on his chest as I stared out at the forest.

"Lauren is still out there somewhere. I don't know what she wants, but she wants something. And when something that she doesn't give a damn about gets in her way, she won't hesitate to destroy it. She's focused on something and she's waiting. I don't know what for – but she's waiting for something and she'll linger in those trees until she gets it."

I knew _that_ much.

* * *

><p><em><strong>One week later…<strong>_

"Ness, come on – we're not gonna find her." Clearly, _I'd_ spoken too soon. Since Eli's attack, Lauren had been quiet. In fact, she hadn't been spotted since. When Jacob's bandages _were_ taken off, the pack was back on track to finding her. But after two nights of patrolling, and no activity – I decided to cut in. Although Jacob strongly disagreed with it, I opted to help and practically serve myself up as bait. Tonight had been the third night I'd been out with the pack and there was still no sign of her.

I sighed, exasperatedly, "This is the _third_ night – where is she?"

"I can still smell her, she _must_ be here somewhere." Leah joined us, still looking around sharply.

"Her scents gone outer state-"Quil announced, "But it's strong in this area."

"Alright, we've been at this for hours and Ness has school tomorrow so we'll call it a night. But it's not clear. We're not safe yet."Jacob insisted. One by one the others returned and they scheduled another search in a couple of nights. They thought that if _their_ activity died down then Lauren's would come back up.

I spent the majority of the next day in 'the lights are on but no one's home' mode. My classes seemed to pass in a hazy blur and all I could think about at lunch was different techniques to lure Lauren into a trap. Abi and Eli were arguing over something and I only drifted in and out of their conversation on the odd occasion. After listening for longer than a twenty second period I gathered they were arguing over colleges – I had no desire to go to college, so I didn't participate much in the conversation.

"…I'm _telling_ you – I can't remember where I heard it but some colleges _are_ doing it. Maybe less people are applying so they're getting desperate."

"I hardly doubt places like _that_ would get desperate. One of the top universities in the _world,_ Eli – they have thousands of applicants."

"Maybe they don't have that many international-"

"Eli – I _don't_ think they're reputation will fall if they don't have that may international applicants."

Eli sighed, "Look, _all_ I'm saying is…"

I drowned it out again. Why did she drop out? Had doing something to Eli made something click in that psychotic brain of hers? – it _is_ possible, but still unlikely.

But last night, her presence had never felt stronger. It creped me out. How could someone who's not there – _be_ there?

I guess seeing wasn't always believing.

"What were you two arguing about at lunch?" I asked Abi as we stood at her locker.

"Oh," she sighed, "Nothing important - just Eli going on about how some top colleges are picking people… never mind, just usual Eli crap. But anyway, Embry told me about Lauren - still no luck then, huh?"

I shook my head. "No. It's bugging me Abi, it's _really_ bugging me."

"I can tell," she said, "You've been on autopilot all day. But hey- don't let it bug you. I mean, isn't this a _good_ thing? – I thought we were meant to fear her an' all."

"_Never_ show weakness to your enemies, Abi. If I can give you any advice, it'd be that. Don't give them the satisfaction they want but showing signs of fear or weakness, it only makes them stronger."

We left her locker for the parking lot. "Deep." She muttered.

"I made that mistake when I confronted her on the night of the bonfire."

"How come?"

"Because-" I paused, "because – she threatened to hurt Jacob. _That_ was when I showed my weakness – and look where it got us both. I nearly lost an arm and Jacob got his stomach ripped open."

"Yikes. Okay – no fear. Got it."

Even during that walk from the corridor to the parking lot I'd lost myself in thought. It wasn't until Abi said, "Hi Jacob!" that I came round.

"Hey." He smiled. I smiled back and slowed down at his side.

"Oh, just so you know, your girlfriend's been on autopilot all day – try and take her mind off things, will ya?"

He looked at me for a second then looked back at Abi.

"Will do. See ya Abi."

"Have a nice night! Bye Renesmee!"

"Bye!"

Abi drove away, leaving me alone with Jacob.

"Are you tired, thoughtful or both?" he asked.

I grinned, "Mainly thoughtful." I said, heading for the driver's door.

"I see. Do you want me to drive to save you from thinking us into crashing?" he asked.

I thought for a second, then nodded.

"Jeez-" said Jacob when we were nearly at my house, "Abi wasn't kidding about autopilot, was she? – you've barely said two words the whole way home."

"I'm sorry Jake, I'm just-"

"Confused, frustrated, angry, desperate, longing?"

"In a nutshell." I smiled. "But I'll stop, I promise."

He reached a hand over and held mine, "Don't worry – everything will turn out _fine_."

When we walked through the front door, we found my parents with my aunts and uncles – but this gathering seemed more deliberate as oppose to coincidence.

"Hey- what's going on?" I asked as Jacob shut the door behind me. I first glanced at my parents who looked at me with a hint of a smile on their faces.

"There's a letter for you." said Bella looking at a table near the door – it had an envelope on it. I instinctively looked at Alice who was also trying to hide a smile. What were they _up_ to?

This had Emmett written all over it. When I caught Emmett's eye, he was smiling, but not his usual devious grin. Maybe Emmett _wasn't_ in on it.

I watched them as I cautiously walked over to the envelope. On the front it read 'Miss R C Cullen' I looked in the top corner of the envelope to find a stamp. The words almost made me drop the envelope.

'University of Cambridge'.

"_Cambridge_?" I gasped. I looked at my parents and their smiles grew. I looked at Jacob – he didn't really know _how_ to react. There was no more delay then. I ripped open the envelope and put its remains on the table as I unfolded that the letter that read:

_Dear Miss Cullen,_

_As you are approaching the end of your schooling years, we can only assume that you are applying for different colleges and/or universities. However, Forks High School has brought our attention to you. After examining samples of your impressive works, we are sure that you would be an asset to this university._

_You are now challenged with making the very important decision of selecting which college or university you are going to attend. We know that this can often be an extremely difficult decision._

_We, at University of Cambridge, recognise the importance of your decision and the commitment it entails to learn and develop by means of association with an outstanding centre of learning._

_The University of Cambridge offers not only a superb educational experience, but also promotes individual growth and development. Seventy-six percent of our faculty hold PhD's or law degrees and we offer our students over thirty courses._

_We encourage you to visit our campus for an induction month. This will take place from Friday 6th April to Wednesday 5th May. This opportunity is only available to those students who are attending from outside of the United Kingdom. During this month, you will be given the opportunity to choose two courses you wish to study. It will also give you an insight on university life, and will help you grow and develop new skills. This opportunity will help you to determine whether or not you are committed enough to attend our university in the fall. I hope you will carefully evaluate the information in this letter, and seriously consider our university._

_My very best wishes to you, and I sincerely hope that you will be joining us here at the University of Cambridge in the fall._

_Congratulations on your acceptance to the University of Cambridge._

_Yours Faithfully,_

_Jonathan Hart_

_Dean of Cambridge University_

Wow. I didn't really know what to say. Except from _one_ little thing…

"Friday the sixth?" I exclaimed "That's the day after tomorrow, this letter's really late".

"We know, if I knew the letter was going to come _this _late then I would have told you myself" Alice insisted. I looked up from the letter and turned round to stare at Alice.

"You knew?" I asked, she nodded. I guess I couldn't say that it surprised me. I looked over at Edward and Bella, they both smiled at me proudly. I still couldn't believe it. _Cambridge_. As in England, Cambridge.

"Congrats brainiac" said Emmett as he and Rosalie strolled in through the front door.

"Thanks" I muttered as I looked down at the letter again.

"I guess I had better pack?" Alice skipped over to me with a beaming smile on her face.

"Don't worry, I did it for you" she said happily.

I smiled at her, "Thanks."

I glanced down at the letter and skimmed over it again. Jacob rushed past me, wordlessly. I watched him out the corner of my eye as he walked over to the other side of the room. He was about to sit down but I caught his eye as he did. I walked over to him and sat next to him.

"I haven't heard a word from you since we walked in" I insisted. Jacob's head rolled to the side slightly as he laid eyes on the letter I continued to hold in my hand. At first he didn't answer to my comment, I began to think that he may have been reading the letter. He then sighed deeply.

"Wow. Cambridge. That's…. that's great. Congratulations" he said in a very unenthusiastic voice.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" I sighed.

"Nothing" he said blankly. I looked up and saw everyone watching us. I wasn't going to get him to spill anything and tell me what was _really_ on his mind with everyone watching. I stared at him for a little longer, to see if he would say anymore. Not another word passed his lips. I placed the letter on the arm of the couch and grabbed Jacob's hand.

"Come with me" I insisted, standing up and pulling him up with me. Luckily Jacob wasn't being as awkward as I thought he might be. I dragged him towards, and up the stairs. I felt like a mother pulling her five year old son to school.

I opened my bedroom door and pulled Jacob in with me. Once we were both in, I went to shut the door.

"Ok, now tell what you're _really _thinking" I insisted. Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Ness, do you think I _want_ you to go to Cambridge?" I wondered if that was a rhetorical question or not.

"Jacob, why _not_? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, you know that."

"Yeah but, I just don't like the idea of you being away. Away where I can't protect you" he insisted. I let out a frustrated sigh.

"You didn't seem to mind fifteen years ago" I mumbled. It killed me to say it, but he was _making_ me play that card.

"No, Renesmee no, don't even go there, okay?"

"No Jacob, I _am_ going there" I insisted "At least you _know_ where I'm going to be, at least you _know_ that I'm going to come back. At least you _know_ that I'm safe-"

"No I _won't_ know if you're safe. I don't want you to go, no one will be there with you, no one can protect you except from yourself-" he interrupted me.

"So what? You're basically saying that you don't think I can protect myself. You think I'm weak? You think that I'm just another human?" I demanded "Well then Jacob Black have I got some news for you or what? I'm only half a human Jacob, the other half is vampire. I am still far stronger than the average human. I _can _protect myself". Jacob still wasn't convinced.

"If anything ever happened to you, I wouldn't-"

"Jacob, _nothing_ will happen to me. If anything going to Cambridge will protect me. Lauren won't think to look for me in _England_. She'll probably give up and go back to the Volturi, if she hasn't already." I insisted.

"Ness, I can't let you go" he said. I really wanted to go to Cambridge, but of course, I didn't want to leave Jacob. It would kill me to be away from him for so long. I couldn't live without him. I would have to think of a solution, something that Jacob would agree with and let me go.

"Come with me" I suggested. Jacob stared at me for some time, slightly shocked and slightly confused.

"What?"

"To Cambridge. Come with me to Cambridge. That way, I can still go to university and you can protect me to your heart's content" Jacob's facial expression still looked serious and unsure.

"I can't."

"Why not?" I asked.

"I need to stay here and keep _this_ place protected" he insisted. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Jacob, there are plenty of wolves here to keep the place protected. They'll be able to cope without you for a month." Jacob didn't reply, he _knew_ that I had technically won this fight. I watched him thoughtfully, trying to understand what was going on in his mind.

"So, you think that I should just turn my back on it. Turn my back on Cambridge to stay here with you?" I asked, beginning to raise my voice "Jacob, do you not realise the importance of this. Cambridge is one of the best universities in the world. And not just that, but Cambridge came to _me_. They're _offering_ me a place-"

"Look, if you wanna go to a good university, then go to Harvard or something. _That's_ in Cambridge and its closer" he insisted. This was getting ridiculous.

"Jacob how the hell is _that_ closer? It's on the other side of the damn country! That's like a five day drive! Harvard is all the way over in Massachusetts, you know, in the Rhode Island, Boston, New York kind of area – we are in Forks_, Washington_."

Jacob didn't answer me; he looked down at the ground and put one hand in his pocket. I didn't say another word as I tried to cool my temper.

"Jacob" I sighed softly, slowly walking closer to him. "We're _not_ going to be together forever, you _must_ understand that. There will be times when I have to go places without you. There _has_ been and _will_ be times when you need to leave without me" I paused for a few seconds, watching Jacob carefully. However his face still stared at the ground, I took in a deep breath and continued.

"So please, don't make me leave with you being angry. I want to leave with you being happy for me and supporting me." There was a long silence before Jacob reacted in anyway. He lifted his head up and looked at me, my face lit up slightly.

"Hope you enjoy Cambridge" he said blankly. Jacob immediately turned round and walked swiftly out of my room.

"Jacob?" I called "Jacob wait!" I ran over to my bedroom door, as I did, I heard the front door slam shut. I held onto the bedroom door, I knew it was too late.

My eye filled with tears, and it didn't take long for the tears to sting my face as they streamed down it. My mind was fully of anger, disappointment and pointlessness. And my heart, well, it felt rather broken.

I collapsed onto the floor, and curled up into a ball. As I tried to keep the pieces of my broken heart sealed inside.

The surface I was lying on was far too comfy to be my floor. I could feel comfy warmth embrace my body.

"Jacob?" I whispered. I opened my eyes slightly to see complete darkness. I looked around me to find Jacob, it was then I found the source of the heat. My bed sheets. My heart sank in disappointment.

How did I get into bed?

I swear I had fallen asleep on the floor, over near my door. I didn't want to stay in bed. I uncurled my body from its ball and kicked the sheets off my body. As I slowly sat up, I dropped my legs off the edge of the bed so that they dangled over the edge and my feet settled on the floor. I looked over at my alarm clock, it was twelve thirty. I didn't feel like sleeping anymore, I wanted to make the most of my time in my room. I was going to be leaving for university _today_, the thought was scary.

No. _Terrifying_.

I shook the thought away from my mind and pushed my body off the bed. I walked over to my window. Black trees were visible and bright sparkling stars. The sky was a very dark blue, almost black.

My room was feeling very warm. Normally I wouldn't mind, but it was reminding me of Jacob too much. And right now, I couldn't cope with remembering the last time I saw him. I stepped over to one side and opened a section of my window. An icy breeze slipped its way through the small gap in my window. The air sliced through every piece of hair that laid on my shoulders.

"It's a cold night" said a voice. My head whipped round behind me where I had heard the voice. Jacob was walking towards me, a small smile on his face. I didn't show any emotion towards his presence. Instead, I turned my head to look out the window again.

Out the corner of my eye I saw Jacob closely join my side. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to talk to him or not. I _did _want to talk to him, as I always do. However, I _didn't_ want to talk to him because of the pain he had caused me earlier.

"Listen, earlier, you had your turn to talk. Can I have my turn now?" he asked, I didn't answer him, although Jacob took that as a 'yes'.

"Ness, you have no idea how pleased I am for you. Cambridge is a _huge_ thing. It's incredible, and like you said, it _is_ a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'm sorry for how I acted, earlier. I shouldn't have been like that with you, especially seeing as our time together was and still is limited" he insisted "I still don't want you to go. But I'm going to let you and support you". I tuned my head to look up at him.

"Really?" I asked, a large smile was forming on my face.

"Of course, but on one condition" he insisted, I waited to hear his request. "You call every day." I smiled at him.

"Of course I will."

"Good."

"Now, you'd better get some sleep. You've got an early flight tomorrow" he insisted. Jacob put his arm round me and led me back towards my bed. I walked round to sit in the same place I had originally laid in. I scooped my legs up from the floor and slid them under the sheets. I laid down as it covered my shoulders. Jacob stood over me. I rolled my head on my pillow until I was comfortable and staring up at Jacob.

"Y'know, it's my last night in this bed for a long time. I don't really want to sleep in it alone" I whined with a slightly seductive tone. Jacob smiled and rolled his eyes.

"How can I say 'no' to that?"

He walked round to the other side of the bed and laid down next to me. I scooted over closer to him and gently rested my head on his chest. I held onto his t-shirt as the heat from his body embraced mine and made me want to be closer to him.

"Are you nervous?" he whispered.

"About what?" I asked, staring out of the window.

"Going to this place?" he replied.

"No" I answered "But I'm nervous about leaving you". Jacob chuckled quietly.

"Why?"

"Because" I sighed "I don't like being away from you, it just doesn't feel right.".

Jacob sighed "Y'know, in life, there will be times when I have to go places without you. And there will be times when you need to leave without me. That's just something we'll have to get used to."

"Thief. You stole that perfectly good speech from me" I moaned, as I moaned, I let out a yawn "I think I might go back to sleep now." I insisted. Jacob bent his head down and kissed the top of my head.

"Night, I love you" he whispered. I smiled happily and hugged him tighter.

"I love you too" I whispered back.

**Hope you enjoyed it - let know what you think, review! And i'll update soon! :) x**


	20. Leonardo

**Okay, THIS IS A WARNING - mid way through this chapter, if you don't read it carefully there is a chance you'll become confused. There is also a chance you'll have to read through it a couple of times before you get an understanding of what is happening. I tried to make it as simple as i could without making everything a complete give away. **

**I hope you can understand it alright :) enjoy!**

**LEONARDO**

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ABOUT TO DO THIS." I SAID TO JACOB FROM THE PASSANGER SEAT OF the Mustang.

"Y'know – it's not too late to change your mind."

I shook my head, "I need to do this. I mean think about it – it's _completely_ beneficial. I get the opportunity of a lifetime, I gain independence, _you_ can look for Lauren without worrying about me-"

"I'm _always_ gonna worry about you."

I drove to Seattle International with Jacob whilst we followed my family in their cars. I'd been up since six, explaining things to Abi and then calling Claire and various other people. By now, I'd put an end to the calls and everyone else would just have to find out from other people. I was sort of dreading the idea of being in England alone _and_ the fact I would be without Jacob for a month. Of course, I'd been without Jacob for longer before, but things were different now. But I knew the one thought that would linger in my mind the second I stepped onto that plane – the moment I was in his arms again, a month later.

I said my 'goodbyes' outside the airport. I knew that if they followed me to the plane, it would be even harder to let them go. Each 'goodbye' was harder than the last, but not nearly as difficult as the next.

"We'll see you soon." said Esme as she pulled me into her arms. I would miss her hugs. They had a certain sort of warmth to them, like a grandmotherly kind of warmth.

"Show Cambridge what Renesmee Cullen can do." said Carlisle as he put an arm round my back.

"Bring it on." I smiled.

"That's my girl." Edward stepped forward. "Always rise to a challenge." He put and arm round me as Bella stood in front of me.

"I wouldn't be a true Cullen if I didn't."

Bella wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me.

"Whenever you want to come home, _whenever_ – just call and we'll be right here waiting for you." She insisted. "But we're still _so_ proud of you." She paused, "But _whenever_ you wanna come home-"

"You're just one call away, don't worry mom – I got it."

She kissed my forehead and smiled. "Have fun. Call everyday and don't talk to strangers unless they're people on campus."

"Sure, don't worry – I'll be fine. Besides, it's not as if I'm _permanently_ going to college – it's only for a month."

"C'mon Renesmee-"sighed Emmett, "Like it would take more than a month for you to do something stupid."

I rolled my eyes at him as I felt warm fingers slip through mine.

"Just try not to do anything stupid." Jacob whispered in my ear. I smiled as I turned to him.

"I'll try – but it's a virtually impossible task, y'know."

"I don't care." He said, leaning in to me. "just don't give me another reason to not let you go."

"Then why _are_ you letting me go?" I asked.

"Because you'd hate me if I didn't."

I tilted my head to the side before kissing him on the cheek.

"I could _never_ hate you, even if I wanted to."

He smiled, "Well, _that's_ reassuring."

I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest. "Be careful." I told him, "We don't know if Lauren's still out there, but she _might_ be. I don't want this to be the last time I ever see you – so just _be careful_."

"I always am." He kissed my head, "Don't worry."

Then, we shared a kiss that seemed to last forever. Of course, it was going to be our last kiss for a month, so it needed to last us for that time.

When we finally parted he whispered, "Be careful. Don't make me regret letting you go."

"I'll be fine. I'm just studying and doing stuff that students do-"

"God help us all." He grinned and then kissed me one final time.

"I have to go." I said pulling away.

"Okay."

I headed over to a cart that Edward had collected for me with the three suitcases Alice had insisted on making me take. Taking off the breaks I gave them one last wave before walking inside .

So this was it. I was about to leave home for the first time, to a country I'd never been to, with people I'd never met. This could prove to be interesting…

The plane finally started to lower through the clouds. It wasn't particularly sunny in England today. Maybe it would be a dull April – especially for me.

I'd had the blind shut the whole journey, to avoid any sunlight getting in. I think the guy next to me was pretty annoyed with me for shutting it – but hey, I had the window seat. My window, my rules. Although the clouds were dark over Heathrow airport, the sun was its brightest above the clouds.

My parents had booked me a 'cab', they told me before we left the house. When in fact, what they'd booked me was more of a limousine – thankfully, not a stretched one. It was interesting seeing my name on a whiteboard amongst many other surnames. Williams. Hart. Deans. Sheppard. Tillings. And right in the middle was 'Cullen'. I assumed that no one else had the surname Cullen and took the ride.

It was uncomfortably fancy. I felt like royalty sitting in here. But obviously, I think this kind of car driving out of the airport _wasn't_ out of the ordinary here.

It had taken a couple of hours to get to the Cambridge campus. The roads were loaded with bicycles and park and ride buses. But, besides the traffic, it was a very nice area. The roads were much narrower than what I was used to and everyone driving on the wrong side of the road was eventually killing me.

"Right, 'ere we are – Cambridge Uni. D'you want me to help wiv' your luggage, love?"

"Urm, No thanks, I'll be fine."

Once the driver had left, I immediately took back my decision to deal with this on my own. These suitcases seemed to have gained a few pounds _each_ since being put in the trunk. I only had two arms and using one of my legs as a third arm was _not_ an option.

So I did my first stupid thing since being here and made myself _look_ stupid. I tried to pull out my room card whilst staring at a map to figure out where the hell I was going. They'd put me in one of their newest accommodations – Richardson Hall. Sounds fancy – must be good.

Honestly, the map was the worst thing I could use. The building was easier to find without looking – it was the modernist one here.

I could see other people going in. It was clear they were international – a vast range of cultural backgrounds walked through those doors.

I followed them. As expected, none of them had as many suitcases as I did. Even better, thanks Alice.

I was in room 142 and by the looks of things, I was sharing. I hoped I shared with someone who spoke English – otherwise things would become difficult. I didn't know every language, but I was nearly fluent in some – until I stopped studying languages years ago. Now my memory is pretty vague.

I found my room down a quieter hallway, thankfully. Then, I unlocked the door and walked in. My roommate was clearly already here and unpacking but they weren't occupying their belongings. Their stuff was sprawled out all over one bed whilst the other was still set to perfection. My bed.

I wondered where they were before dragging two cases onto the bed and leaving the other on the floor – purely because I couldn't _fit_ anymore suitcases onto it. This would take a long time to unpack. I huffed and began to unzip the first suitcase.

Just then, a voice sounded from the door I'd walked past to get in (I guessed was the bathroom).

"Oh, hi!" said a girl's voice and she sounded… _American_?

I turned. "Hi-"

"I'm guessing you're my roommate. Either that or it's taking so long to find your room that you decided to stop by for the night?"

I let out a little laugh, "No. I'm your roommate – sorry."

"Na – that's cool." She walked back over to her stuff, "And, can I just say how glad I am that you speak English."

"Me too – well, I mean, I'm glad that _you_-"

"I get it." She laughed. "So, what's your name? I take it you're from the states – whereabouts?"

I managed to make some space on my bed for me to sit and face her. She had blonde hair, with some brown roots showing on top and underneath. She had average skin, not pale, not tanned. Somewhere in the middle.

"Er- my name's Renesmee and Washington, what about you?"

"M'name's Sammy and I'm from Florida."

"My Grandmother lives in Florida." I didn't know why I said that, it just slipped out.

"So does mine." She grinned. "Did you used to live there and move or something?"

"Nope." I said, "I've always lived in Washington."

"Whereabouts in Washington?"

"Forks."

She studied me for a moment. "Why does that sound familiar?" she thought for a long moment before it clicked. "Oh yeah – my neighbour has relatives there or _near_ there."

"What's their name?"

"Well, I speak to Renee mostly. Sometimes I talk to her husband."

"_Renee_? And her husband is Phil, right?"

"Yeah – how'd'you know?"

"Renee's my _grandmother_!"

"No way! – _seriously_?" she gasped, "Oh wow, small world. _Really_ small world."

"How is she? How are they I haven't seen them in _ages_."

"They're fine, they're fine. Renee was ill a while ago and whatever it was my mom soon caught it too. They were ill together – then Renee recovered and my mom's getting there."

"Is she okay now?"

"Renee's _fine_. I'll tell her when I get back that you're here-"

"She'll probably be on the phone to me straight away."

She smiled and turned back to her luggage, continuing unpacking. I did the same.

It took two hours to unpack _one_ suitcase. Alice was gonna get it in the neck when I got home. By the time I finished unpacking, I'd need to start packing it away again. Sammy and I talked about home life and just tried to know as much about each other as we could. She told me about her brother who had recently knocked up his girlfriend and now their parents were making them marry. She said how they explained it as taking responsibility – what they _actually_ meant was punishment. And she told me about her school life and about her family and her kitten that she couldn't bear to part with to come here. I told her about my home (as much as I could anyway) and about my family, school, my car, friends, Claire and of course, I told her _tonnes _about Jacob.

Eventually, we gave up unpacking for today and just sat on the floor, facing each other, talking.

"Y'know – if I didn't know any better, I would say that you're more than in love with this guy – you're _obsessed_ with him. Be careful – he might get a restraining order against you."

I grinned, "I'd like to see him try."

"Lemme guess, he's just as obsessed with you as you are him?"

I shrugged, "Just because I love him more than the average human loves anyone, it _doesn't_ mean I'm obsessed."

"I know – I'm just kidding with you. I think it's sweet. I'm _jealous_. I wish I loved someone that much and have the feelings returned – that's rare, _really_ rare. Treasure it."

"I do."

We were sent into the university's largest lecture theatre, where we were given a welcome talk and then had to decide what subject we wanted to do for our first couple of weeks. Sammy decided to do English Literature. Although it would have been nice to know _someone_, I decided to study Fine Art – which was basically Art, they just needed to elaborate on it to make it sound worthy of a degree. The lecture hall was full of students from all over the world. I could smell the spices and the exotic musk of them.

As I fought my way out of the crowd, I tripped. But something caught me mid-way.

"Careful." Said a deep voice, obviously male. As he helped me up, I looked at him. Wow. Just wow. His charming smile framed by a perfect jaw line was the first thing I noticed. His beautiful eyes were next; they were dark but still held a lot of depth. And his hair was a dirty blond, slightly rugged and ruthless, yet silky with a shine. Personally, I quite liked it.

"Oh, erm, sorry, I'm just…_really_ clumsy."

He smiled, "Aren't we all?"

He was _British_? – Maybe he was a teacher, or a student? But United Kingdom students weren't supposed to be here.

"I see you're British."

"Well, yes, and no." he said, Helping me straighten out. "My _mother_ was British, but my father is Italian."

I noticed the different tenses he put to them.

"But-" he continued, "I wasn't born in England, so I suppose that makes me _technically_ not British."

"But you talk like one."

"Yes, yes I do." He smiled. "And you are, undoubtedly, American."

"Ha! – _that_ obvious, huh?"

"Only a few hints here and there." He smiled. "I saw you sign up for Fine Art? – do you think you've got what it takes?"

"I hope so. I've never painted or drawn competitively before-"

"No – art should_ never_ be competitive. If my father's ramblings have taught me anything, it's _that_."

We ended up taking a couple of seats near the back where it was quieter and continued our conversation.

"So is your father an artist?"

"Unofficial." He said, "My father paints like there is no tomorrow – bit of a mad man, really."

"And what about your mother?"

"Ah, my mother." He sighed.

Silence.

"Oh, I'm so –god, I'm so sorry I didn't realise-"

"That's fine. That's fine. She passed away when I was six years old. So – it's been a while."

"What happened? – if you don't mind me asking."

"She was murdered. We don't know how or what by. But she was murdered, _that_ was for sure." he paused, "My father was devastated. He made several suicide attempts shortly after her death and his last one was when they couldn't find her murderer. I tried to support my father after that and eventually he managed to get back on his feet. But he loved her. Boy, did he. They're love never died – even after she did. Although her physical body was no longer with us – her soul still filled the house."

The noise of the others was nothing but whispers to me now. I didn't know what it was, but I wanted to know a lot about this. Although it was sad – it sounded interesting.

"How did they meet?" I asked, resting my elbow in the back of the chair.

"My mother had a passion for art and its history. She studied it, religiously during her college years, then she visited Italy to view the sites _and_ the work there. During which she met my father – who was an artist. Because my mother was so beautiful, he _insisted_ that he painted her and she let him. It was during those sessions that she fell in love with him. And then one thing led to another and she was pregnant with me by the time she should have left. Of course, she loved my father – so she wasn't reluctant to stay with him. I don't think my grandparents were too happy. In fact I think they were so furious that they didn't even come to the wedding."

"Wow, they're _nice_. What wonderful parents."

He smiled. "I'm sorry, I've just told _all_ this random stuff to a girl I've only just met. I suppose, seeing as we're doing Art – I thought it would be relevant. But what is your name?"

"My name's Renesmee-"

"Renesmee what?"

"Renesmee _Cullen_." I paused. "And you are?"

He smiled at my name- in a weird way. "Leonardo De Luca" he grinned. Then he took my hand and kissed it lightly. "It's a pleasure to meet you signora." He winked at me. My cheeks burned like a thousand suns. There was no doubt he extremely… _charming_. I _loved_ the history of his parents, it sounded so romantic – I _envied_ it in some ways. But then again, I could sometimes be an artistic simpleton – maybe that was why I loved a love story that included art.

I walked around the large, town-like campus with Leonardo and asked more questions about his parents and family.

"So, is the 'Leonardo' name a reference to the artist?" I asked as we sat down under a tree. It had started to rain but in the area we were in, we were a while away from shelter.

"You guessed it." He grinned, "Because we lived in Italy it was either Leonardo or Michelangelo – Michael for short. They were determined to have an artistic son. So after he'd finished grieving over my mother's death – my father eventually started to teach me how to draw, paint, etch – you name it, he taught it."

"That's nice. I taught myself to draw and eventually paint. Personally, I prefer just to draw. I like using the foundation tool to create a masterpiece."

"That's an interesting way of looking at it-"

"Renesmee!" Sammy's voice called through the rain. I looked over to find her running towards us with a bag held over her head as an umbrella. When she reached the shelter of the tree she collapsed to the ground.

"I wondered-"she was panting, "-where you-you were."

Leonardo chuckled. "I think your friend wants to spend some time with you. I shall see you tomorrow, Renesmee." He winked at me again and headed off. I watched as he walked away, then Sammy sat in the spot where he'd been sitting.

"Ooo – who's he?" she smirked, "He's _nice_ and I mean _nice_. And British!"

"His name's Leonardo and he's not British, he's Italian."

"Oo, _Italian_. Well, he can have _my_ pasta any time he wants." She grinned. What the hell was that supposed to mean? – I figured it must have been some sort of inside joke between her and…_herself_?

Or just some twisted food innuendo. I shook my head and looked away embarrassed, Sammy noticed it.

"Y'know, you _could_ have a secret British boyfriend – no one would know."

"_Sammy_!"

"What?"

"I am _not_ going to have a secret boyfriend-"

"Oh c'mon Renesmee, you're a _really_, _really_ attractive girl and so you're just going to settle with one guy for the rest of your life and let that be that. Jeez, if I had _your_ looks I would be getting dates from everyone. Live a little, Renesmee. You only live once."

"I appreciate that I am a _moderately_ attractive person. But I'm happy with Jacob, more than happy. People only date loads of people because they're waiting to find the one. Some get lucky and find them in the early stages or some are _really_ lucky and don't have to search at all."

She studied me for a few moments and then sighed. "_Seriously_? – is this guy the only guy you've ever dated?"

"Well…_yeah_. What's wrong with that?"

"Christ you're like a – _dating virgin_."

"A _what_?" I couldn't help but laugh. "A _dating virgin_. What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you know as much about dating as a two year old-"

"I do _not_." I retorted. "I'll have you know I know _a lot_ about it – actually."

"Maybe as much as a five year old then." She grinned. I looked at her and felt my lips break out into a smile. I pushed her over and stood up.

The next morning I managed to find my way to the art rooms. They were so big. I was put in the largest one, then again, I think that was the only one that could fit all the international art students in.

Unfortunately, I was late and definitely wasn't showing a good first impression. Leonardo caught my eye near the back and I headed to the empty seat next to him, keeping my head down. We eventually had to move the tables around so that each one of us could place an easel in front of us. As it was our first day, our teacher really just wanted to get to know us and get an understanding of what _we_ liked to draw and paint.

Just as I picked out a pencil my mouth opened and let out my biggest yawn in months.

"Wow, _someone's_ tired." Leonardo scoffed next to me. "Late night?"

"_Endless_." I admitted, "I was talking to people last night."

"What? –" he grinned, "Just any person who happened to walk by?"

I laughed, "No. On the phone. Family, friends, and boyfriend – you name it. Of course I spent a lot more time talking to the boyfriend. It got to the point where my roommate kicked me out until I was off the phone."

"I trust you weren't saying anything too grotesque to him, were you Renesmee?"

"No." I snapped, offended. "It wasn't _what_ I was saying that got me kicked out. I was _because_ I was saying at all."

"Right, that's understandable."

"But I suppose, if you didn't know already – you could tell who I was talking to and what kind of relationship I had with him."

"Well – if you weren't talking profoundly, then I'm guessing the type wouldn't be 'physical relationship'"

I shook my head, "No, I think it is a pretty physical relationship- oh god." Leonardo started to laugh. "-no, please. Forget I said that, _any_ of that."

"A little too much information." He snorted. "If you keep this up, I might just have to move away from you Renesmee Cullen."

"No, don't go. I _like_ you."

Pause.

My cheeks flushed.

Pause.

"In that case, I won't leave you."

After class, we lingered out the front of the building for a while. I was leant against the wall, whilst Leonardo kept trying to spin in circles on the tip of his toe. We laughed every time he failed and he only insisted on doing it again. But one time, his mistake was different. This time, the _last_ time, he fell on me.

I was standing silently, pinned to the wall, sandwiched between it and him.

I tried to laugh it off, hoping he would too, but he didn't.

He was beginning to get uncomfortably close. I could feel his breath against my face as he leant his elbow on the wall and rested my head on it. His eyes were strange. I hadn't noticed it before. They were, _beautiful_. So rich, so endless. His skin – flawless and pale, again, something I hadn't noticed before. I had been too intrigued by _him_ to fully observe his physical appearance. But my eyes were fully locked with his. His eyes never left mine as I looked deeper and deeper into them.

His eyes were amazing. They were opposites in one - soft and sharp, light and dark, dangerous and safe, mean and alluring, appalling and seductive. How was it possible for someone to own eyes as extraordinary as his? – I couldn't remember meeting anyone with eyes like his.

In fact, I couldn't remember meeting anyone at all.

Not much anyway. My mind felt blank, yet I knew exactly where I was, I knew my name, I knew who was standing in front of me and I saw him now in a completely different light.

It was like I had been blind. He was so beautiful. Why was this suddenly new to me?

"Renesmee?" he held my face with his hand. He felt cold, really cold. "Sweetheart, are you feeling alright?"

I thought I had lost my voice. I could feel the words; I just couldn't get them out.

"I-I-er- what happened?"

"You just dozed off, nothing to worry about. It's a perfectly natural thing to do." He paused, "Are you alright?"

"I feel- I feel, _empty_."

"Maybe it's time for you to eat then."

My head shot up. "No." I snapped. "I don't want to eat-"Leonardo put his finger to my lips.

"I didn't mean, eat. I meant _feed_."

I wasn't sure what made me refuse to eat; I knew that I drank blood only – I just didn't know _why_ I only drank blood. But there was just some strange gut feeling that told me not to even consider eating human food.

Leonardo put his arm round me and led me away from the wall.

"Come with me, Leo will make it better. I promise." – His words were oddly comforting. I didn't know what made me do it, but I actually moved in closer to his side. I _wanted_ to be near him.

By the wall I had felt nothing but panic and confused. However, by the time we had reached Leonardo's bedroom that feeling had subsided. He wasn't sharing a room. He was one of those lucky few who were placed in a room that had an en-suite and everything.

"Come and sit down." He said, leading me over to his bed. I perched myself on the edge and he stood back from me, studying me for a few moments.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm just thinking." He said, "I think that lesson might have been too much for you. It _was_ rather warm in there, I must say."

"Leonardo-"

"Babe, y'know you _can_ call me 'Leo'. It's less of a mouthful."

"Fine." I took a breath. "_Leo_-"

"Yes?" he grinned.

"This will probably sound like a really odd question to ask, but, how did I get here?"

"By plane is my guess. Either that or you swan the Atlantic, but it wouldn't surprise me even if you did. You always do surprise me. Never a dull day with you."

I looked at the floor with frantic anxiety in my eyes. What was wrong with me? – Why was everything so weird? So _unfamiliar_ all of a sudden?

"Leo- I'm scared." I breathed. He immediately sat down next to me and put an arm round me.

"Shh- it's alright, it's alright. I'm here." He cradled me. "You don't need to be scared. You're probably just going through a phase, sweetheart, that's all."

"Okay," I sniffed, "Here's another odd question coming your way. You keep calling me '_sweetheart_' and '_babe_' – are we-?"

"Dating?" he finished, I nodded. "Yes, we are. We have been for the past five years. I'm surprised you don't remember that. These have been the best years of my life – even if a lot of it _was_ long distance."

"What happened?" I asked, resting my head on his shoulder.

He sighed and then laughed. "Are you _sure_ you can't remember or is this just a petty excuse to hear the same old love story again?"

I looked at him. "I _genuinely_ can't remember. I'm not making it up."

"Alright. Well, five years ago, your parents took you on holiday to Italy for a few weeks. You were staying in the country, near to where I live. Now – I don't know much about your relationship with your parents, but what I _do_ know is that you didn't get on with them very well and still don't. In fact, I think it got worse after you left Italy." He paused. "You'd only been in Italy a couple of days where an argument broke out between you and your parents. You were so furious that you ran away from them. I found you coiled up in one of my father's orchids one night and brought you in. And it was pretty much love at first sight I suppose. You were fascinated in my drawings and showed me that you had a pretty good hand too. I tried to convince you to at least tell your parents that you were safe, but you wouldn't. You insisted that they wouldn't even care you were gone. Of course, I didn't want to force you into anything you didn't want to do, so I obeyed and never pushed the subject again. But – after two weeks, your parents found you and they took you back to America. I hadn't seen you since, but we kept in touch, of course. And then, fate brought us back together, here in England. And they all lived happily ever after." He kissed my head with his cold lips and I smiled lightly.

"-until it's time for me to return home."

"Shh- we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, let's get your strength up." He left me on the bed and went into the bathroom. In a second he was out again, carrying something red and shiny in his hand. He had a microwave that he put it into.

A minute later, the microwave pinged and Leo opened its door. He came over to me, carrying a large mug. I held it in my hands and immediately felt the warmth and I could smell the sweet iron that drifted from its core.

Blood. A smell, I could never forget.

I crossed my legs tightly and gulped down the entire mug.

"Wow, _someone's_ thirsty." He said, taking the empty mug from my hands, "Would you like some more?"

I shook my head. "No thank you. That was enough for me."

"I think _that_ was enough for five vampires. _Christ_."

"Leo – how is it you know what I am?"

He put the mug on top of the microwave and walked back to me. "We've been dating for five years, Renesmee. How could I do that and only know half of who you are?"

"So it doesn't freak you out having a vampire girlfriend?"

"Why should it?" he asked. "To be honest, you seem perfectly normal to me."

"_Perfectly normal_?" I scoffed, "How many '_perfectly normal_' people do you see gulp down an entire mug of blood?"

He laughed. "Alright, not many. But still- your _diet_ _habits_ don't faze me in the slightest. So don't worry about that."

As he sat next to me again, he held my face a brought it to his. He kissed me. His kiss was strong and controlled, yet somehow alluring. At first I was hesitant, but it soon changed and I felt myself bend to his will. Giving myself over to him and letting him do what he wanted.

**...confused?**

**Let me know if you are. If i get a lot of complaints then i'll redo the second half of the chapter. But if you are confused then please tell me what bit specifically doesn't make sense (that way it's easier for me to see what went wrong) **

**Anyway, Sorry this took so long - things have been busy! I'll pick up the momentum, I've already started writing the next chapter - so it should be ready soon :)**

**Thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed it (if you weren't confused) and i'll update soon! :)**

**P.S. please review, I was more worried about this chapter than any other - I wanna make sure i got it right :) so please review! x x**


	21. The Phone Calls

**I'm not trying to say i'm psychic or anything - but as predicted, a lot of you got confused. (sorry about that) I meant to say at the end of the last chapter that everything WILL be explained during the story, later. I'm not leaving you to guess everything that happened and never have a character question it - as you'll find, Renesmee questions it A LOT in this chapter. I hope this chapter makes more sense, it should do...**

**Enjoy! :)**

**THE PHONE CALLS**

OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS, I NOTICED THINGS CHANGE – A LOT. EVERY WEEKEND, I went out into London with Leo and Sammy. Sammy and I would often have different opinions when it came to clothes, so we went separate ways then. Leo would obviously stay with me when I was without Sammy.

On the second weekend, I went to a hair salon and dyed my hair. It came out darker than what I expected, almost black with a tinge of red in it. Nonetheless, I loved it and couldn't understand why it had taken me until now to change my hair color. Leo insisted that it looked sexy and also that my contrast in skin made me look like Snow White.

Through Leo's influence, I started to change the way I dressed. He said how he thought that what I used to wear was dull and didn't match me at all, so I aimed for a new fashion. In a nutshell, he vamped me up. To be honest, all that was missing was a giant tattoo on my forehead saying 'I am a vampire'. But I wasn't the only one to change – Leo did too. His outfits started to share a similarity with mine. They too were dark, he often wore a leather jacket and it was just… dark and _sexy_.

Sammy started to keep a distance from me after a while. I couldn't understand why – I hadn't turned mean, had I? Well, _Sammy_ thought I had.

"Hi-" Said Sammy as I threw my bag onto my bed when I entered our room.

"Hey." I said, bleakly. Heading to the bathroom.

"Urm, Renesmee, can I talk to you for a sec?"

I sighed, "Sure, just make it quick. I've got-"

"Leo, I get it. Listen, Renesmee-" she paused. "I think you should stay away from him. I don't think he's doing you any good."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, _look_ at you. When I first met you, you had gorgeous natural hair – now he's made you dye it as black as death. And your clothes tell the same story. Are you starting to worship the devil or something?"

"No!" I snapped. "Jeez, Sammy. Nothing is wrong with me-"

"Yes there _is_. He's turned you bad-"

"No he hasn't. Don't be stupid-"

"Then why the hell haven't you answered your cell for the past two weeks?"

"What are you-"

"Your _cell phone_, Renesmee. It's been constantly ringing, eventually I checked who was actually calling you. You have eight missed calls from 'Abi'. Thirteen missed calls from 'Claire'. Twenty _nine_ missed calls from 'Home' and Thirty six from-" the phone started to vibrate in her hand. We both stared at it for a moment, then she looked at me. "Thirty _seven_ from Jacob." Then she held the buzzing phone out to me.

I stared at the phone for a long while, letting the picture-less caller ID shine in my face. I don't know why I did it, but I _answered_ it.

I held to phone to my ear and waited.

"Ness – you there?" said the voice on the end. "Hey, can you hear me?"

His voice was vaguely familiar. There was something about it that made my heart warm up. I didn't speak, I just let him talk – hoping I would soon recognise him.

"Ness, if you're there,_ please_ say something." He begged. I debated about answering, but I was embarrassed that he knew me and I didn't know him. So I hung up. Sammy's arms fell to her side.

"W-why did you do that?" she asked, bewildered.

"Because I don't know who he is."

"'_Don't know who he is'_? – You mean the guy you were obsessed with? Completely head over heels in love with? – _That_ guy?"

I stared at her blankly.

Silence.

She stepped forward.

"Okay, you are _not_ to see him anymore. Do you understand me? – he's bad news and I don't want him inflicting anymore of that on you."

"Don't talk to me like that!" I snapped. "If I wanted a mother's opinion, I would've asked for it."

I stormed away from her and left the room. As I journeyed through the crowds to Leo's room, I found myself thinking about that phone call. Who _was_ that on the other end? I tried to make him sound familiar, but it never worked. It only brought up more questions than necessary.

I knocked on his door with fury still bubbling inside me. When he answered, my anger was the first thing he noticed.

"Woah, babe, what happened?" he asked, I stormed past him into the room.

"It's just Sammy, pissing me off." I said, wiping away a tear. Leo came over to me then put his arms around me from behind and kissed my head.

"Do you wanna stay in here tonight?" he asked, resting his cheek on my head. "So you can cool down?" I nodded as I turned around and rested my head on his chest.

I could feel the tears threaten in my eyes, but I tried to conceal them. Leo looked down at me and stroked my cheek – making the tears fall.

"Renesmee, calm down. It's only Sammy, sweetheart – what's the worst she could have said to you?" – But the truth was, I wasn't crying over what Sammy had said. I was crying over the guy on the phone. He genuinely wanted to talk to me and I didn't even have the courage to say anything. I just tortured him for a while and then killed him when I suddenly hung up. I started to cry more. Leo held me closer.

"I should call him back." I sniffed, pulling away. As I turned to leave, Leo grabbed my arm.

"Call _who_ back?" he asked, his eyes stern.

"The guy who called me. He-I-he, he called me, but I didn't know who he was. So I-"

"What did you say to him Renesmee?" he barked. "_What_ did you say?"

I felt the tears stiffen my face as I stared at him, trying to understand what his problem was.

"He was trying to get me to talk to him. I didn't say anything. I hung up."

"Good girl." He turned away, but my words made him freeze.

"But-"

"But?" he looked at me again. "But –_what_?"

"But his voice sounded familiar. I don't know – I sort of recognised it and, well, it made me _happy_ to hear it at first."

"_Renesmee_-"he let go off me to walk away, letting out an exasperated sigh as he did. He ran his fingers through his hair and began to pace. What was wrong with _him_?

"Okay, well, you can stay here and do whatever you need to do. I'll be back in a minute – after I call him back-"

"No!" He was at my side again in a second. "Look, just forget about it. It was probably the wrong number – maybe he got you confused with someone else?"

"But- he had caller ID-"

"Doesn't _everyone_ nowadays?" he tried to smile, but it didn't come as effortlessly as it usually did. Then he put an arm round me. "C'mon, if it was important, I'm sure he'll call back."

"He's called me thirty seven times." I told him.

"Christ." He muttered. "Just let it go, sweetheart. Let it pass. If it's harassing you, we'll get you a new phone? A _really_ nice one."

I didn't like the patronising tone in his voice, but he held my face in his hands.

"Don't worry about it. Alright?" then he kissed my nose.

I put on a smile. Obviously he wasn't going to be able to reassure me the way I wanted. Instead, he was trying to reassure me _his_ way, either that or he was just trying to take my mind away from it. I guessed the latter because he kissed me again, but this time his lips pressed to mine. Again, and again, and again.

After a continuous hazy blur, I felt my back lie on his bed with him still kissing me. His kisses moved from my mouth to my jaw, to my neck, to my collar bone, back to my neck again. My mind was focused on all sorts of things, surprisingly; I wasn't paying too much attention to Leo. I was too busy trying to reassure myself that everything would turn out alright and that I was over thinking all this phone call stuff _way_ too much.

It wasn't until my legs turned cold when he whipped off my jeans that I paid him attention.

"Leo-"I started to push him off. At first he wouldn't budge, but eventually my force had more strength to it.

"Leo, _stop_." He finally got off me and I sat up with him. He was staring to look into my eyes but I dared look at him. I didn't know what was wrong with me. But then again, I hadn't known what was wrong for quite some time now.

"What's wrong?" he asked, reaching for my chin and making me face him. I looked into his eyes and immediately regretted it. I shook his hand away and picked my jeans off the floor.

"Wait, Renesmee- what's wrong? Why won't you-?"

"It's not you, Leo. It's me. It's _always_ me. I just… it just… it just doesn't feel right. I don't know, I just _can't_."

"I don't understand you-"

"I know. I don't understand me either, but that's how I feel, I don't know I just-"

He waved my words away with his hand.

"It's fine, I'm sure you'll come to your senses soon." And I hoped he was right. I wanted this weird guilt to go away. It wasn't a new feeling. I'd felt it for a couple of weeks now, but I didn't know what was going on with me. My mind seemed to be distant from me; it was somehow detached from my body.

Although I'd spent an hour debating about it, I decided to still stay with Leo that night. Sammy wouldn't be worried; she was used to me not sharing her room every night and after our fight earlier. I doubted she'd welcome my company.

I'd fell asleep not long after I told him I would go to sleep. He'd stayed by my side for as long as I could recall. But I woke three hours later.

According to his alarm clock, it had just gone two in the morning. But now, he was nowhere to be seen. All the lights were off, so all I looked into was darkness. Until, I gained back my hearing. I could hear Leo's voice, coming from inside the bathroom. The door was shut. He was talking to someone – I think he was on the phone. After a few sentences and a few cut off sentences, he would pause for a long while.

"Yes-"

"Yes I _know_."

"Don't worry, I'm nearly done."

"I don't know – what did he say?"

"Right. Okay."

There was a long pause.

"Tomorrow." The muffled sound of his voice was somehow soothing. I felt myself drifting back into sleep. The last thing I heard was "I love you." And I fell back to sleep with a smile on my face.

This was, undoubtedly, the oddest dream I'd ever had. I was sat in a room, a living room with white couches. But I was on the floor, with a book in my hands. It didn't look like a particularly difficult read. But I was small – maybe a child of some age.

I wasn't sure what happened after that, but I looked at the door and people came in. But these people were blurred. I couldn't see faces, they were more like colored shadows. Whoever these people were, they were dark skinned. Suddenly I felt happy. I didn't know why – maybe I knew them? I _did_ know them. The one in front spoke to me.

"Hey kiddo, where's your mommy and daddy?"

Then more people came in, still shadow like figures, except they were very pale. They were talking. But I couldn't tell what they were staying, their voices were muffled. It was like they were talking with sponges in their mouths. But something I _could_ make out was the sudden change in atmosphere. Suddenly, everything felt dark and depressing and… almost… not worth living?

Whatever the shadow who spoke to me wanted my parents for – it was definitely to tell them some bad news.

Then the shadows faded and the lights flickered out – turning it night dark. I got up to find my book gone. Then, something pushed me towards the front door. But it wouldn't open. I was trapped in this house – maybe I was trapped in myself. I pressed my small hands to the window and looked across the road into a mass of forest. Only the first few trees were visible, everything else was devoured in darkness.

I now felt no happiness. I just felt empty, alone, sad and there was a lump forming in my throat. The moonlight was giving me a dim reflection – I was saying something. I couldn't feel my mouth moving, but my reflection was talking, shouting, _screaming_…

I woke with a start. Dripping in sweat, panicking like mad and as confused as hell.

"Renesmee-"Leo was holding my shoulders and stroking my face, "Hey – sweetheart, it's alright, it's alright." He cradled me, even though, deep down I didn't _want_ to be cradled. I wasn't sure what I wanted – maybe to be alone- To collect my unassembled thoughts?

For a long while I was shaking in his arms. The dream technically wasn't that scary – but why did it scare the hell out of me?

It was like an unobvious nightmare. There was something more attached to it – I just didn't know what.

Eventually, I woke up again, this time from a dreamless sleep and found Leo watching me from the other side of the room. I flinched.

"Jesus- you scared me."

He grinned. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

I looked around and finally noticed the sun rays from underneath the curtains.

"Uh oh – it's sunny." I said, sitting up.

"Don't worry, just pretend you're ill. I am."

I looked at him for a moment. Was he _seriously_ ditching class just because I couldn't make it? – That was… sweet. And stupid.

I stared at my hands for a while, thankful that I no longer had sweat dripping down my collar bone.

"Who were you talking to last night?" I asked. His face grew stern but almost blank.

"My father." he said. "He isn't doing well without me so-"

"So, you're going home?" my heart sank. I looked away from him as I felt the tears fill my eyes.

"Yes, I think it's for the best. But-"he lifted my chin so my eyes met his. "I want you to come with me."

"_What_?" I gasped, "Leo, I can't just-"

"Why not?"he asked. "Which would you rather Renesmee? – stay here with a friend you only fight with, then to return home where your family don't give a damn about you. Or – come with me, to Italy, to live with me and my father where we can be together and you won't have to worry about your parents or any of them. It'll just be us. Forever."

Admittedly, his argument _was_ reasonable. Why should I go back to a place where I'm hated – when I could go to somewhere I would be loved?

It was a no-brainer. But I couldn't bring myself to just take off and not say anything to Sammy. I would have to slip her a note or something.

I looked at Leo again, and smiled.

He smiled at me, "You've got an hour. Then we're heading for the airport."

"An _hour_ – you mean we're leaving now?"

"No." he grinned, "We're leaving in an _hour_. So you'd better get your stuff ready. Oh – and try to pack light will you?"

"Okay, I'll be right back!" I went for the door but he pulled me back. I turned to see him smiling at me.

"I love you." He grinned and bent down to kiss me.

"I love you too!" I giggled, then kissed him lightly and left.

By the time I reached my room, Sammy was gone which I was surprisingly grateful for. I did what Leo said and packed light – well, I packed a bag with the first thing my hands touched. That excluded my cell phone. But it was something my eyes fell on. I dared look to see how many more missed calls I had. Had that guy tried to phone me again? Had _Sammy_ answered any calls?

Reluctantly, I unlocked the phone to find that he _had _called six times since when I picked up. Something in my brain twitched and I pressed the call button next to his ID.

_Shit_!

No! Stop!

That's what my head was saying, but my body was doing something different. I lifted the phone to my ear a listened to it ring.

My heart was pounding so hard I could almost hear it above the ringing. The line crackled.

"Renesmee?" came his voice, desperately, urgently. "Are you there?"

I took a breath. "Hi." I said, regretting it straight away.

"Thank god – you scared me. Why haven't you answered any calls? Your parents have been freaking out, especially Bella. In fact, everyone's been worried about you. We were thinking of coming over there to check on you-"

"No." I snapped. "Don't come. Stay."

"What-?"

I didn't say anything and there was a long pause.

Pause.

Heart pounding starting to hurt.

Pause.

"Ness- Are you _alright_?" he asked.

I hesitated. "Yes, I'm fine. How are you?"

Pause.

"I'm fine."

Pause.

"Are you _sure_ you're alright – do you wanna come home?"

"No. I don't. Home is the last place-" I could hear footsteps nearing my door and knew straight away it was Leo. "-I have to go."

"But you just got on-"

"No, I _really_ have to go."

"Wait-" but I hung up and slammed the phone onto the table, stepping away from it. Just as I turned, Leo walked in.

"What's the hold up?" he asked, shutting the door.

"Nothing." I insisted. I could already feel tears threatening in my eyes because of the guilt. Just as I slung the back pack onto my shoulder – the phone started to ring again. I looked at it and could see that same old caller ID flashing. Leo looked at the phone and slowly walked over to it.

He picked it up and showed me the screen.

"_This_ guy-"he said. "Is he the one who keeps calling you?"

Gently, I nodded. He studied the screen for a while and then, he did what I dreaded, he answered it.

I reached forward. "N-!"

But he held a finger to his lips and I silenced. I watched him with shaking legs.

He didn't answer, he just listened – same as what I did. Eventually, he spoke.

"I'm sorry, Renesmee isn't available at the moment – can I take a message?"

Pause.

"Can I take a message or did you just call to chat?"

Pause.

"I'll just tell her that you called to chat – but don't be surprised if she doesn't call back-"

He stopped and again, there was a long pause.

"Alright, listen – it appears your calls have become somewhat of a nuisance. You're making Renesmee feel uncomfortable and I don't like it when people make my little Renesmee feel uncomfortable. So, if you know what's good for you – you won't call this number again. Goodbye." He hung up and my mouth hung open.

I couldn't believe he had just done that and what made it worse was that he even tried to patronise me as well. I was about to leave the room before him, when the phone started to vibrate again in his hands. This time, he looked at it for a brief moment – then he crushed the phone, effortlessly. I watched as the phone squealed and sparked in his hands and eventually crumbled onto the floor.

"We'll get you a new phone – come on." This time, he dragged me with him.

As we marched down the hallway – Leo tossed me a black hooded sweater.

"Put this on." He ordered, "And keep the hood up until I say otherwise."

The first half of the plane journey had been silent. I sat beside Leo, trying to sleep, trying to get his actions out of my head. But it was difficult. I still couldn't believe he'd killed my cell phone. But by the second half of the journey, I had cooled down a bit and was able to think of Leo as something else besides a pain in my ass.

"Are you _sure_ I can't get you anything?" the stewardess asked Leo for the _fifth_ time. The sun was even brighter above the clouds, so I couldn't lift the cover from the window and watch the clouds. I wished I could, and then I would be able to take my mind elsewhere and not be forced to listen to the irritating blond stewardess, who was persistent in trying to lavish Leo with goods that he clearly didn't want. This then proved my point on how Leo could have _any_ girl in the world. It also brought me back to the question, why did he choose _me_?

The annoying stewardess asked one final time before I shot her a poisonous glare, she surprisingly noticed my look and backed off.

"Renesmee" Leo gasped sarcastically "You little green eyed monster". I giggled as I sunk back into my chair. I rested my arm and hand on the arm rest between Leo and I. Leo rested his hand on mine.

I stared at his hand for some time, thoughtfully.

"Leo, can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Sure" he replied "What?"

"Where in Italy do you live?" Leo hesitated for a couple of seconds, before finally replying.

"Lajatico, why?" he asked.

"Just curious."

A shiny, black Bugatti screeched to a halt in front of me. The tinted window rolled down on my side and Leo leant across, looking up at me.

"C'mon, get in!" he hurried me through the open passenger window. Everyone outside, turned their heads and stared at me. I lifted my hood over my head again as I ran from the shade over to the car, escaping the gawping eyes of fellow plane passengers.

"You have a thing for Bugattis don't you?" I laughed, remembering that we had actually driven to the airport in a Bugatti he had rented from some upper class car company. As I quickly slid into the car and slammed the door, Leo accelerated up the road, trying hard to get away from the airport. I looked over to him worryingly.

"Why are you driving so fast?… Did you steal this car?" I asked.

"No" he snorted "This is _my_ car, and I like to drive my car fast. What's wrong with that?" he asked.

"Nothing until you crash it and kill us" I insisted. Leo began to laugh quietly.

"Renesmee, I've been driving like this for quite some time. I think I know what I'm doing, don't you worry" he insisted.

I looked around the car's interior. All the windows were tinted, they all hinted suspicion. The seats were black leather and rather comfy.

We neared the edge of the suburbs zone of Pisa. The country lanes were flourishing on either side of the car. The roads were emptying and eventually became deserted. This meant that Leo was able to drive faster, if it were even possible. The road remained relinquished, but it also straightened. I watched various trees as they approached the car at a slightly slower pace. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Leo trying to remove his sweater without crashing us into a ditch. I was about to offer my help when he finally got it off. And then, something happen that made my gut burst. He… he… _sparkled_? I couldn't believe it.

"You-you're a vampire" I breathed "Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded. Leo smiled insidiously.

"Oh please, if I had told you, then you wouldn't have agreed to come with me" he insisted "Or _would_ you?" he question to himself.

I stared at him, it finally added up. Wow I was stupid, it made perfect sense, smashed up my phone effortlessly, his perfect pale skin, he didn't sleep, he didn't leave on a sunny day.

I was so, so ,so stupid!

I may as well have looked at a cat and called it a fish.

"Why wouldn't I have agreed to come with you?"

"You're a clever girl Renesmee, I'll give you that. You would have figured it out"

"Figured out _what_?" I asked.

"Renesmee, stop with the questions now, okay?... let's have some sitting in silence time now" he insisted.

"But-"

"Shh.." Leo hushed me and he reached one hand across and pressed one icy finger gently against my lips. I flinched away from his finger and the back of my head was almost absorbed into the headrest. I stared at the road ahead, even though I hardly admired the beauty of the nature around me. My mind could only focus on Leo and his immortality.

Leo's lips broke into a smile, his speed increased as we neared a sign in the distance. I could read that it said ten 'miglia' to something. I expected to see 'Lajatico'. But as we neared it, it said something different.

_10 MIGLIA - VOLTERRA_

**... are you getting where this is going now? - i'm not going to explain everything. But i'm hoping that after reading this, some things in the previous chapter will start to make sense. Anyway, let me know how you find THIS chapter :) review! and i'll update again soon x**

**P.S Miglia means 'miles' in Italian btw - just in case you didn't know... ;)**


	22. New Family

**Okay, I hope that from now on - each chapter will answer a few questions from chapter 19. Like i've said before - if you're still confused, let me know. but if you are, can you make it so that you have an account and that you've enabled you PM settings - because otherwise i can't PM you and explain things :/**

**Anyway - enjoy! :)**

**NEW FAMILY**

THE ROAD BEGAN TO CLIMB UP AND WIND ROUND A HILL. THE ROADS WERE SO CURVY that Leo would be unable to drive at an insane speed up the road. I was feeling slightly afraid to speak to him, even though I still had loads of questions biting the end of my tongue. However, I was finally becoming less afraid of his driving as he slowly curved around corners. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Leo lean forward on the steering wheel and gaze upwards, slightly to his right.

"Welcome home" he said smoothly, returning his body to his seat. I moved forward slightly and looked up to where he had. Only a huge stone wall that bordered the city was visible. I had to admit, it was still beautiful, and yet it was so terrifying.

The Bugatti finally reached it's last curve as it pulled up outside the city gates. Two guards stood outside, one on either side of the gate. The guard on the left walked casually over to the car, holding his hands behind his back. As the man approached, Leo forced his gloves back onto his hands quickly.

"Put your hood back up" he ordered me, I obeyed him and returned the black hood to my head. Leo rolled the tinted window down an inch, so the guard could only just see into the car.

"We'd like to get into the city please" said Leo, rolling his head on his headrest to face the guard.

"That'll be fine, but your car can't go all the way, there is parking area available for it, just in city wall" the man told him, pointing at the gate. Leo nodded once.

"That's fine" then Leo turned his head to me "That's fine, isn't it honey?". At first I hesitated, then I finally nodded. Leo smiled at me as he turned his head back to the guard. I could just see the guard's cheekbones rise into a smile.

"She is very pretty young lady" he grinned and backed away from the car. Leo rolled the window back up again. We waited whilst the guard joined the other guard and opened the gate. Once the gates were open enough Leo drove through them. The guards nodded goodbye to us as we drove through the gates into Volterra.

The roads were made from grey bricks and stones embedded into the road. They were also very narrow, all one way. Terraced houses ran along on either side of the small roads. However, a few alleyways were visible between houses. Each house was beige or a dirty light pink colour. All the windows of the houses had shutters outside the windows. A few had balconies with flower pots running along the railing. Locals that we passed stared at the car with wide eyes. Some children in the distance even nudged their friends and pointed at the car approaching. Near the children, I saw a small group of girls, they looked roughly sixteen and seventeen, there may have been an eighteen year old in there somewhere. They crowded together and stared at the car, same as everyone else. Except these girls were giggling and hunched their shoulders up as if they were embarrassed. One of the girls – who looked the oldest stepped in front of her friends so she was visible, she waved at the car sheepishly. As we passed them, Leo raised one hand to symbolise a wave. I watched them as we drove past; they continued to go starry-eyed over the car.

"Do you _know_ them?" I asked.

"No, but they know me" he replied, flashing me a charming smile.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Don't worry, you don't need to know" he insisted. I watched as we went further, more women were staring at us, more women were giggling and waving. I glared at them as we went past them. Leo only waved to a few. It was beginning to bug me a bit, even though I was slightly scared of him, he was still _my_ Leo.

The buildings around us became more made of sandy coloured stones and bricks as we neared the center of the city. Roads were becoming more restricted as no cars were allowed in the main square of the clock tower. Patches of sun were no longer visible on the roads as the buildings stretched higher the closer we got to the city center. Leo slowed down as he began to approach what looked like a dead end, before he reached the end an officer unsurely stepped in front of the car, holding his hands out for us to stop. The car came to a screeching halt. Once the car had stopped, the officer walked round the Leo's window. The officer knocked on the window a couple of times with one finger. Leo rolled the window down, again, only an inch. The officer peered into the car through the crack.

I awaited this conversation, but when Leo started talking Italian, I knew I had no hope of knowing. My languages were pretty rusty.

Leo smiled as he rolled the window back up.

"What was that about?" I asked. Leo reversed backwards slightly and then turned into the parking lot.

"We'll park here for the time being" he insisted.

"_Time being_?" I questioned him.

"Don't worry, _I'll_ come back later and park the car later. It's hard to get there during day time, the damn police are everywhere. You can't do anything. It's ironic how this city is supposed to be so safe, and the police are the ones who get all the credit. They don't do anything, they just stand everywhere and get on your nerves" he growled.

Leo finally found a spot that was shielded by the sunlight in the shade from a towering building. It was right next to a long tunnelled alleyway, bits of sunlight were visible where there were various arches that led onto the streets. I unplugged my seatbelt and was about to open my door when Leo grabbed my arm suddenly.

"Put your glasses on and pull your hood forward a bit more. We're gonna have to be quick when in the sun, and we don't want your hood falling down do we, love?" he said, the last part sounding sarcastic. I picked up my sunglasses from my lap and slid them on. Leo stepped out of the car and I mirrored him. Leo waited for me to walk round to him, as I joined his side he wrapped one arm around my waist and began to pull me towards the alleyway. As we walked he lifted the car keys over his head and locked the car as it beeped twice.

We hurried through the tunnel, streaks of sunlight hit us like passing cars on the highway. I kept my face shielded from the sunlight by looking down. However, I eventually lifted my head slightly to see the light at the end approaching.

"Come on, we're nearly there" Leo hurried me more. Stepping out of the tunnel was like stepping into another world. The warm air hit my face as soon as we were out of the tunnel, I grabbed hold of my hood tightly, trying to stop it from falling off my head. I looked around and saw various people wandering about the square, some buying at a couple of the market stools that stood on the far end, others were merely children, playing around in the centre. As I looked away from the children, I looked around the buildings. It didn't seem as if there were any life within the buildings, they looked like a long defined wall, bordering the square.

"There it is" said Leo proudly. He pointed his finger to a building that was practically opposite us. I followed his finger.

"Palazzo dei Priori" he sighed "Or, more commonly known as the clock tower. That's our entrance". There was defiantly a stomach turning intuition about this place. I wasn't quite sure what it was, however, I couldn't escape the feeling that this was a very bad place to be. Had I been here before? Had I heard of this place before? Had I been told a story of this place?

"Your father lives _here_?"

"I guess you could say that," he chuckled quietly. What was _that_ supposed to mean?

Leo grabbed my hand and pulled me into the plaza. I held my hood tightly as we walked briskly through. Looking around, I saw a few younger girls staring at us. Leo seemed to be some sort of icon in this place. Everyone seemed to know him, or the girls did anyway. The girls' cheeks rose as their smiles grew widely. I stared at them curiously as we walked past. As we passed, my eyes laid upon another girl. She seemed very pretty. Tall, slim, long dark hair, she wore a long white flowing dress that's bottom soared in the wind. She leaned against the wall of the clock tower, looking down, playing with her fingers. I saw her head turn slightly as she looked up a little and hinted Leo a cheeky smile. I wasn't sure if he could see her or not. I forced myself to ignore her and face the back of Leo. He led me up a few concrete stairs to come face to face with the tall wooden doors that stood beneath the clock. Leo opened the doors subtly and we sneaked inside.

There was a strong contrast between the air outside and the air inside. Outside the air had been warm and slightly damp, full of ciaos and excitement. In here, the air was cool and calm. The place was so silent, it was as if we had stepped into a completely different location. As if the hustle outside never actually existed. The only sound I could hear was the gentle taps of our footsteps that slowed at Leo released me to shut the door. Only one other sound was heard too, the sound of my breathing. It was so odd, my breathing sounded hoarse and anxious, yet relaxed and excited. I tried as hard as I could to silence my breathing. It was fine for me to listen to, but I was sure Leo had better things to hear. Leo shut the door gently and grabbed my hand once again, pulling me down the alley. Once we reached the end, the corridor slit into to two, one going left, the other going right. Leo slowed down and looked down either way. It was as if he couldn't decide which root to take. His eyes slowly focused on the left side. They narrowed.

"Let's take the shortcut" he insisted. I couldn't say anything, I was going to end up in that place anyway. Leo dragged me down a very similar corridor. The walls were bricked. A few wooden doors were embedded in the walls. Leo was half way down the corridor when he reached the door he was looking for. He looked around, suspiciously. Leo's strange behaviour was really starting to worry me. He flung the door open and dragged me in. The door led into a room with a spiralling staircase in the middle. We were at the top of the staircase. I hoped we hadn't got to go too far. Leo led me forward and pulled me down the stairs behind him.

The stairs seemed never-ending. The concrete was wearing down the bottom of my shoes excessively. It was like a tall rounded tower. The stairs were narrow from the wall to the railing that ran down them. The black, ancient railing was just a cold as Leo's skin. As we quickly walked down the stairs, I poked my head over the railings to see how far we had to go. Luckily, the ground was creeping nearer. Thank God for that. I took my eyes away from the ground and looked at Leo again.

My feet touching the solid ground was such a relief. If I had walked down anymore steps I most probably would have collapsed. There was a door just opposite the stairs. The door was small, wooden and arced. It was embedded in another brick wall, equivalent to the walls of the alleyway we had walked in before.

Leo dragged me towards the door and opened it. He led me into another alleyway, however, knowing that this one was lower than the other, made the place feel more like a dungeon. The air was buzzing with tension and anxiety. Flamed torches hung on the stone columns. The columns were evenly spaced between one another, holding up the low ceiling.

"We're nearly there" he whispered to me as we began to venture down the alley. Our footsteps echoed as the sound bounced of the walls like balls. Eventually, the alley changed intensively as we turned a corner. The surface we walked on changed from being bricks and stones to a carpeted floor. I looked down at the deep green carpet, it was quite a gruesome green, not the most pleasant of greens. I looked around and saw no windows. However the room was full of brightly lit paintings of the Tuscan countryside. Some of the paintings looked familiar as some were of the landscapes we drove passed to get here. White leather couches were arranged in small groups. Glossy tables stood in the middle, holding crystal vases full of radiant coloured flowers.

In the centre of the room was a high, polished mahogany desk. I was shocked by the woman sitting behind it. She sat up right on her chair, one hand on top of the other on the desk.

Her skin was dark; she had black hair that had been put into a bun round the back of her head. Glasses with small rectangular frames sat on the bridge of her small nose. She saw us approaching and stood up automatically.

"Good evening Leonardo, I'm glad you're back. They're waiting for you" she greeted us, well, Leo more like. She smiled sweetly at him as we went past the desk. Leo nodded once.

"Thank you, Florentina" he said smoothly. Her smile grew wider at the sound of her name coming from his lips, her cheeks even flushed. I knew how she felt. Her eyes left Leo's body and looked at me. Slowly, she looked me up and down.

Her smile faded disgustedly.

I quickly looked away from her and focused my eyes on the back of Leo.

We walked down a long corridor that became grander the further we walked. Tall, thick marble columns held the high ceiling. The floor changed to marble as well, and so did the walls. Everything was so Renaissance and Romanesque, grand yet ancient. Leo began to drag me to the left side of the hallway, nearing a large wooden door. We approached the door. It looked almost identical to the doors outside the clock tower; Leo released my hand to push the doors open. Once the doors began to open he grabbed my hands and led me in.

We walked into a large room. It was very bright, and perfectly round. Around the domed ceiling was slit windows that let through thin rectangles of bright sunlight on the stone floor.

There was no artificial light.

Very little furniture stood in the room. Only three huge wooden chairs sat at the other end of the room. They looked like thrones. Three men sat at them. The one sitting on the left had bright blond hair, slightly longer than shoulder length. His eyes were a deep crimson. He watched us carefully. The other on the right had long brunette hair, not as long as the blond. His face looked hurt and depressed. He too had bright crimson eyes. Finally, the one in the middle had long, straight black hair. He wore a long black robe. Out of the three his face was the only one that changed at mine and Leo's entrance.

I looked around at the other people in the room. They all had extremely pale faces, just like Leo and the three men. Near the other end of the room stood a girl and boy, the girl had blond hair that was pinned round the back. Next to her, the boy had short brown hair, he held her hand. On the other side of the thrones a girl stood by herself. She had bright blond hair, _platinum_ blond.

She scowled malevolently at me. I quickly looked away from her and laid eyes on the tall man with a hulked body who stood near her. He stared at me as I walked; a small smile appeared on one side of his lips.

Leo finally came to a halt. He bowed his head.

"Master." – _Master_? – didn't he mean father? Not that any of them could have been related to him.

"Leonardo-"the man from the middle throne stood and walked towards us. "- We were expecting your return almost a week ago."

"I know, my apologies." He paused, "I needed to make sure the coast was clear."

"I see." The 'Master' turned away again and slowly, very slowly walked towards the thrones, but stopped halfway. "And I trust that everything has been dealt with?"

"Yes, Master."

"How much?"

"I'm sorry?"

"How _much_ has been forgotten?"

Leo took a second to think. "Everything that you requested."

"Excellent." He turned face me with a wide grin.

"But-"

His grin faded as his crimson eyes shot at Leo.

"_But_? – There should be no '_but_s'"

"It's only a minor issue concerning… the _dog_."

I had officially lost all hope of understanding now. It was starting to sound legitimate – until they brought a 'dog' into it.

"What about him?" he walked towards Leo, eyeing him viciously.

"He has been trying to make contact and, well, he succeeded on a couple of occasions-"

"_What_?" he hissed. "How is that possible-?"

"Through the use of modern technology, it is quite easy. However, I have disposed of the source and it should no longer be a problem."

"For your sake it had better not be." He spat, then he calmed down. "However, your inconsiderateness will _not_ go unpunished." He turned his head over his shoulder. "Jane, dear – would you please do the honours?"

"Yes, Master." I heard a girl's voice.

Suddenly, Leo's body tensed up- His bare teeth, clenched tightly and his eyes squinting with agony. He fell to the ground, screaming. I had never heard a man cry like that before – I couldn't even imagine a man screaming like that.

I bent down next to him, trying to help him – but he was in too much pain to care or move. I looked up at the man who inflicted his on him and begged.

"_Please_, stop it. Stop doing this to him!" I begged, but his eyes never left Leo's twitching body.

"_Please_, Master-"I bit my tongue, but it was too late. His eyes were already off Leo, to me. He looked over his shoulder and nodded once to the girl who immediately took her gaze off Leo. He stopped shaking. He stopped twitching. He stopped screaming. Leo groaned on the floor as he recovered from the pain.

"What did you call me?" asked the man standing over us.

"I-I called you Master, I assumed it was your name."

After a few seconds of eerie silence, he started to laugh. And he wasn't the only one. As he began to laugh, so did others in the room.

But when he stopped, immediately, so did they. In fact, their faces fell serious so fast – there was no sign of happiness or laughter on any of their faces.

"My dear child-"he held out a hand for me. Reluctantly, I took it. "I am afraid I have been unable to properly introduce myself to you. My name is Aro-"he continued to talk, but his name hit my head like a baseball.

_Aro_.

Why did that name sound so familiar?

I stared at him as he spoke soundless words to me. His face stayed the same, yet, somehow, in my mind I saw him a new way. Or an _old_ way even. I knew who this man was in front of me. And as I looked around the room – the room was still unfamiliar, but the faces gradually became known to me.

I knew who these people were and I knew that I didn't like them – I just didn't know why. I still couldn't figure out where I knew them from and how I'd come to meet them in the first place. There was an undeniable scream of fear deep inside me, but, I couldn't figure out why. There was also a part of me that was telling me to run, but I didn't move and again – I didn't know why.

Aro's talk was trying to distract me whilst he searched my mind for my only memories – just as I gained a few more.

"Ah, so you recognise us?" he sighed, disappointedly. He looked at Leo and grabbed him by the throat. I flinched away from them and stumbled back.

"Not only do you return late, and don't deal with things discreetly-" he hissed, "Neither can you make anything _permanent_."

"Please-" Leo was trying to loosen the hand around his neck. "I-I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"No." he smiled. "It won't."

Cracks started to move up Leo's neck. I don't know what happened next. I panicked and-

"Wait!" I screamed, moving towards them. "_Please_, leave him alone. I don't know what this is about, but _please_ just give him another chance. I can't-"I paused and looked into Leo's frightened, frantic eyes. I took a deep breath. "I can't lose him." I confessed.

Aro titled his head in fascination, so I continued. "He's all I have. I don't have a loving family to go back to or friends or _anything_. Leo is all I _have_ – _please_, don't hurt him."

Aro looked from me, back to Leo again. He let go. Leo felt round his healing neck as I rushed to his side and threw my arms around him. Hesitantly, he put an arm around me too and then kissed the top of my head. Aro retreated back a couple of steps.

"You _poor_ child." He sighed, sympathetically. "As you said, you don't have a home to return to – I find that all rather… _sad_. A creature like you should never be isolated from others – particularly ones of its own kind. Renesmee – we would be honoured to take you in as family. Of course, the decision is yours. But we would be absolutely honoured to have _you_ as a part of our family."

I stared at him for a moment, and then looked at Leo. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back.

"Thank you for your offer. I too am honoured that you would consider me as a part of your coven." I smiled. "But, I am afraid I have to decline. No offence."

Aro nodded once. "As you wish."

That was… surprisingly easy.

"But of course – you've travelled such a long way… it would be foolish not to stay for a while, wouldn't it now?"

Leo nodded. "Of course it would. And we shall _accept_ that invitation – won't we sweetheart?" he was looking at me now. I had no choice but to nod.

"Sure." I put on a smile.

"Excellent. Leonardo – you know where to go. Take young Renesmee to her room." Aro eyed Leo in a creepy way. I didn't want to think what was going on inside his head. Leo nodded once, and led me out of the room again.

Leo opened the door into a magnificent master bedroom. The floor was a dark, mahogany wood. The four walls were tall and beige. Directly opposite the door, on the other side of the room were two tall doors, opening out onto a balcony. Two tall windows stood one either side of the door. Maroon curtains hung over the doors and blew into the room; the door was open and let in a gentle breeze. The centre of the room was taken up by a large, king size, four posted bed. The bed was a very similar colour to the curtains and was flourish with pillows. Dark night stands stood on either side. Opposite the bed was a large dresser with three mirrors stood on them. Next to that was a tall wardrobe, it was very long too.

"Wow, this wardrobe is huge" I said, walking over to it.

"Yeah, it sure is. Probably the biggest you can get" Leo insisted.

"It's like its own room-" I stopped myself. An image was forming in my head. An image of a closet, a door opening into another room with millions of clothes in it. Leo quickly came over to walk in front of me. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me gently, taking me out of my trance.

I looked up at him into his now crimson eyes. They seemed so soft, yet deadly. His rich blood-like eyes made my heart skip a beat. His lips suddenly moved down to mine and crushed against them rather violently. I slid my hands up his chest and wrapped my arms round this neck. Leo rested his hands gently on my waist. He eventually pulled himself away from me slightly, so that our lips no longer touched. Even though mine still lusted for his.

"I'm impressed by what you did in there, with Aro. Why did you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"You _saved_ me – twice!"

"I said why – because you're all I have. I can't lose someone like you, Leo. I highly doubt there's anyone else out there like you. I need to make sure no one hurts you or takes you away from me-"he stopped my words with another forceful kiss. I melted away in his arms and smiled.

He put his hands to my face and pulled my face away but kept it close to his.

"Renesmee-"he whispered. Goosebumps covered every inch of my body.

"Mm?" I smiled dreamily with my eyes gently shut.

"I am all you have. There is no one else waiting for you. Like you said – you don't have a loving home to go back to. You can stay with me, here, forever if you want to."

"I _want_ to be with you." I whispered-my eyes still shut.

"In that case – will you marry me?"

I snapped out of my dreamlike trance and my eyes flew open.

"_What_?" I gasped. He grinned and nudged his head the direction of the large dresser. I hadn't noticed it before, but there was a small open box with a ring blaring inside it. The diamond shimmered in the late afternoon sunlight. He pulled my face back to his.

"You know the word that would make me the happiest man alive _and_ dead."

My heart was pounding. I looked at him – I _really_ looked at him. He was what my life seemed to evolve around. He was the only thing I knew. I loved him – I think.

But before I could debate anymore, the word just fell out my mouth.

"_Yes_." I breathed. He smiled and kissed me again.

"_Thank you_," he whispered. "Thank you _so_ much." I figured he was thanking me for making him the 'happiest man alive and dead.'

Two days. That was how long I had to prepare myself for being a bride and wife. I discussed it with Leo and at first though 'What's the rush?' but then I also thought 'What's the _wait_?'

Heidi was already dealing with my dress by the time I went to bed. Leo didn't stay with me that night, he was home now – I think. So, he wanted to get used to his surroundings and do whatever a vampire does at night.

I, on the other hand still needed sleep. So there was no hunting for me tonight. But I wished I didn't need to sleep – after the dream I had. I _never_ wanted to sleep again…

The mist that surrounded me was thick and grey. It felt damp and smelt like the streets after it had just rained, refreshing.

I stepped around various broken branches and trod on crunchy, dead leaves. As I looked up, the trees towered over me as if I was an ant. They leant inwards slightly, making me feel as if they were staring down at me. Grey cloud was just visible through the cracks in the trees. I was in a small circled area, free of trees, but was guarded by them. I didn't know where to go, I didn't even know where I was.

Of course I knew I was in a forest, but where was the way out?

A twig snapped closely behind me, I spun my body round and armed myself towards the darkness between the trees. Eventually, a figure immerged from the darkness. A rather tall man, who still had a hint of childishness in his face. He had dark russet skin, his hair was short, spiky and was such a dark shade of brown, it was almost black. He wore denim pants with a dark brown t-shirt. The t-shirt matched his eyes, they were a nice dark chocolate colour. His arms were very muscular, a tattoo was printed on his right arm. He walked towards me, the closer he came the friendlier he seemed. A smile was forming on one side of his mouth. Finally, he stood opposite me, roughly ten inches away. He looked down at me and continued to smile briefly.

"W-who are you?" I asked in a shaky voice, stepping back half a step. As I stepped back, he followed me.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"You know who I am" he replied in a soft yet husky voice.

"No I don't. Who are you? Where did you come from?" I demanded. Even though I thought he seemed friendly, I was still slightly scared of him. He continued to stare at me and I returned his stare with a curious gaze. He ceased to answer me. As my face grew desperate, he dropped his head.

"Please" I said, taking a step towards him "_Tell me_".

He said nothing, but another voice came from around us – like a voice over.

"Renesmee? – Are you there?"

"If you're there – _please_ say something"

"Ness- are you _alright_?"

It was the voice from the phone call. I looked back at the figure in front of me. His eyes were like thick, warm pools of dark chocolate, so creamy, velvety and mesmerising…

"Please, remember me…" he whispered again, his voice became more quiet and vague.

"But how?" I asked, my words were so quiet it seemed as if I was only moving my lips and no sound passed them.

"Please.." he began, but he faded away into blackness, along with everything else.

I jolted and woke up panting and sweating. Luckily, it was morning. I couldn't stand the thought of going to sleep again.

But, in fact, it _wasn't_ morning. The clock tower rang twelve times. I had slept until _lunch_? – I never sleep that long. But then again, I didn't actually sleep until late. It was around four in the morning when I finally fell asleep. I sat up and rubbed my eyes in continuous circles.

I spent the next few minutes admiring the ring on my left hand.

There was a knock at my door.

"Come in!" I called. I watched to door open to find Leo walking through it.

"Look who finally decided to wake up." He grinned coming over to me.

"I _know_ – I don't usually sleep that long-"

"Don't worry about it. Now that you're awake – I wondered if you wanted to see the sights."

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Does that mean _hunt_ in other words?"

He shook his head. "No, it means _do you want to see the sights_ – the buildings, the city the places, the views. You name it."

"_Seriously_?" I asked.

"Well – you should get to know your new home and I would be honoured to be your tour guide." He smiled.

After a long afternoon of sightseeing, we entered through the clock tower doors to reunite with the rest of the Volturi. I walked merrily beside a serene Leonardo. His posture and walk, completely composed. Whilst mine had a sense of unpredictability to it with the taps of my footsteps never quite matching. For some strange reason, these dark corridors no longer felt so daunting to me. I suppose I would get used to them and eventually even call them home.

Florentina was sat in a cosy armchair as we passed and still only acknowledged Leo's presence and completely ignored me. We reached the feeding hall and Leo turned to me before we entered.

"Put your hood down." He told me, and then he opened the doors. As we passed through, I watched as he coolly flicked the silky hood off his head and walked in. When I followed, I brought the hood back and rested its corners on my shoulders.

I had been so busy trying to make myself look cool and slightly seductive that I hadn't noticed Leo's abrupt stop and I walked straight into him.

"What is it?" I asked quietly.

Aro voice filled the room.

"Ah, Leonardo, Renesmee – you're both just in time. Did you enjoy the sights young Renesmee?"

I wished he would stop calling me 'young' Renesmee, it was annoyingly patronising.

"Yes," I said, peering round Leo's shoulder. "It's beautiful here."

"Indeed it is, well, you shall have plenty of time to closer observe the city another day-"as I moved to Leo's side, I noticed something different about the hall and the people in it.

We had guests.

**Hope you enjoyed it.**

**Can anyone guess who the guests are? ;)**

**Anyway, these chapters have been updated pretty quick - this is purely because of constant confusion. I want to get the story to put you out of your confusion instead of me having to explain it again and again.**

**Anyway - I'll update soon! but i doubt it'll be tomorrow - i'm visiting a university tomorrow - but i should have something by the end of the weekend :)**

**Please review - let me know what you think! :) x x**


	23. Fire and Love, Hate and Blood

**Okay, this is a new version of this chapter, but the change is so small you probably won't even notice it. I'm changing a few chapters so that I have more options for a sequel :)**

**FIRE AND LOVE, HATE AND BLOOD**

ARO CONTINUED, "-AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE GUESTS. RENESMEE-" HE PAUSED FOR A moment and looked at me carefully, then his eyes flicked to Leo who nodded once. "Renesmee, I'd like you to meet the _Cullens_ and they're… _friend_. They're dear friends of ours. I was just about to invite them to the ceremony, if that is alright with you?"

Before I could answer one of the guests, a tall, dark haired, tanned man that I could only see from behind spoke up.

"_What_ ceremony?" he asked, nastily. Aro didn't meet his gaze with such pleasantness as he had the others. Then I noticed something – it was him. The one from my dream last night. What was he doing here? – I didn't realise he actually existed, I thought he was just a figment of my imagination. But here he was, in the flesh and I it didn't look like I was imagining things.

If he was here to hear the 411 on my 'remembering him' situation – I still hadn't the faintest idea who he was.

"Well, _if_ you would let her finish, then perhaps you would know." Aro retorted, then everyone turned to face me or Leo – I wasn't entirely sure.

"Renesmee and I-"Leo began, "-are getting married."

I still had my eye on the dark haired one. When the words carelessly fell from Leo's mouth – it was like something in his heart had fallen too. There was shock and pain that exploded in his eyes at Leo's words and it made my heart flinch.

One of the Cullens, a coppery, red headed one, sharply turned in Aro's direction.

"You _can't_ do this to her," he hissed, "Aro – she's just a child."

"Come now Edward," Aro sighed. "I do not think you realise just how valuable young Renesmee _is_."

"What are you talking about?" asked a girl. She had long brown hair, similar to mine and she was, like the others, beautiful. Aro titled his head slightly and sighed, almost sympathetically. Gracefully, he walked from his throne, closer to the Cullens.

"As you remember last October, we came to visit Renesmee with intentions of a mere catch up to see how she was doing. Of course, unfortunately, things didn't turn out quite so well. However, shortly after our disagreement, we made an abrupt leave. Now, I assume that at the time, you believed it to be just a simple change of heart-" he paused. "-As did I, for quite some time. However, over time I grew curious and, after a lot of debating and reviewing I came down to the conclusion which I still believe to be correct. Renesmee is a lot more powerful than what you give her credit for. Since a young age she has been able to make others see her thoughts and her memories. After recent events it has become clear to me that, in fact, Renesmee possesses a gift that, with practice, could potentially be the strongest gift for any vampire to own." He looked at the red-headed one again. "Although, Edward, _your_ gift is extremely beneficial, don't get me wrong. _You_ are a mind reader, but _Renesmee_ – is a mind manipulator."

Now I knew for sure that everyone was staring at _me_. A _mind manipulator_ – wow!

"A _mind manipulator_?" the pretty brown haired one asked.

"Maybe mind manipulator is a little too explicit – Renesmee can _influence_ others' decisions a great amount. Hence why in the clearing that day, we left with very little words, because Renesmee _wanted_ us to leave."

All this talk of October in a clearing and I didn't have the faintest idea of what they were talking about. The worst part was that _I_ was supposedly there and I played a major part in it – then _why_ couldn't I recall it?

"However – there may be a fault with her ability. The ability to manipulate is only triggered by a negative emotion. _Threat_ is a most common one, same as anger, sadness, fear, anxiety – there is a long list. I suppose, at least this can ensure that she won't abuse her power-"

"I agree that she possesses a very valuable gift," said the blond haired male, "But that doesn't give you the right to just take her away from her fam-"

"Okay!" I interrupted them. I stepped away from Leo and closer to the Cullens. "_What_ are you all talking about? – _who_ are you people?"

"And would you mind telling us _what_ the _hell_ you've done to her?" said the dark one.

"Yes – why is she acting as if she's never seen us before?" the blond man asked.

"I think I should answer that-"Leo stepped forward, "-that's because, to Renesmee, she _hasn't_ seen you before. You could tell her your names, what you are to her, everything about her childhood, her best friend – you name it and you will still mean _nothing_ to her." Leo words were harsh, _very_ harsh. I looked at the Cullens as each one of them looked at me, longing for me to know who they were. But I didn't know – I'd never seen them before in my life up until now. This was becoming too much for me.

"And I'll return to my invitation," said Aro, "You're _all_ more than welcome to stay for the ceremony. It will take place tomorrow at noon. I understand that certain guests may require a bed – am I correct?"

He looked at the dark haired one whose gaze never left my face. He nodded twice and Aro began to consider this one's accommodation.

"So, I assume that as _you're_ staying, then the rest of you are as well?"

The blond haired man turned to face Aro. "We _accept_ your invite."

It was late. I sat alone in my bedroom, scowling at the night sky from my bed. This time yesterday, my life hadn't been so confusing – of course I had a lot of questions about it, but I wasn't confused or overloaded with possible answers.

Shortly after the Cullens had accepted their invite, Heidi had shown them to their rooms whilst I marched off to mine and hadn't left the entire night. Leo had come in on a couple of occasions to 'check up' on me. But his visits were only five minutes or so and they were never heart-felt or meaningful. I felt like he was more or less there just to make sure I was still alive.

I sat on the edge of my bed in a nice silk night gown I'd found in the bottom of the top drawer. It was dark red, just above knee-length and in my opinion _overly_ seductive. But I liked it. It was something cool to wear to bed on a humid night. I'd hoped that my sexy night gown may have made Leo stay a little longer than five or ten minutes, but I don't think he even noticed.

It was slowly approaching eleven and Leo hadn't done his round for a good hour or so – I guessed he'd given up for the night and assumed I was asleep.

It wasn't long before the edge of the bed became uncomfortable. Heidi had come in earlier and hung my wedding dress on the back of my door. As much as I'd hoped for my dress to be white, it was red. With a bit of gold.

With a single candle lit on my dresser, I stood in front of the large mirror in the low light, pinning the dress to my body – imagining what it would look like on. The only thing I could easily tell about this dress was that it would make me look like the bride of Satan rather than just a regular, innocent bride.

My room was drowned in silence, until there was knocking at my door that made my body quake.

My guess was Leo.

I sighed and hung the dress behind the door again before opening it. But it wasn't Leo. It was that dark haired man from earlier, the one who was always looking at me. What did _he_ want?

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"Can I come in?" he asked. I studied him for a moment, not sure if he was reliable enough to invite in. But there was a small feeling inside that was screaming for me to drag him into my room. I peeped out the door to make sure no one was watching, when the coast was clear, I stood aside.

"You may."

I shut the door behind him and he turned to face me, his eyes quickly falling on the dress behind me.

"Is that your dress?" he asked.

I nodded. He stepped past me and gently felt the skirt of the dress.

"It's nice." He said, "Not really what I'd expect of a bride, but nice."

He turned and then he double took before looking me up and down. When I saw the faintest of smiles flicker onto his face, I turned away, embarrassed, and went to grab a robe.

"Is that your _casual_ nightwear?" he asked, amused.

"No." I snapped, "It's just something cool to wear on nights like this."

I tied the robe and looked back at him.

"Yeah," he said, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Not so typical Forks weather here. I can see that."

"_Forks_?" I snorted, "Never heard of it."

He clenched his jaw and he came over to me. I flinched at him closeness, but I couldn't bring myself to run.

"_What_ have they done to you?" he asked, even though I was sure it was rhetorical.

"They have done _nothing_ to me except from take me in and make me family – I fail to see the brutality in _that_-"

"And _why_ are you talking like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like some stuck up snob?"

"_Excuse me_-?"

"Don't try and pretend you can't tell. _Listen_ to yourself – this isn't you. The Renesmee _I_ know doesn't talk like that-" he grabbed my shoulders tightly.

"Unhand me, _now_."

"_See_ – the Renesmee _I_ know wouldn't say '_unhand me_' she would say '_get the hell off me._' – will you _stop_ talking like this-"

"Listen, this _Renesmee you know_ – I'm clearly not her. She's either in another universe or dead-"

"No. You _are_ her. You're just under some sort of mind spell that means you're delusional enough to believe that you're not."

I didn't reply straight away. Instead I studied him for a moment.

I sighed, "I don't even know who you are, I don't know _why_ I'm bothering with you-"

"Because you _love_ me."

"I don't love you. I've never seen you before in my life-" I began to struggle in his hands but soon I was caught off guard with a kiss. A strong kiss. From him.

I struggled more, but he was too strong to be effected. As he pushed harder, I tried to pull further until it was virtually impossible for my head to go back any further. But as his lips continued to crush against mine, something changed slightly. I started to kiss back. A part of me was doing it because I thought that obliging would be my ticket out of this kiss, but the other part did it because I _wanted_ to.

Eventually, I managed to pull away and I was grateful when I did. We both stood nose to nose as we tried to get our breath back. I stared at his lips as I recovered, and I saw them turn up into a smile.

"How was that?" he grinned. When I didn't answer, his lips drew closer to mine again, but before they were close enough, I slapped him across the face. I couldn't believe what I had just done, but I _slapped_ him round the face.

"I think you should leave." I insisted, still staring at his lips. His jaw tightened and he turned to the door and left. The worst part was – I didn't even control him to do that.

An hour had passed since the dark haired man had left and I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. I lay on my bed, gently feeling my lips and feeling my lips flicker into a smile from time to time. I stared out at the night.

_Knock. Knock_. The door made me flinch in the darkness. This time I didn't even get the words out before the door opened and Leo strode in. I immediately felt my cheeks burn red. I hoped, begged and prayed that he didn't know about that kiss. It was an accident, a _complete_ accident.

"Oh, you're still awake." He said when he looked over at me.

"Yes. You don't need to check up on me, I'm still here." I assured him.

"I gathered that. But I'm not here for you – I just need to grab something out of here." He went into the walk in wardrobe and returned in a second holding a dark cloak, a red-ish, black one.

"But-" I began, "You _could_ stay-"

"I don't think so. I have some… _business_ to attend to. Don't you worry. You just rest your pretty little head and I'll see you at noon tomorrow." He winked and he was gone. I was going to call after him, but chose against it. He wasn't going to come back. I sat up on the bed and huffed.

Then I did something that I shouldn't have, something that I had a gut feeling I would regret. I snuck far down the hallway to the next bedroom.

I knocked gently, cautiously looking down both ends of the hallway. Finally, the door opened a crack.

I looked up at him with a face that must have looked pathetic.

"Can I come in?" I asked. Yes, I had retreated from my torture chamber to the bedroom of the dark haired guest. He thankfully didn't hesitate to open the door wider for me. I quickly stepped inside and shut the door behind me. Then I locked it. I hadn't been thinking too straight so I locked the door. Now he looked at me with an anxious face.

"I think I may regret what I'm about to do. But then again, I don't really care." I said and before he could answer, I crushed my lips to his. I could feel his resistance straight away and I didn't blame him. I'd struck him pretty hard and I wished I hadn't but it felt like a natural reaction.

Then, the tension quickly eased and he wrapped his hands round my waist and pushed his lips harder against mine. This time, I didn't resist or pull away. I held my hands behind his neck to make sure his lips never left mine. His hands moved from my waist as they felt their way around my body. I let out a small moan as he moved his hands under my dress.

My hands gently traced his back until they reached the back of his pants, then my hands slid round to the front as I unzipped them. When his pants loosened, he immediately saw that as an indication for me to lose my night dress, which he quickly disposed of. I pulled him over to the bed by his t-shirt and literally ripped it off him as I laid back and he climbed on top of me.

When he started to gently peel my panties off, I knew I was going to get more than what I bargained for. But that didn't make me stop; it only made me want it more.

As the night drew on, we made love under the bed sheets. We hadn't stopped, until I'd moaned something into his ear that made his body freeze over.

I whispered his name. The whole time I'd been there, he hadn't told me his name. Which then he knew, for sure, that I remembered him.

He looked down at me, slightly out of breath.

"You remember me?" he asked. I nodded.

"You've done something to me tonight that only _you_ could do right." I smiled."But don't feel like you have to stop-" I added. It took him a moment to fully register what I'd said and then he kissed me again and we carried on into the night.

The next morning, just like the morning after our first time, we woke up on cloud nine. I lay in his arms, never feeling more content.

"Sorry for slapping you last night." I confessed, kissing his cheek. "It didn't hurt _too_ much, did it?"

He shook his head, "I think when you told me that you didn't love me was a bigger punch in the face than an actual one."

"Sorry about that too - I _do_ love you. I was just, _messed_ up in the mind."

He smiled, "I managed to gather _that_ much."

"I feel kinda bad that _last_ night was better than our _first_ night." I admitted.

"Na, its normal." He said, "It's because _last night_ – we knew what we were doing."

I snorted, "Speak for yourself- my head was so screwed up last night, I didn't know pink from blue."

He laughed and kissed my head. "How's it going up in the brain of Renesmee, now?"

"It's pretty peaceful now."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it."

"Jake?"

"Mm?"

"Don't ever, _ever_ – no matter how much I beg and plead and rationalise – don't let me go to college or _anywhere_ without you."

"Deal." Then he looked at me. "I told you it was a bad idea."

"But I don't think the Volturi were any of the possible catastrophes we made up."

"Probably not. But I guess now we know where the Lauren girl disappeared to."

"She came home." I said.

"We should've figured that-"

I heard the door open and I immediately hid my entire body under the covers, head as well.

"Morning." said Jacob, cheerfully.

"Jake-?" said Bella, in a stern tone. "Who is _that_?" I could hear the accusation in her voice, so I rolled over and poked my head out from under the sheets.

"_Renesmee_?" she gasped. Rosalie shut the door behind them and locked it. I could've sworn I locked it last night.

"Hi mom." I smiled, innocently. "I decided I'd sleep in here last night."

I so desperately wanted to jump out from under the covers and run into her arms. I would have – if I hadn't been aware of my bare body. Bella gathered this and picked my silk dress up off the floor before throwing it to me.

"Jake- why didn't you _tell_ us that she remembered? – we could've left last _night_." She insisted, perching herself on the edge of the bed. I slid the dress on and sat up, the bed sheets still sprawled out over me and Jacob.

"Because I _didn't_ remember – not straight away anyway." I said, straightening the dress straps.

"Wait-"said Jacob, "You _didn't_ remember me – but you slept with me anyway?"

I could feel the stares of everyone burning my skin, mainly my face.

"I came in here with _no_ intentions of sleeping with you – it just _happened_." I insisted, "I had been neglected by my fiancé _all_ night, then you came in and kissed me and I was… _confused_. So, I came here _hoping_ for reassurance and, well, I guess I got it."

Bella shot Jacob a displeasing look

"Don't look at me like that," he said, "She remembers everything now – isn't that the main thing?"

"Jacob-" Edward sighed, "Renesmee is supposed to marry in _two hours_-"

"I realise that." He retorted. "We've got plenty of time to get out of here-"

"No Jake-"snapped Bella, "We _haven't_. We could've left last night-"

"To be honest mom, I don't think it would've made a difference." I insisted, "The Volturi would've noticed us leave whenever – it's not as if we could've snuck out whilst they were sleeping."

"Renesmee is right," Carlisle stepped in, "Aro would have everyone patrol the area to make sure we didn't leave with you, also, like you said he had Leonardo come in and check on you regularly. We couldn't have left without a fight."

"-and it doesn't make a difference now." said Esme, "In fact, it'll be even harder now."

"We have ten minutes until Heidi comes in to wake you, Renesmee-"said Alice, "you need to be in your room and act as if you _never_ left it."

I nodded, "Okay."

Pause

"_Renesmee_?" snapped Alice.

"Yeah?"

"_Go_!"

"What? – hold on, how am I gonna get out of this? Or is this my punishment – to be married to a demon for eternity?"

"No-"she stepped forward and placed her hands on my shoulders. "_You_ need to act as if you're still as brainless as what you were yesterday. Get ready, prepare to marry, but _don't_ actually marry – okay?"

"What are you saying?"

"What Alice is saying-"said Edward, "-is that _you_ need to be the one who creates a diversion. If we're all going to get out of here _alive_, then you have to give the illusion that you'll marry him, and then do something to create a diversion. When their attention isn't completely on you – get out, we'll deal with it from there and meet you at the rear of the building – understood?"

I nodded, "Okay." And headed for the door, but Edward grabbed my arm just before I opened it.

"But Renesmee," his voice was low. "Only wait five minutes, if we've still not come – leave and don't linger, just _go_. And I _mean_ it this time – running back will not be forgiven this time."

Reluctantly, I nodded again and left the room.

As soon as I was back in my room, I found the bed sheets exactly how they were when I left them. I crawled into a ball underneath them and waited for Heidi to appear.

It wasn't long until Heidi opened my door, _without_ a knock.

"Okay, wakey-wakey, time to make you look decent." Her voice groaned as she shut the door behind her. I clenched my jaw and bit my tongue, resisting the urge to say something back. I managed to drag myself out of bed (as if I had been sleeping) and let Heidi do her worst. As long as the wedding photos weren't for the photo album, then I didn't care what she made me look like – even if I resembled an upside-down mushroom.

Two long, miserable hours later – she was done. The whole time I had pushed my mind into dream land. I spent the entire time picturing Alice dressing me up in a _white_ wedding dress in my room, we'd talk about anything and everything as well as what I wanted her to do to my hair and if I wanted to wear this necklace or that necklace. But Heidi had complete control and never spoke a word. I imagined having Claire and Abi getting ready behind whilst Bella sat on a chair next to my dresser whilst my hair was beautifully styled and changed almost beyond recognition. Claire and I would start reminiscing how we'd planned our weddings when we were younger.

But there was no one except me and Heidi. I sighed inwardly as she stuck a few more hair clips in, just so she didn't need to put leftovers back.

"Done-" she sighed, then looked at the clock on my night stand. "Okay, c'mon I'd better get you to Leonardo." My stomach lurched as I pushed myself off the chair. I still hadn't come up with a diversion – whatever it was, I _wanted_ Leonardo to know that _I _knew what he'd done, even though I wasn't too sure myself what exactly he'd done. But I wanted him to know that I knew it was his fault and I wanted him to know how pissed I was that he tried to ruin everything I had. I could die today, but I'd die happy knowing that Leonardo knew that I thought he was a complete asshole.

There was no music- that was the first thing I noticed. Not that it was a particularly happy occasion, why should there be music? The second thing I noticed was my heart pounding at an excruciating speed. Was it because I was scared? Or was it because I still had no clue how to create a distraction?

When I risked a quick glance at my family and Jacob, the third thing I noticed was how close Felix was to Jacob and Edward. He was watching them careful, ready to make a move as soon as either of them did. I guess seeing as one was my dad and the other was my boyfriend – they were the ones to be wary of.

Clearly, Aro was going to marry us. He smiled at me and I tried to return it the best I could with crying or throwing up over him. I was still scared and it was really starting to affect my stomach activities.

Leonardo stood proudly in front of Aro with his hands linked just below his stomach. I couldn't stand this anymore, I couldn't stand the dress and I couldn't stand the tension. I looked back at Aro again – why did he look so relaxed? Surely, he didn't think that my family would happily sit back whilst they married me off to a stranger? But it wasn't just that – did Aro honestly think that _Jacob_ would happily let me marry someone else?

But Aro probably knew that someone would pull something. Hopefully, if I kept up this charade for long enough, he wouldn't expect a rebellion from me.

I stepped up to face Leonardo and smiled as if I was genuinely thrilled that I was to be his wife.

_That's it Renesmee, little hints, little fake gestures. Good girl._

"Right," smiled Aro," shall we begin?"

Then my body flooded in panic. What was I supposed to do now? I couldn't say 'yes' but I couldn't say 'no' either. God! Help!

"_Actually_," I began with uncertainty. "This is such a big thing for me, I mean, I've dreamt about my wedding day since I was a child – I think. But nonetheless, Leo is the one making it happen, so I'd like to say something to him, if that's alright?"

Aro studied me for a moment before he smiled and stepped back, "Of _course_."

I smiled and took a step closer to Leo before gently holding my hands to his face.

"_Leo_-"I breathed, "Darling, baby, liar, my love, back-stabber, sweetheart, deceiver, beautiful, jerk, angel, demon – I hope you burn in hell." - a little too obvious?

No one moved. No one said a word – this I wasn't expecting. Why wasn't anyone reacting? Obviously my family didn't react because neither did the Volturi – but why didn't Aro do anything?

Leo smiled at me, humorously – like I'd just told him a joke or I behaved childishly stupid, and he found it hilarious. He took my left hand and held it in his for a moment, and then he leant forward so that his lips were to my ear.

"Sweetheart-"he whispered. He pulled my hand into his pocket and placed something cold near my hand. What did he have in there?

I felt a little more whilst he whispered words to me that I chose to ignore. He made my hand thoroughly feel what this small object was. It was cold, hard and smooth. His voice came into hearing again.

"…now- we wouldn't want anything drastic to happen, would we?"

Then it clicked. I knew exactly what that was in his pocket – it was a lighter. At first I couldn't understand why he had one. He didn't smoke and the only other thing he'd need it for would be to set light to something else. Maybe build a fire – to burn things. And that was exactly what it was for. I pulled my head away so I could look at him. Judging by the dark glimmer in his eyes, this lighter wasn't for me. Perhaps he had no intentions of killing me. No, he knew that my family would do something and he had it ready for them when they did.

His words filled my head with morbid thoughts of what this lighter could end in. Nothing but purple flames, war, burned bodies, ashes and me an orphan.

I always felt the need to protect my family, and _now_ – they were in clear danger. So naturally, I fought back.

Screw a subtle diversion.

As Leonardo's grin grew more venomous, I grew more furious. Suddenly, my arms flew forward and I punched his chest so hard that he flew back against the wall. Marble crumbled around him as he fell to the floor. As he reassembled himself, I caught a glimpse of Jane out the corner of my eye – she looked at me, ready to inflict the pain, the agony. Aro saw this and made her hold fire.

Leo flew towards me. A great force pushed me off my spot and I was suddenly pushed up against the wall, his arm pinned to my neck – trying to block the air. I struggled for a moment and caught the eye of my father. Then my eyes flicked as Jacob saw me struggling and was about to phase before I yelled.

"Don't!" I cried- he paused in motion. "Don't touch him. I _need_ to do this myself!"

I didn't know if I was controlling him or if he was _actually_ obeying me to his own will, but Jacob backed off.

"Now, now-"Leo drew in closer. "That wasn't very nice."

"You _lied_ to me. You tricked me. You used me-"

"It's not my fault you're so easy to use." He grinned. A new fury erupted inside me and suddenly the rest of the world fell away. I had no more worries, or thoughts – only an aim. And that was to end the man pinning me to the wall.

Before I had a second thought I punched him in the stomach, sending him flying across the floor. I flew to the floor, pinning him down – my teeth bare and snarling. He flipped me onto my back, but then in a blurry flash, I was up against a wall again.

Everything happened slowly, but quick. Leo bared his teeth and aimed for my neck, so I mirrored him. It was a contest of who reached who's neck first-

Everything went dark, my heart in a frenzy and my anger ranging. But as my teeth tried to bite through rock – my head wasn't the one to come off.

I held his head steady on his neck, quickly grabbing the lighter from his pocket.

"I'm only doing this because I love you." I whispered in the ear of his bodiless head. I lifted the head from the body before it could reattach itself. Before me, the headless body fell backwards as I lit the head and it became caged by a bright purple flame.

My lips turned up at the purple flame. I tossed the burning head onto the stomach of the body and watched as the flames slowly spread onto the body.

My head turned up as the sound of a person clapping filled the room. It was Aro – he was looking surprisingly smug.

"Oh, how love hurts. Wonderful, Renesmee – I'm impressed." He smiled, walking towards the flaming body. "For someone of your limited strength – you managed to prove yourself more vampire than what we give you credit for. Well done."

He sighed merrily. I should have been surprised by his reaction – but I wasn't. Life meant so little to him, he didn't care for Leonardo's life at all – in fact, he was thrilled that he didn't have to break a sweat ending his life by having someone else do it for him.

"Ah, one problem down – another one to go." He said, walking away. As he walked, my eyes fell on a raging Lauren who stood on the other side of the room. Her nostrils flaring, she growled through clenched teeth. What was _her_ problem? – Then I looked down at her clenched fists and upon her left hand was a ring… a wedding ring.

It all made sense now. Leonardo was a womaniser. That's why all those women and girls knew him.

_That's_ why Lauren hated me so much.

"_You_." I whispered.

But I would have to time to dwell on that later – right now, I had never been closer to death. I had seen Lauren in rough states before, but never like this. Of course, now she had no reason to keep me alive. I knew the answers to the questions I had about her – so I didn't have a reason to keep her alive either.

She twitched when Edward shouted at me.

"Renesmee, _run_!" – I didn't move, I was almost paralysed with fear. What if this really _was_ the end? – There was no reason why Lauren wouldn't kill me today; it wasn't as if she wasn't strong enough.

"RUN!" Edward yelled again.

This time, my legs obeyed and ran.

I ran as fast as I could.

I didn't know where – but anywhere. I could hear something big going on back in the feeding hall – but I had promised that I wouldn't run back this time. If I ran back, I wouldn't be forgiven. Btu if I didn't run back, there may not have been anyone left to hold a grudge against me.

_No, Renesmee – don't think like that! Just run!_

Five minutes. That was all I could wait for. _Five minutes_. I ran so far away from the feeding hall that I couldn't hear the roars and smashes anymore. The only sound was my footsteps and racing heart.

I finally stopped around a dark corner against a cold stone wall. Whilst trying to get my breath back, I slid to the floor, trying to calm myself down.

I counted the seconds, the minutes.

It had been nearly four minutes, when I heard footsteps. At first I panicked, then I became excited, then I worried, then I didn't know what the hell I was feeling. I stood up, but kept myself pinned against the wall.

The footsteps came closer and I could see the shadow of the figure approaching. It was female, I knew that much. I panicked that it could have been Lauren. _That_ was when I tried to silence my breathing – if it was Lauren; I couldn't risk her finding me.

The steps were loud and then the figure turned my corner.

"Mom?" I recognised her darkened pale figure straight away and threw myself at her.

"Renesmee-"she whispered. "I was so worried about you. Are you alright? – did he hurt you?"

I wiped away happy tears and shook my head. "No, no – I'm fine."

She smiled, "Good – that means I can have you fresh."

"What-?" but before I could finish, she hit me right across the face – sending me to the floor. My cheek stung. I looked up at her in fear. Then I saw it – her eyes. Bella's eyes weren't supposed to be red anymore, but right now they were as red as ever.

Lauren.

I flipped onto my front and tried to scramble up, but she grabbed my leg and pinned it to the ground.

"What?" she titled her head. "Not so curious now, huh?" I watched as my mother crouched down behind me, her eyes never leaving mine. "All those nights when you _tried_ to find me. Obviously you wanted me to hurt you. But it's not so fun now, is it? – not when you don't have your dog around to save you anymore."

_Anymore_?

"_W_-what-" I stuttered. "_What have you done to him_!" I screeched at her. Tears filling my eyes quicker than I could register.

_No. Please no! – don't let him be dead! Jacob please don't be dead!_

I needed to make sure he was alright, but in case he was dead – I needed to kill Lauren for it. I chose the latter and went to reach for her – but as I did, a crunch came from inside my leg and an excruciating throb erupted from it.

I let out a scream and felt the tears flood. I tried to get away with a broken leg, but knew it was impossible. As I cried more – over Jacob's possible death and the pain from my leg, I heard:

"Shh – it's alright. Mommy's here. Mommy will kiss it better." I saw her lower her head to my leg through my burry, tearful vision.

And she bit me.

As I felt the venom start shooting up my leg – I let out a colossal scream. Through my misty eyes, Lauren stood over me. She watched as i lay on the floor, shaking in pain and then she was gone, only a few seconds later did i see a blur of red and brown rush past me.

My body started shaking in pain. The fire shooting in and around my veins. My body was burning – like someone had thrown my living, breathing body into the fieriest pits of hell.

Something turned me onto my back, but the pain still raged.

"Ness- can you hear me?" I heard Jacob's voice and I knew I would have been relieved if it weren't for the agony. I so badly wanted to reply, but the pain had made me lose control of anything and everything. My lips, my limbs, my voice and even my eyes as they started to flutter shut – sending my world into fiery darkness.

"No, no – Ness, come on, _please_ stay with me!" he begged. Just then I heard other voices. I recognised them but I was beyond the point where I couldn't understand what they were saying. But I immediately recognised my parents' and Esme's.

I heard Jacob's voice again.

"…_please_...!" was the last thing I heard before everything dissolved into blackness.

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

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	24. Returning

**Okay, here's the next chapter! :)**

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**RETURNING**

_BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…_

Perfect. Darkness, ache, loneliness and that infernal beeping noise – I was definitely dead and in hell, I just wasn't burning anymore.

Darkness is eternal. And since I was welcomed into it – whenever that was – it had become my latest fear. In darkness, you see nothing, in darkness you are forever isolated and, once more, there is no way out.

However, darkness is also peaceful, depending on what state of mind you are in. When people sleep, even in dreams, they are still in darkness and it creates tranquillity that even in the darkest of rooms, can't be created with your eyes open. It puts your thoughts away on a temporary basis if you're sleeping for the night or on a long term basis if you're in a coma.

I didn't know what I was. At first, I thought I was dead. But as the beeping slowly started to sound similar to a heart monitor I began to think that I could be on the verge of death, in a coma or going through some other form of unconscious recovery.

Whether I was in passing through earth to hell or heaven, I was just thankful someone had put out the fire. I couldn't remember much now on what my last moments of light had consisted of, but I could remember the fire – oh, how I could remember it.

Slowly – I gained my senses. The first was sound and the beeping still didn't stop (and it wouldn't until I died), the next was smell. Disinfectant and the smell of oranges filled my nose. Then my left hand felt warm, really warm – whereas my right felt… _normal_?

Finally, I was blinded. I opened my eyes a crack and saw nothing but bright white light. My eyes hurt and shut again, but then I tried a second attempt. As they gently opened, I managed to differentiate the lights from the ceiling.

As my vision grew wider, everything became less blurry.

I was in hospital. But I suppose the heart monitor should have been a giveaway. Looking up, I could see the little screen that graphically showed my heartbeats and temperature and heart rate and god knows what else.

As I looked down at my body, I saw one of my legs covered in a cast. Perfect.

"Good morning, beautiful." Said a voice, who I knew start away to be Jacob's. I turned my head to find Jacob at the left of my bed side.

"Hi." I said, my voice dry and slightly broken.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, stroking my face, keeping his other hand on mine.

"Relieved to be out of darkness." I smiled. I noticed there were only us in this private room. My parents weren't anywhere to be seen and neither were the rest of my family. I looked back at Jacob and saw the dark rings under his eyes.

"When was the last time you _slept_?" I asked him.

"When you were sleeping with me." – I guessed this being that night in his room in Volterra.

"So, _last night_? Or the night before-"

"Seven nights ago."

"_Seven nights_?" I scoffed, "Jacob – you _have_ to sleep, why haven't you-?"

"Because I wanted to make sure you were alright." He said. "I also wanted to be the first one you saw when you woke up – not asleep, _awake_."

"Jeez – how can you even stay awake for that long?"

He grinned, "It's a gift."

"That still doesn't make it right." I insisted.

I tilted my head and looked at the bleak coloured sheet that covered my thighs and stomach. Then I remembered the pain again. The fire. So much fire.

"What happened?" I asked. "After everything went black. Am I-?" I search my body for pale and icy skin and a pulse-less heart.

"You're alive. Thank god – I was so sure I was going to lose you."

"But the venom-"

"All gone." He smiled. "Don't worry, you're just as vampire as you were last month. You were lucky though."

"How come-?"

The door opened and my parents walked in through mid conversation. Then Bella looked at me.

"Renesmee-"she breathed and threw her arms around me. "Are you alright? How does your leg feel? How are _you_ feeling?"

"I'm fine, mom." I strained through her tight squeeze. "But I think my neck's about to snap."

She flinched away, "Sorry."

"Are you sure you're alright?" asked Edward, leaning forward to stroke my cheek.

"I'm _fine_, I promise." I insisted. "All I want to know is what happened?" then I looked at Jacob. "And what do you mean I was '_lucky_'?"

The door opened again. "When changing a human to a vampire the venom takes three days to complete the transformation," Carlisle stood at the foot of my bed. "_However_, you are already part way there. The venom could have easy had you changed completely within an hour. _That's_ why you were lucky."

"But how did you stop it-?"

"We had to suck it out – it's the only way."

I thought about the bite mark on my leg. It would most likely become a lifelong scar. Damn, I was going to look attractive in a bikini.

"What about – _Lauren_?"

They were silent for a moment. Then I looked at Jacob. He too was hesitant but he finally said "Dead."

"_Dead_?"

He nodded. "She was dealt with after you blacked out."

We shared a long stare, until I looked away – adapting to the rest of the hospital room. The first thing I noticed was a large set of drawers opposite the bed that had a large bouquet of light pink roses.

They were _beautiful_. And there was so many.

"-_Roses_?" I titled my head, admiring them more. Then I looked at Jacob.

"Did you-?"

"As much as I would like to say I bought you an amazing bouquet of flowers, I didn't."

"Then – who did?"

Jacob got up from his chair and walked over to the bouquet. He took an envelope from the large bow that held them together. He held the envelope out to me as he sat down again.

"Here-"

It was blank, so I just took out the note. It read:

_Dear Renesmee,_

_I understand that our decisions over the past months have led to a somewhat rash conclusion. Due to recent events, we have lost two of our members, and one whom could have been a great potential. _

_I must stress my most sincere apologies for what our ambitions have made of you. I trust that you are reading this in a stable condition, well set for recovery. The love and dedication demonstrated on the day of your marriage to Leonardo was undoubtedly touching. Of course, this shouldn't have surprised me. Our hopes for you with us were doomed from the beginning– someday, your family would have become suspicious and found their way to Italy to take you home. I being the blinded by ambition man that I am saw this but chose to ignore it. As a result of this I also eliminated any other possible flaw._

_Regarding what happened between you and Leonardo before his death – I understand you may still be confused. Leonardo too had a very powerful gift and was quite compatible with your own. He had the ability to give one a selective memory. As his superior, I requested for him to follow you to Cambridge University and remove any memory you had of your family, your friends, your lover and ultimately you life. Writing this now, I realise how cruel and selfish this decision truly was. However, the memory of your Jacob was far more stubborn to leave than any other. Although you forgot a great amount, there was still a hint of recognition lurking in your head. This has never happened before. There must be a part of him in you that no supernatural gift could remove._

_I still haven't determined what caused this – although it proves to be fascinating, I shall not push the matter further and will leave you be in peace._

_Again, I send my deepest apologies for what has happened over the past month. I hope that this won't have permanent damage on our relationship and hope that one day we will be able to see eye to eye._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Aro, Volturi._

"Wow." I said, putting the note back into the envelope. "That was…_ nice_?"

"What is it?" he asked taking the envelope, "Do you mind if I-?"

"Be my guest."

He took the note out again and read it through. I could tell there were some parts he needed to read through twice and to be honest – so did I.

"I guess it's the least they can do." He said, giving me the envelope.

"Although they give off the idea that they're fair, it is rare for them to do something like that. They must genuinely be sorry." Said Edward.

"Damn straight." I muttered. "Where are we?"

"Because of the damage done, we couldn't wait to treat you for when we returned home. So we are still in Italy, in a hospital near Pisa airport. If you didn't wake within the next day they were going to transfer you to a hospital in Washington anyway – but seeing as you're awake now, once you have that cast removed, we can replace it with a boot and go home."

So heaven wasn't so far away after all.

"Edward – if come with me and we'll try to hunt down a doctor. Bella – could you please find the others and let them know that Renesmee is awake and we'll be leaving soon-"

"Depending on how quickly we find a doctor in this place." Edward muttered.

"Okay." Said Bella, then she turned to me. She put a cold hand to my cheek then gently kissed my forehead.

"Don't _ever_ do that to me again, do you understand me?"

As she backed away, I looked at her. Her eyes were normal this time, no red, only topaz. I threw my arms around her and hugged her like I'd never hugged her before.

"I'm sorry, mom." I said, my voice shaking and tears spilling. "I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have left in the first place. Even if it meant that I was to be locked in my room for eternity so that I stayed out of trouble-"

"Shh-" she hushed, "It's alright, it's alright – just _don't_ do it again."

The three of them left the room and that left me alone with Jacob again. He still held my hand and his dark eyes rarely left the cast on my leg. I dreaded to think what the bite looked like underneath. In a few months it might be bearable, but until then – it was going to be grim. And once the doctor removed that cast I would see the wound for the first time. I never had the chance to see it before the world went black.

When I looked at him and tried to see his eyes, I began to realise what the experience must have done to him. The vague conversation that I had with him over the phone before Leonardo crushed it now made me cringe. I was so stupid. I was talking to someone who I should have known from anywhere and yet I didn't know who he was. Plus, at the time he didn't know exactly what had happened to me, therefore I must have sounded even more stupid.

I hated myself for that and wished I could go back and slap myself like… like… like I'd hit Jacob when he kissed me.

During a month I had managed to give myself a lifetime of guilt to deal with. I was never going to forgive myself for what I'd done. Maybe I'd also given Jacob a lifetime of telling me 'I told you so'.

I wouldn't blame him if he did. He didn't want me to go, he had a bad intuition about 'Cambridge' – but I'd been too excited by it all to give it a second thought.

"Jacob-"I began, "deep down, are you mad at me for everything I've done-?"

"Ness, I-"

"And _please_, don't go easy on me. Tell me the truth. I want to know."

He sighed and took both of my hands in his before finally looking at me in the eyes, straight in the eyes.

"At first, yes, I was angry with you for what you had done-"

"But then you loved the sex so much that all was forgiven?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No." he insisted, "Well, _maybe_, it paid a small contribution."

I smiled for a moment, and then let it slip to resume seriousness.

"_But_-"he continued. "I began to realise how much of a victim you really were in this. You didn't think this Leonardo guy was any harm and he didn't give you enough time to realise he _was_. Everything after that was completely out of your control. Ironically- given the circumstances. I could never blame you for something you fell a victim to." He paused. "I mean, the guy lied to you, he tricked you, he used you, and he _violated_ you-"

"He didn't violate me, Jacob."

"What?"

"I never slept with him. Admittedly, he did try – but I rejected him."

"_Why_? – Not that I'm disappointed you rejected him-"

"I said 'no' because something felt wrong doing it. Although we'd been apparently dating for five years, it didn't mean that everything came naturally."

Jacob was silent and stared at me for a long while.

"So… you _wouldn't_ sleep with him. Yet you agreed to _marry_ him-"he started to laugh, "Sounds legit." I playfully pushed him.

"Well when you say it like _that_ – of course there is no logic in it. But… I don't know. I guess there's a different trust in both of them. One trust I had in him, the other I didn't."

"Right, okay, I'll take your word for it." He stopped laughing and looked at me again. "But, to answer your question – no, deep down, I'm _not_ mad at you."

"So… do you still love me?"

"More than ever." He smiled and came closer to me. "But, just so you know, I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

Our lips were almost touching.

"And I don't want you to ever let me out of you sight." And we kissed.

"But er-" Jacob pulled back a little. "I'll be the first to ask – what the _hell_ have you done to your hair?" I looked down my chest as the black curls rested on it. I shook my head.

"It'll wash out." And I returned my lips to his.

Except from the roar of the engines, the plane was quiet. A majority of passengers were sleeping and those who weren't, were reading or quietly watching TV. Behind me I could hear the quiet talk of my family; Emmett would sometimes laugh at something. At one point I watched him as Jasper said something to him that I couldn't hear – Emmett's booming laugh had made the passenger on the other side of the aisle jolt out of sleep. He was careful now about how often he laughed and how loudly he did it.

Of course, none of them would sleep. They had to entertain themselves with conversations seeing at the TV didn't really appeal to them and books were out of the question.

Jacob on the other hand was out like a light as soon as he sat down. He had woken on a couple of occasions to readjust himself to comfort. Now he was lying down with his head on my lap and his feet way off the seat. Stewards and Stewardesses had to slow down as they tried to move around him.

I sometimes found myself absent-mindedly stroking his hair or his cheek, just to keep my hands busy. Sometimes, I too fell in and out of sleep.

When they removed my cast back at the hospital, the bite wound was tightly wrapped in a separate bandage. It wasn't as bad as I expected, but it was painful to walk. The boot was one of those damn space boot things. Although at first I partially enjoyed the fun of pretending to be an astronaut, but after a few minutes it became more nuisance than entertaining. I would have to walk around with this boot on for a few weeks, maybe five or six. By that point my leg should be fully healed, except from the bite scar.

We landed at Seattle International the next morning. It was Saturday and the airport was surprisingly busy. Luckily, none of us really had any luggage. They had been in such a hurry to get to Italy that none of them had packed a suitcase and my luggage had most probably been left in England.

Gentle drops of rain streaked down the window of the car. Good old Forks weather. I had missed it so much, well; I missed it when I remembered what Forks was. I gently rested my head against the head rest in the back of the car. The humid outside air patted my forehead and hair, as it soared through the slightly open window and was sucked out again. Bella and Edward had insisted that the windows were open. Apparently a car is just too compressed to stand Jacob's 'unpleasant odour'. Whereas personally, I didn't think it was too bad. However that could be due to the fact that I'm still half human, and so Jacob's smell wasn't as repulsive as other full vampires make out.

A few spits of rain hit my face; I turned away from the window and faced the back of the chair in front of me. I slowly looked down at my leg. The stupid support boot weighed a lot for a boot. It was making my leg feel really hot too. It was a bit hard to walk on at first, however, by the time we were back in Forks, it wasn't too bad. My leg still hurt from time to time, however it wasn't as bad now.

We were just reaching the border line to Forks when I realised how quiet Jacob had been. I had been so busy staring out the window, refreshing my memory of the scenery. My mind had left Jacob, and Bella and Edward out. I wondered if they had tried to talk to me and I had been in a daze or something. I turned my head to look at Jacob. He was doing the exact same as what I had been doing; he was staring out the window too. He looked like he was thinking, _a lot_.

"Jacob?" I asked suddenly. There was a sudden buzz that rose in the car at the sound of a voice. Jacob's head spun round so fast, I was surprised that he didn't get whip lash. He seemed quite jumpy too, what was wrong with him?

"Are you okay? You seem pretty... not you" I said with a short, nervous giggle. He stared at me for a while then he finally came round.

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm fine. I was just... thinking" he said.

"Yeah I could see that, what were you thinking about?"

The rain continued to spit on my face. Whilst I continued to look at Jacob, I moved my hand behind me and rolled the window up. I didn't care whether Bella and Edward were finding the smell unbearable or not, we were going to be home in about twenty minutes.

Jacob continued to look at me, thoughtfully. Judging by his expression, I guessed that he may have been debating in his head whether or not to tell me the truth. Was he thinking about _it_? The thing he told me to forget about and convinced me that he didn't care. Did he lie about _that_?

"Nothing, it's just... you're so beautiful"

"Nice try, but it's not gonna work. What's up?"

A smile formed on one side of his face at my comment, and then it faded. I reached one of my hands out to hold his hands.

"Jacob what's wrong? You seem really _disturbed_ by something" I insisted.

Jacob removed one of his hands from underneath mine. He then lifted it up and held my chin, looking me straight in the eye.

"It's nothing you need to be concerned about" he insisted.

He brought my face closer to his and kissed my nose. I had wished it were my lips, but we weren't alone. He pulled his face away and winked at me, dropping my chin and the same time. I smiled at him as I began to turn my head. As I turned my head, my eyes fell upon the steering wheel. Edward's grasp on the steering wheel was tightening; his knuckles were almost sticking up like knives. I wondered what was wrong with him too.

The car crossed the border into a forest. It was the same forest our house stood in. I watched out the windscreen, waiting happily for the moment that my home immerged from between the trees. The rain that flew in from the window calmed as the trees began to shelter the road slightly. Finally, I could see the house immerge from behind the thick forest trees. I couldn't help but to release a smile onto my face at the sight of the familiar building. I was finally home.

Edward pulled his car onto the driveway, parking it right next to my Volvo. As soon as the car stopped I quickly unplugged my seat belt and opened the door. When I was out, I shut the door and immediately felt something touch my waist. I spun my head round and saw Jacob standing right next to me. I smiled at him as I began to walk. As I walked down the drive way, I saw Carlisle's car appear from the road. I reached the front porch steps and stopped. Slowly, I lifted up my left foot and placed it on the step. The sudden amount of weight on my foot made my leg roar in agony. I hissed at the pain. I then lifted my right leg up and placed it on the step.

Jacob stopped moving with me.

I was about to ask him why, but my legs suddenly disappeared from beneath me as Jacob scooped them up and carried me the rest of the way. I wrapped my arms round his neck and rested my head on his shoulder. I lifted my head from his shoulder to look behind me. Bella and Edward walked in behind him slowly, Edward's hand was wrapped around one side of Bella's waist. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Emmett and finally Jasper and Rosalie walked along behind them. Jacob stopped as he tried to open the front door, and he succeeded. We walked through the front door and the smell was overwhelming. The smell replenished my nostrils, it wasn't a bad smell, nor was it a good smell. It smelt familiar and safe.

It smelt like home.

Jacob put me down and I waddled further into the room. Emmett was snickering behind me; I looked over my shoulder to see him blocking laughter with his hand over his mouth.

"_What_?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, penguin."

"Don't mock my walking." I snapped, "It's the best I can do right now – okay?"

"Okay, just wait until its gets better – then you'll be walking like a duck."

I rolled my eyes at him and rested against the arm of the nearest couch. They were the same white couches from the dream I had at Cambridge, it was the same room too.

Esme came over to me and put an arm round me.

"Welcome home." She whispered as I looked around the room.

"Thanks," I hugged her and she perched herself on the couch behind me.

"Actually-" I said, standing up. Jacob was at my side, giving me support. "Thank you _all_. And I'm sorry, I'm so, _so_ sorry. I'm sorry for what my _lack of contact_ must have put you through. I'm also sorry for everything else – for falling for a complete stranger who turned out to be an enemy, then for going to Italy with him, for _eloping_ and for putting all your lives at risk by doing so. You all love and care for me enough that you went nearly half way around the world to save me. I just wish that I could've done something the same-"

"You did." Said Carlisle. "Your father heard your thought process as you discovered what Leonardo was hiding in his pocket. He told me about it whilst you were in hospital." He slowly walked towards me. "When you realised that Leonardo was a threat to us, you forgot everything and put your own life on the line to stop him. And you did. You were still recovering from being in love with Leonardo that was the part that enabled you to stand up with him to marry him. But even then, you destroyed him with speed and skill that none of us even knew you had. Maybe you _are_ a lot stronger than what we give you credit for-"

"But I didn't kill Lauren. _That_ would have been notable."

"_Renesmee, Renesmee, Renesmee_-"said Carlisle, taking my hands. "You're too hard on yourself. Don't be. Leonardo was a relatively new vampire – which was why your destroying him was so impressive. However, Lauren was even younger than him – she was tougher and it would have been difficult for just one of us to defeat her, let alone just you. So don't be so critical – be _proud_ of what you did."

"We know the past month has been tough for you-"said Esme, touching my arm. "– to be honest, _I_ think it may have been tougher for you than it was for us. You've felt empty and alone. You were warped into thinking that your family hated you, especially your parents. No one should ever have to go through something like that."

"But at least you're back now." Said Bella, "You're home, you're safe and with your family and friends and people who _do_ love you and care about you. And we will love you forever, no matter what."

I smiled at her and felt tears threaten my eyes. "You know that I'm still going to feel bad for everything that's happened."

"I know – but it was worth a shot anyway." She smiled.

For the next hour, I grew used to home again. Jacob took me to my room where I spent fifteen minutes face down on my bed inhaling the scent of my room. Jacob laid down next to me in silence. At first I thought he was just giving me some time, but when I lifted my head, he was genuinely staring into space. _Again_.

"Jake, what's _wrong_?" I asked, resting my chin on his chest.

He smiled, "Nothing, I'm just thinking."

"When are you going to start sharing some of these thoughts?" I moaned.

"In due time, beautiful, in due time." He kissed my forehead a thought a little longer. "What do you want to do?"

"Go out." I mumbled into his shirt.

"_Out_? – But you only just got in. Besides, where the hell are you going to walk in this condition?"

"We're obviously going to drive-"

"Where?"

"La Push."

"_Where_?"

I shrugged.

"I don't know – Sam and Emily's place?"

"Fine, if that's what you want-"

"You don't want to go, do you?"

He sighed at sat up, sitting me up with him. "I honestly don't care. But-"

"If we don't go then you _have_ to tell me what you're thinking so much about-"

"Okay, let's go!"

We drove the Mustang to La Push in silence, but not the awkward kind. As expected, my parents were reluctant to letting me go out so quickly. But I told them that Jacob would be with me, plus, it was only Sam and Emily's – it wasn't anything too drastic.

I still found myself looking over to Jacob from now and again. He sat with one hand on the wheel, the other hanging just out the window and his face dissolved in thought. What was he _thinking_? – What was going on in that head of his?

Maybe he _was_ still mad at me for what happened – he just wouldn't admit it.

Outside Sam and Emily's house, my car wasn't the only one there. There were a few of them- roughly four, five others. As I unplugged my seatbelt, Jacob helped me out of the car. Small surges of pain shot up my leg as I began walk after he locked the car.

"You alright?" he asked as we walked towards the door.

I nodded, "I'm fine."

Just inside the door I could see Quil and Claire. There were others in there too. Claire looked over her shoulder and then double took.

"Renesmee!" she yelled, running through the door to me. I could see she was about to throw herself at me but saw my leg and skidded to a halt.

"Hi!" I breathed, flinching away.

"Y'know, there's this thing called 'answering your god damn phone' – maybe you're unfamiliar with this term?"

"I'm not… I just… its complicated, I'll explain another time."

We continued to walk to the front door.

"And what happened to your leg?"

"Broke it."

"Dare I ask how?"

"Someone _else_ broke it."

"What happened to your _hair_?"

"Dyed it."

"You'll explain later?"

"Of course I will. Right now, I just want to feel at home."

"Why are there so many people here?" Jacob asked as we crossed the porch.

"Emily had the baby at like two this morning. Her family are upstairs, the rest of us have to wait to see the baby."

I stopped.

"She's _had_ the baby?"

Claire nodded.

"Why is it when I leave that all the _positive_ interesting stuff happens?"

"Because you're a danger magnet, that's why." She grinned and led me into the house.

I got happy greetings from everyone, except from Abi, who at first was just like Claire in complaining about my lack of contact. But she came round. Because my leg was starting to kill, Seth gave me his chair to sit on.

When I wasn't walking around, Carlisle had told me I could take the boot off. And now, that's what I did. The boot was lined with thick foam to create comfort, but all it was doing was creating discomfort.

"Woah – did you cut your leg open?" asked Abi, staring in awe at the white bandage wrapped around my leg.

"Not really – I got it bitten. Does that count?"

"What kind of bitten?" asked Quil. I looked at him.

"What kind do you think?"

"Wait-"said Claire, leaning on the table in front of me. "So _you_ got bitten my a vampire, but you haven't changed-"

"It was sucked out."

"Nice." She grimaced. "Who bit you? – anyone we know?"

"Lauren." I said, "She also broke my leg – but I suppose that would seem fair considering I killed her husband."

"You _killed_ her husband?"

I nodded, "But, it's okay – he had it coming anyway."

She stared at me for a moment before asking: "So what happened to Lauren?"

"She's dead." my heart leapt every time I thought about it. Every time I realised I didn't have to live in fear of her any more I felt content. Knowing Jacob had been there too, I saw her look behind me at him for confirmation. Before she looked back at me, her eyes twitched at Jacob.

"So Cambridge…?" she asked, meeting my gaze again. I studied her for a few seconds before disregarding her small change in mood

"Was a trick."

"Yes! Ha – _you_ owe me ten bucks." Quil was grinning at Embry with his hand open wide.

"_What_?" snapped Claire. "You _knew_ it was a trick?"

"Of course not – we were just betting on things. _That_ was a bet that came up."

"You didn't think to tell _me_ about it?" said Jacob, turning on them.

"C'mon Jake, we were just betting that Lauren dragged Renesmee to Cambridge-"

"But she didn't." I said.

"What?" he whined.

"Ha! – I guess I _don't_ owe you ten bucks."

"Lauren was meant to be just a watcher. She was only here to make sure I received the Cambridge letter, I accepted it and I left. That was her mission. It was a trick from the Volturi."

"How come?" asked Claire.

I grinned, "Because I'm _special_."

She raised an eyebrow, "How special?"

"Special enough that they wanted me as apart of their coven."

"Jeez- what crime did you commit to deserve such a fate?" she grinned.

"Well, according to Aro – I'm a _mind manipulator_."

"What's that?" asked Leah.

"It means I can influence people's decisions a great amount."

Claire stared at me for a while. And I could have sworn I saw a few people step back from me out the corner of my eye.

"So does that mean you can control minds?"

I nodded, "Pretty much. But don't worry, I've sort of vowed that I will only use it in life-threatening situations and will never use it on a person I care about unless it is _absolutely_ essential."

Out the corner of my eye I could see someone coming down the stairs. I looked over to where the voice had come from, same as everyone did. I could soon see it was Sam. He reached the bottom step and turned to us, with his child in his arms.

"Renesmee, you're back from Cambridge early" Sam said surprised as he approached the group.

"Yeah well, I just didn't like it much, that's all" I insisted. The more people asked, the less information I gave. Also, the more I lied. I would have liked to stay in Cambridge, but the whole 'it was a trick' thing made me feel rather idiotic.

Sam smiled at me as he looked down to gaze at his son again. I followed his stare and watched the baby as his chest quickly expanded and shrunk rhythmically. His head was turned away from the rest of us, leaning into Sam's arm. The room fell silent as everyone admired the new life Sam held. I had a strange urge to hold the baby; I'd never held one before. I had held a baby buck before, when I was ten, after realising I had killed its mother. I sat with it for hours, comforting it, feeding it grass. Unfortunately, when I returned to see it the next day it was dead; it couldn't find its home without its mother and died of the cold.

So I drained it.

I stared adoringly at the baby for a few more seconds before deciding to ask.

"Can I hold him?" I asked. Sam looked up at me from the baby; he seemed slightly amazed that I had asked to hold his child. I stared at the two of them for a couple of seconds, and then Sam began to move towards me. I took his answer as yes. Everyone watched Sam as he moved towards me. Once Sam was in front of me, I made my arms loosely crossed; so then I was able to extend my arms to hold the baby with a good amount of support. Sam slowly slid one of his arms out from underneath the baby and held its head with his hand. Then he passed him to me. As the baby slid into my arms I was surprised at how light he was. It was like holding a small cushion, soft and light. Once he was secure in my arms, Sam took a step back.

His skin was the same colour as Sam's, a light brown, russet colour. He had Sam's nose and had his face shape. However he had Emily's eyes. I lifted my hand slightly and stroked his warm cheek softly with my thumb. His head began to twitch from side to side, my thumb immediately froze. I knew I had woken him; obviously I didn't do it deliberately. My face backed away from him as I prepared myself for his 'longing for his mother' cry. However, he didn't cry. Instead his head stopped turning and his eyes opened. His brown eyes reminded me of leaves on a tree that were shaded from the bright sun on a typical autumn day. They were fascinating and yet so beautifully stupefying at the same time. His eyes were adorable, they were the perfect example of puppy dog eyes; so wide and innocent. He stared up at me, his mouth open slightly with a look of fascination on his face. I had hoped that he had met Emily; I didn't want him to think I was his mother or something. The corner of his mouth twitched slightly and that twitch was enough to trigger a strange fluttering happiness feeling in my heart.

My attention was torn away from the baby by Emily's sudden call for Sam.

"Sam... Where's Toby?" I heard her demand from upstairs. I looked up at Sam as he came towards me again. I handed him Toby without a word.

"She's _supposed_ to be resting" he muttered to me. I smiled at his comment as he turned away from us and headed to the stairs. As Sam turned to walk up the stairs, Toby was visible again. He was still looking at me, except his mouth wasn't hanging open now. I watched him as he went further and further up the stairs. As I watched him, I could feel a small smile form on one side of my mouth. I continued to stare at the stairs, even after Sam and Toby had disappeared. What was it with me and eyes? I couldn't seem to get his autumn leaves eyes out of my head. They were so strange, not your average brown. They weren't mesmerizing like Jacob's, but they were still intriguing.

"Renesmee…_Renesmee _- hey!" Claire was snapping her fingers in front of my face. "Don't start going googly eyed over babies, you haven't even graduated yet-"

Abi gasped excitedly. "Which reminds me – I managed to convince my parents to let me have the house on the night of graduation. So – I'm throwing a graduation party and you're all more than welcome to come. Renesmee, you _have_ to come."

"Why do _I_ have to come?"

"Because you're a graduate, that's why. And don't sound like that – I know how much you love parties."

"Mm, just make sure Alice doesn't beat you to it." I grinned.

"Is she throwing a party?"

"I hope not, but it wouldn't surprise me."

Abi pouted and sat opposite me. I reached for her hand.

"Don't worry – I'll make sure she _doesn't_ throw one."

Unfortunately, I couldn't _promise_ that. Alice couldn't resist a party and even _my_ graduation would be enough for her to throw the new party of the centaury – only to outdo her previous party.

But who knew, maybe Alice wouldn't get involved this time.

**Hope you enjoyed it :)**

**Let know what you think! Please review!**

**I'll update soon :) x x**


	25. Please Don't Leave Me

**Okay, here's the next chapter of Full moon.**

**Enjoy! :)**

**PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME.**

ALICE WAS UNCONTROLLABLE.

It was June, or more specifically the night before my graduation and Alice was already adjusting the house's lighting. I had tried to stay out the way, and succeeded however I hadn't succeeded in keeping Alice's party obsessions at bay. Luckily, Abi was out later than she was allowed with Embry a couple of weeks ago, therefore her punishment was grounded until graduation and no party at her house. I managed to convince her parents into letting her come to my house for graduation.

I teased Abi about the night that caused her punishment. She refused to tell me what her and Embry were doing which led to only one conclusion. I had fun irritating her at school, until she bit back with everything I did with Jacob. Then I stopped.

Carlisle scanned my leg and it was clear all was healed - adios support boot!

But we also removed the dressing for my bite wound. One word - yikes. The patch of skin between the upper and lower teeth marks looked like it must have been hanging on for dear life at one point. The bite was so deep. I hadn't seen it when it was devoured in blood, but now it was black, blue, purple, brown and yellow - plus black crisps of blood around the marks.

Considering what my diet consists of, I'm never squeamish of blood - but the sight of my leg made me gag. Alice had insisted that I wear a dress for the graduation party, but black tights were to be worn. I refused to walk around with my mangled leg on show. I didn't know how many of these people were going to see me again, but if they weren't, I sure as hell didn't want my leg to be how they thought of me in years to come.

It had been a quiet month - the first in a long time. With my graduation a day away, I often found myself thinking about what I'd do after I graduate. I considered a close college once or twice. I told Jacob, and of course he didn't need to think twice about saying 'no'. I asked him why, already knowing the answer, but he said something I didn't expect.

"I wouldn't be there."

I know that was the same reason he gave me before Cambridge and it was an answer to be expected, but I was expecting something that was more like a lecture or something.

It was strange behaviour coming from him and it wasn't the first time he was odd. Over the past month he had gone through small phases of being strangely quiet. These would only be for an hour or so, but still. I tried asking Edward on several occasions what was up with him, and it only ended with:

"It's best that I don't tell you." but it was never said with reassurance or even a crooked smile. He would give me that answer in a sincere tone and change the subject.

So, Edward was being odd too. A lot of people noticed a change in them. Most of them ignored it. When it came to Jacob, people tended to ask me - but I didn't know anymore than they did.

Jacob had 'left' me nearly an hour ago and told me I'd see him tomorrow after I graduated. He left, but I wasn't tired - so, naturally, I found something for myself to do. I ripped a page out of my notebook and doodled on every inch of both sides.

As I finished a mini landscape doodle of a forest at twilight, I noticed something. Jacob left an hour ago - then why could I hear his voice downstairs?

I thought about ignoring it, but that only lasted for a few minutes. I left my bed and crept over to my door. Over the years, I had learned how to eavesdrop on conversations without making a sound. Another thing I was grateful for was that over the years Edward had blocked my thoughts and only listened to them when they were screaming at him or he felt he _needed_ to listen to them. As I opened the door a crack, I pinned my ear to the gap and listened.

It was definitely Jacob's voice.

"...can someone _please_ say something, this is pretty tough for me." he said.

Silence.

"Jake-" sighed Bella, "It's only been nine months. Don't you think you should give her more time. She's had a few traumatic months - give her a break."

"She's been through it before," he argued, "It'll be different this time."

"We're not doubting that it'll be different this time Jacob. What we mean is that we think she needs some 'normal' time." insisted Edward.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means just give her graduation. Let her have summer vacation or something."

Silence. I heard movement and then Carlisle's voice sounded.

"I know that this doesn't concern me, but Jacob, think about it. If you were Renesmee, how would you feel? Considering everything that's happened to her over the past few months."

"Personally, Jake-" Bella said slowly, "I don't think she's ready - but this is your doing, it's _your_ decision."

"I understand." he said quietly

"However," said Edward. "I'm grateful that you haven't said anything to her yet. Thank you for holding back."

There was silence again.

"Tomorrow," said Jacob "after she graduates."

I shut my door.

I stood there, my thoughts running wild.

Was Jacob..._leaving again_?

Was that why he was being so quiet? He knew he needed to leave again, but after everything that we've become, it's made it even more difficult to say goodbye.

Why?- How could he do this to me? – If he really loved me then the least he could do was to tell me this. In fact, he should have told me this before we became like we are, before we started dating.

He should have told me as a friend.

All this time. The whole time he knew he was going again and yet he let me fall in love with him and let my world naturally revolve around him.

If I wasn't so hurt, I would be sick.

I couldn't believe it. This couldn't be happening – not again. How many years would it be this time? – Fifteen? Five? Twenty? Eighty?

Surely once was bad enough. I couldn't pull through again. Losing Jacob the first time, I was losing a best friend. This time I would be losing something much more than that – I would be losing _everything_. That night, I sat awake in a trance, crying soundless tears. No one came in to check on me, which I was grateful for. Although, even if someone _had_ checked on me, I wouldn't have noticed.

I had been so away that I hadn't even noticed the break of dawn. My eyes felt heavy and sore. During the night, my bed sheets had slowly made their way down to join me on the floor.

Looking at myself in the bathroom mirror I hated to admit it – I'd just experienced a phase. My first one in nearly two years. Luckily this one had only lasted a night and no longer. I considered this to be a '_Pre_-Jacob's Absence Depressive State'.

Oh, _why_ did he have to leave?

Underneath my eyes were faded dark marks, the first sign of sleepless nights to come.

The sudden change from normal life to painful was becoming so stressful, I wanted to punch something. I could feel the rage and other emotions building up – I just didn't know what to do with it all. Crying was no longer the way out – it didn't subdue the pain anymore, not all of it anyway.

Claire sent me a text that morning as I got dressed, telling me she would be coming to my graduation. I told her not to, but she insisted. She wanted to see me 'in school' apparently and it was supposed to be a proud day for me. I should bask in the day's glow.

_I would if the day _had_ any glow_, I thought spitefully.

Then, of course, she had to spill about how much of an achievement me making it through the academic year _without_ being expelled was. I didn't reply to that text. With my lack of response, Claire figured I took offense and sent an apology.

I accepted her apology and didn't text anymore. She must have thought I was just busy getting ready and decided to stop distracting me.

I suppose I _was_ busy in that sense. I had told Alice not to dress me up for graduation. I assured her that I could dress myself in something nice with the clothes I already had. So everything was up to me. I had planned to prepare my outfit the night before, but certain '_things_' came up.

As I sat in front of my dresser, staring at my reflection in the mirror, I frowned. I never usually put on makeup, but today seemed like an exception I guess. I put on some mascara to lighten my dull, tired brown eyes. It made a surprising difference. There was just enough of it to hide the darkness around my eyes.

My parents were taking me to school in Edward's car. The others were coming in their own transport. As I walked down the stairs I saw the rest of my family dressed nicely without overdressing and without appearing underdressed.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Smiled Esme. I looked at her and put on a smile – which was practically plastered to my face until we got in the car.

Once in the car, I didn't hesitate to plug in my iPod. I didn't want to be anti-social or rude, but neither did I want to have a conversation with anyone. Not verbally anyway. When we neared the entrance of the forest there were two ways we could go and both ways determined whether I would opt to walk or I would stay. One way led to La Push, the other led to my school. I argued with myself that I was beyond this kind of immaturity, but I was worried, no, _terrified_ of seeing Jacob. I knew he was going to wait until _after_ I graduated to tell me he was leaving, but I just didn't want to see the last signs of it before it happened. Jacob was going to be nervous, he was going to be worried about telling me and I would be able to see it as soon as he got in the car. I wouldn't be able to ask him if '_everything was okay_' when I knew myself exactly why it wasn't okay.

When we turned, I relaxed. We were going in the direction of my school. Thank god.

Even though I was relieved, I paused my music:

"Aren't we taking Jacob with us?" I asked.

"No, "said Edward, "He's meeting us there."

"Okay." And I wanted to just leave it at that, but it went on.

"You won't be able to see Jake until _after_ you graduate though." Bella added. "Unless you can spot him in the crowd."

My stomach dropped millions of miles below hell. Not until _after_ I graduate?

So this was it. I wouldn't even be able to have a relatively normal conversation with him before he confessed? – My next conversation with him was going to be my _last_.

So far, my graduation was the undoubtedly crappiest one in history. All I needed next was for people who hated me to rise from the dead and sabotage the graduation ceremony and it would start making 'World's Worst' records.

We went our separate ways as soon as we arrived. Not because we had to, but because I _wanted_ to. Jacob still wasn't there, but Abi was with her parents and Embry whilst Eli was talking to his grandparents. I couldn't join them – especially not Abi. I saw Claire's car coming down the road and made a run for it. Once Claire was here – there was no getting away from it. And she would see that something was wrong, and she wouldn't stop until she knew what.

Then I wondered – does Claire know?

Had she known the whole time too that Jacob was leaving again?

It wouldn't surprise me. I mean, she knew that he'd imprinted on me and managed to hide _that_ from me my entire life. She didn't even hint anything when I was in my darkest moods- but I didn't have time to hold a grudge against her for not telling me about the imprint now.

Alice waved as Claire's car pulled into the parking lot and I disappeared into the building.

My name was called. The applaud started again. I immediately heard Emmett, then Jacob, then various others.

I walked up the steps on auto-pilot. The lights were on but no one was home. Physically I was there, _mentally_ I was almost nowhere.

The sweet '_thank you_' passed my lips which held onto the fake smile which implied happiness, false happiness. When I took a brief glance at the audience, I deliberately looked at the side of the audience I knew no one I knew was sitting in.

As I walked off the stage, the next name was called and my mini spotlight was over. I had also, _technically_, graduated.

Abi was a few people behind me. I hadn't had the chance to talk to her yet. Eli, being Warner, was all the way at the back – poor guy. I sat on the first seat I could grab and joined in the applaud when it was due.

Ryan Vale, a senior (of course) and also very gifted in the drama and charisma area, gave a speech after everyone had crossed that stage. I'd seen him around school, he'd smiled at me a couple of times and I'd smiled back – but he wasn't anything special.

I wanted to take my graduation cap off just to give me something to play with whilst he talked. But no one else had their caps off – I'd feel odd just taking mine off. So I kept it on and regretfully listened to what he was saying.

Not saying that I'd been to a graduation before, but his speech wasn't anything out of the ordinary. There weren't any fireworks or elephants or cake, only supportive words, lying about how he'd miss everyone one of us. Telling a short funny story about when his brother graduated and then giving us a humours lecture what we should and shouldn't do once we leave here. He stared talking about his girlfriend – who was sitting a few rows in front of me. He used her as an example for a mini speech about 'The Lucky Ones'.

"…A lot of us don't think it now. A lot of us are thinking about what shots we're gonna drink tonight. But nonetheless, I'm sure that at least _ten_ of today's graduates are gonna get hitched in Vegas at some point in the next five years. Some of you here who are with someone, it might not last much longer. You might be one of those who fall in love again and again. You might be one of those who have had a fair amount of girlfriends in your life… _Danny Ricks_." There were a few roars of laughter, which I gathered came from Danny and his friends. "_Or_! Okay… okay… settle down. _Or_ you might be one of those who are the _lucky ones_. You might already know what you want and who you want. You might already have them. Like me… I do. And I'm sure I'm not the only one here who does."

Tears started to fill my eyes. I could feel Jacob staring at me and it only made the lump in my throat grow more. I tried not to touch my face, hoping the tears would dissolve on their own. But they didn't. One by one they spilled over. That was when I desperately tried to block out everything Ryan was saying.

Could Jacob see me crying?

If he could, why did he think I was crying? – did he think I knew?

"Hey," Abi whispered. _She'd_ spotted. Damn. "You alright?"

I looked at her but didn't answer. I tried to put on a smile, but it didn't appear as real as it had before. Then she smiled.

"Graduating is a big thing." She whispered to me. "But its okay – me and Eli, we're not going anywhere. We're not leaving you to start from square one all over again." She reassured me and put an arm round me. So _that's_ what she thought. She thought I was crying because I was upset to be leaving school.

What a stupid reason to cry.

I didn't even want to _start_ school, why should I be upset about leaving?

… Because I've met two amazing people who I wouldn't have met any other way. That I couldn't deny. Okay, so school wasn't _that_ bad. But that wasn't even the reason why I was crying.

But it didn't matter. Abi couldn't know the actual reason why, and if that's what she thought I was crying about then _that's_ what I was crying about.

I managed to control myself after a few minutes and by the time we could leave; it didn't look like I'd been crying.

I had graduated.

I had _officially_ graduated.

When people around me said it, they said it with happiness, with relief and without a care in the world. But for me, it only opened the gate for what I was meant to experience at some point today. What difference would it make if I avoided Jacob for the whole day?

I knew.

Just like last time, he wouldn't get to say goodbye and neither would I.

But maybe it would be easier that way. If we had the chance to say goodbye, it would be too difficult – maybe if I just woke up and he was gone, it would be easier. It wouldn't be brilliant, but it would be easier.

Then, the tears filled my eyes again. When I was finally out of the row, I headed in the opposite direction from everyone else and went to find the closest girl's bathroom.

"-Renesmee!" Abi called after me and I wished she hadn't. I didn't want her voice to draw attention to me, especially none from my family.

I pushed and shoved through the crowd of hyperactive teenagers and finally found the exit that led into the hallway. Everyone else was heading to the other exits that led outside.

"-nesmee!" I heard Abi's voice again then I shut the door behind me.

The corridors were silent. A ghost town. Down the hall to my right were the main bathrooms, I ran down there. Seeing as no one was around, I didn't bother making the effort to run at a normal pace. Plus, I didn't know how close Abi was on my tail.

The bathroom was the same inside as it was outside, deserted and silent. I picked the cubical closest to the end and locked the door behind me.

The tears didn't hold back this time and I pulled half the roll of tissue to blow my nose and dry my eyes. It wasn't long until I heard the bathroom door squeak open.

"Renesmee?" Abi called quietly. The door shut behind her and her heels clicked as she gently walked in.

It was obvious which one I was in. Her footsteps were louder the closer she came, and eventually she was standing just outside the door.

She knocked twice. "Renesmee?" she said. "Can I come in?"

"Just go Abi." I said, my nose clearly blocked.

She sighed. "No. I'm not going anywhere. What's wrong?"

I didn't answer.

"Renesmee, come _on_ – we're friends, aren't we? – Doesn't that mean we can tell each other things-" I got up and opened the door.

"Yes, we _can_ tell each other things. This just isn't something I want to talk about."

"Why not?"

"_Because_." I stormed past her and when to stare at my red blotchy face in the mirror. Black streaks from my mascara stained my cheeks. I sniffed and tried to wipe away the black smudges, but they were drying up.

"Abi, _please_. I really don't want to talk about it." I looked at her reflection and then back at my own.

"Is this something to do with those Voltra people-?"

"_Volturi_." I corrected her.

"_Volturi_ people, then? – Are you worried about them?"

"No."

"Then _what_?"

"Abi, just leave!" I snapped at her. I could tell that I startled her, but I had no choice. She was getting on my nerves and I didn't have time for this. She didn't say anything except:

"Alright. I'll go." She sighed as she reached for the door. "I guess I'll see you tonight. Hopefully, but don't worry, I won't hold my breath." And she left.

Ouch.

That hurt.

And the worst part was that I made her do that. I'd driven her to bite me.

The irony.

Minutes passed and I was still trying to get rid of these damn blotches. But every time I thought of the blotches, I thought of why I was crying, which only led me to cry more.

It was a vicious circle.

I just started drying up a fresh batch when the door opened again. Dammit Abi!

But no, it wasn't Abi.

It was worse.

It was _Claire_.

Dammit Abi! – why did you have to tell _her_?

"Wow, that's an attractive look for you. I didn't know blotchy faces were in this season." She smiled as she shut the door, and locked it. Uh-oh. She was getting serious.

"You're not funny. Now go away." I retorted and looked back at the mirror.

"Okay – so are you gonna tell me what's up? Or will I have to force it out of you?"

"Neither."

"What's wrong? – I thought you'd be happy about graduating-"

"_No_!" I snapped, "This has nothing to do with graduation, Claire." I paused. "Well, it does, kinda, but more about what will happen afterwards."

"And this is worrying you _now_? – But you were fine yesterday-"

"Yeah, well, yesterday I didn't know."

"You didn't know _what_?"

I bit my tongue. Then I went back to get some more tissue.

"Nothing." I mumbled, returning to the sink.

"Okay – I don't get this. You're such a hypocrite Renesmee Cullen. You complain about when Jacob's being weird and then you go and do it yourself." I flinched at his name. Unfortunately, Claire noticed the flinch.

"Oh." She said quietly, walking closer. "This is something to do with Jacob, isn't it?"

I looked at her. And I nodded, as I did the tears poured _again_. I was getting sick of this crying – but by now it felt out of my control. Claire put her arms around me and I rested my head on her shoulder, keeping my hands tightly clung around my waist so that no thoughts could go to her. She patted my hair.

"You're not pregnant, are you?" she asked.

"No. God no." I moved away from her.

"Well, do you want me to ask Jacob to-"

"No!" I snapped. "No, don't bring him here or even into this. Just don't!" she held her hands up.

"Jeez – alright, I won't bring him here. But, why not?"

"Because-" I went quiet and walked away from her. "Because, I just don't want to talk to him."

Claire came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Did you two have a fight or something?" she asked quietly.

"No." I muttered. "No – but it doesn't even matter Claire. Just _please_ go."

"No, I'm not leaving you-"but I didn't give her time to finish. If she wasn't going to leave – then I was going to leave for her. I bolted out the bathroom and left the building through the rear and ran into the forest.

Maybe through the eyes of anyone else, I was overreacting. Maybe even some might dare call me an 'attention seeker', but I needed to avoid Jacob.

I found a spot in a forest somewhere, where I threw myself against a tree and sat at its foot.

I couldn't have this conversation with him. It would hurt too much. Plus, it was inevitable. I wouldn't be able to rationalise or negotiate. If he had to go, the he _had_ to go. Jacob couldn't take me with him; I'd be eaten as soon as I got there for being a vampire.

There was a low rumble of thunder and rain started to drop onto my head. Perfect. Just perfect.

I used my graduation robe as shelter.

A few hours later, the rain was pouring hard. As I watched my feet, rain dripped off my nose and bits of my hair.

It was freezing.

I wished Jacob was here. That was the first time today I'd thought that, but I wanted him here. I wanted to warm up in his arms. I would miss that when he was gone. I would miss waking up to him in the mornings. I would miss the warm buzz I got when I knew he was there. I would miss hanging out with him for a minute like we're best friends, then the next I'm his girlfriend. Although it irritated me, I liked it when Claire wanted to know about how it was going with me and Jake – with him not here, she wouldn't have a reason to ask. All she could ask about is… _me_.

He couldn't leave me. Not again.

Suddenly, I couldn't stand the thought of him leaving me again without saying goodbye. I needed to know more. Maybe he _did_ know when he'd be back. Maybe he'd only be gone a week or two.

I needed to know.

I needed to see him.

Most of all, I needed _him_.

I ran south to Forks. With the robe still covering my head and the rain still heavy in my face. By this time, Alice's party must have started. I didn't know what the time was, but it felt like evening, maybe five or six? – I didn't care, just as long as I found him before it was too late.

What if it _was_ too late?

What if he needed to leave right after I graduated?

Oh god.

I picked up speed and was now running to my limits. I tripped over several times, which wasn't doing my leg any good.

Then, in the distance, I heard music. Loud music.

I must have been near home. I ran, faster this time.

Through the trees, the lights of the Cullen house became visible. The music was louder. And there were cars, _lots_ of cars.

I stopped at the forest border. At every window there were people talking, dancing and just…having fun. The house looked amazing, as usual.

Cautiously, I walked over the road to the house and stepped through the front door. The first room of people I saw were no one I knew particularly well. Just people I saw around school. I dodged the dancing couples, the gossiping girls and particularly the drunken guys. Where would be the best place to look for him? – If he _was_ here.

I was worried about finding anyone else before Jacob. I just want to find him and him only.

I searched around the house. I was about to check my bedroom when a new place occurred to me that should have been the first place I tried.

The Kitchen.

Again, I slid around couples and avoided the drunks. When I reached the kitchen, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by the people in there. Abi and Claire had obviously been dragged by Quil and Embry to the food. Esme and Rosalie constantly had to refill the food bowls.

"Boys, have you ever heard of '_ladies first_'?" grinned Esme as she brought over some kind of exotic dish. I lingered by the door and poked my head round the corner.

Seth was at it too.

Then I saw him. He was in the corner of the kitchen, talking to my parents. They, on the other hand, didn't look like they were having the greatest time in the world.

I probably shouldn't have taken off like that; maybe that was why they weren't so happy.

But at least Jake was still here.

As a few other people left the kitchen that left only the ones I knew remaining in there. So I took that chance and stepped into the kitchen.

**Hope you enjoyed it! I'll update again soon! :) please review! x x**


	26. Oh, The Joys Of Being Renesmee Cullen

**Okay, well, the time has come...  
>This is the FINAL chapter of Full moon.<strong>

**Hope you enjoy it!**

**Sorry it's not as long as the others :/ x **

**OH, THE JOYS OF BEING RENESMEE CULLEN**

THIS WAS IT. I NEEDED TO CONFRONT HIM NOW; I WAS RUNNING OUT OF TIME. CLAIRE SAW me first and turned to talk to me, but she saw that my mind was focused on something else and held back.

Then Bella saw me.

"_Renesmee_-"she grabbed me by the arms. "Why did you run off? What is _wrong_ with you?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just-"

"You _promised_ me you'd never do anything like that again-"

"I know. And I'm sorry."

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Bella was freaking out. It seemed that ever since we returned from Italy almost a month ago, I had been given less freedom than usual, _much_ less freedom. Except from school, I was very rarely allowed to go out on my own. I always had someone with me from now on. Until the coast was completely clear, that was how it was supposed to be. This was the first time I'd been away on my own, and the fact that it was unexpected made it even worse.

I was likely to be grounded for the next two months – but if Jacob was leaving me, then I didn't have much to do outside the house.

"This is your final warning." She warned me, "If you do it again, you're grounded. Now tell me what the hell is wrong? – or did you just feel like rebelling?"

"Mom I-" but I realised that I was still running out of time. My mother could lecture me when Jacob was gone and I didn't have anything better to do. But for now, it would have to wait.

I turned to Jacob who was standing closer than I thought.

"Jesus-"I flinched.

"Oops, sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." I cut him off and looked at him. Although he tried to act casual, his eyes held curiosity and anxiety. I started to feel the lump form in my throat again.

"You gonna tell me what's going on?" he asked, holding my chin to face him.

I needed to confront him now. It was my only chance.

I sighed, "I heard your conversation last night."

His face fell. Maybe that was a bit _too_ explicit – I probably should have come in smoother.

"Which one?" he asked, trying to regain casualness.

"The one you had _here_, _last night_ – after you were _supposed_ to have left."

He studied me for a moment. Then his face fell in disappointment.

"So – I guess you're not too happy about it?"

I scoffed and turned away as the tears began to threaten. "_Happy_? Why would I be _happy_ about it Jake? Was I happy about it _last_ time?"

"C'mon Ness, it'll be nothing like last time – you know that."

"No, it won't be like last night – you're right. It'll be _worse_. I can't do it again Jacob. I just _can't_."

I could tell by the look on his face that I was making this more difficult for him. From my reactions, he was going to struggle to tell me that everything would be okay. He would struggle to calm me down.

"Ness-"

"And another thing-" I cut him off. "- how could you _do_ this to me? After _everything_ we've been through. You _knew_ it was going happen yet you let everything we've become happen. Y'know, it would have been nice if you could've said something straight away. Like maybe when we first started dating – that way I wouldn't have let myself get too carried away with you and I would've held back-"

Jacob grabbed my shoulders. "Okay – I think, no, I _know_ that we are on completely different pages. Just get straight to the point, what are you talking about?"

"You're leaving me again." I cried, a tear left both eyes as I stared at him. He looked completely taken aback by what I said. Then he looked confused. And everyone else started to look confused too.

"What?" he asked, his lips turning into smirk. I punched him in the arm, hard.

"It's _not_ funny Jacob – why are you laughing?"

"Y-you thought I was _leaving_ you?" he grinned.

"Yes. You are. After everything that we've-!"

"Ness- I'm _not_ leaving you!"

"What-?" I calmed for a moment, then something started to build up in me again. I cried again, "Then _what _were you going to do after I graduated-?"

"I was going to ask you to marry me." He was calm now. I stopped crying. I stopped whining. I stopped talking. I even stopped breathing for a while.

"W-what?" I asked, quietly.

"This _really_ wasn't how I wanted to do it: with you screaming at me."

"But-" I looked at Bella, "_You_ said that it had only been nine months and that you wanted him to give me more time-"

"Jake's been back for nine months, yeah. But you've also been _dating_ for nine months."

Oh.

"Oh." I said, my mood subdued. Then I looked at Jacob.

"Will you excuse me whilst I go and bury my head in the dirt-"

He laughed. "That won't be necessary." He took my hands and pulled me closer. He kissed my nose and smiled.

"So- what have we learned today?"

"Not to run away."

"Yeah, what else?"

"Don't skip to conclusions."

"Another good one, _and_?"

I didn't respond.

He sighed, "Next time, if you're going to eavesdrop – Do it better."

I nodded, "Deal."

I slid my hands round his back and pulled him towards me for a hug. My head rested against his chest and I finally felt content.

Then something hit me.

"You were going to ask me to _marry_ you?" I asked, my lips turning into a smile.

"Yeah, but I don't know if I should wait a little longer or-"

"_No_. Why would you?"

"Are you ready?"

"Yes. Of _course_ I am."

"_Really_?" he had had a smile on his face the whole time, but now he turned serious. He held my chin and then kissed me. I smiled between kisses and then I whispered:

"I love you." And he rested his forehead against mine.

"In that case-"he put his hand in his pocket, "Will you marry me?" As I looked at him, I saw him hold up a ring. It was… _beautiful_. The jewel was a deep blue with a silver band.

"Oh my g-"I looked at the ring in awe. "Jake it's-"

"Renesmee-"Claire sighed behind me, "Yes or no?"

I smiled at her comment and looked at Jacob.

I nodded, "Yes."

Shortly after I had accepted Jacob's proposal, Alice had joined us only to send me to my room to change. Admittedly, I was hugely thankful to be out of those wet clothes. My dress, shoes and tights were already waiting for me on my bed.

When I'd changed my clothes, I glided to my dresser and just sat at it for a moment, running my fingers through my hair. Every time I ran them through, I gazed at the ring on my finger.

Although it was to be expected at some point, I couldn't actually believe that I was no longer dating Jacob – I was _engaged_ to him.

The ring was beautiful – In fact I didn't think I had a ring that was better.

I'd sat there for about ten minutes when there was a knock at my door that was barely audible over the bass of music.

"Come in!" I called, or more like shouted. Why did humans have to have music so loud? – were they all deaf? – I sure as hell was going to be at this rate.

My door opened and for a brief time, the music was louder – until my door was shut and I could hear myself think again. It was Jacob.

"What's the hold up?" he asked, perching himself on the edge of my bed.

"Nothing, I'm just trying to make my hair look decent."

"Your hair looks beautiful – even when it _is_ dripping wet."

"Thanks. It's not as wet as it was." I settled for that and stood up. Jacob left my bed and stood in front of me. His eyes luring mine to his.

"I'm sorry about freaking out earlier," I told him. "I was just so sure that you-"

"How many times have I promised I will _never_ leave you again?" he asked.

I hung my head. "A lot."

"Exactly, and that's a promise that I will never break. Especially not now-" he was look at my left hand that was placed on his chest.

I watched him look at it and smiled.

"It's beautiful." I told him.

"It was my mom's." – My head shot up.

"_What_?" I gasped. "Jake, a-are you _sure_ I should have this? – I mean, shouldn't maybe your sisters have it or something?"

"To be honest, I thought they _did_ have it. But my dad hid it from them over the years as they gradually took away their inherited jewellery. When I told him that I was thinking of asking you to marry me – he gave me this, straight away."

"Wow." I whispered.

"I'm pretty sure she would've wanted you to have it." He assured me. "Just so you know, that's sapphire."

"I love sapphire."

"I know – hence why I thought you'd like it and hence why I took it."

I sighed and rested my head on his chest. "Y'know, if you'd told me this time a year ago that you'd be back this time next year, I would have been thrilled. If you'd told me that I would start school, I would have thought you were weird. But if you'd told me that within the next year I would start school, have you back, fall in love with you, date you, be accused of murder, gain a new gift, go to England _and_ Italy, nearly marry a stranger and _then_ get engaged to you – I would have called the police and sent you to a lunatic asylum."

He laughed, "Shows what a difference a year makes, huh?"

"Yeah - what a difference." I mused.

Okay, things were _officially_ looking up. So after completely ruining my graduation day by locking myself in a bathroom and crying my eyes out over a ridiculous conclusion I had jumped to, ironically, my graduation day had turned out to be one of the greatest days of my life.

Jacob came back – I knew he would. Sometimes I felt like I was the _only_ one who had faith in him for that. And, when he did, turns out I wasn't going insane and growing obsessed with my best friend – the feeling was mutual.

It had been a busy year. And over time, the word might spread about my newly developed gift which could make me a 'Most Wanted'. But until then, I was going to erase any negative possibilities and only focus on the good. My life is going to be too long to spend it worrying about what _could_ happen. Maybe I should have learned that a few months ago…

But now, here I was – at home, graduated, with my friends and family and a boyfr- _fiancé _who it turns out I was meant to be with from the very beginning.

Oh the joys of being Renesmee Cullen. Oh the joy.

The End.

**That's it!**

**Thank you all soooooo much for reading and all of your wonderful reviews! Please review - I want to know your overall opinion of the story plus what you thought of the final chapter. **

**I think some might have guessed what was going to happen. ****I _did_ consider making Jacob leave (for rounding up the story reasons) - but very quickly chose against it.**

**Anyway, I really loved writing this again. I don't want to leave them and was thinking of doing a sequel - let me know what you think - maybe give some suggestions? :)**

**Thank you again for reading and hope you liked the story!**

**Wolfpire x x x**


	27. Only The Beginning Alternate Ending

**I had a bit of a brainwave the other day and thought of another ending for Full moon - which is similar, but happens differently. Personally, I prefer this one so, I thought I would write this up and share it with you! :)**

**Enjoy!**

**ONLY THE BEGINNING**

THIS WAS IT. I NEEDED TO CONFRONT HIM NOW; I WAS RUNNING OUT OF TIME. CLAIRE SAW me first and turned to talk to me, but she saw that my mind was focused on something else and held back.

Then Bella saw me.

"Renesmee-"she grabbed me by the arms. "Why did you run off? What is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just-"

"You promised me you'd never do anything like that again-"

"I know. And I'm sorry."

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Bella was freaking out. It seemed that ever since we returned from Italy almost a month ago, I had been given less freedom than usual, much less freedom. Except from school, I was very rarely allowed to go out on my own. I always had someone with me from now on. Until the coast was completely clear, that was how it was supposed to be. This was the first time I'd been away on my own, and the fact that it was unexpected made it even worse.

I was likely to be grounded for the next two months – but if Jacob was leaving me, then I didn't have much to do outside the house.

"This is your final warning." She warned me, "If you do it again, you're grounded. Now tell me what the hell is wrong? – or did you just feel like rebelling?"

"Mom I-" but I realized that I was still running out of time. My mother could lecture me when Jacob was gone and I didn't have anything better to do. But for now, it would have to wait.

I turned to Jacob who was standing closer than I thought.

"Jesus-"I flinched.

"Oops, sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." I cut him off and looked at him. Although he tried to act casual, his eyes held curiosity and anxiety. I started to feel the lump form in my throat again.

"You gonna tell me what's going on?" he asked, holding my chin to face him.

I needed to confront him now. It was my only chance.

I sighed, "I heard your conversation last night."

His face fell. Maybe that was a bit too explicit – I probably should have come in smoother.

"Which one?" he asked, trying to regain casualness.

"The one you had here, last night – after you were supposed to have left."

He studied me for a moment. Then his face fell in disappointment.

"So – I guess you're not too happy about it?"

I scoffed and turned away as the tears began to threaten. "Happy? Why would I be happy about it Jake? Was I happy about it last time?"

"C'mon Ness, it'll be nothing like last time – you know that."

"No, it won't be like last night – you're right. It'll be worse. I can't do it again Jacob. I just can't."

I could tell by the look on his face that I was making this more difficult for him. From my reactions, he was going to struggle to tell me that everything would be okay. He would struggle to calm me down.

"Ness-"

"And another thing-" I cut him off. "- how could you do this to me? After everything we've been through. You knew it was going happen yet you let everything we've become happen. Y'know, it would have been nice if you could've said something straight away. Like maybe when we first started dating – that way I wouldn't have let myself get too carried away with you and I would've held back-"

Jacob grabbed my shoulders. "Okay – I think, no, I know that we are on completely different pages. Just get straight to the point, what are you talking about?"

"You're leaving me again." I cried, a tear left both eyes as I stared at him. He looked completely taken aback by what I said. Then he looked confused. And everyone else started to look confused too.

"What?" he asked, his lips turning into smirk. I punched him in the arm, hard.

"It's not funny Jacob – why are you laughing?"

"Y-you thought I was leaving you?" he grinned.

"Yes. You are. After everything that we've-!"

"Ness- I'm not leaving you!"

"What-?" I calmed for a moment, then something started to build up in me again. I cried again, "Then what were you going to do after I graduated-?"

"I sure as hell wasn't leaving you."

I stared at him. So - he wasn't leaving me. How could I have been such an idiot? Of course he wasn't leaving me.

"Oh-I- er-"

He grinned "Apology accepted. Next time, if you're going to eavesdrop, eavesdrop better. I thought you were good at being sneaky?"

"I am - you didn't know I was eavesdropping did you?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Point taken."

"Hold on-" Bella interrupted, "- I'm not saying that Jake is leaving, but if he was, surely you'd want to spend as much time with him as you can - why did you run off?"

"Because I thought he was going to tell me tonight or after graduation. But I didn't want him to tell me because I thought it'd be too hard-"

"So, you were trying to stay away so that he could never say goodbye to you?"

I knew that he wasn't leaving but, her words sent a sick guilt feeling to my stomach. I hadn't looked at it like that. It wasn't difficult for me to admit – it was a completely selfish and clearly un-thought out thing to do. I was too busy thinking about how it would have affected me and how it had been before to realise what it would do to him.

Why did I deserve him?

After everything I'd put him through… I shuddered. My guilty conscience was my worst enemy right now.

"Okay, I didn't think through what I was doing – my mind hadn't had time to fully absorb everything," I turned to Jake, "I'm sorry."

"Again- apology accepted." He wrapped his arms around me and I pinned my face against his arm chest. He kissed my head and pulled me away from him slightly.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" he asked, "Go for a walk, maybe?"

"But it's r-"

"Not raining anymore." I hadn't noticed Alice come in to help with refilling the food.

"But, Alice, I thought you couldn't see Jacob?" I asked.

"I can't," she said, "But I can see the weather out the windows." The 'duh' at the end of her sentence was silent to the others, but I could hear it loud and clear.

For somewhere that has constant rain, the sky can sure as hell clear up quick. Small patches of dark cloud lurked in the air in front of a dark bluish red sky. It was sort of nice – if you weren't looking at the large puddles on the ground that is. Walking back through the forest was so different this time. Last time I had been running like my life depended on it and visions of what my life might be like again flashing through my head. Now everything was calm.

Even after years and years of exploring the forest, every time, it always felt infinitive. The odd thing was that I rarely recognized a specific area in this place – yet I knew exactly where we were. I had been here once before, on the night of my eighteenth birthday, with Jacob. It was a memory that I would never ever forget no matter how many times someone tried to erase my memory.

We sat down on the damp forest floor. Everywhere was so quiet now and the smell of fresh rain on the leaves and grass was stronger than ever.

"I think I managed to let my over reaction-ness ruin my graduation day. I was so sure that's what you were doing." I threw my head back in frustration and managed to hit my head hard on a tree behind us.

As I rubbed my head, Jacob leant back and rested an arm against the tree that I could rest my head on.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Jacob spoke.

"How many times have I told you that I won't leave you again?" he asked. At first I wondered if it was rhetorical – it sure sounded like that. But he didn't say anything, clearly because he was waiting for me to answer.

"A lot."

"Do you think I said all that just for the hell of it?" he asked. When I didn't answer, he sighed. "Ness- If knew that I was going to leave you again then I would have said something by now. Chances are – I probably wouldn't have got involved with you either. Especially if I knew it was going to be less than a year later. I would have stayed your friend and-"

"-I still wouldn't know that you imprinted on me?"

"Well, unless anyone else told you about it – no."

Although I was thrilled when I found out – I was also irritated by the length of time I'd been kept in the dark. I couldn't imagine still being like that and not knowing.

"I can't imagine still being friends with you." I thought, aloud. "So much has happened in the past year that-"

"You can't imagine it any other way?" he grinned, "It's a life changing thing."

"No kidding."

We sat in silence then. The sky above us darkened and the shelter of the trees only made it darker. As time went on, fewer trees in the distance were visible. I had grown so used to the silence that when Jacob suddenly spoke I flinched away from him.

"What would you say if I asked you to marry me?" he asked. My heart froze. My headed snapped to him.

Well, that was unexpected.

"Er-" I felt like I needed to say something but I was under so much shock that I couldn't form proper words.

"Er-?" Jacob repeated, his face slightly worried.

"I would say that it was unexpected." I said.

He smiled, "I guess so, and I guess not."

"Well, I – er. Wait – so that's what you were talking about last night? – You were asking my parents' permission?"

"Well, yeah, sort of."

"Sortof?"

"I guess they always knew it was going to happen. I mean – didn't you always know?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose so. The only thing I didn't know was when. I mean, think about it – what's the rush?"

"So, is that 'no'?"

"N-"

"-On the basis that you don't want to get engaged at such a young age-"

"N-"

"-Or walk in your mom's and grandmother's footsteps?"

"Can I finish?"

He grinned childishly. "Continue."

"It's not a 'no' and it's not that I don't want to walk in my mother and grandmother's footsteps – except from the whole pregnancy thing, I want that to wait. I mean, I just got out of an engagement-"

"But this'll be different-"

"Oh, I know it'll be different. I guess when I look at it, I was going to marry you eventually – I just didn't expect you to ask so soon. I mean, look at Quil and Claire – Claire will age, surely they should've gotten engaged sooner."

"But this isn't about them, it's about us. I know Claire's like your sister and all, but it doesn't meant that you need to coordinate what you both do." He insisted. I didn't speak for a long moment. So, Jacob turned my chin to him before he took my hands in one of his.

"I think I should try that again." He smiled. "Renesmee- I love you more than anything. I would do anything for you and I would be anything for you. I'm not going to pressure you into becoming my wife, but I will ask you in a more… traditional way."

He slipped his hand into his pocket and held a ring in front of me. It was… beautiful. The jewel was a deep blue with a silver band.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen – will you marry me?" I then looked from the ring to him and smiled.

"Of course." He tried to put the ring onto my finger, but through the spark of the moment, I pulled him to me and crushed my lips to his.

The longer we sat there the wetter my jeans became, but the more bliss I felt. I looked down at the ring that was now on my finger. "It's beautiful." I smiled.

"It was my mom's." – My head shot up.

"What?" I gasped. "Jake, a-are you sure I should have this? – I mean, shouldn't maybe your sisters have it or something?"

"To be honest, I thought they did have it. But my dad hid it from them over the years as they gradually took away their inherited jewellery. When I told him that I was thinking of asking you to marry me – he gave me this, straight away."

"Wow." I whispered.

"I'm pretty sure she would've wanted you to have it." He assured me. "Just so you know, that's sapphire."

"I love sapphire."

"I know – hence why I thought you'd like it and hence why I took it."

I sighed and rested my head on his chest. "Y'know, if you'd told me this time a year ago that you'd be back this time next year, I would have been thrilled. If you'd told me that I would start school, I would have thought you were weird. But if you'd told me that within the next year I would start school, have you back, fall in love with you, date you, be accused of murder, gain a new gift, go to England and Italy, nearly marry a stranger and then get engaged to you – I would have called the police and sent you to a lunatic asylum."

He laughed, "Shows what a difference a year makes, huh?"

"Yeah - what a difference." I mused.

Okay, things were officially looking up. So after completely ruining my graduation day by locking myself in a bathroom and crying my eyes out over a ridiculous conclusion I had jumped to, ironically, my graduation day had turned out to be one of the greatest days of my life.

Jacob came back – I knew he would. Sometimes I felt like I was the only one who had faith in him for that. And, when he did, turns out I wasn't going insane and growing obsessed with my best friend – the feeling was mutual.

It had been a busy year. And over time, the word might spread about my newly developed gift which could make me a 'Most Wanted'. But until then, I was going to erase any negative possibilities and only focus on the good. My life is going to be too long to spend it worrying about what could happen. Maybe I should have learned that a few months ago…

But now, here I was – at home, graduated, with my friends and family and a boyfr- fiancé who it turns out I was meant to be with from the very beginning.

Oh the joys of being Renesmee Cullen. Oh the joy.

I suppose, to most people this would be considered the 'happy ending' - but to me, this was the 'happy start'. Because I wasn't anywhere near the end. After all, it was only the beginning.

**So, which version did you prefer? - this one or the original?**

**let me know! :)**

**Okay, many of you will have read this already and be wondering where Half moon is (the original sequel to Full moon) - well, Half moon didn't live very long I'm afraid :( sorry for those who didn't get a chance to read it. **

**So, I'm starting fresh. There will be a new sequel that I'm hoping will be much MUCH better. I have decided that it will be called 'The Last Quarter' - keep an eye out for it as the preface (at least) will be published soon :)**

**Anyway, for those of you who have stuck with Full moon from start to finish, thank you so, so much. It means a lot to me, truly.**

**I hope you enjoyed it and review! Let me know what you think of the story as a whole :) and suggestions for sequel are always welcome.**

**Thank you so much for reading! :) **

**Wolfpire xx **


	28. Evanescence

Hi everyone!

Its been a while... I know...

Anyway! So, I've started to write an original story called 'Evanescence' and I've started to post it up on FanFiction's sister site FictionPress.

Everyone who read this story has been just amazing and I would love to see what you think of my own story. As much as I LOVE Renesmee and Jacob, I've started to realise I need to move away from them! :)

So... Yeah...

If you have time to give it a read, I would be so grateful! - there's only 4 chapters at the moment, but they're a decent length.

Heres the link - s/3001369/1/Evanescence

The synopsis is a little cheesy, but it was hard to summarise the story when there's so much that goes into it.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now... thanks for taking the time to read this! Much appreciated! :) x


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